Do you cheat?

[moptop]

This is for the on-line subs, really. No, I don't mean are you unfaithful - although that's another one that could be asked! - I mean, do you cheat on the tasks you're given to do, outside of your Master's/Mistress's supervision? Because it's easy enough to do. How good are you?

I am personally extremely tempted to cheat right now. In fact, I'm posting this to put off the awful moment when I have to do my nightly tasks. This is, 10 minutes position practice, followed by masturbating to edge. Alternate nights, do vaginal muscle practice instead of masturbating.

I've been doing this for some time now... whenever he can't join me - which is rather a lot at the moment - that is the routine. And I'm bored to hell with it.

So - all I have to do is take the position long enough to take a piccy (always provide proof...); get a toy out and take another piccy (because I don't even want to play tonight); and write up something imaginative to add to my journal.

So easy to do!

I don't think I will, but... do you?

[Clevernick]

Ah, the perils of on-line domination.

I've been having plenty of conversations about this with others lately -- domination without being physically present is a serious challenge.

If the sub cheats while you're away, sub loses respect for you. If you give assignments that sub can cheat on, are you trusting her, or just setting yourself up for failure?

Maybe it's best only to give assignments that can be proved undeniably to have been done. Maybe it's best to get into the habit of showing up unexpectedly to check in person.

Maybe online Dom is a much more challenging role than R/L.

[cadence]

Yes I have been there and done that on the cheating of tasks.
I always end up fessing up about it eventually, and end up with a super wonderful great punishment.

It would be soooo easy to just cheat and no one would ever be the wiser.
But I find that it just defeats the purpose of what you are trying to do. I don't think that the intention is there to be set up for failures, it is just another thing that must be communicated.
Since then my tasks are either written, done on video, or done on cam when at all possible.

I have been so tempted at the Academy right now to skip all my punishments on my Custom Task, seeing that I opened my big mouth, and most of the punishments, I ended up liking. To stick six clothespins on your tounge and more on your lips is not the easiest thing to do. And now I have the 9 volt battery. But if I don't do them, I just defeated the whole purpose of the task itself.
So yes while I have seriously thought of lying about tasks, I can't and won't.......... I guess it is part of the learning process of being a sub.

[Mishka]

No, I don't cheat or do my tasks half-assed. If I don't finish on time (or my worst sin - forget [I now write a list for everything]) He knows about it and knows why. We can't have the pics that we'd like Him to have (or me to have ;) ppuurrrr ) So He set up a spreadsheet to keep track of some consistent tasks He wants to keep tabs on, especially when we can't get together, it's nice to fill that out and know He checks on it.

I'm actually a lazy person but I keep trying harder. Rhabbi is a very good teacher. So it defeats the purpose for me to cheat. Though I can relate to getting bored with something monotenous, only from real life instead of online.

[Ozme52]

Ah, the perils of on-line domination.

I've been having plenty of conversations about this with others lately -- domination without being physically present is a serious challenge.

If the sub cheats while you're away, sub loses respect for you. If you give assignments that sub can cheat on, are you trusting her, or just setting yourself up for failure?

Maybe it's best only to give assignments that can be proved undeniably to have been done. Maybe it's best to get into the habit of showing up unexpectedly to check in person.

Maybe online Dom is a much more challenging role than R/L.

On the other hand, if you take time and get to know your online partner, you can usually tell if they're sincere in their wish to serve... and thereby you can indeed trust them, provide legitimate tasks in which they can be successful, and further a satisfying relationship for both.

I do ask for journal entries of activities and feelings and the truth always comes out therein anyway. Therefore I rarely need or require "proof."

[suchaminx]

I could never cheat on a task!

Why?

Because I would know I had failed and the torment and self torture I would put myself through would be far harder than any punishment he could give me.

I can't keep anything from him - and if I didn't do something properly - he would know from my journal - it would sound different - hard to explain but he would just know

If I can't do something - then it gives us an opportunity to explore why - was it an impossible ask in the first place, was there something physically wrong that sort of thing

Finally I guess I do it just because he asked :)

[~hellish one~]

it's not cheating if you tell on yourself. and i ALWAYS tell on myself! ~grumbles~

[Warbaby1943]

Very interesting thread. I guess my question would be, "If you cheat, who are you really cheating?"

