S.R.I.'s: The "Sexual Related Injury."

[DowntownAmber]

Have you ever sprained an ankle slipping while having sex in the shower? Accidentally knocked your sub's head into the doorjamb while carrying her into the bedroom for a romantic interlude? Fallen off the bed and landed on a pair of recently removed stillettos?

Yes, sometimes accidents happen and sometimes they are none to graceful. The "after effects," whether they be a simple abrasion or something that requires a trip to the E.R., can often be even more awkward than the actual event. Master and I have coined a term for these mishaps: The S.R.I. (Sexual Related Injury).

So, forum posters, let's have a little fun and chime in with our own S.R.I. adventures. If there's enough interest, I'll talk J-Go into sharing the "black eye incident..." *weg*

[jeanne]

I'll share! (I hope He doesn't mind :D)

One day, playing, He grabbed my hair and bent me over a table, face down. This was the first time He'd ever done that, and I learned a very valuable lesson.

Cue wise old Chinese man accent:
"When face meeting table, turn head."

I had a nice fat lip for a few days, and a Dom with guilty feelings. The fat lip was the least of my worries. :)

[DOMLORD]

ah yes, let the urban legends fly!
where shall i start? they no longer put fans that chop up dust in the hoses of vacuum cleaners because a mon mangled himself tring to get off.

a man and woman on their first date go to a romantic restraunt. she is completely flatered and decides to go under the table to blow him. unfortunately she is prone to seizures (not mentioning it of course) and has one. what's he supposed to do? his man hood is about to meat the jaws of death here, so he stabs her with a fork in the head. latter in teh E.R. they lay side by side she wakes up with a fork in her head and him staring at her holding his chrouch.

i also heard about the 15 year old boy whose brother in the navy told him that some Arabic guy he met over seas told him about the greatest way to get off. if you slide a narrow piece of any smothe, stiff material down your boner then its amazing. the brother writes back to his sibling. well one day this kid is kind of stoned and decides to try this. he looks around for something to use and breaks off a bead of dripping wax, rolling it smothe with the thumb and index finger of one hand and masturbating with the other, as he puffs on his joint. finally it is smothe enough, his dick is hard enough and he puts out his joint. he slides the wax down and continues rubbing his meat. finally he gets off and it is amazing. now to remove the wax. but its no longer there. its slid in all the way. well its only wax right? he'll just piss it out when it melts. 30 minutes till dinner. 3 hours later he is writhing in pain. when the x-rays come back there is a v shaped object in his bladder. its too big and oddly shaped to be a kidney stone. he has to tell his parents. they use the $10,000 in his college fund to pay for his operation and hospital stay.

[cadence]

Not that mine was any super medical emergency, but at the time it happened I did cry.

I don't really enjoy sticking things up my hoo hoo, and I tend to try and avoid sticking small items that can get lost up there.

It started with baby carrots, as many as I could get and well I had to dig some of them out with a spoon. I wasn't really happy about that.

The next time I had to cut up hot peppers and then use a dildo at the same time. While it did get a bit hot, I wasn't in any great danger of burning anything off. But when it came time to get the peppers out, and yes I counted how many slices I put in there, I lost four of them.
I could feel them, but every time I tried to dig them out, I kept pushing them up further.
I tried to pee them out, ya right.
They were gone and were too small for even a spoon. I started to panic, I didn't want to leave any food lost in la la land.

It had only been fifteen minutes but I was crying and cursing him for making me put something inside me that was now lost, and what the hell was I going to do now?

He told me to get my enema bag and douche it out. Why I didn't even think of that was beyond me.
Probably because I have never douched before. Of course they came out in a jiffy.

So not really an emergency, but something I felt stupid about cursing him for. And felt even dumber for crying and worrying so much.

[Ozme52]

Yeah, she never let me push her head onto the mattress without a little resistance... or turning her head... so the first time I pushed her over a table... and I didn't push all that hard, but I think she liked the manhandling and just submitted to it... and bam...

