Forms of Address

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

As I am new here, I wasn't sure if this would be the correct place to post this. If it is not, I sincerely apologize.
My question is: what is the correct form of address here concerning Dom/mes in the chat rooms? A couple of the Doms have questioned my use of the word "Sir" when addressing Them. None of the Dommes so far have questioned my addressing Them as "Ma'am." When I first entered the BDSM community almost 10 years ago I first was in Gor online. There I was trained to address all Gorean men under the title of "Master" and not to use "Sir." After I left Gor and went into other BDSM rooms I began to follow suit of the other slaves/subs and have since then called Doms "Sir" and Dommes "Ma'am."
I realize that this may not appear to be a big deal to some, but after using this protocol for almost 10 years, it is little hard to stop. If I use the title and the Dom/me asks me to stop, then I certainly will. Though only a couple have done so since I have been here. So I would like to know if using those titles is appropriate here or should I stop?

[Red Dragon {mpellegrino}]

we are pretty laid back here dear lady. Most Doms will like to be called Sir and Master is usually kept for ones own Dom if that is their preference. There are no hard rules here. I find that in my experience it has never been an issue in the room.

Some will tell you they prefer not to be called Sir but they will not think less of you for having done so. We do not strictly adhere to the upper/lower case protocol either. So whilst most capped will be Dom/Domme best to check profiles to make sure. The same in reverse would apply to subs.

In general all here are welcome as long as they do not harm anyone else.

My preference is Red, Dragon or RD. I don't require Sir as a given as I feel it should be a title earned through respect but others have different ideas that I respect.

I welcome you and hope to see you a lot more in the future.

I wish you well.

Dragon

[annie]

This is just my personal opinion but in an online format such as this and the way I was trained "Sir" and "Ma'am" are signs of respect and unless I know someone here really really well using either of those negates the respect factor that I personally associate with the word. Therefore, I seldom use the titles and opt instead to be polite and use the person's id/name.

I haven't been in chat a lot lately but I don't know of many here who require "Sir" to be used. And none who expect to be called "Master" except by theirs. I do know of several Dommes who dislike the word "Ma'am" and will ask you not to use it.

Personally, someone I just met requiring me to use "Sir," "Ma'am," or "Master/Mistress" would send up HUGE red flags to me as to if they are even worthy of such honor.

[yourlilslave86]

I think it really depends on the person. When I am with my Master I am required to address Him as that or the names He has requested I do. With people in the chat room sometimes I attach the "Sir" to it other times I don't.

[Uncle_Ed.]

I believe that I'm the one who started this off? I am deeply appreciative of a sub who calls me "Sir" but prefer to be just Ed. (I get very twitchy when called "Sir" by either minxy or cariad..it's bound to mean grief...)

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I wanted to thank E/everyone for the reponses. Every chat room that I have gone into has its own protocol, I've noticed. I would never call a Dom "Master," since no one here is my Master and that title is reserved for the subs/slaves of that Dom. And there doesn't seem to be many Goreans here. I have been instructed in other chat rooms where Goreans frequent to call the free men as "Master." But I started doing that years ago when I was in Gor and I still do, even though I am no longer a kajira.
If a person comes into the room and it is not immediately noticeable that person is a Dom/me, then I check the profile just to make sure. So far E/everyone has been very nice and polite when it comes to me addressing Them as "Sir" or "Ma'am." No one has jumped down my throat about it, and I appreciate that! It's just that I've called Dom/mes by these titles for so many years now that it's hard to stop doing so. At least I know that I'm not stepping on too many toes and people have been nice about it so far.

[_ID_]

I prefer ID, but if called Sir, I wouldn't correct the person doing so.

[GearJammer]

D/s "protocol" is not the only place this issue comes up.

I was raised to call ALL my elders "sir" and "ma'am" and upon entry into the Navy, had to learn a whole new protocol. I did that, but not instantly.

The primary difference here, of course, is that there actually is no specific protocol, defined as such (thank god, or I'd not be here long).

So, here is a great place for you to employ that which you have learned in various places, and been trained in (also in various places), and thereby learn your proper fit in this place.

I give you my best wishes in doing so.

Additionally, I echo Red Dragon's well stated post.

[thepast]

Well, as the Chat Administrator, I can officially say that the chatroom here is laid back, low key, and there is NO protocols observed in the room, beyond the mandatory basic level of respect for everyone--Dom/me, sub, switch, other--that you would have for anyone in r/l. What you choose to call people is your own decision. Some feel comfortable calling a Dominant "Sir/Ma'am", some don't, completely up to you. I personally call no one Sir/Ma'am except for my Owner. If anyone "demands" to be called something, let a chat mod (in gold), or myself know, and we'll be sure to have a word with them--there are no demands in the room, beyond basic respect.

Hope to see you around!

Play hard, play safe,

delia

[icey]

if you are more comfortable with the use of titles perhaps you could ask respectfully their preferences? that way nobodys offended and you know where you stand.

i am always respectful to people Dom/me sub slave or switch which is the most important thing but i would never ever use a title they are not my Masters Mistresses etc i wouldnt be comfortable and im not allowed to anyway.

[MitchC]

For myself, I feel most comfortable being called just Mitch. This is because at present, I am not a sub of any forum female doms, nor am I a dom of any forum female subs. That having been said, if there are subs that feel most comfortable addressing me as "Sir", I am okay with that. The most important thing I realize here is just that everyone treat one another with dignity and respect, regardless of the title they are addressed by. I always try to follow this rule in my interaction with members of the forum, and hope they will in turn do so when interacting with me.

Mitch