Interesting concept, "If you tell on yourself it isn't cheating." I have to think on that one for awhile but off hand I'd say it was still cheating. Guilt over cheating makes you tell on yourself. If I change my mind I'll post again but that is my opinion at this time.

[MajesticFae]

It's not cheating if you fess up. When I don't do a task or something it's usually because of an extreme circumstance like sickness or an emergency. I've never cheated just to cheat though.

[tessa]

I knew minxy was practically perfect. Hey! That makes her the Mary Poppins of subbies! :)

Warbaby, you got me to thinking. I was all in agreement with hellish about the "not cheating if you tell" thing. Then you came along and asked, "who are you reall cheating?"

I know this is about online subs for the most part (hope it's okay I wandered in, moptop) but one can cheat in face to face too. I mean, not about many things, but yeah, it can happen.

Not that I'm saying I cheat at anything. Just saying...

~re-reads minxy's post~ I wanna be like her. :icon277:

tessa :wave:

[~hellish one~]

the reason it's not cheating to me is because i never go into a task with the intention of cheating and trying to get away with it. if i am given a task and am unable to do it or screw it up, yeah i fucked up, but i'm not going to cheat and try to hide that mistake from him. i confess and tell him what happened...therefore it is not cheating. it's all about intent in my opinion.

if you are given a task and make a clear conscious decision.."no, i'm not going to do that and i'll just lie about doing it" then hell yeah that's cheating. hands down.

[suchaminx]

*starts to sing Supercalafrag.......................then thinks heck I can't spell it so I can't be Mary Poppins!!

tessa - you are very sweet - but no way am I perfect, just always want to be the best I can be especially where one certain person is concerned ~sighs and drifts off into her dream world~

love minxy xx

[Warbaby1943]

I knew minxy was practically perfect. Hey! That makes her the Mary Poppins of subbies! :)

Warbaby, you got me to thinking. I was all in agreement with hellish about the "not cheating if you tell" thing. Then you came along and asked, "who are you reall cheating?"

I know this is about online subs for the most part (hope it's okay I wandered in, moptop) but one can cheat in face to face too. I mean, not about many things, but yeah, it can happen.

Not that I'm saying I cheat at anything. Just saying...

~re-reads minxy's post~ I wanna be like her. :icon277:

tessa :wave:Tessa didn't mean to throw a monkey wrench into this. My only point in asking was all I read here about how a sub feels so badly if she disappoints her Dom makes me wonder if an "intentional" cheat would hurt the sub more than the Dom. I know AG always does her damnedest to do anything I ask. If there would be something she couldn't do that I asked then I would see that as a failure on my part to know her well enough. So if I do know her well enough and I ask her to do something and she cheats (I am 100% certain she never would; just using us as an example) then I believe she has let her self down more than she has disappointed me. Maybe I should feel differently but I don't.

[Rhabbi]

No, I don't cheat or do my tasks half-assed. If I don't finish on time (or my worst sin - forget [I now write a list for everything]) He knows about it and knows why. We can't have the pics that we'd like Him to have (or me to have ;) ppuurrrr ) So He set up a spreadsheet to keep track of some consistent tasks He wants to keep tabs on, especially when we can't get together, it's nice to fill that out and know He checks on it.

I'm actually a lazy person but I keep trying harder. Rhabbi is a very good teacher. So it defeats the purpose for me to cheat. Though I can relate to getting bored with something monotenous, only from real life instead of online.

Let me say here that I trust Mishka, and I only check on these tasks to help her keep track of them. When she tells me something is done I believe her. Why would she cheat?

[tessa]

Tessa didn't mean to throw a monkey wrench into this. My only point in asking was all I read here about how a sub feels so badly if she disappoints her Dom makes me wonder if an "intentional" cheat would hurt the sub more than the Dom. I know AG always does her damnedest to do anything I ask. If there would be something she couldn't do that I asked then I would see that as a failure on my part to know her well enough. So if I do know her well enough and I ask her to do something and she cheats (I am 100% certain she never would; just using us as an example) then I believe she has let her self down more than she has disappointed me. Maybe I should feel differently but I don't.