Fortunately it wasn't the kind of injury that was obvious except to the girl with the bruised lip.

[Ozme52]

I've been stepped on by CFM pumps... lots of foot-pounds of pressure in such a tiny area.

[Leigh]

The only one that comes to mind is one about 10 years when Master (who is about 6'1" 180 lbs and me 5'1" all of 95 lbs) misjudged the distance to the end of the bed and both of us ended up on the floor with him landing on top of me and me in the Er with a fractured elbow

[DowntownAmber]

*hehehe* My goodness this is a fun thread to keep up on! All sorts of bumps and bruises!

I do have a question though -- what are "CFM pumps?" Oz? ;)

[DowntownAmber]

*hehehe* My goodness this is a fun thread to keep up on! All sorts of bumps and bruises!

I do have a question though -- what are "CFM pumps?" Oz? ;)

[DowntownAmber]

Okay, I dunno quite why I had one single response repeat itself three times, but there you go... Continue on thread!

[WyldWyl]

well, there was the time a sudden rough thrust from my co-sexulator did bash my head into the wall behind the bed pretty hard. But that's pretty tame, and a habitual risk of anyone who does it doggy-style anyway. Now I'm always careful to get a pillow between head and wall/bedhead, though. Ouch.

Not exactly sex related, but a post-afterglow story. I'd decided to get up to take a pee, and found as i stood up that my foot had fallen asleep, causing me to lose my balance and fall. Onto the handle of the cane. Leaving a large bruise on my stomach. That one hurt and was a little difficult to explain.

Great thread!

[His_blizzard]

*hehehe* My goodness this is a fun thread to keep up on! All sorts of bumps and bruises!

I do have a question though -- what are "CFM pumps?" Oz? ;)

I think it means "come fuck me" pumps, no?

[DowntownAmber]

I think it means "come fuck me" pumps, no?

Ahhh... Methinks you are right...

Though this is nowhere near as funny as the black eye story I am waiting on permission to post, I just realized yesterday that I have a rather large bruise on the top of my foot. I wondered about it for awhile before it dawned on me: if you're going to use weighted nipple clamps, make sure that 1) they're fastened securely, and 2) if they aren't, be savvy enough to move your foot out of the way when gravity gets ahold of said nipple weight. Yeah, I know they're supposed to hurt but that was a little out of line... *hehehe*

[DowntownAmber]

By request of the friendly folks in chat... *glances over at GreyJack* ...I am posting the tale of "The Subbie That Blackened Her Dom's Eye And Got Away With It!"

Picture, if you will, a cozy living room setting. Evening, so the lights are dim and all is quiet. A cricket chirps somewhere in the distance...

The silence is suddenly broken as the front door flies open and a couple in the impatient first stages of undress burts into the room. A little blonde with curly hair is pulling at the buttons of her dark haired and handsome companion's dress shirt. Passions uninhibited but motor skills impaired by rather more than a few straight bourbons, the blonde loses patience with the buttons and goes stright for her lover's belt, whipping it off and snapping at him playfully with it. He fixes her with a look that clearly states, "do you really think that's such a good idea?" The look is playful, but there is underlying menace in the humor of the dark eyed man. Bold this evening, the curly haired trouble-maker tests the limits of her luck again with another playful snap. Her lover, ever calm in the face of her spirited outbursts, slowly finishes opening the buttons she started on his shirt. Then, even more slowly, unfastens the buttons to his dress slacks...then...slides his zipper down...ever...so...slowly...

This now has the attention of the little blonde subbie. She is engrossed in that...slowly...descending...zipper... When all of a sudden her Dom makes his move, lunging for her, snatching his belt and whipping her around! He pulls off her shirt, flicks off her bra and flings both items across the room. Pinning her wrists at the small of her back with one hand, grabbing the waistband of her skirt with the other, he forces her to the sofa and throws her onto the cushions! She struggles, but the determined Dom is not to be dissuaded! He takes a handful of curls in one hand and forces her face into the pillows, with his other he throws her skirt up over her ass and begins to redden her ass with a spanking from the belt she was so bold as to threaten him with! With no panties of which to speak and only thigh high nylons, the poor subbie's ass is fully exposed to this wicked assault, and soon she is crying and begging for quarter...

