Aussiegirl1
09-21-2007, 06:41 PM
The Power of Love
This last week has been a rollar coaster ride for Warbaby and myself.
Thursday week ago, Warbaby got offered a full time job with the company he had retired from 6 years ago. It seemed very likely he was going to take the job and thus we would have no longer been able to chat and play like we had. This also meant Warbaby would not have been abe to continue as my Master, due to our communication being limited to emails.
Needless to say, we were both very upset, Warbaby was very conflicted and we both felt terrible. However over the week, an amazing thing happened to me.
I found that once I stopped and remembered I was so very loved, and that would not change, and that I just needed to support WB in whatever happened, I felt a change in me. I felt like I had faced my worst fear ( WB and I ending as Master and sub) and knew it would not be the end of our love.
Last night we found out for sure that he will not be doing the job!
I was, of course, estactic. I was happy too that WB was not upset about not doing the job.
All along WB felt he had been offered the job for a reason. Now I feel maybe that reason was for me to see our relationship in a different light. We are still going to continue as we were, but a mental shift has happened for me. I can see now that maybe one of the reasons I am with WB is so he can give me that confidence I need to make certain improvements/changes in my life. More so, for me not to be so resistant to taking steps to make those changes.
I also don't feel the overwhelming sadness I used to feel just thinking of the day he could not be my Master due to us not being able to be together on a regular basis anymore. I know I would still miss him, but I also have learnt that his love for me will always be there. I think I learnt just how powerful love can be.
I also feel an even greater appreciation for all we have now and will cherish each session we have, as an added bonus to my life.
I would never have thought I could feel what I felt this week. The sadness at the beginning of the week , yes, that I knew I could feel. But the strength, the calmness, the certainty that whatever happened - it would be OK - that was an amazing discovery. I feel stronger and more sure of things than ever.
The love and concern of Warbaby, Tojo and other online friends was a great comfort to me and really has shown me the power of love!
This last week has been a rollar coaster ride for Warbaby and myself.
Thursday week ago, Warbaby got offered a full time job with the company he had retired from 6 years ago. It seemed very likely he was going to take the job and thus we would have no longer been able to chat and play like we had. This also meant Warbaby would not have been abe to continue as my Master, due to our communication being limited to emails.
Needless to say, we were both very upset, Warbaby was very conflicted and we both felt terrible. However over the week, an amazing thing happened to me.
I found that once I stopped and remembered I was so very loved, and that would not change, and that I just needed to support WB in whatever happened, I felt a change in me. I felt like I had faced my worst fear ( WB and I ending as Master and sub) and knew it would not be the end of our love.
Last night we found out for sure that he will not be doing the job!
I was, of course, estactic. I was happy too that WB was not upset about not doing the job.
All along WB felt he had been offered the job for a reason. Now I feel maybe that reason was for me to see our relationship in a different light. We are still going to continue as we were, but a mental shift has happened for me. I can see now that maybe one of the reasons I am with WB is so he can give me that confidence I need to make certain improvements/changes in my life. More so, for me not to be so resistant to taking steps to make those changes.
I also don't feel the overwhelming sadness I used to feel just thinking of the day he could not be my Master due to us not being able to be together on a regular basis anymore. I know I would still miss him, but I also have learnt that his love for me will always be there. I think I learnt just how powerful love can be.
I also feel an even greater appreciation for all we have now and will cherish each session we have, as an added bonus to my life.
I would never have thought I could feel what I felt this week. The sadness at the beginning of the week , yes, that I knew I could feel. But the strength, the calmness, the certainty that whatever happened - it would be OK - that was an amazing discovery. I feel stronger and more sure of things than ever.
The love and concern of Warbaby, Tojo and other online friends was a great comfort to me and really has shown me the power of love!