New Site Guidelines

[Torq]

Hello all,

PLEASE pop into the guidelines area and review the new guidelines. THANK YOU to all who made suggestions and had the patience to wait for the official posting.
Please comment and ANY and ALL constructive comments will be noted and dicussed.

Thanks again all,

Be Well
T

[thrall]

Thank you for streamlining the Rules and putting them all together in one place. I appreciate the fact that you asked the forum for its input and suggestions.

thrall

[Guest 91108]

I agree with thrall, thanks for asking for input and suggestions still.

[DarkPoet]

Thanks for the work you and the other admins put into that. The rules appear concise and clear, without imposing unneccessary limitations, but resolving a few ambiguities. And still listening for opinions on the new rules is all that can be asked you from.

[thrall]

hello.......

Are we allowed to ask questions about the rules in open threads?

I have re read the rules and have questions about rule #7

[gagged_Louise]

Rule #7, the one thrall brings up, explains that responses and loss of privileges (e.g. temporary or lifetime ban) for breaking site rules will be used by a sliding scale. I think it would be useful for the members here to know some of what this sliding scale will look like, and if the earlier practice of a "points system" as with a driver's licence will still be honoured? That system was used for a long time, and the essential bones of it are explained by an earlier Admin in the thread "Alternatives to banning" under Comments and Suggestions.

[Torq]

Hello Thrall an gagged Louise,

Quick answers to both are yes and yes. A brief explaination, Yes ask all the qusetions you like, any comments are welcome anytime. Do we need a ton of new threads 'wordsmithing' them to death, NO! thats what this thread if for. LOL

As far as the "infraction" system, it will most likely stay but with some fair modifications,, I much more believe in MORE warnings and attempts for folks to "cool-off" before banning someone or kicking them out. Anyone can make a mistake in the heat of the moment! So plans are to also "lighten-up" that 'scale' as well. Additional info will follow soon, please be patient.


As a recent member said to me about the new guidelines: "Lets take em for a spin" agreed , let em settle in be massaged as needed and move on !

TY for your questions and comments,, keep em coming!

Be Well
T

[Phantom]

Speaking from the standpoint of a law background, a lot of these rules need to be tightened up. You are making a lot of them way to open to personal interpretation and, as a result, they are unclear and ambiguous. Comparing these with the previous rules leads me to think that staff here actually wants more freedom to be able to impose their will on members than before, a situation that bodes ill for us peons.

[Torq]

hello Phantom;

That is in NO way the case. To lighten up the guidelines is to allow for more flow of information.

TY for your concerns

Be Well
T

[thrall]

hello Torq

.......more ideas............lol

for ease of reference.......would it be possible to alphabetize the names of who's on line???

just a thought

thrall

[Warbaby1943]

hello Torq

.......more ideas............lol

for ease of reference.......would it be possible to alphabetize the names of who's on line???

just a thought

thrallThey are now and have always been that way for me. I don't think I ever had to make any choices of options for them to be that way. I don't know why yours would be listed alphabetically. Maybe we'll soon find out.

[annie]

hello Torq

.......more ideas............lol

for ease of reference.......would it be possible to alphabetize the names of who's on line???

just a thought

thrall

Thrall...

I can answer that one! Ready???

I have no clue.. but as soon as the Admin panel and I are on complete speaking terms and it's buttons stop trying to delete things it shouldn't (and NO it isn't the operator but the buttons... lol) I'll check and see. My guess is no since I know that you can't change the number of "poll" options either but I will check instead of just going with a gut guess.

Hugs!
Annie

[Warbaby1943]

I have one thing that I am not so sure of after reading over the rules once more. Maybe I missed it but are we still going to have to change our password every so often?

[thrall]

Thanks Annie...........love you for trying..........hugs

[annie]

I have one thing that I am not so sure of after reading over the rules once more. Maybe I missed it but are we still going to have to change our password every so often?

No, your password is your responsibility to keep safe. (Although that may be different for Staff) I just have to find that button too! :32:

[Warbaby1943]

No, your password is your responsibility to keep safe. (Although that may be different for Staff) I just have to find that button too! :32:Thanks Annie.

[SheepishJaina]

I've been away and apparently missed the big changes. Looks good though, folks :)

[thrall]

Hello Torq......i have a question about rule #4....the harassment rule....

In the old rules it used to be good enough to tell someone not to contact them for any reason.........Ie......"just want to say hi"......a very non-threatening statement........but if it is unwanted can that still be considered "harassment"?

Stalkers usually come in the be beginning with smiles, lovely words......

can that be considered "harassment"..........because in print........it all looks good......

sorry.......but this used to be part of the old rules, and was wondering if it still stands

no means no.......and stop talking to me means just that.........stop talking to me

Im sure that it is............but just wanted to be clear.

thanks

thrall



Sorry Sorry Sorry.........i posted this in the wrong thread......can it be moved to the site guidelines...........sorry..........