Being a generous Dom, the dark haired Master leans over and whispers into his prostrate sub's ear, "it is a little harder to wield this belt when I'm inside of you..." Spunky but not stupid, the curly haired girl repents her upstart ways and begs in earnest, "fuck me Master, PLEASE PLEASE fuck me!" Her Master grants her request and, holding her back to his chest, begins to thrust in and out of his eager sub.

In the midst of the mad tangle of passionate lovemaking, the handsome Dom grabs and gives his sub's nipple a twist. Over stimulateed and high on endorphins, she squeals and arches her back in pleasure, jerking her head up as he thrusts down and...CRACK.

There is a split second pause as the curly haired instigator wonders what exactly the back of her skulll has just come in contact with. "Don't stop, don't stop!" her Dom commands, pulling her back into the pleasure of the moment and she is ridden to a blinding orgasm just mere seconds before her Dom explodes inside of her with a primal scream before collapsing onto her back.

The two lie there, alowing their breathing to return to normal, their heart rates to slow, basking in the glow of unbridled passion. "Um, baby?" the handsome Dom finally says, "you might not wanna turn around." Of course, this causes her to turn immediately in alarm. What she sees is a mouse sized knot that has formed above her beloved's eye, and is getting bigger by the second. She stares in horror, trying very very very hard NOT to laugh. He is, after all, still clutching the belt in one hand.

"Um," she offers, "it's not so bad? It might not turn into a shiner? I think I have to go home now."

Subbie hope springs eternal, but we also know when to get the Hell outta' Dodge... *hehehe*

Just in case you were not aware, the characters portrayed in this story are indeed my beloved Master J-Go and myself. I recived a short and somewhat curt call from J the following morning, simply stating, "come over here. I have something to show you." I tried to say I had to go to work, but He was having none of it and demanded I appear, which I did. He opened his front door, and there was my handsome Dom with the most perfect purple shiner I have ever seen in my life. He couldn't have crafted a prettier one with eye shadow and a liner pencil. It looked like garish violet drag makeup on just one eye.

I will let J fill in how He explained said black eye to friends and co-workers. All I'll say is that I think some of them are still a little scared of me... ;)

[gemmy]

By request of the friendly folks in chat... *glances over at GreyJack* ...I am posting the tale of "The Subbie That Blackened Her Dom's Eye And Got Away With It!"

Picture, if you will, a cozy living room setting. Evening, so the lights are dim and all is quiet. A cricket chirps somewhere in the distance...

The silence is suddenly broken as the front door flies open and a couple in the impatient first stages of undress burts into the room. A little blonde with curly hair is pulling at the buttons of her dark haired and handsome companion's dress shirt. Passions uninhibited but motor skills impaired by rather more than a few straight bourbons, the blonde loses patience with the buttons and goes stright for her lover's belt, whipping it off and snapping at him playfully with it. He fixes her with a look that clearly states, "do you really think that's such a good idea?" The look is playful, but there is underlying menace in the humor of the dark eyed man. Bold this evening, the curly haired trouble-maker tests the limits of her luck again with another playful snap. Her lover, ever calm in the face of her spirited outbursts, slowly finishes opening the buttons she started on his shirt. Then, even more slowly, unfastens the buttons to his dress slacks...then...slides his zipper down...ever...so...slowly...

This now has the attention of the little blonde subbie. She is engrossed in that...slowly...descending...zipper... When all of a sudden her Dom makes his move, lunging for her, snatching his belt and whipping her around! He pulls off her shirt, flicks off her bra and flings both items across the room. Pinning her wrists at the small of her back with one hand, grabbing the waistband of her skirt with the other, he forces her to the sofa and throws her onto the cushions! She struggles, but the determined Dom is not to be dissuaded! He takes a handful of curls in one hand and forces her face into the pillows, with his other he throws her skirt up over her ass and begins to redden her ass with a spanking from the belt she was so bold as to threaten him with! With no panties of which to speak and only thigh high nylons, the poor subbie's ass is fully exposed to this wicked assault, and soon she is crying and begging for quarter...

