Slave training/discipline

[alpha_fem]

Greetings! First of all, I'm new here, so allow me to say hello from Wisconsin. It's great to be here :)
I came because I was looking for a place to get information as my D/s relationship evolves. Here is my first question for you:
I have a slave who has been with me for approximately 3 years now, although we were kind of stumbling through it for much of that time. I won't bore you with all the details, but suffice it to say that I finally decided it's time to end the stumbling and get serious about things. I had asked him one time, about a year ago, if he really wanted to be my slave, because I would become serious about his training and help him along if he was. He responded by saying, "I don't know". I let that ride from that time until a few nights ago, when I told him he'd had long enough to decide, and that I needed an answer. His answer was yes. NOW, finally, for the question:
Since we never really WERE in what I'd consider a D/s or M/s relationship I will have to train him from the beginning. He is a very good submissive, but a very bad slave (in my opinion). It's mostly a mindset, or personality thing, but I don't really need to go into a lot of detail on this just to ask a question. I'd like to implement a points and/or demerit system, and am looking for suggestions on punishments to go along with the demeritis. The only thing I've really used on this particular submissive has been to ignore him, or show him my dissatisfaction...but I feel I really need to kick it up a notch. With that in mind, I'd be greatly appreciative to learn of methods of punishment (not S/M play, but actual punishment) you all implement in your own D/s or M/s relationships.

Thank you for your help.

[jaro_99]

OK - well as a first suggestion...

Training obviously is about more than punishment. For me, getting the right frame of mind is the key to a 'good' slave and one who feels fulfilled in themselves - knowing that any time during the day they can readily feel their status as an owned slave, that its something they start to identify with almost naturally hether or not there's any formal play or tasking going on.

So routines are important. Start with one or two simple rules for the slave to obey at all times...then gradually load these up getting more numerous and more complex. They can range from little things (like always carrying a certain special item when outside the house) to the more elaborate (like some complicated procedure for using the toilet). The range is bounded only by your imagination and desires. You could even introduce 'service' with a particular routine aimed at providing something for yourself. Some routines can be made permanent - others might be set only for a week or a month.

Then you have not only the basis for training (IMO) but obviously an opportunity to introduce punishment as it is required. The more minor tasks can have a lighter punishment...the more complex and the more 'important' can have something heavier. And of course over time you can increase your expectations of the slave's compliance and ratchet up the punishment accordingly.

You might want to be a little careful on the point of when and how to punish. A task which is extremely difficult or a routine which is very complex perhaps should not attract a severe punishment - a Dom or owner needs (again IMO) to be thinking about the limits or capacities of the slave. Though of course over time their capacities should be developed and so less 'slack' should be needed.

Now - you'd asked about punishments. Again, the boundaries are your imagination and desires. I'd truly advise against using pain which might be erotic in other ways - flogging or clamps etc. Especially corporal punishment - its never a good idea to have one's own frustration or anger carried through into the punishment. You want to correct and train them - not reduce the erotic value of this kind of play by associating it with punishment.

I find its best to experiment with the slave's own limits and dislikes. 'Public' toilet activities were a big mental challenge for a former slave of mine - so infractions of rules could sometimes result in being made to piss outdoors for a week. A day of wearing a butt plug might be something similar for a male slave (depending on the individual)...especially if they are instructed to insert it themselves. Small glass marbles while out shopping without knickers were another big barrier for her (in her cunt...dunno about butthole). Though even just having a personal website or an on-line diary where they can 'confess' their indiscretions and describe the punishment can be very helpful as well.

Remember, the thing is to be training their mind so that they more naturally think of themselves in their daily life as your slave. So punishments ideally will involve further, more demanding, obedience rather than simple 'retribution'.

The pay-off for you in all this is that the slave actually gets some additional training - they become less inhibited by these seemingly difficult or 'no I couldn't possibly!!!' sorts of tasks which gives you more scope for play and tasks and obedience down the track.

But don't feel pressured or daunted - plenty of things will come to mind I am sure, it all depends on how you two interact as a couple.

Good luck...and have fun!

J