Mind vs Body

[ladysinaz]

I'll start by saying i haven't posted that much yet, but having been ready quite a bit.. The are a bunch of you guys that are an absolute hoot :)
Look forward to getting to know everyone better.

My dilema at the moment being the body not able to do what the mind has in "mind" :)
I have one of those fun girly diseases that make even a vanilla sex life all but non existant..

There is a 50/50 shot (being generous) that having sex is going to be painful (and not the good kind) and even having a orgasm leads to abdominal pain that can last hours to days..
It goes without saying that this sucks ass

So in general and especially in this kind of stuff.. a lot of the "wow this is hot" :) stuff comes from the mental side of things..
However for me there is always this seed in the back of my mind that is telling my body not to bother cause something gonna be in pain afterwords.

If my body would do what my mind is up for :) hot damn

Has anyone had similar issues, or any advise on how to mentally get past this.
It's wierd its almost like.. if i am talking about stuff or reading about stuff i can get all excited because i know there is nothing physical going to happen. thus no "bad" pain
But if it is in person i shy away, and its like performing a root canal to get me horny *sigh

[annie]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Not sure I have any suggestions but I do have a question (that may then lead to a suggestion... maybe?). When you are aroused mentally from readying stuff is your body at all aroused as well? If yes, is there no way to carry that on, building a bit more each time to get more used to it?

Sorry, may not be helpful at all but the only thought that came to mind!

[TheVariableX]

Is this strictly a vaginal problem, because you may have other erogenous zones that you don't explore to their potential. I suppose if simply orgasm'ing hurts your out of luck however you do it.

If orgasming hurts, can I suggest an orgasm denial fetish :D Lots of fun, you can buy a set of shinny underwear and you only have to suffer the pain of an orgasm now and then.

[Flaming_Redhead]

Why not just get the physical ailment taken care of first? With the miracles of modern medicine, there's no point in suffering needlessly.

[His_little one]

Not knowing anymore details it's hard to help -- as Variable pointed out we don't know the scope of the problem. If this strictly is a vaginal penetration problem -- have you discovered the magic of clitoral orgasms? If it's any sexual activity and/or orgasm is a problem I'm with Red, treat the problem so you can enjoy sex again.

[ladysinaz]

I've never actually had an orgasm that wasn't clitoral.. so yeah i played that game :) Don't get me wrong i kinda like em, just suffer the consequences later.

It's Endometriosis if any of you have heard of it, I am trying a drastic measure to see if that helps ( hysterectomy hopefully if i can con the dr. into it)

I think my main issue is that subconsioucly i'm scared of the potential of pain, so my body does not allow itself to get aroused easily.It can happen. but there are few and far between that have either the know, the drive or the patience to pull it off. My bf wants to but..... I have gotten him poking around here to see how he react to it all ;)
To get things on a roll, i need to train my brain to stop freaking my body out, so to speak. There are times that vaginal sex is not painful. and i know there are an enormous pile of other fun things to do besides that even. If given the proper motivation.

And as there is lots of talk about the mental aspect here, and training ;) i thought it may be a good place to start a discussion.

It's kinda frusterating (normally and especially after discovering this place :) )
To just want to be tied in a knot, thrown down and be ravaged beyond all comprehension, then when advances are made. Just go Meh, i don't feel like it.

[GreyJack]

I was reading a bit about this condition, both Endometriosis and dyspareunia. The estimates of affected women in the general population varies (naturally), but millions have one or both conditions. Uteral lesions seems to be the major cause and, obviously, can be corrected by surgery, however, the psychological "wounds" are even more significant because of association. So called "phantom pains" like those felt by amputees can last long after the surgery is performed.

I agree with what others have said here about experimenting with non-penetrating sex and particularly the "go slow" approach to try to assuage the fear/pain factors. Similar types of fear/pain/insecurity can occur with women with other conditions, of course. I was with a woman over a few months who "found it impossible" to produce natural lubrication. It was a psychological problem affecting her "normal" physical responses to stimulation. And it took slow, careful, sensual "shifting" of her perception of stimulation as well as making her aware of the "good" sensations of (synthetic) lubrication to help overcome whatever the psychological 'block" was.

[ladysinaz]

Thats was a very helpfull read.

Do you have any tips i guess.. on what some of the things to do for the slowly. training her perception of things..

I find that i want to try things that will get me interested and less in fear of it all.. but sometimes at a loss for where to begin.
I still shy away from a lot of minor contact and trying with the help of my BF to get away from that.

I know a lot of stuff comes from ones imagination, but i find a few good starting points help get our own imaginations on the move :)

[MrDom]

lady my girl dosen't have your problem and this may not help you. But it is a suggestion that you could try She her problem is she is very sallow and if i would penatre her fully she would have excurating pain. I could only enter her paratlly. So I came up with a idea to help her too take more than 4". What we did was go out and buy several size of anal plug and slowly started too strecth her. we buoght different length and with. we start out with a very small plug about 3 inches in lenght and about 1 inch thick we/she is now she is up too a 2 1/8 by 7 inch long plug with now pain now and she can keep it in herself up too 2 hours and having wonderful orgams now with no problems. This is just a thought and something you can think about.
But first i would try and see a therapsy and talk with them for some help also they may have some better ideas.

MrDom