Being a generous Dom, the dark haired Master leans over and whispers into his prostrate sub's ear, "it is a little harder to wield this belt when I'm inside of you..." Spunky but not stupid, the curly haired girl repents her upstart ways and begs in earnest, "fuck me Master, PLEASE PLEASE fuck me!" Her Master grants her request and, holding her back to his chest, begins to thrust in and out of his eager sub.

In the midst of the mad tangle of passionate lovemaking, the handsome Dom grabs and gives his sub's nipple a twist. Over stimulateed and high on endorphins, she squeals and arches her back in pleasure, jerking her head up as he thrusts down and...CRACK.

There is a split second pause as the curly haired instigator wonders what exactly the back of her skulll has just come in contact with. "Don't stop, don't stop!" her Dom commands, pulling her back into the pleasure of the moment and she is ridden to a blinding orgasm just mere seconds before her Dom explodes inside of her with a primal scream before collapsing onto her back.

The two lie there, alowing their breathing to return to normal, their heart rates to slow, basking in the glow of unbridled passion. "Um, baby?" the handsome Dom finally says, "you might not wanna turn around." Of course, this causes her to turn immediately in alarm. What she sees is a mouse sized knot that has formed above her beloved's eye, and is getting bigger by the second. She stares in horror, trying very very very hard NOT to laugh. He is, after all, still clutching the belt in one hand.

"Um," she offers, "it's not so bad? It might not turn into a shiner? I think I have to go home now."

Subbie hope springs eternal, but we also know when to get the Hell outta' Dodge... *hehehe*

Just in case you were not aware, the characters portrayed in this story are indeed my beloved Master J-Go and myself. I recived a short and somewhat curt call from J the following morning, simply stating, "come over here. I have something to show you." I tried to say I had to go to work, but He was having none of it and demanded I appear, which I did. He opened his front door, and there was my handsome Dom with the most perfect purple shiner I have ever seen in my life. He couldn't have crafted a prettier one with eye shadow and a liner pencil. It looked like garish violet drag makeup on just one eye.

I will let J fill in how He explained said black eye to friends and co-workers. All I'll say is that I think some of them are still a little scared of me... ;)

LMAO Amber hun, that was a great telling hehe

I wish I had a story to add but alas am just boring I guess *giggles*

[suchaminx]

Amber - laughing so hard

Thank you so much for sharing. Like mgem I don't have a story......maybe one day!! but I am loving this thread

~hugs~

minxy xx

[Warbaby1943]

Great story Amber, thanks.

[Dragon's muse]

Sort of a SRI.

The scene: Out for a black tie charity fundraiser with a remote control vibrating egg inside me snatch -- remote control for this egg was in Dragon's pocket.

In the course of the evening, i was getting off a barstool (i'm 4'11 so it is a bit of a gap to the floor) and suddenly the egg starts up at maximum speed. Foot slips off the rung of the barstool, i crumple to the floor in a quivering heap. Hit my head on the bar rail requiring 6 stitches and breaking my collar bone. There was also damage to my reputation (and my pride), since i had to overcome the notion that i got falling down drunk in public.

No injury involved, but holding a small subbie face down on a memory foam mattress can lead to some unintentional breath play.

[J-Go]

By request of the friendly folks in chat... *glances over at GreyJack* ...I am posting the tale of "The Subbie That Blackened Her Dom's Eye And Got Away With It!"


I’m glad to see my dear Pet is so susceptible to peer-pressure! I will deal with that bit of discipline later…weg!

Colliding heads during doggie style sex is indeed an area for greave concern…I’m considering getting a warning label with one of those little stick figure depictions tattooed to DTA’s ass!

