Subspace.

[Selash]

Now.. I'm sure there are other threads on this topic. But I wanted to start anew... I just latly started learning about subspace and reading up on it.. and then experienced it when it happened to someone I care about ALOT!.... It scared me... I didnt really know how to handle it, being O/l and not able to hold her like I wanted and comfort her like I know I should...

Soo... To all you wonderful Dom/mes and subbies out there... Do you guy and gals have any advice on how to work out of "subspace" and back to normal?


(By the way, I was able to help my "special someone" back out, but I would LOVE any advice anyone could give.)

[cadence]

I am curious to know as well, since I have not come across many things pertaining to online subspace.
I get confused as well between the subspace and subdrop.
Subspace I can handle, and can get feelings of overwhelming euphoria, but with my situation, I am left alone with it, and eventually I am left with subdrop that may occur right away or days later. I get into a horrible funk.

I have since learned that a proper mindset of the sub is good to have, with proper diet, and exercise, subspace and drop can be dealt with better.

After any play online, setting aside some time to discuss feelings or even just talking about anything would probably help the sub come back down easier.

Even immediately afterwards, sending short reasurring notes, and continuing to do so even days later would probably be helpful.

I am only going by my own experiences on thiis.

[Eponine]

I think Cadence has some good ideas for subspace in an online relationship...

I have never myself had an online relationship, so I can only speak to coming out of subspace when in the flesh.

Selash, I can tell you only what I know I crave and how I feel...

I don't even know when it's happening... then suddenly everything is over... and I don't even know how I may have gotten from the floor to the bed or vice versa... it is a confusing time, but it still feels good to me...

Afterwards, it feels so perfect to just lie still in the arms of the one who brought me there, cuddling together...

Maybe for an online relationship... she could be ready with her coziest blanket and the coziest space in her house... then after everything is over, she can wrap herself up while you talk lovingly to her on the phone, prefereably, i would think... then she can take a little rest knowing you're there with her (virtually).. at least by voice.

Just a thought as I began using my imagination...

Good luck.. would like to hear your new experiences... see you in chat! :)

[Selash]

Thank you very much Ep. I am always looking to learn about everyone experiance. Be it O/l or R/l or anything else.

[Clevernick]

Not advice but a newcomer's experience.

I had the privilege of watching an unusual scene between two people who really liked each other and knew what they were doing, at a fetish club recently.

(For those who like details: sub was sitting in a swing made of ropes and bindings, feet touching ground but not all the way, arms and legs free -- Dom was using riding crop on her but having to work for it -- she gave back with hands and feet nearly as good as she was getting, and gave away nothing for free. Occasional breaks for long hugs.)

About an hour later I chanced upon them both standing talking quietly, and introduced myself. She was evidently still elsewhere, and was unwilling/unable to speak much. She kept zoning out and talking to him as if I weren't there.

I assumed she was just unfriendly or didn't want me around, or was not pleased to meet me.

But at a munch a week later, same sub waved gaily to me and chatted as if we were old friends. I think she'd been in deep subspace the first time, and she sort of confirmed that by email later.

[Selash]

Wow Nick, thats a new one to me.

But at least she came out of it ok.

[Aussiegirl1]

Interesting thread.

I am in an online relationship with Warbaby and tonight I am sure he pushed me into subspace, or at least as close as I have gotten to it anyway! For this past week we have been playing around with me begging to be spanked a number of times to be allowed to cum! The fact that I am not a great lover of pain, made this a very submissive feeling for me. Earlier in the week, I got a bit teary and we stopped our play, but later WB wondered that if he had pushed me a bit more, what might have happened!

Well tonight he did just that, and by the last 20 spanks, I went into what seemed to be a different emotional state. After our play, I had some tears, and when he asked how I was feeling, I had to say there was no one emotion I could name. I just felt all emotional but also a bit blank, as strange as that might sound.

The most important thing to me, was that he talked to me, checked how I was feeling and didn't leave until I was able to tell him I was feeling better. Once he could see me smiling, he felt better about going too.

I am now all tucked up in bed, about to go to sleep, so the idea of having a warm blanket to cuddle up in is a great idea too. I really think any kind of reassurance is what any sub needs after a being in subspace, or even just after any session. I am lucky, I get that all the time, so had no doubt he would look after me tonight too.

I too look forward to hearing of other experiences!

[Rhabbi]

OK

The hardest part about dealing with subspace online is recognizing it. Watch for different patterns in responses, and keep talking. Communication is the only real tool avaialble in cyber, so use it. Make her responde to you and go slow. Ask how she is doing often. I know this can sometimes break the flow of play, but that is better than the other potential consequences. There are a few threads a bout aftercare, and that applies online. Try to always do this. I realize it ios sometim,es impossible, but when you are going to play, carve out extra time for tha aftercare. This can take as long as the play, sometimes longer. Above all, communicate.

[Warbaby1943]

Interesting thread.

I am in an online relationship with Warbaby and tonight I am sure he pushed me into subspace, or at least as close as I have gotten to it anyway! For this past week we have been playing around with me begging to be spanked a number of times to be allowed to cum! The fact that I am not a great lover of pain, made this a very submissive feeling for me. Earlier in the week, I got a bit teary and we stopped our play, but later WB wondered that if he had pushed me a bit more, what might have happened!

