Anal sex

[bushman]

My mistress will use her strap-on two to three times per week on me. It is 8" long and about 2" wide. We use plenty of lube and go slow at first. She wants to use a bigger strap-on. What I need to know, if we continue this for a long time, will I get too loose and end up with depends when I get older? Could use some direction on this issue.

[-angelstar-]

i dunno. but while we're on a question and answer thing about anal sex. can i add on a question too?

if its the first time having anal sex.... what's the best position to do it from, to minimise the pain or something? if there's any such position in the first place :p

[Curtis]

To respond to -angelstar-, I would recommed doggie style, though some women swear by just lying face down on a bed with a couple of pillows under their tummy. It should definitely be a position in which you can RELAX.

[bushman]

angelstar, my mistress uses the doggie position most of the time, and after going slow for a few minutes, she can penetrate me fully with very little or no pain. Also, with me on my back and legs pulled up to my chest works good also. The most important thing is knowing if you "want" a little pain to go with the event. You should never have pain if it is not wanted.

[-angelstar-]

well, no i dont want pain to go with it if possible :p but that seems highly impossible doesnt it.

well i dunno. he's tried doing it with me doggie style. but usually once he gets a bit of it in... i just squirm away :o which i dont want to, but i keep thinking it'll hurt like hell so i just yeah, escape :o

so yeah that's why i was wondering if there was another way i could do it, without tearing anything inside :p

[bushman]

Yes, Do it in the doggie position, and get good and relaxed.. let your partner use there fingers and tongue to relax you and loosen you up a bit... Then, with the head of his cock pressing against your asshole, you slowly move backward onto his cock. You control ALL the movement.... how fast, how deep, and how many times. You can get used to the fullness at your own pace.. And when it feels right,,, you can fuck your own ass as hard and as deep as you like.. Just make sure you have a partner that lets you control everything from start to finish. You will get to know what you can take and what you enjoy.. play safe and enjoy...

[slavelucy]

angel - i actually find doggie to be quite brutal and painful for anal...(mmmm, er, ooops, sorry! LOL), although it is possible this was/is for psychological reasons as much as physical. When i first started anal, i always found that on my side, in a spoons type position worked best, and then took it from there. It can also be as sort of 'dominant' or undominant as you like in this position.

Oh, and yeah, it will probably hurt a bit either way, but if done properly and with some degree of consideration (at least until you're used it it! :D ) then it certainly shouldn't be agony.

bushman - i'm not entirely clear what your question is - "if we continue this for a long time, will i get too loose and end up with depends when i get older"....firstly, do you mean if you continue it for a long time in one session, or a long time as in many sessions over a number of months/years? Secondly 'ends up with depends'??

sl

[redEva]

Bushman is asking if there is possibility that due to the practising anal sex his sphincter loosens to the point where he will not be able to retain, where he would eventually end up being in the diapers.

My belief is that with sensible practise of anal sex that should not happen – as long as you do not cause damage to the sphincter like tearing it and/or do not practise extreme stretching for long periods of time (like fist sized but plugs) you should be fine.

I was following this thread with interest and was hoping one of the more medically qualified members of forum might give us some insight – but, unfortunately so far – no luck.

If you think about it – during normal recourse of biological functioning (and not to be disgusting but…) things of similar thickness often end up going out that way. So my conclusion is that sphincter is elastic enough to stretch that much (and a bit more) and still retain strength to close.

On the other subject – unlike lucy I always found the doggie style to be most comfortable. The key (in my opinion) is to be excited high enough, to want it and to be able to relax and accept it. And … USE A LOT OF LUBE!!!

Good luck and have fun all

[bushman]

slavelucy, What I meant was a long time in terms of years... over and over again.... and will I have to wear depends... LOL... adult diapers....... because I can't control myself anymore... too loose and stretched out..

[bushman]

redEva, Thank you for the reply... so far, so good, no tearing and tons of lube used. Still not sure about the fisting, but I will let my mistress use a larger strap-on if she wishes... It would be a benifit to have a "medical" person respond.. thank you

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by -angelstar-
i dunno. but while we're on a question and answer thing about anal sex. can i add on a question too?

if its the first time having anal sex.... what's the best position to do it from, to minimise the pain or something? if there's any such position in the first place :p



Well, gee, you haven't already gotten everyone else's opinion on best position, so I'll go ahead and tell you mine.

From just a purely physiological perspective, woman on top facing man should provide the least amount of discomfort for anal sex. It has actually seemed to work for me for some of my more sensitive partners.

[-angelstar-]

i dunno but similar to what redeva has said, i actually do think that excessive stretching of the anus will lead to it being less stretchable? as in, the muscles wont be able to function as well as before, so the back passage becomes 'loose'

although maybe it wont be as extreme as being unable to control your bowels...just that it just doesnt become as 'tight' as it used to be?

as for 'natural' stuff that's rather 'large' in size :p i dunno. but i think there's a difference between stuff the body produces, and stuff that is external? like i mean the body wouldnt make the 'natural' stuff into a size that it wont be able to expel....

