View Full Version : Ever cursed your sexuality?
TeddyBearGaySlave
06-23-2007, 10:58 AM
Today I am extremely frustrated about being gay.
They say about 10% of people are gay. I can only think of chubby, cute, hairy guys as sexy (really, I have no interest in anyone else. Like for exampel Keanu Reeves or whatever, they are sexually as intersting to me as women, they dont tingle any sense whatsoever. Only if they have a certain cuddly cubbish cuteness to them I get horny. But then I get horny as hell lol.)
So I am just able to find a extremely small amount of people sexually interesting. Then they also have to like people like me and they need to be interested in domming me, as that is really important for me.
Sometimes I curse that, for example today I had to work 10 hours with that awsome, cute, chubby, hairy, bearded, funny guy. Big arms, big belly, big tits *melts away*. Just so sad and frustrating.
Anyone else had thoughts about that?
Eponine
06-23-2007, 11:30 AM
No.. can't say i have, but... i understand, obviously, about having an out-of-the-norm sexuality... so i can imagine your frustration in that situation.
And actually, I thank God everyday that I am _not_ vanilla! lol.. seriously... who could live like that?? lol
Sir_Russell
06-23-2007, 11:40 AM
TeddyBearGaySlave
Use the internet, there are sites that do specialize in gay men dating.
As far as why we respond to certain physical types all I can say is that most of do have that specific body type(s) that we respond too at a level that is thought free. Mine are little women.
I found morgan by searching AFF for someone that speaks to my mind not my body. She is too tall, has these large breasts, and the list goes on, but even though she is not the physical type I am drawn to, I am very in love with her. This type of search may open you up to other men or it may not work at all for you.
ElectricBadger
06-23-2007, 10:46 PM
Having particular tastes is frustrating at times, but I personally also find it comforting in a way...I believe in fate, and if there is just that one particular person for you...at least you already know so much of what that person is!
Good luck finding your Mr. Right, and remember for the time being to enjoy a couple Mr. Wrongs along the way just for fun.
snowflake
06-24-2007, 01:42 PM
i can understand a bit but not completely teddybear.. It has to be frustratiing..
But i think that Sir_Russell and ElectricBadger are steering you in the right direction..
You may be attraced to one certain type of man.. but unfortunately we don't always get perfection..
Maybe try Mr. Wrong physically.. you never know, a bond may build between you... looks are not always everything.. but even if a bond does not come out of it, you may have some fun and find some relief from some of your frustrations..
just a suggestion
hugs
snowflake
Rhabbi
06-24-2007, 02:32 PM
I seem to have the opposite problem, i can find anyone sexy. Try that if you want to have a hard time someday.
moptop
06-24-2007, 05:00 PM
I like tall men - I'm 5'4", my tallest partner was 6'8", that was a bit OTT, lol, but certainly I like men over 6'. However, my current man is certainly not that tall, and I have had very intense relationships with others who did not meet my 'standards', as it were - they just clicked as people.
I have to say, though, that I do not believe I could ever be attracted to anyone who wasn't at least a bit taller than me. Gotta be a few inches. Or it just doesn't work.
gloombunny
06-24-2007, 06:42 PM
I too like being with someone who's taller than me.
Unfortunately, I'm 6'3".
Clevernick
06-24-2007, 07:29 PM
I too like being with someone who's taller than me.
Unfortunately, I'm 6'3".
Natalie and TeddyBear do have it hard, and I empathize.
I too have a physical type, though it's a lot broader than either of yours. And women outside it don't really do much for me either.
But they also have to be smart, and cheerful, and bratty, and submissive.
None of this is all that hard. But when you narrow it down to those willing to be with a Poly, married man, the pickings get very slim indeed.
It may be a long long time before I stick anyone's name in my signature. You're all very lucky.
P.S. Natalie -- I'm 6'3 as well. Maybe if I wore shoes... :-P
TeddyBearGaySlave
06-24-2007, 11:08 PM
It's not that I think that slim men are less sexy then chubby ones. It is that I cannot even a little bit seeing anything erotic in them, they are not at all sexy for me. My slim friends I do not desire at all, for me there are like women: Nice people to hang out with, having a fun time and more but I would never ever get a hard one them because of them, or would never have a phantasie with them. Where I think that most men who love tall women with brown hair could also think one small woman with red hair is hot/loveable.
