View Full Version : method for writing cut between scenes
mirage
09-19-2007, 12:08 AM
hi to all.
got something to ask.
for example this few sequence of actions
the last line of this 1st paragraph
- The cop alighted her car and approached the building complex
In my mind I could imagine how she approach the building, open the door, go left or right for exp. But I want to go right into the important part. It's like quick editing. There's no need to explain the whole details like she entered, scanned quickly the room and turn left.
my opening line of the 2nd paragraph
- She breathed heavily, pushed open the door and went inside the basement.
Could I write the 2 continuous paragraph like this.
The cop alighted her car and approached the building complex....................
.................................................. .................................................. ...
She breathed heavily, pushed open the door and went inside the basement.
The .......... would indicate jumping of scenes, not needed to be explained.
This way sound funny to me. Is there a proper method to write cutting of scenes or are there any symbols I can use?
tks. :)
ElectricBadger
09-19-2007, 12:56 AM
That usually works fine, as people are used to such conventions -- often to the point of not noticing them. However, there are a couple ways of helping things flow:
A moment later, she pushed open the door, breathing heavily as she entered the basement.
When she reached the door, she was breathing heavily...
Or use just a word or two to describe the action in between: She rushed to the basement door, breathing heavily as she pushed it open...
You can also break from conventional grammar, using a series of word-images to create flow; this can be disjointed or dreamlike, though: She drove to the complex, a short walk and a heavy door, and she was in the basement breathing heavily.
Finally, skipping a line usually indicates a break in scene; not really appropriate after the first paragraph, but another tool.
Very nice suggestions, ElectricBadger.
Mirage, what is the medium for this tale? Internet, a script, a short or long story, etc.? That may affect the conventions used for a break in scene.
If it's a book and you want a clean break, you can start a new chapter.
If it's a shorter work, then you might want to use transitions as suggested above. They keep the reader in the action and can help with the pacing.
gagged_Louise
09-19-2007, 04:19 AM
One of the nicest scene changes I've seen was this one, where a girl is talking to a male friend and wannabe writer at a student party and she realizes she has to get back to her work, at a clinincal research lab. The place will be deserted this time of night, but she'll have to check something, although it's far past midnight. We understand they are not very sober.
-I can take you there, he said coolly.
-How, then? I hope you don't mean to drive me in your car.
-By writing I've finally come to learn how you move people in a novel. You just drop them down at the new location and the reader will have to accept it.
The lights turned on one after one as Helen marched through the hospital corridor...
mirage
09-19-2007, 05:40 AM
thanks fellows for the reply.
what I was thinking was the sharp editing movie scenes which they don't show continuousness.
That's why I thought scenes that are connected but are far apart in visual time or place don't work with a simple ...
exp
The SWAT squads were ready to storm the building any moment...
Police Superintendent Barnes looked delighted as the SWAT officers bought out the robbers one by one.
gagged_Louise
09-19-2007, 06:27 AM
Film makers use a visual or musical link sometimes - the famous cut in 2001 where the apeman tosses the rough bone (the primeval weapon) up into the air and it merges into the spaceship flying to the moon two million years later. But that's hard to do in a short story - one way would be to use a piece of thought or something, told from inside a lead character, as a bridge between the two locations.
thanks fellows for the reply.
what I was thinking was the sharp editing movie scenes which they don't show continuousness.
That's why I thought scenes that are connected but are far apart in visual time or place don't work with a simple ...
exp
The SWAT squads were ready to storm the building any moment...
Police Superintendent Barnes looked delighted as the SWAT officers bought out the robbers one by one.
In a printed book, you'd leave out the "..." and use two or three blank lines to signal the new scene.
For me, when I read the "..." it breaks the flow. It's a tease and the writer has let me know that more is happening, but he/she doesn't want to take the time to share.
If you just end it with a period and skip two lines, for some reason, that makes me the reader, happier.
When formatting something like this for an Internet story, you can also use a *** centered between the scenes.
The SWAT squads were ready to storm the building any moment.
***
Police Superintendent Barnes looked delighted as the SWAT officers bought out the robbers one by one.
Even in an example like the one above, if you aren't starting a new chapter, I'd prefer a bit of a transition.
The SWAT squads were ready to storm the building any moment.
Five hostages saved and three hours later, Police Superintendent Barnes looked delighted as the SWAT officers bought out the robbers one by one.