I have been involved in some fighting arts in my life and have taken some shots to the eye, so when a black eye is coming I know it! When I pushed down for a good aggressive thrust and DAT threw her head back the impact left me knowing “oh that’s going to leave a mark!” It’s an interesting dichotomy building to orgasm and seeing a mouse raise over the top of your eye. One of the thoughts to go through my mind was to retreat to my corner imploring “Cut me Mick…cut me!” That of course was outweighed by the ensuing orgasm.

I would like to make a minor correction to the story…she did laugh when she saw it! She laughed he ever loving ass off. In fact it was a good ten minutes before we could get off the floor we were laughing so hard.

I thought of several excuses to give people, ranging from protecting myself from a gang of street thugs to getting drunk and hitting my head on the bar but finally settled on DTA and I smacked heads and let them ask the questions.

[gemmy]

I’m glad to see my dear Pet is so susceptible to peer-pressure! I will deal with that bit of discipline later…weg!

Colliding heads during doggie style sex is indeed an area for greave concern…I’m considering getting a warning label with one of those little stick figure depictions tattooed to DTA’s ass!

I have been involved in some fighting arts in my life and have taken some shots to the eye, so when a black eye is coming I know it! When I pushed down for a good aggressive thrust and DAT threw her head back the impact left me knowing “oh that’s going to leave a mark!” It’s an interesting dichotomy building to orgasm and seeing a mouse raise over the top of your eye. One of the thoughts to go through my mind was to retreat to my corner imploring “Cut me Mick…cut me!” That of course was outweighed by the ensuing orgasm.

I would like to make a minor correction to the story…she did laugh when she saw it! She laughed he ever loving ass off. In fact it was a good ten minutes before we could get off the floor we were laughing so hard.

I thought of several excuses to give people, ranging from protecting myself from a gang of street thugs to getting drunk and hitting my head on the bar but finally settled on DTA and I smacked heads and let them ask the questions.

hehehe too funny and I can't say I would have been any more sensitive about not laughing my butt off at the incident as well *giggles madly*

[~faerie~]

LMAO......*wishes she had a story to tell... but sure one will come up eventually* :d

[Logic1]

Sad to tell I got no fun story to tell about S.R.Is. We have fallen off the bed but no injuries to report so no :( or well injuries arent exactly fun either :p.

love the thread though

[Guest020109]

this is sorta an SRI. When i first was learning how to deep throat i would have strong gag reflexes, so strong i thought i would vomit, when the urges comes i stop until i feel better. so my master tied my hand behind my back with his belt and i started to give him head. I started to feel like i was going to vomit and i was like yeah right, well i should have stopped cause i ended up running to the bathroom just in enough time to up chuck in the toilet. my hands were still tied and my master came in and held my hair back. i am glad we were the only ones home cause i am pretty sure i was in my undies. Now when i stop my master knows why and he does force me to keep going.

[DowntownAmber]

this is sorta an SRI. When i first was learning how to deep throat i would have strong gag reflexes, so strong i thought i would vomit, when the urges comes i stop until i feel better. so my master tied my hand behind my back with his belt and i started to give him head. I started to feel like i was going to vomit and i was like yeah right, well i should have stopped cause i ended up running to the bathroom just in enough time to up chuck in the toilet. my hands were still tied and my master came in and held my hair back. i am glad we were the only ones home cause i am pretty sure i was in my undies. Now when i stop my master knows why and he does force me to keep going.

Hmmm... I would say that counts on a matter of principle.

[Guest020109]

matter of principle? I laugh about it now.