I was very confused when I was younger because of that, lol. Was strange to find out/accept what I am into. (Thank you my chubby german teacher, hehe)
Widget
06-25-2007, 01:37 AM
hahah teddy I have a gay kinky friend who is chubby and if you were in Canada I would so send you his way...message me if you want me to pass on contact info such as msn for chat purposes however hehe as he has the same complaints..
jeanne
06-25-2007, 06:01 AM
My type - tall, dark hair, slim, with long lean muscles - I ended up marrying one and now he's gray-haired, but in my mind, his hair is still dark brown. :)
Good luck finding your Mr. Right, and remember for the time being to enjoy a couple Mr. Wrongs along the way just for fun.
Amen!
coookie
06-25-2007, 08:22 AM
I seem to have the opposite problem, i can find anyone sexy. Try that if you want to have a hard time someday.
I agree Rhabbi ...i find everyone sexy one way or another which can get frustrating.
Clevernick
06-25-2007, 12:35 PM
TeddyBear -- you're not alone I think.
In the Toronto Gay Pride Parade there is often a float by some "Gay Bears" group, consisting entirely of large chubby hairy men, all very proud of who they are.
I wouldn't be surprised if you could join your local "Gay Bears" group and find lots of guys just like you.
Mishka
06-25-2007, 08:01 PM
TeddyBear -- you're not alone I think.
In the Toronto Gay Pride Parade there is often a float by some "Gay Bears" group, consisting entirely of large chubby hairy men, all very proud of who they are.
I wouldn't be surprised if you could join your local "Gay Bears" group and find lots of guys just like you.
Something for everyone if you just search long enough.
I, too, find sexiness in most people. (chubby hairy types get a second look from me)
Hope you find that special someone soon. :)
Guest 91108
06-26-2007, 02:41 AM
I seem to have the opposite problem, i can find anyone sexy. Try that if you want to have a hard time someday.
Yes.. it does make a problem when you can be drawn to any and everyone.
I definitely have this. There's only one characteristic that will push me back guranteed...
isabeau6
06-26-2007, 04:35 AM
there is nothing wrong in liking or being attracted to a certain body type..i have a friend from another forum, a female, who only wishes to tickle and Domme over older, heavy taller men...it's all a matter of personal preference..i know i have a dream image of the perfect guy...i've always liked the bad guy image, the biker type..with a few tattoos, muscles, shaved head lately and a goatee... that's just my ideal, doesn't mean that's the only type of guy who could turn me on....my ex Master fit that, but inside he was not my ideal at all..as i found out..
anyway...i digress lol...lots of luck i wish you well in your search..i'll keep my fingers crossed for you..
gloombunny
06-26-2007, 06:57 AM
I sometimes find myself emotionally attracted to someone but can't work up any physical attraction no matter how long I'm with them. Kinda sucks.
I find myself always being attracted to people the longer I know them. Once I get to know them well, it invaritabily happens that I like them. I has resulted in me liking some pretty ugly women. Kinda a downside, I'd say.
But it does provide for a cover for every pot, in a general kind of way.
And it does free some women from always having to depend upon their looks to get a mate. They always say, "I want him to love me for my mind!"
Liking somebody for their personality doesn't sound all that bad to me. Some pretty good "Up" A couple of "outstanding" "Downs."
Masters_lilone
06-29-2007, 04:35 PM
i'm perfectly happy being bi. to me being bi is not a bad thing because it's a part of who i am. and it makes me more understanding of people who are gay or bi or transgendered or lez. the fact that my Master is bi also helps me to really except my bisexuality because with him i can just be myself
briansmine
06-29-2007, 04:56 PM
Big bear hugs, honey. I have my lovely bear(straight, sorry) and I understand. I like big cuddly men myself. 6'7", 300 lbs, I should have him lose weight, but I'm always so half-hearted about it. I like him a bit fluffy.
As to cursing the BDSM portion, I know brian does. Usually when we're on different pages. He's a marshmallow and takes everything to heart, blames himself, etc.
Me, mrs tough girl, tends to have a "get over it" attitude that doesn't always fly.
You are who you are. Navel gazing and wishing you could change things rarely gets you anywhere. Have a bias for PLANNED action.
Good luck, honey, you seem a sweetie, I'm sure you can find someone looking for a good boy.
