View Full Version : "I" vs "your girl"
schoenekitty
08-19-2007, 09:56 AM
I was just wondering what everyone's views were on the usage of "your girl" in place of personal pronouns. My master wants me to do it but I really don't like it and he can't understand why. Maybe other people's opinions will help me to better accept it or him to better understand...
Logic1
08-19-2007, 11:00 AM
If I get you right, he wants you not to use the term "I" but rather "your girl" when you write something here or adresses Him in rl right?
If so then I guess it is a control issue. Good or bad but I think that is what he means.
It is not that uncommon in a Master/slave relationship but for me I dont really feel that micromanaging what my sub calls herself is something I care about.
If he wants you to but you dont then take it up for discussion. It might mean more to you than it does to him or the other way around.
Hard to know since I dont know either you nor your Master/Dom but those are my thoughts nyways.
schoenekitty
08-19-2007, 11:48 AM
well, he likes me to say "your girl" because he sees it as me being proud to be is and as another way to show that im his, but i feel like it discounts everything else that i am. when i use your girl i dont feel like its coming from me
that and its just akward :(
is it something i'll get over?
MrDom
08-19-2007, 01:31 PM
M/s relations are different than D/s. Difference bettwen it are those in the M/s realtion. In a true Master slave it is more control for the Master too restrict speech patterns and that the slave use herself in a sentence as a thrid party when speaking to her Master fr herself. But as always it should be what the submissive and Master talks about and what they want.
In my relatioship with my girl it is something she wants and I want so it consenual. It helps her feel more submissive and closer too me.
MrDom
cariad
08-19-2007, 01:52 PM
I have never been asked not to use the first person, however at times when I feeling deeply submissive I find that, because I am viewing myself from his perspective, I slip into using the third person.
cariad
Flaming_Redhead
08-19-2007, 03:29 PM
I hate slave-speak! It's so unwieldy when trying to make a sentence not using pronouns. I can't stand trying to read it in chat rooms and such. That's just me, though.
Okay, now that my personal opinion is out of the way, we can try to figure out why he wants this. Are you a slave or submissive? It's my understanding that Master/slave relationships are a bit more strict than Dominant/submissive relationships. Not allowing you to refer to yourself in the first person is a way of reinforcing the idea that you are his possession and, therefore, not your own person. This type of training is designed to keep that thought always at the foremost of your mind. If you feel strongly about it, approach him in a respectful manner and try to discuss your feelings openly and honestly.
Rhabbi
08-20-2007, 09:28 AM
To me it should be spontaneous. I know that I am always deeply touched when a sub speaks of herself in that way, but I never try to force the issue. If it is not natural, why would I want it?
Just my opinion there, but I do know of a few Doms who prefer that their subs speak that way. I would talk to him about it, and try to get him to understand that it does not come naturally. Submission is a gift, and him trying to puish you too fast will only push you away.
Sir_Russell
08-21-2007, 06:35 PM
Another facet of this is unknown, IS HE TRAINING YOU NOW, if he is then this may be part of that. Getting the slave to think of herself as owned.
Training in this manner though should have been discussed and agreed upon. Though I may use the technique, and have, I suppose my sense of timing may be better then his.
TomOfSweden
08-21-2007, 11:23 PM
I was just wondering what everyone's views were on the usage of "your girl" in place of personal pronouns. My master wants me to do it but I really don't like it and he can't understand why. Maybe other people's opinions will help me to better accept it or him to better understand...
I'm guessing because it'll be very confusing when your not with your Master?
well, he likes me to say "your girl" because he sees it as me being proud to be is and as another way to show that im his, but i feel like it discounts everything else that i am. when i use your girl i dont feel like its coming from me
that and its just akward :(
is it something i'll get over?
Just my two cents (and I am a pretty unconventional submissive):
If that particular rule makes you feel disrespected in a not-fun way, it isn't something you should "just get used to." At least to me, BDSM is based on trust and respect, and any humiliation that happens serves to remind both partners of one's ownership of the other in a way that makes the submissive feel secure in the relationship and excited by the taboo nature of the words, not to make the submissive feel worthless or unhappy.
It's possible that your Dom likes to play with the idea of dehumanizing you in that way because to him, it is only play and not something that can really happen -- i.e., he sees you as a strong individual who won't really give up your identity, and doesn't realize that it seems more serious to you. Or maybe he thinks that you really want him to see you as *just* his submissive and nothing more. Either way, you should tell him in "time out" (my husband and I call it "amnesty") how you feel and why. A good partner (dom or not) will respect that.
Sir_Russell
08-27-2007, 11:58 AM
I agree with you Hime but I still wonder if it isn't just a training technique to ingrain in her that she is loved and owned. I prefer your slave or Master's slave when training but I explain the why I am ask her to do this and what I believe it will cause. I don't want a weak slave or a doormat but I do want her to understand what she has agreed to.