:D but that's just my warped way of thinking. i better leave it to the professionals to clarify this :D

[-angelstar-]

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
Well, gee, you haven't already gotten everyone else's opinion on best position, so I'll go ahead and tell you mine.

From just a purely physiological perspective, woman on top facing man should provide the least amount of discomfort for anal sex. It has actually seemed to work for me for some of my more sensitive partners.

hmm. i never thought of doing it that way... but now that you mention it, if it does ease discomfort for normal sex, it should do likewise for anal sex :p tho i'll probably just chicken out of it and put it into the other place instead... but *puts the thought away for further consideration* :p

[bushman]

I think you do become a little looser,,,, because it really doesn't hurt as much as it used to.. I'am always carful, but it sure is hard to stop when it feels so good. Maybe if my mistress goes "bigger" with me, we will only do it once a week. That might make it a better treat. waiting a little longer could heighten the event...

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by bushman
slavelucy, What I meant was a long time in terms of years... over and over again.... and will I have to wear depends... LOL... adult diapers....... because I can't control myself anymore... too loose and stretched out..



You'll be fine. The human body is amazingly recuperative.

The only way that I would be concerned, if I were you, is if you repeatedly tear the muscles of your anus. If this occurs, move to a smaller dildo. Repeated tearing of the muscles and/or the lining can lead to the development of scar tissue in your anus and rectum and, believe me, you don't want that.

As far as concerns go, I think incotenence should be the least of your concerns. I'd be more concerned with hemorroids.

[bushman]

thank you BDSM_Tourguide, any information is appreciated in trying to enjoy scenes without any long lasting problems....

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by bushman
I think you do become a little looser,,,, because it really doesn't hurt as much as it used to..



That's because you're getting used to it. Many dominants make their submissives wear butt plugs or participate in anal sex at least twice a week in order to "train" their anus. It does loosen it somewhat, but not significantly. Mostly, it just makes it easier for the submissive to take anal penetration without too much pain.

Think of it this way: Women can give birth to something the size of a watermelon and their vaginas still retain their natural tightness, despite that fact. Same thing for the anus. Just because you have something big going into it or coming out of it, it will stil heal and resume its normal state. Perhaps a little wear and stretch will show, but as I said in my ealier post, nothing very extreme, I would think.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by -angelstar-
hmm. i never thought of doing it that way... but now that you mention it, if it does ease discomfort for normal sex, it should do likewise for anal sex :p tho i'll probably just chicken out of it and put it into the other place instead... but *puts the thought away for further consideration* :p



That tip was passed along to me by a woman that suffered from cervical cancer. After her surgeries, vaginal sex was too uncomfortable for her so, in order to still have a sex life with her husband, she moved to anal sex. That was the position she found worked best for her, and apparently a few of her friends, but I didn't say that. ;)

[AndrewBlack]

Your anus actually has two sphincters, one of which is mainly under voluntary control, the other is not. Certainly regular penetration can alter sphincter tone and function, usually it doesn't cause symptoms because of the duel mechanism which helps maintain continence

[albear]

ditto above :)

you have two anal sphincters, the outer can be relaxed or contracted at will. the inner sphincter has a mostly involuntary action. pressure coming downwards (ie waste) causes the ring of muscles to relax and let it pass. the inner ring can be "trained" to loosen up, but unless you tear the muscles, usually returns to it's normal elasticity. i don't think there would be any long term fecal incontinence problems, as long as it's kept simple, a lot of lube and a lot of love ;)

keep in mind this is a non-medical opinion.
hope it's of some help

[AndrewBlack]

Actually it is not uncommon for the external sphincter to become weakened by regular intercourse. You can only really appreciate this when someone is anaesthetized though.

[slavelucy]

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
Think of it this way: Women can give birth to something the size of a watermelon and their vaginas still retain their natural tightness, despite that fact. Same thing for the anus. .[/COLOR]

But the vagina was designed with giving birth in mind...hence why the tissues and muscles are much more recuperative and elastic....i mean, i agree that the anus can withstand an awful lot of wear and tear (thank god! :D ), but i don't think the comparison to the vagina is a good one all the same.

sl

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by AndrewBlack
Actually it is not uncommon for the external sphincter to become weakened by regular intercourse. You can only really appreciate this when someone is anaesthetized though.



I think a better term for it would be relaxed, not weakened. Weakened signifies that something will not assume its previous state, which, by my experience, is untrue. Go a month or so without having anal sex with a woman and her anus will tighten up again and become harder to penetrate.