Well tonight he did just that, and by the last 20 spanks, I went into what seemed to be a different emotional state. After our play, I had some tears, and when he asked how I was feeling, I had to say there was no one emotion I could name. I just felt all emotional but also a bit blank, as strange as that might sound.

The most important thing to me, was that he talked to me, checked how I was feeling and didn't leave until I was able to tell him I was feeling better. Once he could see me smiling, he felt better about going too.

I am now all tucked up in bed, about to go to sleep, so the idea of having a warm blanket to cuddle up in is a great idea too. I really think any kind of reassurance is what any sub needs after a being in subspace, or even just after any session. I am lucky, I get that all the time, so had no doubt he would look after me tonight too.

I too look forward to hearing of other experiences!Honey whatever it was it was another great experience to share. So happy it was with you.

[Selash]

Aww... Warbaby and Aussie.. You guys are cute... And thanks for sharing your experiance.

[MajesticFae]

Interesting thread.
After our play, I had some tears, and when he asked how I was feeling, I had to say there was no one emotion I could name. I just felt all emotional but also a bit blank, as strange as that might sound.



That's exactly what I felt.

[Aussiegirl1]

That's exactly what I felt.

Oh it is good to know you felt just that way too, as I am so very new to experiences like this. I am still discovering so many new things and subspace is something I think I have only ever experienced one other time. It is reassuring to know that others have felt the same way, thanks MajesticFae. :p

[Eponine]

Aussiegirl, Fae,

Aussie, yes, you did do a good job describing the feeling afterwards- i do feel "blank" and yet so not blank, i just feel totally out of it... and it is sooo difficult to describe... sometimes i dont' even know what i want myself.. except that comfort is always good...

[Aussiegirl1]

Aussiegirl, Fae,

Aussie, yes, you did do a good job describing the feeling afterwards- i do feel "blank" and yet so not blank, i just feel totally out of it... and it is sooo difficult to describe... sometimes i dont' even know what i want myself.. except that comfort is always good...

Thanks Eponine. Again it is good to know others have felt the same way. :)

You are so right about it being hard to describe and about the comfort. It is an amazing feeling though! :p

[gagged_Louise]

We're used to knowing our "normal selves" so you do take it for granted that your person is, like, transparent to yourself, that my normal thinking, feeling me is one with me. That makes it disconcerting and weird when you face that it isn't just so simple.

I recall one time, years ago, when I was tossed into something that was - not subspace, because it wasn't a bdsm thing, but a similar feel of "waking up on the other side of yourself". I'd been out inter-railing for two weeks - around on the glorious European rail pass - and one night I'd passed the border into Germany and arrived, alone for a few days, at Trier, an amazing city with Roman ruins and buildings I wanted to see. Too late to get a hotel, plus I didn't really know where to find 'em and was a little short of money.
It was early November and I decided to spend two nights on a sideways rebuilding lot, the day en between taking a look at this city that I really wanted to see. The second night, around midnight I arrived at this chosen spot :) and I was a bit more tired and hungry than it seemed nice to admit to myself, but in spite of the unusual situation I managed to get some sleep.

Then after a few hours, I woke up, and I had almost no idea where this place was. My watch had stopped, I didn't know the time. I knew the name of the city, but I'd lost all sense of direction. I got up and looked at the houses: didn't recognize them. Looked at the bushes and greens along the street: they seemed animate, alive and frightening. I suddenly thought some crooks were after me, my mind raced and read signs into what i saw around me - it was all totally irrational, like waking up and hearing the animals talk, like your rational mind has been lifted off you.

After maybe fifteen minutes I decided to walk down the street and toward the railway station (although it was in the middle of the night) but I had only a vague memory of how to get there, although it was really simple - and no, that wasn't drug-induced in any way. It felt smashed, it was as if something had been lifted out, like having gone through a glass window (by sunrise I had recovered) and looking back, that night must have been in some sense close to the "wiped-clean" feeling that is subspace.

[Sir_Russell]

First sub-space is a wonderful place for most. morgan has expressed fears that I can put her there so quickly and that it lasts after the acts are done. She loves it there tells me how wonderful peaceful and stress free. The good news is that it becomes easier to access each time and that it goes away on its own.

It is what I love about the life is finding someone that I can do this to. morgan has the trust in me that allows her go to never land (my verision of sub-space) by a touch of my hand to her throat, the feel of my cuffs and chains on her body. The trick is that when she is there she will do almost anything for me, putting me in the position that I have to know when our play has become too intense and may harm her or have her very sore for days.

[Aussiegirl1]

I am curious about something. I seem to have two stages I go through during play. The first is a feeling of submission, which I get into easier as time goes by. The second is an intense feeling involving tears, which I have assumed is subspace.

What I am curious about is how far WB can push me when I am in this state? Has anyone been pushed through the tears into the kind of subspace that Sir Russell talked about?

[TeddyBearGaySlave]

It is strongly believed that "sub space" is kind of emergency shot down of the mind when to many/to strong signals are send by the body to the braing and to avoid mental burnout (which could be devasting. hangover time 5 )

I hate me for forgetting where I read that rather long article >.<