stress and BDSM

[TomOfSweden]

A while back me and my slave went through a period of about a month when both of us worked an extreme amount. We just crashed in bed to get a couple of hours sleep before shooting off in the morning. Sex was mostly about giving her an orgasm, (it makes her happier and cope with life better).

We had very little trouble as in arguments, but we did skimp on the Master/slave bit, which both of us disliked. We just didn't have time for anything more advanced.

So here's the question: What do you do when both of you are full time proffesionals and time is short, and you want to keep it as a Master/slave relationship? If she doesn't physically serve me, and do slavy things for me, then it just felt like we where vanilla. And we badly need a little humiliation to keep us going in life.

Any suggestion for non time and energy consuming submission/humiliation things to do?

Thanks in advance
-Tom

[MajesticFae]

"I don't need BDSM..." is what I answered, but that's not true by any means. None of the other answers really fit me.

I could live completely vanilla and be happy. However, I choose not to because I greatly enjoy this lifestyle and am learning so much. Life without BDSM isn't boring but bearabe, it can still be exciting and fabulous.

I choose BDSM, I don't need it. Well, I don't "need" it as of yet. I'm sure if I continue down this path I've set for myself that choice will become a need.

[TomOfSweden]

"I don't need BDSM..." is what I answered, but that's not true by any means. None of the other answers really fit me.

I could live completely vanilla and be happy. However, I choose not to because I greatly enjoy this lifestyle and am learning so much. Life without BDSM isn't boring but bearabe, it can still be exciting and fabulous.

I choose BDSM, I don't need it. Well, I don't "need" it as of yet. I'm sure if I continue down this path I've set for myself that choice will become a need.

hm... adding a poll for fun may have defeated the point of this thread. A shame.

[MajesticFae]

Any suggestion for non time and energy consuming submission/humiliation things to do?
-Tom

1. Have her go without undies where she works
2. Have her write things on her breasts about how she is owned/loved/a slut... or however y'all play and go out in public with that under her clothes.
3. Have her kneel at your feet when eating dinner or relaxing on the couch...
4. Have her sleep in some form of restraints that are easily removed in case of an emergency
5. Have her simply refer to you as Master/Sir/Etc around the house and during phone calls.

[TomOfSweden]

1. Have her go without undies where she works
2. Have her write things on her breasts about how she is owned/loved/a slut... or however y'all play and go out in public with that under her clothes.


Thanks. Those are good.



3. Have her kneel at your feet when eating dinner or relaxing on the couch...
4. Have her sleep in some form of restraints that are easily removed in case of an emergency

These where actually among those we skipped due to lack of time



5. Have her simply refer to you as Master/Sir/Etc around the house and during phone calls.

Off-course always. naturaly. Couldn't live without it. What Master could. I would wither away and die in a second.

[isabeau6]

i didn't know what to answer either..so i chose the second...however i do live without it in my real life...but if given a choice i sure as hell wouldn't...why o why did i not know about this back when i was younger???? why??? lol...

[Rhabbi]

I would add that having her keep trach of everything is a big help. What helped solidify my relationship with Mishka was adding one simple thjing to her life, a spreadsheet whre she can post the various things she does on a daily basis. this allows me to keep track that they are done, and to offer suggestions when she falls behind. It gives us both a connection in her busy life that keeps it happening.

[Flaming_Redhead]

I read a story here with a wonderful idea, but I'll be damned if I can remember the name of it. Anyway, put her on panty patrol. Give her a certain number of days/weeks that she must go commando at all times, and make sure to "check" her frequently to make sure she's not cheating, i.e. random mornings before work or in the evenings after work as soon as she gets home or while doing chores. Let's see...um...you could have her masturbate to the edge of orgasm every time she goes to the bathroom, whether at work or at home, but not actually let her until....whenever. Oooo....since the sex has been to just give her an orgasm....maybe when it slows down a bit, you could have her suck you off or jerk you off so it will mostly be just to give YOU an orgasm. *weg*

[TomOfSweden]

I would add that having her keep trach of everything is a big help. What helped solidify my relationship with Mishka was adding one simple thjing to her life, a spreadsheet whre she can post the various things she does on a daily basis. this allows me to keep track that they are done, and to offer suggestions when she falls behind. It gives us both a connection in her busy life that keeps it happening.

Well, we meet all the time and we have contact over sms, so that isn't the problem. Only that we have much too few minutes in each hour, and too few hours in each day. Writing takes time.

[Rhabbi]

Well, we meet all the time and we have contact over sms, so that isn't the problem. Only that we have much too few minutes in each hour, and too few hours in each day. Writing takes time.

Yes it does. That is why even the little things count for U/us. there are days our schedules simply do not mesh. In fact, this whole week has been like that. But I know W/we are stiloll connected because she takes a few minutes each day to keep up with her tasks for me.

[annie]

I read a story here with a wonderful idea, but I'll be damned if I can remember the name of it. Anyway, put her on panty patrol.

Red... the story i think you are referring too is Clevenick's. The first chapter is posted in the story section. The second chapter, Obnoxious Hosuemante 2 - Panty Patrol (http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9923), is posted in the forums. A few additional chapters are also posted on the forums. All very well written!

[KoTe]

I don`t see why shouldn`t you keep the master/slave attitude without her playing fetch, or having golden showers (metaphorically). My master and I have never had trully vanilla attitude. Even when we don`t have time we still feel each other`s roles in the relationship. Once we decided to try a vanilla, just to see how was it. It didn`t work... :D It had BDSM elements.