I stand by my orignal replies.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by slavelucy
But the vagina was designed with giving birth in mind...hence why the tissues and muscles are much more recuperative and elastic....i mean, i agree that the anus can withstand an awful lot of wear and tear (thank god! :D ), but i don't think the comparison to the vagina is a good one all the same.

sl



I dunno, lucy, I've had things come out of my ass that were nearly as big as my daughter. LMAO


Seriously, though, the perineal lining of the anus is very similar to that or the vagina. A lot of the same muscle types and whatnot. I would dare to guess, judging by what our doctors told us during FF's pregnancy, that much of the loosening of the vagina and then the contraction afterwards is done by hormonal response and not by pure physical force.

[whippedcream]

I was doing anal like 2 or 3 times a week for almost a year. I don’t think there’s been any permanent loosening, since after a month of not doing it, I wasn’t used to it anymore and it was at least as difficult as the first time.

Difficult, but not necessarily painful in a bad way. The key thing is to make sure you're given more time to relax *after* your partner is inside. Even if they’ve stretched you out really well and entered carefully, usually you clench up and need a second to adjust. If your partner is attentive and responds well to verbal directions, it might not even be necessary to worry about controlling the movement yourself. I thought it was romantic that no matter how good it was feeling for him, he would always hold back for my benefit, until I gave the ok to speed up.

If you’re worried about pain, I wouldn’t recommend lying on your back and pulling your knees up. You feel very trapped and it goes very deep and there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. Hands and knees, or lying flat on my belly, always worked best for me. The only problem with that is your partner can’t see your face, so if you want him/her to ease up you’ll have to say something out loud.

Oh and one more bit of buttknowledge: We’d read someplace that you should always use a condom and we did, but once we made the mistake of getting those non-latex ones that kind of remind me of saran wrap. It was all wrinkly, not smooth like the good old Trojans, and rubbed horribly and I was bleeding. So those condoms are not the way to go.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by whippedcream
Oh and one more bit of buttknowledge: We’d read someplace that you should always use a condom



I've never used a condom for anal sex. I don't really see the point to it, unless you're just being conscious of your health.

Sounds like you'd have been better off not using one, too, whippedcream. ;)

[Curtis]

Condoms for anal sex are mostly an HIV preventative, though lubricated condoms are sometimes recommended for ease of entry. That wouldn't be neccessary, though, if you use lots of lubricant to begin with. I have read one source that says condoms lessen the discomfort for the guy doing the penetrating, to which I can only reply, "Boo, hoo!"

[jaro_99]

angelstar...go with the top position to keep some control and allow your confidence to build...later you can get into the gymnastic stuff if it suits

you're bound still to feel some kind of discomfort at first - and its worth remembering that not everyone finds anal play to be total fun...some people actually find its not for them

still...your sphincters are muscles...so they should be able to be trained...and in a short time learn to accommodate most 'normal' sized thing anyone would want to place there

I think rather than pain the more likely comfort issue will be getting used to having that 'filled' feeling...like you're caught in the middle of a bowel movement

my only comment on condoms and lube...use plenty of wet stuff if you need it...but I also think it can make it harder for the other person to control the penetration...so if you're using lube to ease the entry just take it as a sign of the need for extra caution lest someone just 'slip' and give you the full length all in one go!!! - less of an issue if you're riding high :-)

and yeah...try and relax

[-angelstar-]

:p it is actually quite hard to relax, if you're absolutely against enemas.

then you keep worring the whole time like, omg what if its not clean in there. lols.

:o

[bushman]

anglestar, nice to be clean "down there", but it all washes off with no problems...

[-angelstar-]

but isnt it really gross if you do it on the bed... and then you urm remove yourself, and see urm, you know, that there's stuff that came along....

icky isnt it :x

[bushman]

It can be a little "icky",,,, but it doesn't have to be something that ruins the fun.... just wash up and continue to play.... just part of the whole experience.......

[GaryWilcox]

Well, you can always enema for your guy beforehand...

* hint, hint *

[-angelstar-]

dont want to do an enema.

i dont know why. i just got a phobia of it? :p

[bushman]

anglestar, sounds like you need someone to "expand" you limits a bit. someone that you trust completely to be gentle with you and someone you can just give yourself over to.... with love and trust, you can play safe and find new ways to enjoy.......

[GaryWilcox]

Originally posted by -angelstar-
dont want to do an enema.

i dont know why. i just got a phobia of it? :p

You can get it done with a doctor, comfortably... you calling the shots. Try it once. It might give you the courage to do one yourself sometime.

[Lord Douche]

Originally posted by -angelstar-
dont want to do an enema.

i dont know why. i just got a phobia of it? :p
Come to LD's clinic, we'll take care of that phobia quick-smart! (Either that, or leave you terrified of the Doctors :D)

Have you ever tried one? Properly done, it can be nice and relaxing, not to mention good for you :)
LD

[-angelstar-]

Originally posted by Lord Douche
Come to LD's clinic, we'll take care of that phobia quick-smart! (Either that, or leave you terrified of the Doctors :D)

Have you ever tried one? Properly done, it can be nice and relaxing, not to mention good for you :)
LD

nope, never tried one. never even thought of trying it.

