fantasy change

[DOMLORD]

has anyone ever had any child hood fantasies about being submisive, only to hit high school and find out that they have a stronger dominant side?

[Tojo]

Well high school was a few decades ago, but I always had submissive fantasies until a few years ago.

Things change, & people change- that's something well worth remembering...

[gagged_Louise]

I know women who have been happily living in straight marriages (and considering themselves straight)and then, past 50, have "come out" as lesbians. There are a few here on the Forum also whom I know have gone from submissive to showing a strongly Dominant side - DungeonMaster6 is one - but with these people, they were sort of trained as r/l submissives, entered in that role, so it wasn't like "when I moved from fantasies to reality, it also switched from sub to Dom".

[TomOfSweden]

I had very strong submissive urges up until I lost my virginity. I'd always heard I was a born leader all my life, but I didn't understand what everybody was on about until my early 20'ies.

I'm still not sure if I'm dominant because I'm trying to fit in with my nature, or if I was a dominant in denial.

It often feels like I'm dominant because for me it's the least resistance. At least as far as my mental make up is concerned. For me taking conflicts head on and sticking out is the least emotionally stressful thing for me to do. I don't blend in well in crowds. Not if I'm not trying hard.

I still get turned on by fantasizing that I'm submissive. I even fantasize about being a woman.... hmm.... but then again I can get turned on by virtually anything, so that's not saying much....

[Sir_Russell]

NO, no and no. I can't remember being willing submissive in my life. Now that is not to say that some guy that was older and bigger when I was in my young teens may have forced me to do crap I didn't want to but that is about it.

[DowntownAmber]

My submissive leanings were there from pretty early on (early teens at least), however as I grew and became sexually active it was my Dom side that really appeared in my r/l interactions.

Looking back, I suspect that is because I had very little success finding men I truly respected as Dominants and instead of being disapponted and discouraged I just turned the tables and put myself in the top role. In my current relationship I do tease and play with J occasionally as if I'm gonna' try and top him, but those "games" aways end with a "subbie revolt" and J putting me quite soundly back into my place... ;)

The point being, for me going against my natural inclinations was either a sign that a) I was not with the correct partner or b) I was having troubles feeling comfortable with my own identity in the relationship.

[Ozme52]

Nope. I dreamt dom dreams even before I hit puberty... before I knew what sex was per se... I dreamt of woman in chains, under the whip, and attached to machines that stretched them out and held them helpless...

and then I grew up and added a few really dominant traits to the mix.

[Logic1]

Same here. I never had any submissive dreams or urges. Just the Dominant ones from quite early on.

[prettyredbows]

This doesn't really answer your question about being submissive at a younger age. But, looking back to when I was a young girl, I was dominant in nature. One of my favorite things to do with my dolls was to tie them up and then spank them. Please don't think I'm strange or anything like that, but I would get so much enjoyment and could spend hours doing bad things to them.

You'd never know that I did those things because outwardly, I was a rule-follower and was considered a 'good girl'. I think I began to have stirrings of submissiveness after I graduated from high school. I'm not sure why or how it happened but I do know my personality even changed. The men I preferred to date were strong, they knew what they wanted and they were a bit rough. I liked catering to them, bending to fit their needs. I wanted to be that way for them – it just seemed right.

[minxs_mistress]

I always thought I was submissive when I was younger, then I met my minx and surprise surprise! I found my dominant side. She brings out parts of me that I didn't know were there and I do the same with her. I'm not sure if I could be dominant with anyone else, but with her it just feels so damn right.

[DOMLORD]

thanks for sharing guys