Advice Required

[Slave_Poodle]

Hi Everybody,

I new to this forum and faily new to the lifestylke.
In the past six months it's gone from simple playing in the bedroom with my partner too domestic slave. My Master (my partner) and I signed a standard simple contract (found on web and we are currenlty editing to suit our needs) on the 01/02/04 and he gave me my name Poodle.

The Saturday before I recived a server punishment of a cat of nine, a cane & the strap. This lasted about 30min with him alternating between the three methods and he was not light handed from the start, he was very disopointed in me and had been saving my punishments up for me as due to my daily kob I had not had the time to tidy the punishment room so no punishmemnts were issued.

We do all activities in a dimmly lite enviroment, so when the lights were turned up half way through my punishment as my master needed to leave the room he noticed something and would not tell. He broke down and cryed infront of me tied the way I was there was nothing I could do. I calmed him down and got him to release me comforrted him and then he told me that he has drew blood and that my backside was a mess and he was ever so sorry. We took pics of it with the digital cam so I could see as far as I was concerned it was fine but he was upset.

My bum was really sore and still is in places the colouring has started to faid. Has anyone got any suggestions to getting the sweling and the brusing down quicker as it has affected my daily life as regards to appointments etc... for when this happens again as it trully will as I told my master that that was the first time he has punished me to the extent that I felt that it was real and not just a game.

Please Help
Slave_Poodle

Note from moderator: Not changing your message, just making your colors and font style work.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

What your master seems to be experiencing is a form of "Dom Drop." It's not serious, although it is worrisome.

Some dominants, upon seeing what they've actually done to their submissives, feel deeply remorseful and become very emotional and even depressed over it. It is a perfectly normal condition, but one which requires a little TLC to overcome.

What you did was probably the best thing for him at the time. Just let him know that you are fine and that the situation was not nearly as bad as it looked.

[slavelucy]

Hi Slave_Poodle

Sorry to hear about your recent experience....D/s relationships can be tricky sometimes, in terms of the feelings between the participants (love, respect, caring etc) juxtaposed, at times, with some fairly 'harsh' treatment...this is bound to cause some fleeting moments of 'god, what have I done??'. Whilst this may be disturbing for both you and your Master when it happens; providing he gets over it, it is actually, IMHO not an entirely bad thing as it demonstrates some level of humanity and regard for you. Naturally however, i can understand that it must have been very distressing for both you and him and in that regard i would concur with TG in that all you can do is offer him reassurance that you are okay, both physically and emotionally speaking.

On an entirely pratical note, in terms of your quite severe bruising, i can strongly recommend a homeopathic remedy called 'arnica' (you should be able to get it at most decent pharmacists)....it is available in both cream and tablet form.

Hope this helps. :)

lucy

[woodsman'sgame]

I can't add much more to what has already been said except to reassure you that you are not alone. What happened to you and your Dom happens to a lot of first timers. Woodsman and I have been there. It is difficult to gauge how hard to hit and the effects the blows will produce. With practice he will learn. Both of you need to take this as a learning experience and go on. Don't let it stop you, just let it slow you down a little and proceed with care.

[Curtis]

Arnica is good. If you want something more commercial, I swear by aloe and lanolin lotion. Unfortunately, the brands available across the pond are likely to be different, but a well-stocked pharmacy probably sells more than one. If possible, get one with vitamin E, also, but that's less important.

[slavelucy]

Originally posted by Curtis
Arnica is good. If you want something more commercial, I swear by aloe and lanolin lotion

Oh yes, can't believe i forgot that! Aloe is a fantastic healer for the skin.....the purer the content the better.....there is one i use called 'Roberts', it's actually imported from the US i think, but any decent one should do. Or, even better, buy an Aloe Vera plant, pull some off, cut it open and apply it to the skin...it works miracles, truely! :)

sl

[Spitman]

Another traditional treatment for bruising is Witchhazel.

For where the skin is broken, my favourite is Cicatrin, which you can purchase through the internet. I prefer the cream but you can also get it as a powder, which is used in UK hospitals. It contains ingredients which can help wounds to heal fast, and may reduce scarring. I am not a doctor, and this is not professional medical advice! Nor do I have any relationship with the manufacturer, Glaxo Smith Kline.

You can order Cicatrin through the internet.

[NightDaughter]

One thing that I found for cuts etc that works for many people is liquid vitamin E (i normaly get the capasles and cut them open to apply it directly to the wound, works wonders)

take care,

[allalone46]

Your master(partner) did soomething varry wrong when he punished you. Not that he punished you, but he let his anger get in the way. he fogot or didn't know SAFE, SANE, CONSENTULE. every thing done folows these three things. If you put anger into the mix than it is never and I meen never safe and that includes punishment. The drowing of blood, and the bruising for a vary long time is an indicater. Unless you bruise varry easly it shood not last more than several hrs to a varry few days, but nothing that shood make a problem with you vanila life. He needs to step back and take stock in what he is going to do before he punishis you again, and you will do somthing again that will require pnishment, weather bay accedent or on purpuse, you will. But he needs to not let anger into the mix. Anger is never to be part of play, or disaplin, or punishment when that happens the Master isn't thinking he is reacting, and when doing anything that can harm a slave you need to be thinking. A Master always keeps his slaves safty first, everything else second, and that includes hes and the slaves pleasher, and pain. Once is a accedent twice is abuse. He may not have ment it and let himself go to far or he got away from him self,that is why once is a accedent. Keep it safe, and sane, and consentual and even the puishment will be pleasher to both of you.

[Kibbick]

I have to disagree with you, allalone46, for a number of reasons. First, your statement that “he let his anger get in the way” seems to be unsupported by slave_poodle’s post. It appears to me from her post that he was in control, and only made a mistake. Second, I feel that you are too harsh on an inexperienced relationship. We all make mistakes and if this is the worst he makes, he will have done very well. Third, you seem to be imposing limits on another’s relationship. Granted, slave_poodle’s partner made a mistake, but it is up to him and slave_poodle to decide the degree of the error. It sounds to me that they both were accepting of a beating and that he only went a little too far. Your disagreement with drawing blood seems to be from a personal position rather then from an open-minded regard on another’s relationship. I, for one, have seen much greater punishments in healthy and active BDSM relationships. You repeatedly cite “Safe, Sane and Consensual,” although it seems to me that this relationship follows these guidelines. Blood is not dangerous as long as one cleans and disinfects the wounds, this was obviously consensual, and appears to have been done with level heads. My recommendation for slave_poodle would be to reassure her partner, perhaps slow down a little bit, but not to stop. It is a little like falling off a horse; the best thing to do is to get right back on again.

[Jones, Nikka]

...for when this happens again as it trully will as I told my master that that was the first time he has punished me to the extent that I felt that it was real and not just a game.


I am in full agreement with the opinions and advice posted by BDSM_Tourguide, slavelucy, woodman'sgame and kibbick. It is all a learning experience. Also, based on the facts as described in Slave_Poodle's original post, the incident appears to have been an honest mistake, with no hint of abuse.

On the other hand, Slave_Poodle, you may want to ask yourself the following questions:
Do you want your next punishments to be real or just a game?
Which punishments do you feel should be more severe: the fun-I-love-you-beatings or the you-really-screwed-up-this-time floggings?
Why do you want to be punished at all?
Do you really think it is OK to be flogged beyond your limit just because is "Punishment"?
Did you really go beyond your limit this last time?

Now that I think about it, your owner should also go through those questions. I am sure you will both learn from the resulting dialog and will enjoy yourselves even more as you experience more of this lifestyle.