:D:D

well if LD's clinic relocates to singapore. maybe i will stop by :p

say. which part of aussie are you in?

[whippedcream]

I was under the impression that condoms were a good idea because of bacteria and all, but the main thing I liked about it was that it really helped with the "what if I'm not as clean as I thought" worrying. I always imagined that having to scrub down a post-anal-sex penis would probably not be very pleasant, but if he's wearing a condom you just chuck it in the garbage and boom you're done.

[Lord Douche]

Originally posted by -angelstar-
well if LD's clinic relocates to singapore. maybe i will stop by :p

say. which part of aussie are you in?
It apppears I'm in the part that is furthest from Singapore: Melbourne!

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by whippedcream
I was under the impression that condoms were a good idea because of bacteria and all, but the main thing I liked about it was that it really helped with the "what if I'm not as clean as I thought" worrying. I always imagined that having to scrub down a post-anal-sex penis would probably not be very pleasant, but if he's wearing a condom you just chuck it in the garbage and boom you're done.



*Shrug* Anything that comes out of your butt can be washed off with soap and water. I'd be more concerned about a guy sticking his penis in my mouth or my ass if he hadn't washed it off beforehand.

Bacterial infections from anus to penis occur in about .0001 percent of infection cases. A man is more likely to get a yeast infection from a woman's vagina than he is a bacterial infection from her anus. That chance is very unlikely as well. I don't know that actual figure, but I'm guessing the chance of a woman passing her yeast infection to her man is about 1 in 8 million or so.

[-angelstar-]

Originally posted by Lord Douche
It apppears I'm in the part that is furthest from Singapore: Melbourne!

awwww. i think its sydney i'm going to :(

[slavelucy]

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
[B]I dunno, lucy, I've had things come out of my ass that were nearly as big as my daughter. LMAO


Er...riiiight, think we'll leave that one there thanks TG.

Well, certainly one thing that will improve wear on tear to both the anus and the vagina is pelvic floor excercises...in fact, it is it is the pelvic floor muscles being weakened or damaged that leads to some women losing their natural tightness after giving birth, and doing these excercises, according to anyone i know who has given birth, makes a big difference to getting it back. *sigh* So i guess it isn't by magic after all - dammit!

sl

[MrJerseyGuy]

I was planning to post a question along these lines when I found this thread. As always, I turn to my friends in the forum for advice and input (no pun intended).

My little sub has expressed a willingness to experiment with anal for some time. We haven't gotten around to it yet but we have a free weekend coming up. I recently came into a little windfall of $$$ so I'm planning a trip to the "toy store" later today to pick up some nipple clamps, a HUGE dildoe and a butt plug. I want to break her into anal in such a way that it can become a normal part of our sex. Over the years I've been around a bit (I'm 15 years older than she) and I've had women that tried and hated anal, most that will tolerate it...and one or two that actually liked it. This one likes a certain amount of pain and I think she would really like it if broken in correctly. My idea is this...

I thought about buying a moderately sized butt plug and a topical anesthetic. I figured that after she is tied, whipped and I'm working her with her dildoe...when she is really excited, I could insert the plug to get her relaxed and loosened for later. I was thinking that the anesthetic might minimize the pain of her first experience and make her more available in the future. This is just a personal "brainstorm" and nothing I have tried before. Any thoughts or ideas from those of you with more experience would be welcome.

If she wasn't special I'd just do it...but this one is a keeper and I want to go carefully. She has enjoyed every form of bdsm I've introduced her to so far and I'd reall like to add anal to the repertoire. I'm looking forward to your responses. She is usually tied "spread eagle", but I can change that if it will work better.

[Kelli]

Would you object to using a finger first? Just to get her used to the idea and starting small. That's what my man did to me, and he did it at a great moment when I was so horny and wanting to cum so badly. Being able to distract her with something on her nipples or clit will help to. Other than that, lots of lube and start small. Good luck!

[redEva]

Yes - it is great idea and possibly lots of fun - but if you want her trained properly - TG mentioned earlier - it should be done on regular basis - every day, every other day - you should start with the smallest plug and work your way up - i would not start with moderately sized - rather with smallest one and work your (hers) way up to larger ones.

You do not need the topic aesthetic – just lots of lube.

In the beginning she should be able to tolerate plug inside for good 2 hours before it is really uncomfortable (some could do it longer), when she is comfortable for a while with small size for a period – I would say of some 6 hours at the time – you can increase size.

Depending oh how much and how often you have access to her you might want to have her wearing plug on daily basis – to get used to the feeling of fullness and to be relaxed enough for you to take you easily.

I think – unlike vaginal probes – the but plug is impossible to forget about – it is constant reminder of intrusion and such a “nice” way of having her thinking of you.

I personally think it is great to have that combined with enemas – another great humiliation play – that also serves as a tool to cleanse and makes sub more at ease with anal play (in most cases – cause it is clean).

