Pro-sub or Dom(m)ing - opinion?

[ohmytalia]

Hey A/all,

In my life I have had the opportunity to work as a pro-sub, and have many friends that continue to work, either as subs, Dommes, or switches. I have never shared this information with the local community I'm involved in because I'm not sure how they would take it. The ones that saw me while I was working maintain that it would be viewed positively, but I'm skeptical (it certainly was positive for me though!).

What is the general player's opinion of working professionally?

Do you view it as empowering and enlightening? Is is good for showing D/s to the kink-curious? Or do you feel it devalues the relationship between a Dominant and submissive?

I realize a two-three hour scene, as most of these are, has absolutely nothing on the connection between two people established and developed over time.

[icey]

i dont mean to be offensive sorry but i dont see it as a positive or a negative thing, my only opinion is the obvious and thats always ensure you have safety measures in place and always use condoms,take regular check ups etc...its a job just like any other.

perhaps more fun at times tho ;)

[angelic.zest]

im with icey, i dont view it has positive or negative "different strokes for different folks* safety, safety, safety!! i think its an hot idea to be a Pro-sub, i know i personally couldnt do it but i have to take my hat off to you! *smiles*....

[Ozme52]

So is it really being a pro-sub? or is that just the common term...

Seems like being a pro-bottom is more descriptive of what occurs.

I guess the same question applies to the concept of a professional dominatrix... but of course... pro-top doesn't evoke quite the same image. ;)

[Tojo]

Well I sure don't have any disrespect for you ohmytalia- I think you're providing a much needed service.

Your last sentence particularly impressed me- you seem to know your stuff.

All the best. :icon176:

[Alex Bragi]

What is the general player's opinion of working professionally?

Do you view it as empowering and enlightening? Is is good for showing D/s to the kink-curious? Or do you feel it devalues the relationship between a Dominant and submissive?

I realize a two-three hour scene, as most of these are, has absolutely nothing on the connection between two people established and developed over time.

Well, like those before me, I'm not about to judge you either. If you're comfortable with it I don't see any problem. :)

It's a job--a way to make a living. There's a demand and you're (part of) the supply.

Do I feel it "devalues the relationship between a Dominant and submissive?" Does general prostitution devalues a relationship between lovers? Of course not--one's a paid by the hour professional service the other's an intimate and emotional relationship/commitment.

[gagged_Louise]

Pro Dommes seem to be a bit more numerous than outright professional subs - I've seen a few homepages for Dominatrixes but not a single one for a pro r/l submissive. I see it could be exciting - like Zesty I could never do it myself - but the risks of abuse or blackmail by cuistomers could be high and very hard to handle, especially if one were catering to people who are not regular and experienced bdsm'ers, and whom one doesn't know. When you offer a 2-3 hours session I suppose it's on a "no full-on sex basis" (no full intercourse, no deep throating, and so on) but how could you control that if you're bound and serving a client you have never met before?

For myself I think there's a big difference between doing a job with my hands or brain and offering up my body and privates to be used for wage work, but I accept this isn't such a sharp difference for everyone.

What follows is not aimed at you personally, ohmytalia, but more general:
"Sex workers" (~escorts) often claim "I can judge my customers, I never let myself be forced, the control stays with me and I love the job" but when it's said just like that, it sounds more like what you say to brush off any embarrassing and potentially degrading questions by "outsiders". If you are attacked, beaten up, raped and robbed, the police are not terribly likely to be able to find the assailant/s and get him (or them) to court, are they? It's not something that lands high on the priority list of cops who will often think "A hooker is a hooker, and what about this? even a masochist hooker?! Bah!"

Of course, if one has an efficient "safety net" protecting your personal security and meaning you don't have to accept any one customer whom you don't want, then it would be fine, but my feeling is some s/m "escorts"/subs (or ordinary 'sex suppliers' who sometimes drift into providing submissive 'kinky services' -bondage scenes, watersports, candle play etc) in a competitive market may not have that kind of reliable support network, and then they are forced to take big risks or just accept doing things they really find quite degrading.

[ohmytalia]

First off, I guess I forgot to add its a no-sex position and occurs in a safe and supportive environment...

Ozme52: Pro-bottom is the best description for sure. We used to have a running joke that we weren't selling submission but co-operation. Certainly I submitted to a favourite client or two but the vast majority of the time I got to be an actress playing a scene (that just happened to usually get me spanked :D)

Louise: I didn't get to choose my customers but a lot of them were regulars for many years with the dungeon. When I was working there were a few I didn't like but they were few and far between. I think there are empowering ways of going about it, with all the precautions that you outlined, but maybe the negative is more frequent.

Thanks for sharing E/everyone, Y/you've really helped me re-evaluate my perspective!

[Sir_Russell]

There is the difference "no sex" so that makes it mostly a fantasy. I prefer to live the Life not fantasize about it. I don't think that being a pro is the right term here but then not sure what is. My payment for Dommings is her submissiveness that she is really allowing me to have control over her body and mind. That makes me a pro because I she is paying me with a value that money can't.