That's exactly what I was thinking, Warbaby. After seeing it from your perspective, it allowed me see that the cheating would, in so many ways, definitely hurt the sub more than the Dom. You made me think. And I appreciate it. :)

Please don't feel differently about anything! You seem to know just what's what and I always learn something from you. Just like now. ~hugs~

tessa :wave:

[isabeau6]

it's not cheating if you tell on yourself. and i ALWAYS tell on myself! ~grumbles~

ahh you and i both...i'm so super honest, it always gets me into trouble..and no i haven't cheated lately...with earlier online Masters i did..hell i had one online Master who ordered me to go walk in the park and pick up a stranger and bring him/her back for a blowjob if a male..and some sort of sex if a female..and allowing them to tie me up..i was like uh sure..i'll do that...i didn't do it..but damn i wrote a fantastic email describing everything i and the female did while back at my house..hehe..he got soo damn excited..hehe..

seriously isn't it a Dom/Master's responsibility to protect his sub/slave? damn..i could have gotten killed..or something..that was way back a few years ago when i really was naive about this stuff..

isabeau6

[Warbaby1943]

ahh you and i both...i'm so super honest, it always gets me into trouble..and no i haven't cheated lately...with earlier online Masters i did..hell i had one online Master who ordered me to go walk in the park and pick up a stranger and bring him/her back for a blowjob if a male..and some sort of sex if a female..and allowing them to tie me up..i was like uh sure..i'll do that...i didn't do it..but damn i wrote a fantastic email describing everything i and the female did while back at my house..hehe..he got soo damn excited..hehe..

seriously isn't it a Dom/Master's responsibility to protect his sub/slave? damn..i could have gotten killed..or something..that was way back a few years ago when i really was naive about this stuff..

isabeau6God glad you didn't do it and yes it is a Dom's responsibility to protect his sub. You should never have been asked to do anything so dangerous in the first place. It is great that you had the common sense to not do it.

My only question would be, since the sub still has rights and especially to protect herself against harm, why in the world didn't you just tell him there was no way in hell you would do anything that could so seriously put you in harms' way? If he cared at all for you he certainly would have understood.

[isabeau6]

God glad you didn't do it and yes it is a Dom's responsibility to protect his sub. You should never have been asked to do anything so dangerous in the first place. It is great that you had the common sense to not do it.

My only question would be, since the sub still has rights and especially to protect herself against harm, why in the world didn't you just tell him there was no way in hell you would do anything that could so seriously put you in harms' way? If he cared at all for you he certainly would have understood.

well for one thing he was my very first online Master..and he said i had no rights..i would try to argue that point with him, only to get punished..i was an object to him..a pet if you will...and remember i was horribly new..as i learned i would try and tell him the rules..he said rules weren't for him and myself.. i don't know if he cared for me or not..he never allowed me to show my personality to him..i balked at beastiality however and water sports..but he would still try to talk me into that as well..he took advantage of the fact i was and am still to a degree very naive..

isabeau6

[Warbaby1943]

well for one thing he was my very first online Master..and he said i had no rights..i would try to argue that point with him, only to get punished..i was an object to him..a pet if you will...and remember i was horribly new..as i learned i would try and tell him the rules..he said rules weren't for him and myself.. i don't know if he cared for me or not..he never allowed me to show my personality to him..i balked at beastiality however and water sports..but he would still try to talk me into that as well..he took advantage of the fact i was and am still to a degree very naive..

isabeau6I hope you know I was not criticizing you, I was just stating how I look at things and what I have learned in my time here. You do have rights always as far as I would be concerned and your safety should be of utmost importance to any Dom worth his salt; IMO.

Hopefully you know to run from any such person in the future unless you want to give up all your rights and that is for you to decide. Otherwise good communication and a declaration of boundaries not to be crossed is a great idea. As you grow to trust someone those boundaries can at any time be expanded but do keep your safety in mind. Just my opinion again.

[isabeau6]

I hope you know I was not criticizing you, I was just stating how I look at things and what I have learned in my time here. You do have rights always as far as I would be concerned and your safety should be of utmost importance to any Dom worth his salt; IMO.