And again
such a gorgeous but plugs for serious players (http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/snelling_butt_toys.html)

good luck and have fun :D

P.S. just as an after thought! Stick it up your ass – and see how it feels – nothing better than first hand experience ;)

[slavelucy]

Originally posted by redEva
P.S. just as an after thought! Stick it up your ass – and see how it feels – nothing better than first hand experience ;)

ROFLMAO!! Oh red, there is something about this line that just really tickled me! Perhaps i should try saying it to my Master.....er, or, on second thoughts, perhaps not eh?! :D

sl

[redEva]

yeah - lucy - you should not! but he is not my master - maybe just show him my post *gigles*

[Finding_Fantasy]

As for positions, the only way that I have been able to do it comfortably in the start is doggie and then, if so choose can change to another poistion.

However, ever since my daughter was born, I have really been unable to do anal without a large amount of discomfort and pain. Maybe is is because she rearranged the furniture while she was in there and didn't put it back when she moved out, I don't really know.

[woodsman'sgame]

Angelstar,
First of all it helps if you are excited to begin with, so do some other things that you enjoy first. (Often at the beginning of a session I am thinking "no way am I going to do that today" but I change my mind later on in the session when I am turned on) Once you are aroused, try it first while on your stomach. Try to relax and youdefinitely need to be the one in control the first time.
Slow, gentle play is best. Start small get bigger slowly, one finger, then two then a small dildo them a larger one and combine it with plenty of clitoral stimulation and lubrication so it is enjoyable.
As far as the cleanliness is concerned, it has never been a problem for me, even without an enema. I am always clear if I am prepared carefully. It seems my body knows what's coming. (pun intended) You may be the same way.
If your partner really enjoys the anal sex, though. He probably expects things to be a little messy. Don't worry about that. It is his choice.

PS Enemas aren't bad at all. You might find them to be enjoyable.

[AndrewBlack]

LOL - Rearranged the furniture, what an excellent way of describing it!

[Finding_Fantasy]

*grins* Thanks. LOL

[MrJerseyGuy]

Originally posted by redEva
P.S. just as an after thought! Stick it up your ass – and see how it feels – nothing better than first hand experience ;)

Funny...when I mentioned that I had gone out and purchased her a brand new lovely butt plug her response was the same as redEva's

I'm re-thinking my position on this.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Anyone who's ever had a spanking with a butt plug inserted can certainly verify that they add a certain dimension to the whole experience.

As a rule, I like to keep at east once butt plug in the house for a variety of reasons. Mine doesn't see too much use these days, but it's still there.

However, were my girl to tell me to stick it up my ass, I'd demonstrate how that butt plug works and exactly what kind of element it adds to a generous spanking. ;)

[redEva]

Originally posted by MrJerseyGuy
Funny...when I mentioned that I had gone out and purchased her a brand new lovely butt plug her response was the same as redEva's

I'm re-thinking my position on this.

Dearest MrJerseyGuy,

My comment was made in good spirit, and was not meant to offend. From your response I gather it did not either. I am glad, especially since I can see how you are responding to her.

My strong belief is that nothing is better than first hand experience. It is quite easily for any Dom (experienced or not) to be taken aback by the expression and the screams of pain of the afflicted sub if He/She did not have a ‘pleasure’ of experiencing the same treatment before.

The theory and fantasy are something completely different from the real life experience. Even though I love fantasizing about anal play – I do not even remotely enjoy the enema experience (if it would be administered by someone else, in the scene – there of course is that humiliation element – but that is all). As for the but-plugs they are fun. Definitely takes time to be able to accommodate one for extended period of time.

It is wonderful to see that you are taking her input seriously – for me it really is no fun to force something on someone that that person does not want – on some level.

So… all that being said – I still hope you manage to persuade her to see the things your way ;).

One thing I found out (from my own experience) is that but-plug is much easier to bear while aroused. So I think that anal training goes extremely well with orgasm deprivation. What do you think?

[MrJerseyGuy]

Originally posted by redEva
One thing I found out (from my own experience) is that but-plug is much easier to bear while aroused. So I think that anal training goes extremely well with orgasm deprivation. What do you think?

I agree completely. Orgasm deprivation usually plays a part when we have extended play and has led to the discovery of new "limits" on many occassions.

(Its also the reason my back and ass look like someone took a cheese grater to them...thanks to her fingernails!)

And yes, I was serious when I got into this thread. I found it as I was preparing to launch a similar one of my own.

I love this web site and visit almost daily. There is a nice assortment of both Doms and subs here, some with less experience than I and many with more. Its a great place to bounce ideas and questions off of each other and learn. As much as I like to throw out an occassional "tongue in cheek" response, most of the time I enter a thread because I am genuinely interested in the topic.

After all, most of these questions are not exactly the kind you can run by the guy/girl sitting next to you at the neighborhood bar!