EAB
For a while I was very unhappy being a Sub because the man I love did not think that he could deal with a BDSM relationship. Luckily, I was right all along (I know, I'm so humble and obedient, right? :D) and when he tried being a Dom he couldn't get enough of it.
Our relationship does have one problem that is related to Teddy's, though: my husband is very attractive and very hairy (not chubby, though -- he has a small but athletic build and a really cute butt), and he is constantly approached by gay men! :p Not that I'm threatened by them (he is very straight), but it's irritating that he's more popular with men than I am!
Nixxi_Chaos
08-13-2008, 11:52 PM
Not really, My only problem is I hate most females so it's difficult for me. I lucked out with my girlfriend though, she's pretty much the same as me (albeit much prettier, lol).. I think chubby girls are uber hot, lol, so I can relate with you a bit, especially when I'm out with my friends (all guys) and they're asking me to rate the anorexic bean-poles and I'm just kind of like "ehh...4? Maybe?"
Awkwardness..
steelish
08-24-2008, 08:33 AM
Actually, for me the frustration lies not in my sexuality or fetishes, but with the rest of the world's view of it. People have a tendency to dismiss or scorn what they are unfamiliar with and I think that is the case with BDSM, homosexuality, bisexuality and anything else that would not be considered "normal" by a majority of people.
I think any hangups or 'curses' that lie in dealing with your own sexuality are brought on by society in general. Just my two cents worth...
Ozme52
08-24-2008, 10:35 AM
I too like being with someone who's taller than me.
Unfortunately, I'm 6'3".
How's that a problem? :rolleyes:
<<== taller
-----------------------------------
T.
Can't say I've ever cursed my sexuality, but I don't have the societal issues you do... nor a narrow body type that interests me.
I won't venture to guess how I'd feel if I was only interested in one type and most of them were disinterested in me.
But it seems to me you just have to take the cards you're dealt and make your best hand. I found that being willing to be rejected, opened far more opportunities than if I'd waited for someone to approach me.
alpha_Straye
08-25-2008, 01:59 PM
It's not that I think that slim men are less sexy then chubby ones. It is that I cannot even a little bit seeing anything erotic in them, they are not at all sexy for me. My slim friends I do not desire at all, for me there are like women: Nice people to hang out with, having a fun time and more but I would never ever get a hard one them because of them, or would never have a phantasie with them. Where I think that most men who love tall women with brown hair could also think one small woman with red hair is hot/loveable.
I was very confused when I was younger because of that, lol. Was strange to find out/accept what I am into. (Thank you my chubby german teacher, hehe)
um... this might seem an odd question but how are you at cooking?
What if you found someone who does it for you in the other ways, took them home and fed them well? That would be unkind if done with someone who would feel bad about themselves if they gained some weight, but some people wouldnt mind having Their slave there delighting them with wonderful meals, even if some pounds crept on. It could become something you do for Him to please Him... and if His appearance just happens to alter to your taste, well you'll just have to suffer through and get Him a second helping *smile*.
Either way, in your position it seems sensible to me to go learn how to be a great cook, if you arent already. Big guys are usually big eaters and one more attraction to add to your list never hurts *smile*.
I too have a physical type, though it's a lot broader than either of yours. And women outside it don't really do much for me either.
But they also have to be smart, and cheerful, and bratty, and submissive.
None of this is all that hard. But when you narrow it down to those willing to be with a Poly, married man, the pickings get very slim indeed.
Not sure what your physical type is, but I made a little :o face when I read the rest of it....
As for the rest of it, sometimes I curse my submissive side because some of my buttons are so easy to push. For instance, I was dancing with a friend at a club a couple of weeks ago, and he started leading me just slightly roughly, pushing a little bit harder than he really had to. And then I did one of those little moves where you bend down into your knees a little bit, and he put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me down onto my knees, and I had one of those little snap moments where you feel totally powerless... and I was like oh fuck I really don't need the extra strain on my willpower right now.
Mostly, though, I curse other people's sexualities. Things would be easier for me if everyone were poly, bi and switch. :D
locopup
09-18-2008, 04:34 AM
Being gay has its ups and downs. Im gay. The only hard part is finding someone I am intrested in a relationship wise into bdsm. Everyone I met is almost 15-25 years older then me which is frustrating. There cant be much going on sexually, but I have done some role play with some pretty cool guys.
But dont let being gay get you down, I am sure there are tons of 'daddy bears' out there for u. There seem to be alot down here. I am not into alot of hair myself.