newbie with questions

[kinky.kristy]

I am just getting into the scene and i have been looking for an online master. i have posted a personal before, but everytime a potential master replies i always come up with a reason to reject the person. I am thinking that is mainly because i know there will be so many replies to it.

But my main question is, How do you know when you are truly ready to be in a d/s relationship? And how would I get myself to chose one master that i would want to keep?

[mysc]

Welcome to the forums kristy!

I don't wanna sound harsh but it's a really difficult question, with no straight answer. A similair question would be "How do I know he is the right one for me, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with". If it feels good it just does.
It's all a matter of love and trust.. and a bit of luck.

As for the first question you must really connect with your feelings and emotions. If you have found a Master (or you can start doing tasks at the Academy) take babysteps. It's not a matter of being ready for the whole package in one step. You have to work towards it. And if something doesn't feel right take a step back.

I think this is all the advice I can give you right now.

[John56{vg}]

I agree with Mysc hon. A lot of people tend to talk of the differences between D/s and other vanilla relationships. I think they go hand in hand. They are more simialr than they are different, in my humble opinion. A lot of people disagree with me, but my opinion is that looking for a master or a sub is looking for a partner.

And, unfortunately, that means there is no easy answer. I have found the forums freeing becasue I can ask so much more about a woman and share more of myself up front with a woman. But ultimately it comes down to hard work, communication and respect for one another.

I know that is confusing and not very helpful, but it takes trial and error. There is a lot of good info here and you are doing the right thing, just ask we are a pretty open bunch here and most of us are gonna try to be kind and helpful in our help.

You can also feel free to PM me or any other mod with questions, I certainly don;t know everything but I will try to find out for you.

Good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for.

John

[MrDom]

well here a suggustion for you find a dominate that might be interesting too you and talk. about how you feel things you want too know don't look for say a Master but someone too talk. Or find a dominate and ask he he would help you and talk to him.There a lot of good Dom's here ask them if they could talk with you.

MrDom

[Aussiegirl1]

Finding an online Master can be hard, but if you are lucky you will get to know some of the people here and a Master will come along when you least expect it. That was how it happened for me, but I know I was very lucky too. The nice part is my Master is also my friend and my love.

Good luck in your search and go with your gut feelings - if it doesn't feel right, it usually isn't.

[Sir_Russell]

kinky.kristy
You have asked the oldest hardest question. We all go through it in our search. The good news is that today with the net it is easier then it was when I started out. 35 years ago I had to study the women I thought might be submissive very carefully and closely, since it was very few people in the life that could let others know. Even when I selected one I had to proceed slowly and carefully with them, teach them while building trust and confidence.

Today there are places like this site and other places where you know to begin with that the other person has an interest in the Life. So place ads, visit chatrooms, when you find a Dom that you are interested in then use private chat rooms, IM and emails to get to know him.

Ask him questions listen very carefully to his answers not just what he says but the subtle things that tell you a lot about that person. Pay close attention to questions he ask but not just so you can answer honestly<very important> and completely but what the actual question says about him. Go slowly.

Any shortcut you may take puts both your physical being at risk but also your emotional self.

Good luck and enjoy the search