[darling_brat]

You might find that investing in a reputable guide, such as Anal Pleasure & Health by Jack Morin, would make you both more comfortable.

My experience is that I cannot truly relax with the preparatory enema. A small to medium vibrating plug is also a great distraction to the actual insertion of the toy. Patience and plenty of foreplay and lots of lube are your best allies. My first experience took an hour or more to...consummate, and there was no pain.

Anal sex should not be painful...uncomfortable, yes...but not painful. Anaesthetic cream is not a good idea, as it can mask pain that would indicate more time, lube, etc., are necessary. The lining of the rectum is actually somewhat thinner than the vaginal lining and therefore more susceptible to abrasion or laceration.

The whole idea is to make him/her love it, right?

Happy tails! :)

[MrJerseyGuy]

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
Anyone who's ever had a spanking with a butt plug inserted can certainly verify that they add a certain dimension to the whole experience.



HHHmmmm..I just got her a brand new riding crop yesterday! Should make for an interesting weekend.

[rlsk]

The difficulty I've had the few times I've tried anal sex is not the pain or the idea, but the fact that as soon as he starts to enter, I immediately feel like I really have to go to the bathroom. It's very distracting and I have to call an end to things. I don't know if there's anything to be done about that. Perhaps I'm just strange!

[slavelucy]

The difficulty I've had the few times I've tried anal sex is not the pain or the idea, but the fact that as soon as he starts to enter, I immediately feel like I really have to go to the bathroom. It's very distracting and I have to call an end to things. I don't know if there's anything to be done about that. Perhaps I'm just strange!

*giggles* Yeah, i don't think that is all that uncommon, i figured it was just because..um..that's usually what it's used for and it feels odd at first doing that...if you try and ignore it and move past it, it will probably pass. Or, you could consider enema's....*looks at LordDouche meaningfully* (LD being something of an expert on such matters!).

Anyway, welcome to the forums rlsk! i notice this is your first post; when you get a minute, why not come and introduce yourself (say hi etc!) in the 'New Members' thread in the General Talk Forum.

Look forward to hearing more from you. :)

lucy

[Lord Douche]

*giggles* Yeah, i don't think that is all that in common, i figured it was just because..um..that's usually what it's used for and it feels odd at first doing that...if you try and ignore it and move past it, it will probably pass. Or, you could consider enema's....*looks at LordDouche meaningfully* (LD being something of an expert on such matters!).
That's an idea. A few enema's beforehand would help, perhaps to loosen you up inside, and also the help reassure yourself that your rear is clean and there is no need to worry about making a mess. :)
On a more mischevious note, you could get your BF to tie you up. Then you won't have any choice in the matter! :D
LD

[MrJerseyGuy]

Enema? I don't know that she'd go for that...but cuffs aren't a bad idea...maybe a gag too.

[slavelucy]

Enema? I don't know that she'd go for that...but cuffs aren't a bad idea...maybe a gag too.

MrJG - how did the anal session go in the end??

sl

[MrJerseyGuy]

MrJG - how did the anal session go in the end??

sl

No pun intended lucy????

Ever notice how the more carefully you plan something the more fucked up it gets? I had a whole plan...based on advice I got here I was going to get her really worked up...the problem was that I got really worked up too and wound up cumming myself. That, of course, required a break to...shall we say...reload, during which we both fell asleep!

Now I have a pefectly good brand new butt plug and whip that I have to wait two more weeks to try out! Damn it!

[slavelucy]

No pun intended lucy????

Ever notice how the more carefully you plan something the more fucked up it gets? I had a whole plan...based on advice I got here I was going to get her really worked up...the problem was that I got really worked up too and wound up cumming myself. That, of course, required a break to...shall we say...reload, during which we both fell asleep!

Now I have a pefectly good brand new butt plug and whip that I have to wait two more weeks to try out! Damn it!

Oh no! LOL!! Oh well, nevermind, there's always next time. (and yeah, you're right on the phenomena that exists between carefully planning something and it all going wrong).

And, actually, there WAS no pun intended...which is most unlike me, i must be losing my touch! ;)

*looks again at 'how did the anal session go in the end' - and groans*

sl

[redEva]

LOL ... but I am really sorry it did not go as planned - though that is normal! And yes! There will be next time. On the other hand – a piece of advice – she should not be allowed to cum prior to session – few days at least, you should vigorously exercise your God given right to use your right (or left) hand and for sure couple times the day of the planned session – that should help to keep you in working order ;)

[slavelucy]

[QUOTE=redEva she should not be allowed to cum prior to session – few days at least[[/QUOTE]


My God red, you're just so mean!!! :eek:

Although....the humiliation of cumming during anal sex..mmmmm

*grins cheekily and blushes*

sl

[redEva]

My God red, you're just so mean!!! :eek:
Although....the humiliation of cumming during anal sex..mmmmm
*grins cheekily and blushes*
sl
ahhh, but sweets :) you would be taken under special consideration - you would be fitted with the but plug for 2 days with enemas every morning, and masturbation to completion every hour on the hour for 48 hours - than i would play with you :) (how do you like that - still think im mean?) :[

[cyndylu]

anglestar, sounds like you need someone to "expand" you limits a bit. someone that you trust completely to be gentle with you and someone you can just give yourself over to.... with love and trust, you can play safe and find new ways to enjoy.......
i think you just described the ideal relationship situation


i know i’m kind of late into this thread but would like to share my experience with anal. My first husband knocked me around then sodomized me telling me to get used to it; i was to young to understand and didn’t get accustomed to the abuse.