[icey]

fun thread ...i was hoping more people would share.

ive had a couple, one time a large bruise on my head ...it was in the fridge at the time, Icehawk got carried away and accidently slammed the door forward lol

one was from hot wax, i know now about candles and temperatures etc but one time when i was only young i decided to try some of those little birthday cake ones,they felt fine during it was afterwards they left some very nasty blisters.

another was from one of those small bbq/ cooker lighters or whatever they are which produce a small flame,we'd used it a couple of times before and it was fine,but this particular time Icehawk had twisted some thin cable wire up (without the plastic) and attached it to my clit ring but for some reason it decided to throw a wobbly and instead of heating the wire the flame shot out totally missed the wire and hit my clit, it was tender for quite a while lol

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

I’m glad to see my dear Pet is so susceptible to peer-pressure! I will deal with that bit of discipline later…weg!

Colliding heads during doggie style sex is indeed an area for greave concern…I’m considering getting a warning label with one of those little stick figure depictions tattooed to DTA’s ass!

I have been involved in some fighting arts in my life and have taken some shots to the eye, so when a black eye is coming I know it! When I pushed down for a good aggressive thrust and DAT threw her head back the impact left me knowing “oh that’s going to leave a mark!” It’s an interesting dichotomy building to orgasm and seeing a mouse raise over the top of your eye. One of the thoughts to go through my mind was to retreat to my corner imploring “Cut me Mick…cut me!” That of course was outweighed by the ensuing orgasm.

I would like to make a minor correction to the story…she did laugh when she saw it! She laughed he ever loving ass off. In fact it was a good ten minutes before we could get off the floor we were laughing so hard.

I thought of several excuses to give people, ranging from protecting myself from a gang of street thugs to getting drunk and hitting my head on the bar but finally settled on DTA and I smacked heads and let them ask the questions.

oh lord......this is toooooooooo funny!! Thanks Amber and J-Go for brightening my day!!!!

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

now....for my S.R.I. *blushin' and laughin'*

First of all i can relate to the face into the headboard/wall. Doggy style does have it's own set of hazards to consider.

Also, there was the time the distance to the bed was misjudged, and when grabbed by my hair and shoved forward, my face came into contact with the footboard instead of the mattress and left me with a lovely shiner and a lip that women who pay for collagen injections would have killed for! Unfortunately, it did kill the moment as unconsciousness tends to do that *sighs and shrugs*

Great thread and i'm truly enjoying it!

[neitsyst2]

Makes a note for my new girl self to start thinking about just how far the distance IS from where I'm standing to the soft part of things. Giggles. You all are fabulous for sharing...it make is seem like makes are bound to happen and fun comes about regardless!

[DowntownAmber]

Heh heh heh, glad to see the thread coming to life again!

I'm surprised more people don't have something (even minor) to share. Clearly, I am quite uncoordinated! *g* Nowhere near as funny as the black eye, but amusing nevertheless, was the elevator incident. J and I left a party at my place to go grab a few pizzas. The elevator ride from the top floor on down to the street is a ten story journey. Clearly more than enough time to squeeze in some kissing and heavy petting, right?! Well, we got into the elevator, the door closed, and J attempted to shove me against the wall. I say "attempted" because I lost my balance when He shoved, tripped backwards, bounced my head of the wall and fell on my ass.

Oh yes, I am JUST THAT SEXY...

Envy our love, forum readers... *cracks up into hysterical giggling*

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

lmao Amber!! kinda blew your cool points with that one! And i'm sure if people think about it, they'll come up with more.

There was the time that my sexy self was strutting a pair of 5 inch spiked heels to impress someone, twisted my ankle, and ended up on crutches for four weeks!

Lord, now that you have me thinking, i'm prolly gonna be able to keep this thread up all by myself ...roflmao!

[sub84]

I dont have a real SRI but i do havea kindof funny story. The guy i had been seeing was over and a friend of mine and me do striptease areobics so i have a stripper pole in my house. needless to say i wanted to impress him so i excused my self to the bedroom and came back in a pair of 4in heels that i can barely walk in btw a thong and a bra. i spun around the pole and jiggled my ass around a little bit and was feeling pretty confident so i decided to try to climb up the pole and slide down upside down with my legs spread, this is not a move that i had done many times before but how hard can it be. just as i went to turn upside down i lost my grip kicked and busted teh light fixture and fell on my head. i dont think i impressed him but we got a good laugh and i got a nice bump on my head that didnt go away for a week.

