subs obedience

[subserviant]

i asked the ? in the main room if a sub should be made to swallow when shes giving her Domm oral and the general agrremaent was that she shuoldnt have to if it bothered her , not that it made her sick or any thing just that she didnt want becuase the thought of swallowing made her feel uneasy.I disagree and think asub shuold be made to swallow . I wonder what would happen if her Domm felt the sub needed to be punished and she refused , the relation ship would be over , after all it is a Dom sub relationship not a democracy where evb gets a vote on whats going ot happen

[badlyguidedlittlemis]

If a sub feels uneasy about doing a certain activity/task, he or she should not feel obliged in any way to do said activity/task. I would consider the activity/task a limit for that sub.
If the sub needed to be punished, I personally do not feel that a limit should be used. Limits are there and should be respected.
If a dom ended a relationship because of refusing to do something which was a limit, I believe the dom would be acting unreasonably.
The relationship between a dom and sub is not governed by one set of rules, they are set by the parties involved. A submissive can have as much say as the 'rules' of the relationship dictate.

[subserviant]

I guess i should have made it clearer that it would be a soft limit , and it was not part of the punishment when i said that it was to make a point that the Domm is still theDomm and just because asub feels she dosnet feel like taking punishment shuold the Domm punish her anyway .If my Domm asks me to do some thing like up his shirt from the cleaners and i say the hell with it and dont do it , yet i want to stay in the relationship ,my Domm asks me why and flip him off with a smart ass repley , he then deciedes its time to punish me , do i have the right to say no even though i want the relationship to continue. I dont think i do . With regard to hte swallowing i can see if its going to bring up things the sub cant deal with then i agree with u but in this case its saying no to swalowing because the sub just dosent want to . i dont know but ithink the Domm has the right to demand it maybe im wrong but its the way i feel

[badlyguidedlittlemis]

If my Domm asks me to do some thing like up his shirt from the cleaners and i say the hell with it and dont do it , yet i want to stay in the relationship ,my Domm asks me why and flip him off with a smart ass repley , he then deciedes its time to punish me , do i have the right to say no even though i want the relationship to continue. I dont think i do.

If a Dom has asked a sub to carry out a task, the sub should carry it out within a reasonable time frame for that task and to the best of their ability. I do not believe that the sub should 'just not do it' if there is not a good reason for them not to have done it. If the sub can not, or does not want to do the task, they may discuss this with the Dom, but at the end of the day it is the Dom's final say depending on the 'rules' in the relationship.


With regard to hte swallowing i can see if its going to bring up things the sub cant deal with then i agree with u but in this case its saying no to swalowing because the sub just dosent want to . i dont know but ithink the Domm has the right to demand it maybe im wrong but its the way i feel

The Dom has no right to demand something which is a limit for you, even if it's a soft one. Limits are yours, for your reasons and you do not have to cross them if you do not want to.

[subserviant]

hum i guess im thinking of a different relatonship , i want my Domm to able to control me in most caseses and the call would be his with re gard to punishment and swallowing but thats my perreference guees iwant a strong Domm

[sidhewolf]

I guess i should have made it clearer that it would be a soft limit , and it was not part of the punishment when i said that it was to make a point that the Domm is still theDomm and just because asub feels she dosnet feel like taking punishment shuold the Domm punish her anyway .If my Domm asks me to do some thing like up his shirt from the cleaners and i say the hell with it and dont do it , yet i want to stay in the relationship ,my Domm asks me why and flip him off with a smart ass repley , he then deciedes its time to punish me , do i have the right to say no even though i want the relationship to continue. I dont think i do . With regard to hte swallowing i can see if its going to bring up things the sub cant deal with then i agree with u but in this case its saying no to swalowing because the sub just dosent want to . i dont know but ithink the Domm has the right to demand it maybe im wrong but its the way i feel

Hello Subserviant and All~

*To me* a soft Limit is a Training issue for the PPL involved. If it's something the Dom/me wants, expects, or demands, then that Dom/me Should have it, AND the pleasure of the Submissive or Slave may be limited only to having Obeyed and Given what was required....but for many this is enough, and even the point to begin with. What is Serving without Serving? Proper Training can most times overcome the soft resistance to something a Submissive may find unappealing at first, sometimes not. But if whatever it is is not a previously discussed Hard Limit, it either Needs to be discussed if it is in fact a Hard Limit for Anyone participating, and the Dom/me's wishes carried out if it's a soft limit.

I can think back to my earlier days when there were many things I *thought* I may not like, or for some reason *seemed* distastefull or scarey to me...and How Much I would have missed out on IF the Dom had listened to my objections <G>. Thank Goodness there was Training available to me instead.

I Agree that a Hard Limit is what it is. Not Negotiable, or to be crossed by Anyone.

Check Lists in the beginning of any Power Exchange Relationship is a good thing I think. They help avoid some issues later on.

Just my thoughts and experience, no one else's.

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[subserviant]

i agree with sidhewolf fully she said it so much better than i did

[Ozme52]

It's pretty much been covered.


Hard Limit - No to forcing. No to insisting. No to punishing.
Soft Limit - Work up to it. Communicate the concerns. Practice practice practice. Corn starch and water to make a goop for dealing with texture issues. You can figure out what to flavor it with to deal with flavor issues. A med-test if you're concerned with health issues.
Not in the Mood - It depends on the nature of the relationship, but discipline of some sort seems appropriate. It would be within my relationship.

[subserviant]

ty Ozme52 that was what i was getting at

[Sir_Russell]

I personally would refuse to accept a sub/slave that would not swallow for me. So it is a good reason to go through a complete check list and compare notes. If, as in my questionaire, she put a no on swallowing cum and I have put a 5 (top ranking) on having my cum swallowed then we have a large problem add up 2 or 3 of these and it shows that your not right for each other.

I am willing for the right sub/slave to do without certain things but I also know the ones I truly won't ever give up and still be happy.