Hello

[lilangelsub]

Let me introduce myself. i am 40something :D and i am a mother of 4 children and 1 grandchild, a dog and 2 cats. i live in the Northeast, U.S. i have been divorced now for over 3 years and love it. After my divorce, i went back to school and earned my Associates Degree. i will be moving out of my area soon and will be looking for a job that is suitable for me.

i learned that i was submissive a few years ago, but looking back throughout my life, it was there all along. i had an online training relationship with a couple of Doms but they didn't work out. i started a picture thread on another forum as a way to break out of my shell and comfort zone and met someone there who has become my Dom. We are in a D/s relationship and i am currently in training and we are scheduled to meet at the end of the summer.

i came to this forum for some answers to questions that plague me at times. i have only been my Master's sub for almost 8 months now, but i can never seem to stop making mistakes. i never know they are mistakes until after they happen...and then it's too late. The deed is done and Master is upset. i would love to be able to go one week without putting my foot in my mouth and making more mistakes.

[MajesticFae]

Welcome to the forums sweetie. I hope we can help you learn and grow. Post any questions/comments/concerns you may have and we look forward to seeing you around!

[lilangelsub]

Welcome to the forums sweetie. I hope we can help you learn and grow. Post any questions/comments/concerns you may have and we look forward to seeing you around!
Thank you very much. Well, if i'm not being to forward and needy, i'm dealing with one issue right now as a matter of fact.

My Master's computer has died and we have not been able to chat for over a week. (Now, before i continue, let me say before said computer died, our normal pattern to chat was every single day. M-F 2-3 hours and on Sat and Sun it would be 3-4 hours each day beginning at 2am) He went to an internet cafe to talk with me on Thursday. Well when we chatted on Thursday he said he did not know when he would be able to be online again but that he would let me know. Well, i never get a message or an email from him telling me the next time he was going to be online so last night i went to bed instead of going online at 2am. Well it turned out this morning when i logged onto my computer, there was a message from him. All he said was...."Well, slut??"

He had been online and i was not there. He did not tell me he would be there like he said he would. He will be upset with me because i wasn't online for him.

i am upset that i didn't go online to see if he was there...just in case. If i had done that then we would have had a nice evening together. Instead, now i have to worry about what is going to happen and what my punishment might be.

This week that we have had apart has been terribly hard on me, i have not been separated from him like this. When you are used to spending time with eachother everyday, being apart for over a week with minimal contact, can be quite stressing.

PS-i should mention that my LDR....he lives in England i live in the U.S. Phone calls are a rare treat as they are expensive, so almost all our contact is through messaging and forums right now.

[Pertez]

Welcome :wave:

[lilangelsub]

Welcome :wave:

Thank you Pertez :)

[angelic.zest]

hello and Welcome to the community!!!!! maybe if ur able you can always come join us in chat sometime.. :wave:

[Rhabbi]

:wave: Hello and :welcome: to the forums

[ceegee{Benz}]

hello and welcome to the forums

ceegee and Benz

[Woogsbie]

littleslut: I suggest you two get headphones, microphpones and a program like Skype ( http://skype.com/ ) so you can talk to each other. you may be doing that already, but just thought I would throw it out there.

[lilangelsub]

hello and Welcome to the community!!!!! maybe if ur able you can always come join us in chat sometime.. :wave:
Thank you. i will probably do that soon, when i figure out how chat works. :dunno: :)

[lilangelsub]

:wave: Hello and :welcome: to the forums

Thank you Rhabbi :)

[lilangelsub]

hello and welcome to the forums

ceegee and Benz

Thank you very much ceegee and Benz :)

[lilangelsub]

littleslut: I suggest you two get headphones, microphpones and a program like Skype ( http://skype.com/ ) so you can talk to each other. you may be doing that already, but just thought I would throw it out there.

Thank you Woogsbie, sounded like a great idea, but as i was looking through it there is a yearly fee of $29.95 in the US. Problem with me is that my Master lives overseas...international. Which means that there is a per phone call connection charge as well as a per minute charge. i am not working at the moment and i wouldn't be able to share in these additional fees. :(

[nk_lion]

Hey and welcome,

Now depending on your computer knowledge, you can actually manage to setup a VOIP service for yourself, and it pretty much costs around 20-30/year for unlimited calls to Canada/US/Western Europe

[annie]

Welcome littleslut!