Hopefully you know to run from any such person in the future unless you want to give up all your rights and that is for you to decide. Otherwise good communication and a declaration of boundaries not to be crossed is a great idea. As you grow to trust someone those boundaries can at any time be expanded but do keep your safety in mind. Just my opinion again.

o no i didn't think you were criticizing me at all..i realize now that he was not a Dom of any shape or form..and yet he told me he had owned real life slaves..and was looking for me to become one next..also bragged that he sent his last slave off to marry or something, her career interfered and she married and moved away..but would call him and say he still was the best at sex....yea right...

i will keep my safety in mind thank you..and i have learned that of course i have rights...even as a slave i have rights..and respect also..which he was never showing me..thanks for your opinion....i can use all the help i can get...i do believe the Master i have now is a true Dom...

isabeau6

[MajesticFae]

*starts to sing Supercalafrag.......................then thinks heck I can't spell it so I can't be Mary Poppins!!

tessa - you are very sweet - but no way am I perfect, just always want to be the best I can be especially where one certain person is concerned ~sighs and drifts off into her dream world~

love minxy xx


Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious... can I be Mary Poppins?

[Ozme52]

it's not cheating if you tell on yourself. and i ALWAYS tell on myself! ~grumbles~


That depends on intent hellish. I don't think cheating is about failure, it's about not trying. If the sub agrees to accept or try a task but knows he/she really didn't intend to try, then he/she cheats themself and their dom, regardless of the eventual confession.

Anticipation of you completing an assignment is part and parcel of a Dom/me's enjoyment. Continued failure to complete such tasks cheats the Dom/me who comes to expect nothing more than the upcoming confession.

[~hellish one~]

~tugs on the great Oz's shirt sleeve and points him to my previous post~ pssst...i said the same thing. lol



the reason it's not cheating to me is because i never go into a task with the intention of cheating and trying to get away with it. if i am given a task and am unable to do it or screw it up, yeah i fucked up, but i'm not going to cheat and try to hide that mistake from him. i confess and tell him what happened...therefore it is not cheating. it's all about intent in my opinion.

if you are given a task and make a clear conscious decision.."no, i'm not going to do that and i'll just lie about doing it" then hell yeah that's cheating. hands down.

[Rhabbi]

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious... can I be Mary Poppins?


You mean you are not?

*wonders how Mary Poppins got onto a thread about cheating? Maybe the sugar thing?*

[moptop]

I'm so pleased this has sparked so much feed back!

My definition of cheating is not doing what you were tasked to do, and pretending you did.

If you don't do it, and you confess - then you failed but you didn't cheat. If you fail without a good reason... (and there can be good reasons, which I'm sure any good dom would understand and accept graciously) - but if you fail without a good reason... you have to be ready to take the consequences.

Like hellish and others, I find myself quite incapable of not telling him - well, everything. So I can't cheat, even when I want to. I can only fail, sometimes miserably - or, of course, succeed, sometimes wonderfully.

(Just an addendum - I absolutely do NOT consider what isabeau6 did to be cheating, because I do not consider that their partner at the time was a real dom. - the 'rules' didn't apply)

[want2lurn]

Hey moptop!

Didn't know you partied over here.
I just DO drive by shootings. Hit and run.
Had to shoot my mouth off about the 'black eye'
recently given to 'dis' place and saw your poll.

Never one to pass up a chance at a sexy 'pole' dance,
here's my TAKE on cheatin'.

Do i cheat? No, NEVer, but i'll damn well DO ass i please in
making appropriate changes to make the task POSSIBLE
in the first place. Ass much ass i like peeplay i don't
like to PEEtend at all!

Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck!
or
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!

Works for ME :):):) A birds-eye view at FLIPpancy :)

Ya gotta love it!
Cathy

[Ozme52]

~tugs on the great Oz's shirt sleeve and points him to my previous post~ pssst...i said the same thing. lol

Yeah, I saw that later. I reply to 'em as I see them. :wave:

[tessa]

i had one online Master who ordered me to go walk in the park and pick up a stranger and bring him/her back for a blowjob if a male..and some sort of sex if a female..and allowing them to tie me up..i was like uh sure..i'll do that

That just made me laugh, the way you said that. You might have been new and naive, but you were one smart cookie. And getting smarter by the day, it seems. :)

Speaking of cookies, I think you would make an excellent Mary Poppins, Fae. As long as you bring cookies? Please?