[gemmy]

Oh yes, I am JUST THAT SEXY...

Envy our love, forum readers... *cracks up into hysterical giggling*

lmfao Amber - omg so funny damn!! *laughing so hard*

[Nixxi_Chaos]

My girlfriend's got these two huge scars on her chest from when I bit her four years ago, right after I filed my teeth. It was dark and I couldn't tell how deep I'd bit her, she ended up having to get them treated and shit, I still feel awful but she thinks it's the funniest thing.

On my end, I've accidently whacked my face off the wall multiple times while sitting on her, I've fallen clear off the bed before, and lit the side of my hair on fire once. I'm quite a clutz sometimes X_X

I've also had awkward cuts and scars to try and explain away, the worst of which were these massive, beautiful gouges that scarred up my back, I wasn't concerned at first (since no one but her sees em) until I realized that I was still in highschool, and I still had to go swimming. Yeah, that wasn't awkward in the least *sarcasmsarcasm*

[lozzy]

Lol this thread is great!

I don't have an 'injury' per se, but I am awfully prone to nosebleeds for no good reason. So much so that my gorgeous boyfriend has started carrying tissues everywhere we go for me (since the incident in Woolworths pick 'n' mix section (if you see any red stains in the cherry sweets box - dont buy them!))

So we were in bed, he was doing his stuff, I have to admit it was getting pretty steamy, and just as I was about to climax I got a nosebleed and started choking on my own blood - which is never an attractive look!

So embarassed!

[denuseri]

<<<poked bad enough in the eye once while switching between dicks during preliminaries of some double teaming action to have to stop when the fun was about to really begin and hold a cold pack over my eye

<<<slipped and broke a heel while going down some stairs holding a dildo inside me, which wrenched the object sharply to one side and hurt so bad i feared i broke my pussy but good, (no fun for a week after seeing my gyn the next day in fact) those of you who know me also know my gyn rather well lol,

<<<stupidly thought i could fit a dildo up my bottom after inserting an egg vibe (very bad idea, two minutes to put in, three hours to get out, allmost considered going to the ER, do not try this at home, egg vibes love to turn sideways when you push against them with a dildo apparently, idk what the hell i was thinking when i did that

<<and then there was the "swing", its a variation of the basket sex thingy, ive done both at one time or another and to be honest the swing was more fun, but anyways, allways make sure the dang thing is mounted in the cieling right, lol, or baby and her daddy will cum tumbeling down when you least expect or want it too, giggles, thankgoodness it was only bruises from that one, and he kept going which was fine by me,weg

i have more but i really dont wanna hog the thread lmao

[angelic.zest]

LOL..oh my i have yet to experience one of these s.r.i LOl

[craven]

Yes this is a good thread, very funny when they aren’t suffered by you, I am sure, and some even sounded like they amused at the time also. I have only one that I can think of other than the odd scuff and abrasions of course.

OK so here goes, this one hurt, really hurt and more to the point, it hurt me ! I had had a horse riding accident, fractured cheek bone and broken nose all quite sore but not life threatening or disfiguring not that I feel it would change a lot. Once the colour came out it looked much worse honest ( I am a proper little soldier *sniffles*)
Not more than a week after the accident I was “playing” with my then partner, I had her pinned down and was trying to get her arms behind her back, when I tickled her to try and get her to relax her arms more, she however twitched and in reflex brought her elbow back against the bridge of my nose and in effect re broke it, I felt the bone grate and heard the noise.

Not sure who has broken their nose here but it is quite an intense and localised pain, my eyes instantly filled with water (not tears, no never!) and I went very quiet, relaxed my grip instantly, she had felt the contact and turned around fearing the worst, I dare say I was not at my most handsome, it was a bit if a play stopper I am afraid, I would love to say I carried on regardless but this was not so, there was quite a lot of blood and tears, all mine and the moment was most definitely lost.