You may wish to copy your post about the missed contact to the BDSM life section for more of a response from the general forums. I may be able to move/copy the post (new MOD not completely sure) if you would like. Just let me know either here or through pm!

Thanks and hope you enjoy!
annie

[crikey_2004]

Hi and welcome! I look forward to finding your thread about the missed contact!

[lilangelsub]

Hi and welcome! I look forward to finding your thread about the missed contact!
Well, things are not going as well as i had hoped. Not sure where things stand at the moment.

We had a conversation that was abruptly ended with no communication with each other since and it's been over a week now. :( i don't know what to think or what to do. Maybe it's best that it end in the long run, because as hard as i could try to please him, i never could seem to stop making those mistakes and ended up displeasing him more than i pleased him. As much as i want to live this lifestyle, maybe it's not for me afterall. :(

[jeanne]

Hello and welcome, I'm sad to hear that things are not going well. Don't give up on yourself, perhaps you simply need a different type of dom...just having BDSM in common isn't enough, there needs to be a match in other ways too. Keep your chin up!

[suchaminx]

Hello and welcome to the forums.

Lack of contact in an online relationship is for me one of the hardest things to deal with, but the good news is it can and does work :) So please don't give up hope.


Like annie has already suggested it may be worth starting a thread in My BDSM Life - you won't be alone with this ~hugs~

It is good to have you with us and being here will help I am sure

minxy

[lilangelsub]

Hello and welcome to the forums.

Lack of contact in an online relationship is for me one of the hardest things to deal with, but the good news is it can and does work :) So please don't give up hope.


Like annie has already suggested it may be worth starting a thread in My BDSM Life - you won't be alone with this ~hugs~

It is good to have you with us and being here will help I am sure

minxy
i think it might be too late for us now. After a week and a half i got an email from him basically telling me to come up with a reason for him to stay and i couldn't come up with one, because if i were in his shoes, i wouldn't want me either with all the mistakes and disappointments i've created. it's not going to work out anymore. i'm done with long distance relationships. i've tried several times and they don't work for me. :(

[jeanne]

I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out - take care of yourself and reach out to others here when you feel the need. You'll find the support very helpful.

:wave:

[lilangelsub]

I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out - take care of yourself and reach out to others here when you feel the need. You'll find the support very helpful.

:wave:
Thank you for the sentiments his_j and I will do as you suggest. But I think I will need a name change first before I start posting there. After all, I am no longer my Masterslilslut. :(

[jeanne]

Take some time to think about the name change - no rush (and I predict you will be someone's lil slut sooner than you think - in the most loving way of course) Take care!

[lilangelsub]

Take some time to think about the name change - no rush (and I predict you will be someone's lil slut sooner than you think - in the most loving way of course) Take care!
No, I'm not going to rush the name change, but I do want one that is most appropriate.

As far as being someone else's slut, I'm not sure I want to go that route. Or at the very least--I do NOT want another online relationship again. "IF" there is another Dom in my future then I will have to meet him offline somehow and local...no more of these long distance relationships either.

In the meantime, I'll be thinking about my new name :D

[jeanne]

I completely understand! Personally, I can't conceive of how an online relationship works - I see them working well here, but don't understand/appreciate the work that must go into making that fun, sexy, etc. My hat goes off to those that make it work. I just don't know if I could. (and I'm very fortunate I don't have to find out)

I hope to hear more from you soon - please feel free to PM anytime.

[lilangelsub]

I completely understand! Personally, I can't conceive of how an online relationship works - I see them working well here, but don't understand/appreciate the work that must go into making that fun, sexy, etc. My hat goes off to those that make it work. I just don't know if I could. (and I'm very fortunate I don't have to find out)

I hope to hear more from you soon - please feel free to PM anytime.
It takes extremely hard work to make it work and it did work for several months, but then something happened to turn things around, and as hard as I tried, it was not good enough anymore. :( You are very lucky not to have to find out. Wish I had the same luxury.

[Flaming_Redhead]

:welcomebo