relationships

[rushfortomorow]

I have been in and out of this forum on various names for about a year and a half. I find myself being distracted with work and school but in this time, anytime a relationship opportunity came into view I would not go anywhere with it. I would wonder if my love for submission ruin the relationship. which brings me to my first question does anyone find it hard starting a relationship not knowing if the persons sexual desires are the same? Also if you and your partners desires are vastly different do you feel cut off, not being able to express that part of yourself sexually?

[jtkarate01]

I find that the best thing to do it talk about your desires, fantasies.

For me i can't see starting a relationship without talking about your sexuality. Have you thought about just being completely open...or at least start small talk about your vanilla experience, and your partners, and see how she discusses things.

I also know I personally could not start a relationship unless i was comfortable enough with someone to discuss my life...and to me that includes my sexuality.

I wish you all the best, and i hope other will offer there advise on this subject also.

JT

[good_girl]

does anyone find it hard starting a relationship not knowing if the persons sexual desires are the same?

YES!!!! but on the flip side...I find when I do let my desires be known then guys seem to forget that I am a person as well. I have had guys completely forget why they started talking to me in the first place as soon as I reveal that I am interested in BDSM. It is very important to me that anyone I am going to persue any kind of relationship with is sexually compatable as well as compatable outside of the bedroom...how does one find a happy medium...or am I just talking to the wrong guys??

[Flaming_Redhead]

does anyone find it hard starting a relationship not knowing if the persons sexual desires are the same? Also if you and your partners desires are vastly different do you feel cut off, not being able to express that part of yourself sexually?

I have tried dating in the vanilla world, and let me tell you, it's invariably disappointing. I actually had 2 guys flip out when I told them what I liked. *eye roll* The majority of them were boring as hell. The fun ones would play along, but they weren't really "into" it. My advice to you and to anyone else who has a fetish...or 5....is to STOP WASTING YOUR TIME AND THEIRS!!!! The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. There are BDSM-oriented dating web sites, night clubs, dungeons, munches, etc., where you can meet people with similar interests. I used collarme.com and have been with my dominant for 9 months. I wish you the best of luck in your search!

[submissivemark]

I have tried dating in the vanilla world, and let me tell you, it's invariably disappointing. I actually had 2 guys flip out when I told them what I liked. *eye roll* The majority of them were boring as hell. The fun ones would play along, but they weren't really "into" it. My advice to you and to anyone else who has a fetish...or 5....is to STOP WASTING YOUR TIME AND THEIRS!!!! The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. There are BDSM-oriented dating web sites, night clubs, dungeons, munches, etc., where you can meet people with similar interests. I used collarme.com and have been with my dominant for 9 months. I wish you the best of luck in your search!

I agree with Redhead. If you are lifestyle oriented, (either Dom or sub), a vanilla relationship may provide short term satisfaction, but in the long it's likely to be very disappointing.

Be true to yourself & take the time to meet the right person for you in every way possible. I did.

:cool: