Limits?

[silver9]

I was just wondering what limits you would go to, not in the sense of things in sex/play; but more in lifestyle things and household rules.

I was thinking about it since there seem to be a lot of people who have Masters/Mistresses who tell them what to wear in public, but for me that would be something I'd hate and honesty would have to say no to.

Or with things such as wearing collars in public, or cooking dinners, cleaning, your life with vanillas, social life, job etc.

Just was thinking and wondering what kind of rules and limits subs/slaves have :)

[gemmy]

I think that is something two people work out on their own as we all have our own level of what works for us.

Some want a 24/7 TPE relationship to those who only see BDSM as a bedroom role-play event once in awhile.

Obviously the decision is yours and by knowing what you want and don't, you'll be better equipped to pick the Dominant that suits you best ;)

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I wear my collar 24/7 and while Master doesn't demand that I wear particular clothes, He will pick them out for me if He really wants me to wear something. I always do the cooking and cleaning. And up until a few months ago I had a job (I had to leave for health reasons, though I am in the process of job hunting now). Since W/we don't know any other D/s couples, O/our friends are vanilla (though my best friend is beginning to go towards the kinky lifestyle).

[lily27]

On another forum there was a very similiar question posed to slaves, and it was quite interesting what non-sexual hard limits they have. Most of them were seemingly frivolous until you think about them for a while.

I think my favourite was a women who would never stop dying her hair (gotta hide those greys!).

I would have to give it some thought as to what my own would be.

[Isabella King]

I pretty much do as I am told and enjoy living under his restrictions - I still get a flutter in my belly when he picks out my clothes and I love it when he allows me to join him in his bed. It only excites me more when he insists on chaining me to it. :)

I don't go out to work and we have no children so my husband is able to exercise almost total control over my clothes, my actions, my life...although when he's not here I'm afraid I don't always obey his rules to the letter ;)

I hate having the use of my hands restricted for any length of time and he seems to have come up with 1001 ways to taunt me - from taping my thumbs to the palms of my hands to cuffing them behind my back. I get a thrill out of it during sex but at other times he tends to use it just to remind me that he can :rolleyes:

He also cuts my hair and I would hate it if he wanted to cut it too short - thankfully, he prefers it long.

[gemmy]

I think my favourite was a women who would never stop dying her hair (gotta hide those greys!).

hmmmmm that is interesting - I guess I've never really thought it down to that stage of micromanagement but hell yea - I would hate to not be able to cover the grey I have even if it's only a couple lol

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I've been dying my hair for years, long before I had grey hair and long before I met Master. I started dying it because my natural color was boring to me. Now I can't even remember what shade it used to be (some sort of brown, I think)! I really hate the process of actually dying it, because it takes so damn long. And Master is the point who will point to my hair and tell me to dye it.

[icey]

depends what mood im in lol none really as we tend to agree on most things i think my main ones would be no way would i shave my hair or have it cut short luckily he loves long hair .

and while i dont wear underwear if its an outfit that needs it or we are going somewhere that i would be very uncomfortable without then i wear them but thats something he expects and tells me to do anyway.

and anything that would affect my children in any shape or form is a no go which goes without saying,and if there's anything we do disagree on then we discuss why and both come to an agreement.

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

i agree that limits of any kind are highly individualized from couple to couple, but kudos for this thread! i can honestly say that this is the first time i've heard of limits discussed outside of the bedroom/play area. It is an interesting question and one that i would have to consider. i agree with icey that anything that would affect my children is a no go for sure. i would hate to cut my hair as i'm partial to long hair (more to hold on to..*grins*). i would not mind someone else picking my clothes out. If it pleased him to see me in something, why wouldn't i want to wear it? Great discussion, and i'll be returning as i think of more things.

[gemmy]

hehehe yes, I must admit having a Master pick out an outfit for me would be kind of thrilling - to know it's something that would really please Him would be so much fun lol

on second thought.....what if it's something completely risque and He's taking you out in daylit public? Hmmmmm lol a double-edged sword perhaps? lol

[icey]

ahh but its a great excuse for an exhibitionist :)

believe me its not always much fun when you're clothes are picked for you! you should try going out in gale force winds with nothing but a flimsy short skirt and crop top,especially when said winds blows up your skirt to reveal no underwear lol

[gemmy]

ahh but its a great excuse for an exhibitionist :)

which I most certainly am not so yea (unless you count showing off a fabulously done photo of my butt haha!), could see that part not being so much fun lol

[subserviant]

subs may have a say in what they do but a slave has no say .the slaves lot is to obey no matter what the dome wants .if u cant stand the heat get out of slavedom

[lily27]

subs may have a say in what they do but a slave has no say .the slaves lot is to obey no matter what the dome wants .if u cant stand the heat get out of slavedom

This is so wrong I don't even know where to begin. But I will come back to it.

[stripedangel]

subs may have a say in what they do but a slave has no say .the slaves lot is to obey no matter what the dome wants .if u cant stand the heat get out of slavedom


Some do just that, and feel just that way. It all depends on what extent you are willing to carry things to. subserviant is correct....for herself. Not for me. i am a slave and i do have a few limits, though not very many.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11613&highlight=slave+contract

This is an example of a slave contract that might help you to understand a bit better.

[cadence]

I have always wondered about the dress codes (restrictions) that are placed on submissives.
I am basically talking about the sexy clothing that gets worn out in public.

I am all for short skirts, and cleavage. I only wear skirts, rarely am I seen in pants (no dress code is imposed upon me). I prefer skirts above the knee, and sometimes a bit of cleavage, and I can wear those things at work without looking out of the ordinary. I keep my clothing conservative to a degree.
I am not bashing Dom's but I wonder how far they do go when choosing an outfit.

There is a difference with older women and what they can and cannot wear.
I have seen many women my age and older wearing clothing that need to be seriously given back to the twenty year olds. I just find that tacky.

So I wonder, do the Dominants pick out clothing that is sexy yet still fashionable for the submissive, or do they go for the tarty look.

I for one would seriously negotiate my clothing, there is a limit there for me. Even going out to a bar would warrant clothing that I would have to feel comfortable with.
I want to be the submissive that is attractive, appealling, sexy, and fashionable too.

[gemmy]

I have always wondered about the dress codes (restrictions) that are placed on submissives.
I am basically talking about the sexy clothing that gets worn out in public.

I am all for short skirts, and cleavage. I only wear skirts, rarely am I seen in pants (no dress code is imposed upon me). I prefer skirts above the knee, and sometimes a bit of cleavage, and I can wear those things at work without looking out of the ordinary. I keep my clothing conservative to a degree.
I am not bashing Dom's but I wonder how far they do go when choosing an outfit.

There is a difference with older women and what they can and cannot wear.
I have seen many women my age and older wearing clothing that need to be seriously given back to the twenty year olds. I just find that tacky.

So I wonder, do the Dominants pick out clothing that is sexy yet still fashionable for the submissive, or do they go for the tarty look.

I for one would seriously negotiate my clothing, there is a limit there for me. Even going out to a bar would warrant clothing that I would have to feel comfortable with.
I want to be the submissive that is attractive, appealling, sexy, and fashionable too.

Nicely said cadence - there sometimes is more to be said with an alluring sexy class than crass ;)

[cadence]

To answer the original question since I snuck in my own.

I don't mind being micromanaged at all. You could probably set up my whole day for cleaning, cooking, and all the other menial tasks that we do at home.

I would need to have a job, unless I met someone who could afford to let me stay at home.
I need at least two to three hours to practice and study a day, and that is non-negotiable.

Anything non-sexual would have to be thoroughly discussed first.
I don't want to shave my head, nor have peircings.

Anything else is up for grabs.

[jeanne]

I had to think about this for a while.

Everyday limits?
-Won't stop coloring my hair. And would NEVER shave my head voluntarily.
-Wouldn't like having my clothes picked out for me day after day after day. Once in a while is hot, though. :D
-Would not quit my job. I love it and love the money I make.
-Could not give up time to myself. It's my most valuable commodity, and I don't have enough of it in my vanilla life.
-Piercings? No.
-Tattoos? Probably not.
-Collar? Yes.

In thinking about this over the past few days, I've come to the conclusion that I'm definitely not suited to a 24/7 M/s relationship. At least not by the harsh "no rights, no limits" definition, which for many is the "gold standard". That level of dependence is not for me. That being said, I'm fortunate that He gives me the opportunity to live 24/7 D/s with Him for a week at a time every few months, in a manner that works for both of us. Each time I learn a little bit more about how to please Him...each time I spend a little longer at His feet...each time I surrender a little bit more of myself. And it's perfect for me. He's perfect for me. :)

[jeanne]

One other thing...

For many, a 24/7 M/s relationship is a source of great joy and comfort. I didn't want to leave the impression that I look upon that with disdain...and perhaps if life were different and that were a possibility for us, I'd be more open to it. But for now, it's not in my realm of reality or possibility...so not for me.