[annie]

Thrall...

post is moved!

And to answer your question... no means no. Doesn't matter what the information is that is being shared. As long as the response is a clear "NO, I do not want further contact" then no means no and any further contact is considered harassment.

[thrall]

sorry, again about posting in the wrong thread........

thanks for the answer........just wanted to be sure............

t

[annie]

sorry, again about posting in the wrong thread........

thanks for the answer........just wanted to be sure............

t

No biggie.. easy enough to move!

[Warbaby1943]

Too many threads being closed or deleted lately. Does this mean we are now under a dictatorship? So it seems to me. For the admin to always have the last word before closing a thread does not make things progress smoothly as you seemed to hope for.

This is my comment and I do hope it is noted. I read the entire thread about disappearing threads and saw no valid reason why it should have been closed. And this is my opinion so delete it if you must. If the goal was to make this site more open the opposite is being accomplished and I hope Tiger is happy about it because there are many who are not.

[Torq]

Hello warbaby,

Comment noted.

Be Well
T

[_ID_]

It was and is a foreseeable situation. It is sad isn't it.


Too many threads being closed or deleted lately. Does this mean we are now under a dictatorship? So it seems to me. For the admin to always have the last word before closing a thread does not make things progress smoothly as you seemed to hope for.

This is my comment and I do hope it is noted. I read the entire thread about disappearing threads and saw no valid reason why it should have been closed. And this is my opinion so delete it if you must. If the goal was to make this site more open the opposite is being accomplished and I hope Tiger is happy about it because there are many who are not.

[Torq]

Hello Again ALL,

AMAZEING TRUELY AMAZEING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Same as my "Enough" thread !!! ENOUGH !!!! There will NEVER be any way to please everyone!!!!!

If we leave threads open people bitch,,if we close threads people bitch,, if we delete threads people bitch, if we move threads people bitch, is it me or does ANYONE else here see a common thread here!!!!!!!

ENOUGH BITCHING!!!! Damn it !! This site is by no means being run as a dictatership as some are attempting to stir,,, its being OVERRUN by 3 or 4 members who just want to cause SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is stagnateing this site!!!!

Time to move on,, if some are so fuckin unhappy here and can't accept changes, always want to do nothing but stir shit, then MOVE ON !!!!!

**Shows some the door**

We are TRYING to change this site, for the better. For the ones who want new thoughts and ideas, both BDSM and vanilla items. For those who want LESS freakin drama and bullshit. For the ones who want a nice PEACEFUL exchange and good conversations.

**Again shows some the door**

ENOUGH Again,,, My apologies to the good contributing members who have to suffer thru this constant BULLSHIT,, sooner or later maybe we'll get things moving to a great site.

For those who care, and I know there are many, there will soon be a "Vision Statement" for the future and also a thread ASKING again for site improvemnts. Unfortunately i'm sure the "negative bullshit" members will find fault in that as well. OW but we will continue.

Thank you all who help!!!!!!

Respectfully,

Be Well
T

[thrall]

And i cant wait for the "vision statement"............

[thrall]

Hello Torq...........

sorry but i must ask another question..........

Did you make any rules about the levels of banning and what they should be called?

I have sugested in the past that disiplanary actions be called suspensions, and banned was for good???

[annie]

Hello Torq...........

sorry but i must ask another question..........

Did you make any rules about the levels of banning and what they should be called?

I have sugested in the past that disiplanary actions be called suspensions, and banned was for good???

There are levels for the disciplinary actions, which are being revised to match the new rules and will be posted when they are current. I believe T responded to that somewhere previously.

Although there are times, that alternate disciplinary measures are deemed necessary. At which point the person is warned in private concerning the issue in advance of any action occurring.

[thrall]

thanks Annie

[annie]

Anytime! :)

[Arria]

I wish to say that I loved this site because it was the exact opposite of other forum sites I knew - for the fact that there was no constant bitching, fighting, attempts at making war or controlling/taking over the site.

To witness what is going on here lately makes me sad.

I know that having the ultimate responsibility of something (be it a website or a CEO post in a company) is strenuous because it is not possible to make everyone happy, and no matter how hard you try, there is always someone sawing at the legs of your chair. This is why I prefer to be an Assistant in real life.
Meaning I am grateful that someone else is doing that job here, and I do not envy them or think I would do it better.

As I was absent during the beginnings of the fights, I don´t know who did what or whose fault it is, and I will not take sides.