Many years later i met a fellow who used a different approach and i really enjoyed the anal experience. He gave me a couple of clitoral orgasms then inserted a vibrator in my vagina before penetrating my anus. In addition to a whole lot of patience, he used lots of lube and a small, hard plastic vibrator to get started with the anal and kept up with the foreplay until i backed up onto him.

i like the use of condoms simply because clean up is easier and faster so we can move on to other things. i read somewhere that condoms are important for anal sex because of some bacteria that can get into the penis. Also if you switch from vagina to anus you’re not transferring anything to the anus but my obgyn did say to never, ever go from anus to vagina because it can and will cause vaginal infections.

[MrJerseyGuy]

Thanks to all of you for the advice and humor. And yes, Cyndylu, I agree that it is something that needs to be done with a little consideration (at least at first). At 45 years old I've had more than one prostrate exam from a doctor and I can't say I found it very exciting. Although the last time, in the middle of the exam, I looked back at the doctor and said "You know...I usually buy someone dinner before I do this to them!" I actually got a chuckle out of him!

LOL...if nothing else, this will give me some incentive...come the weekend I'll say "But honey we have to...redEva, slavelucy, Cyndylu and all the people from the bondage web site are waiting to hear about it!"

[GaryWilcox]

With my first regular anal partner, the key was teasing her mercilessly about it and refusing to do anything for her until she begged me for it.

She wasn't comfortable with me licking her down there, either, but lovebites on her ass really got her going. Tying wrists together behind her back also helped, as did clamping the left hand across her mouth... every time I set that scenario up, she was sure that this was the day I was going to do it. Eventually, she raised her hips on to me as I teased my cock at her anus. I wish I had stayed still and let her do the work!

If I had used a vibrator to stimulate her clit and toyed with her the way Cindylu's partner did, it probably would have sped things along tremendously.

[cyndylu]

You can also try the bowling ball grip. With your thumb in her vagina insert your well lubed middle finger into her rectum then rub your finger and thumb together. I’m not sure whether it was the thumb and finger action rubbing or squeezing the space between the two holes but the one time it happened was wonderful. :D

If there is a correct name for what I’ve just described, please let me know. :o

[lola]

You can also try the bowling ball grip. With your thumb in her vagina insert your well lubed middle finger into her rectum then rub your finger and thumb together. I’m not sure whether it was the thumb and finger action rubbing or squeezing the space between the two holes but the one time it happened was wonderful. :D

If there is a correct name for what I’ve just described, please let me know. :o

If it's not called the bowling ball grip, it certainly should be. That was the perfect description.

[MrJerseyGuy]

I love that description "Bowling Ball Grip". For the next week I'm going to tell her that I want to go bowling this weekend!!!

I'll have to keep you guys posted (especially slavelucy) but...

As hard as I try...sometimes I feel like a one man version of the three stooges trying to be a Dom. I can see it now...11pm Saturday night I'm going to be sitting in bed with my ankles handcuffed to my nuts...a ball gag stuck in my ass and a butt plug hanging out of my nose...

and she'll be sound asleep!

That just seems to be how my luck runs!

[l<itten]

well i dunno. he's tried doing it with me doggie style. but usually once he gets a bit of it in... i just squirm away :o which i dont want to, but i keep thinking it'll hurt like hell so i just yeah, escape :o


I have the same exact problem. I want to do anal, but I have an extremely LOW tolerance for pain, but am curious and want to do anal. I find myself squirming away from my Master's cock as he is trying to put it in.

[slavelucy]

I have the same exact problem. I want to do anal, but I have an extremely LOW tolerance for pain, but am curious and want to do anal. I find myself squirming away from my Master's cock as he is trying to put it in.

Yeah, see, it's at that point you should try to fight all your natural instincts to pull away (heh, i make that sound easy!) and push back onto him..push out, if you see what i mean...it will hurt for a second, but once you're past that, it should be fine, if he's gentle with you...and you'll only need to do it once, to convince yourself that it will work, if you see what i mean.

sl

[l<itten]

Yeah, see, it's at that point you should try to fight all your natural instincts to pull away (heh, i make that sound easy!) and push back onto him..push out, if you see what i mean...it will hurt for a second, but once you're past that, it should be fine, if he's gentle with you...and you'll only need to do it once, to convince yourself that it will work, if you see what i mean.

sl

lol yea, alot easier said than done. My Master also suggested I push back on him, I think maybe if we both decide this is something we want to continue trying to do that maybe I should mention him letting me have control during anal until if/and/or/when I get used to it. Which might be hard for me, I don't take control, I never have. I prefer to be Dominated than to Dominate.

