Child abuse increases during solider's deployment

[annie]

Scanning through the news I found this article concerning child abuse in relation to military families with a family member deployed.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20056362/

Wanted to see what some others thought of it before sharing my opinion on it!

[Rhabbi]

My thought is that the strain on a family of a deployed soldier has always been enormous, but the community used to step in and help. In todays society that does not happen, so mothers, who are often young, are forced to deal with this stress without the benifit of a support group of neighbors and family.

[_ID_]

The community doesn't help anymore because our society has become so acusitory and bound in litigation that we would rather be apathetic than help. No one wants to be accused of hurting someone else's child, you could be labeled a child abuser, or perhaps a sexual predator depending on the accusations. So it's no surprise to me that the mothers are not getting any of that community involvement.

Not sure how many here have deployed into a combat zone in our current military, but we are limited to two 15 minute phone calls per week. If you schedule the time, and your spouse goes to the family center on base you can get a short video conference.

On top of that, the spouses now have to wonder every day if it is their husband or wife who has been killed. It didn't used to be such a roller coaster, at least not since the Vietnam war.

It is just a shame that the children are the ones who get neglected as a result.

[annie]

My husband travels considerably but nothing like he would if he served in the military. i know from just my limited experience that the longer he is gone, the higher the stress level and the better the chances are that my parenting skills suffer.

Bottom line... i get tired and the only person/people to take it out on are the kids. That is by no means right but I know that is what happens...

I can only imagine that multiplied by 1,000 or so for all of the additional stresses that are added into that situation...

[Sir_Russell]

it is a human condition that causes us to react in negative ways when under extreme stress

[zasvig]

being in the military myself ill say that its hard on the ones left behind due to the year+ long deployments. but it gives no one that right to hert a kid since there are suport groups and just about any thang elese they might need to get through that time. i know the stress well since iv been deployed 3 times so far. so im well in the know.

[Alex Bragi]

How very sad.

I agree with Rhabbi, we're becoming less and less community minded. It's kind of ironic, too, when you consider that we live in the "age of communication".

[Austerus]

Ahh but the Age of Communication actually lets us spread out more and more. We no longer need to live within 20 miles of our family to feel the "bonds of family" because they are a mouse click or a speed dial away. So the modern age lets us maintain our emotional bonds over greater distances, but then next thing you know we turn around and we don't have any family support within several hundred miles.

Meanwhile, since we -can- stay in touch so easily with loved ones, we don't -feel- isolated outside of an emergency dituation/tragedy/high stress time. So we don't make that extra effort to get to know the people around us, as we already feel connected and in a community. The weaknesses of the system then make themselves known pretty fiercely when something -does- go wrong and we need that nearby, real support.

[annie]

I would agree with that in many ways Austerus. I know for 5 years I lived in Dallas and NEVER met my neighbors. I never felt the need to. Although, once I moved to a smaller community in VA and had children, after being raised in a very small tight nit farming community, I found it an absolute MUST to have a support circle from somewhere. It has taken about 8 years though for that circle to be established and I have discovered that now that the circle is established I am less likely to go out of it and meet new people, etc. A vicious cycle in a way if I don't stay aware of it!