This is such an interesting read, moptop. Thanks!

tessa :wave:

[MajesticFae]

Speaking of cookies, I think you would make an excellent Mary Poppins, Fae. As long as you bring cookies? Please?




Lol. She didn't make cookies! She brought spoonfuls of sugar and medicine and carpet bags! Oh and jumping into chalk drawings on the side walk. Man, I need to watch that movie again. *Goes and digs out my VHS*

[Rhabbi]

Lol. She didn't make cookies! She brought spoonfuls of sugar and medicine and carpet bags! Oh and jumping into chalk drawings on the side walk. Man, I need to watch that movie again. *Goes and digs out my VHS*

Actually, if you read the books you will see that Disney took some artistic liberties, but I vote for cookies with tessa.

[Dorkalicious]

I cheat when I can....

I think it's because if I can cheat, then something isn't quite right. That he doesn't have the power over me that I wish he had.


Of course I'm just "sneaky" like that, and kinda hope to get caught ;)
(Perhaps that means that the punishments aren't right? Who knows...)


Until I can find that one that doesn't make me want to cheat, I guess I will continue doing so.


I have weird values I suppose. Or perhaps a skewed perspective on how a D/s relationship should be. :)

[Mishka]

It might have to due with this stage in your life. I don't know you well enough to know how conservative or reserved or not you are, but you're young. I don't mean that as an old lady trying to patronize you. (for the record 35 isn't old) 19 is starting out in independence, or more of it. It's a time to discover yourself. Too much power over you at this point might leave you outright rebelling and not just cheating on tasks. Too little and you can't respect him the way you think you should or would want to.

Just sleepy brain wanderings

[jiggy]

This is for the on-line subs, really. No, I don't mean are you unfaithful - although that's another one that could be asked! - I mean, do you cheat on the tasks you're given to do, outside of your Master's/Mistress's supervision? Because it's easy enough to do. How good are you?

I am personally extremely tempted to cheat right now. In fact, I'm posting this to put off the awful moment when I have to do my nightly tasks. This is, 10 minutes position practice, followed by masturbating to edge. Alternate nights, do vaginal muscle practice instead of masturbating.

I've been doing this for some time now... whenever he can't join me - which is rather a lot at the moment - that is the routine. And I'm bored to hell with it.

So - all I have to do is take the position long enough to take a piccy (always provide proof...); get a toy out and take another piccy (because I don't even want to play tonight); and write up something imaginative to add to my journal.

So easy to do!

I don't think I will, but... do you?

It sounds like u need a new Dom to show you the real purpose of domination. PM me your details and i will review your resume to see if you fit my criteria. Also a pic too.

[Dorkalicious]

It might have to due with this stage in your life. I don't know you well enough to know how conservative or reserved or not you are, but you're young. I don't mean that as an old lady trying to patronize you. (for the record 35 isn't old) 19 is starting out in independence, or more of it. It's a time to discover yourself. Too much power over you at this point might leave you outright rebelling and not just cheating on tasks. Too little and you can't respect him the way you think you should or would want to.

Just sleepy brain wanderings

I hope 35 isn't considered old! lol. :)


I think you are right. I have been taking on a major life switch lately, where I am becoming more and more independent. I still yearn for that one to take utter control over me, and just take me to the edge...but it sounds like I am looking for something that can only be found in a lemon story or a romance novel.

Ah well...

[cadence]

I hope that 35 isn't considered old!! :) I have enough of my mother telling me that after 40, it's all down hill from there.


And don't worry Dorkalicious, in due time you will find someone with whom you click with, while still being able to keep your independence.

[Dorkalicious]

I hope that 35 isn't considered old!! :) I have enough of my mother telling me that after 40, it's all down hill from there.


And don't worry Dorkalicious, in due time you will find someone with whom you click with, while still being able to keep your independence.

Thank you :) I hope that you are right.