But I wish to say that a sentence like "No form of forum discussion will be allowed about it. (...) This issue is NOT open for public discussion." shocked me deeply, as it sounds very much like Drittes Reich to me. (I daresay I am allowed to use this comparison as I am German myself.)
MIND: I did not mean to citate without the context, but the context was as described not open to public discussion.
Neither is this issue the point I critisize!
INDEPENDENT of the issue at hand, a sentence like that ALWAYS gives me a very, very bad gut feeling.

I do appreciate the fact that the people in charge of this site are trying to cut down the bitching/bullshitting going on at present, but is there no other way than being totalitarian?

The danger I see is that the amount of things being forbidden to discuss might increase and increase and increase. And yes, I am scared of that.

Please clarify. Thank you very much in advance.

Kind regards
Arria

[annie]

But I wish to say that a sentence like "No form of forum discussion will be allowed about it. (...) This issue is NOT open for public discussion." shocked me deeply, as it sounds very much like Drittes Reich to me. (I daresay I am allowed to use this comparison as I am German myself.)
MIND: I did not mean to citate without the context, but the context was as described not open to public discussion.
Neither is this issue the point I critisize!
INDEPENDENT of the issue at hand, a sentence like that ALWAYS gives me a very, very bad gut feeling.


Arria,

Since you did not quote the exact post that was stated in I am assuming it was mine when I closed a thread recently. The ONLY reason no form of forum discussion is allowed on that one subject is because of the fact that it is a private matter between the person involved and the administration. The entire board rehashing it for public fodder will have no positive effect except to continue the trouble which surrounded it. If someone wishes to voice an opinion or concern about it they are more then welcome to do so in pm to either Torq or myself. Which was also clearly stated in that post.

Just as when an employee is let go from a company the supervisors should not discuss information surrounding the case as it is a personnel issue for the organization and personal matter for the individual involved. That is the same intent that is being carried to the forums. And although we all know "water cooler" gossip will transpire in a company (just as it does here on YIM), it does nothing but add to the hurt and anger on both sides to have it publicly posted or discussed just as it doesn't benefit a company to have a group meeting about a situation of this nature.

No one but the ones involved know the full story and even then there is the "what was meant when said/typed factor" and the "what the perception was of what was heard/read factor."


I do appreciate the fact that the people in charge of this site are trying to cut down the bitching/bullshitting going on at present, but is there no other way than being totalitarian?

I'm sorry you view that statement as totalitarian. That was certainly not how it was meant... we want feedback and discussion on topics throughout the forums. That comment was meant in direct relation to the one situation only because further discussion on it isn't necessary as the decision was regretfully made based on circumstance that will not and can not be shared.

[Arria]

Hello annie

Yes, I referred to your post.
I did not and will not ask you for any reason, as (but I wrote this quite clearly) that issue was not the point I wanted to make.
Once again, the whole thing happened while I was busy elsewhere.

I would have reacted upon that sort of sentence in no matter what context, but I thought I had made that clear as well.

I don´t take sides when I don´t know all facts involved, and I am a big girl who knows that taking sides does no one any good, especially not upon having little to no knowledge about the surrounding situation.

Thanks for the statement, and it does reassure me that forbidding discussion is apparently not going to become general practice here.

As I said, that idea scared me.

Kind regards
Arria

[thrall]

No one but the ones involved know the full story and even then there is the "what was meant when said/typed factor" and the "what the perception was of what was heard/read factor."

I am so happy to see that you understand this point Annie

Yes........this can be a very very bad thing, especially when both parties are listening/seeing/talking in the heat of the moment......

The fallout and consequences can be horrible.


.......i believe that i can say this with first hand knowledge, and i have paid a heave price, for misreading/misunderstanding what others are sending me in text. Without the visual and aural aids.......written words are sometimes misconstrued or misunderstood........and when read with emotion.......a total train wreck.........

[wingsofanangel]

perception is a funny thing....

I perceive that most people falsely perceive things.

-shakes head-

tis why there are so many misunderstandings I do think.

[thrall]

*hugs*

[Phantome]

I like the new guidelines, especially the revised outlinking rules. I'm sorry I missed the opportunity to add my input- just got married, and I've just been way too busy to visit any of my regular forums. Anyway, you all did a great job- I look forward to a much more calm, less dramatic, and all around peaceful forum. Keep it up!
-Phantome

[annie]

I like the new guidelines, especially the revised outlinking rules. I'm sorry I missed the opportunity to add my input- just got married, and I've just been way too busy to visit any of my regular forums. Anyway, you all did a great job- I look forward to a much more calm, less dramatic, and all around peaceful forum. Keep it up!
-Phantome

Thanks Phantome! That's what we would like as well!

[Mishka]

Congrats on your wedding, Phantome. :)

[Arria]

I read the new guidelines and wish to say I think them well put and understandably written.

Congratulations to all involved. It must have been one hell of a job.

[Phantome]

Thanks, Mishka.
-Phan