[slavelucy]

lol yea, alot easier said than done.

*grin* Absolutely...because every ounce of your natural instincts screams 'Pull away, you fool!'...but i promise, promise, promise, if you relax and push out, it will get better after a few strokes.



Which might be hard for me, I don't take control, I never have. I prefer to be Dominated than to Dominate.

But..it's not dominating. Try to think of it as doing something that ultimately will lead to you be able to do something you want to do for him..in that respect, it's the ultimate submissive action.

(Just to be clear, if anal sex is something that you decide is a hard limit, then that's cool, i'm not saying you HAVE to do anal sex, if it's just not your cup of tea.)

sl

[-angelstar-]

lucy, just wondering but will there be slight tearing or a little bleeding during the first time anal is tried?

[slavelucy]

lucy, just wondering but will there be slight tearing or a little bleeding during the first time anal is tried?

Hey angel, nice to hear from you. :)

There shouldn't be significant tearing and/or bleeding, no, especially not if done with consideration (and lube!). You will obviously 'feel' slightly different, for a very short while (having been stretched, it's just new, to the body), but that's as much a pyschological thing i think. If there was to be any slight bleeding, it would be no more than like an ink flick of blood, and you almost certainly wouldn't notice it or feel pain from it afterwards, the human body is very resiliant and it wouldn't be anything significant enough to trouble it. If done with care, the anus will accomodate what you wish it to accomodate without tearing, promise. :)

sl

[-angelstar-]

yeppers, havent been around much lately. hope all is well for you :)

anyway the reason why i asked was because the one time i tried getting a substantial bit of him up my butt, i found a bit of spotting... and my butt felt quite sore. so that freaked me out a little cos i got worried that i'd bleed a lot more if i took it all up :)

i shall work on my mental block now :)

thanks lucy!

[BDSM_Tourguide]

I have the same exact problem. I want to do anal, but I have an extremely LOW tolerance for pain, but am curious and want to do anal. I find myself squirming away from my Master's cock as he is trying to put it in.


For an easier time with anal sex, tell your master not to start with his cock, but with his tongue instead. Analingus tends to give pleasurable feelings in the area and should cause you to relax somewhat. After a few minutes of it, you will probably notice your hips rocking as he's licking you, just as if he was performing cunnilingus.

Second, after the tongue, still leave the cock in the pants. Have him use a finger or small vibe to begin slowly penetrating you. All the time, you should be concentrating not on how much it might hurt, but on your breathing and the relaxation of the muscles in your anus. After you are able to take a couple of finger or a small vibe easily, then it's time to pull the cock out of the pants and put it in the bum.

That should, however, be done slowly at first. This will give you plenty of time to stay relaxed and to get used to the larger (hopefully) item being introduced into your rectum. After that, it's easy peasy. You'll be laughing in no time.

To keep the anus "trained" try using a small butt plug for a certain amount of time each day. Start with a half hour's wear and move up from there. Once you can easily handle a small one, move to larger one. Eventually, you can get to the point where you can walk around with one in, wear one to work, or even sleep with one in and not even notice. Suffice it to say, when you get used to having a foreign body in your anus for lengthy periods of time, having your master turn you over and shove his cock all the way in you in one stroke is not so difficult anymore.

[MistressKali]

As a nurse, I've read this thread with interest, and a smile most of the time. First, as with any muscle, the sphincter can be stretched if done gently without causing any long term lasting effects... as long as it is not given the chance to atrophe (do those keigel excercises to keep up the elasticity!) and given a chance to return to normal and not remain in a stretched condition for extended periods of time without a rest. Second, as long as you KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that you are in a relationship where there is no chance of death by sex and both partners have tested negative for chlamydia, human papilloma virus, trichomonas, syphilis, gonorrhea, gardnerella, and herpes then a condom is not necessary as long as 1) there is no switching from anal to vaginal sex without cleaning up first and 2) the male urinates right after to flush the bacteria from the urethra and washes well to eleminate them from crawling right back into the warm wet environment they like so well.

To make anal sex play enjoyable and healthy, keep these tips in mind: Because no lubrication is produced by the anus, a lubricant should definitely be used to help the insertion of anything -- finger, penis or sex toy. Water-based lubricants are fine. Some of these can be purchased at drugstores or at a store that carries sensual accessories. Other more greasy lubricants are preferred by some who intend to spend a longer time at anal play. If you are using a latex based condom, remember that petrolium based products break down latex, exposing you to the risk of a STD.

For additional information on this topic, I recommend Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men and Women by Jack Morin.

~steps down from the lecture podium with a sheepish grin~