Like many of the SRI’s detailed earlier, how we did laugh about it later, well she mostly did, for some reason this seemed to amuse her no end. lol

[Asmodeuss]

1
The day after I got my septum pierced I was going down on my
ex(I have a severe oral fixation just can't resist)I was edging her
and when I finally let her cum she bucked up which shoved the
ring up into my septum. I shot up onto my knees and watched
her cum with tear filled eyes when she finally looked up I just
said Ow.We still laugh about it.

2
I had made a flogger with very long tails and my pet at the time
had been a bad girl so I decided to use my new toy on her. well
I gave it a good swing and at the very last second before it
connected with her ass I heard her whimper and she pulled away.
Well this long heavy flogger came around and smacked me in the
face it even forced my head to turn to the right.As I slowly calmly
turned to face her she was trembling and had that look that
Beautiful look a sub get when they know they've done something
very bad.I on the other hand was trembling not in anger but
because I was trying so hard to stifle a laugh I finally laughed so
hard I had to put my hands on my knees so as not to fall over.

Good times good times indeed.

[Karesch]

*chuckles* this thread is too good... where to begin, where to begin... There's been numerous incidents of falling off furniture... beds, but none of those resulted in much injury beyond scrapes and bruises... a couple incidents of misjudged floggers that clipped myself in the thigh and left welts.. but some of the more impressive ones for sure...

First would have to be a bucking sub fracturing my nose with a back of the head, headbutt... no blood (I don't bleed easy), but several tears and a yelped "fuck"

second and perhaps the most painful, would be a wild ride of girl on top, wrists tied behind my head and me going deep and hard when... oops... a slip... and her first experience with anal and my first experience with a fully hard dick folding in two... we both shed some tears at that one

perhaps some of the funniest ones were bruises with no explaination... my one sub wasn't known to bruise that easily, but there were a few mornings we'd wake up, she'd get out of bed, and I'd look at her and ask "how the fuck did you get that bruise on your leg?" she'd look down and say "hmm... I dunno... wasn't there yesterday" and they'd be glorious purplish things the size of both my hands

oh... and "nipple gate" *shivers* when I was but a wee lad of about 17, I was fooling around with my girlfriend in bed, straddling her thighs and playfully pushing her down onto the bed.. we were nipping at eachothers necks and such, playing a little rough but not overly so... well... she lunged at me and snapped her teeth, expecting me to flinch back... I didn't as I don't tend to flinch... and her teeth came firmly together upon the hard part of my nipple, slicing 3/4 of the way through it and making for an impressively bloody mess. I won't lie... it hurt like a miserable bastard, felt similar to about 12 paper cuts in the webs of your fingers all at once. My eyes watered heavily, but I kept a straight face, albeit a clenched jaw, as blood coursed down my chest. She stared in horror for about 15 seconds before beginning to cry her eyes out and appologize over and over. I calmly got up, headed to the bathroom and started tending the wound, and her shot nerves as she followed me appologizing. Again... that one Hurt... Alot. My nipples are still hyper sensitive to this day..

and that's all I can think of right now

[sipgirl]

What an entertaining thread. Lets see we have a few...first...many moons ago when we were just kids we decided to get frisky in a field near a pond (ahh yes one of the nice things about living in the country) things were getting hot and heavy, he pushed me down slammed on top of me and we went at it...a few days later it wasnt so funny when he had to get cortisone shots because the poison ivy on his knees and palms of his hands was 4x's as bad as the poison ivy I had acquired on my ass. Second one night in the backseat of the car he had thrown my legs up over my head and was getting ready to go in for the kill, he came up under the blanket just as I was leaning forward smashed me in the nose with his forehead and broke my nose....that was a fun one to explain to the parents.
More recently on a rare ocassion that the kiddos were gone for the night we had a pretty heavy session in which he beat my ass quite badly with a very thick, very wide leather belt which in turn led me to whimper and squirm between each stroke and try to remain focused on counting each blow...it wasnt til later I realized the window was open and I am quite sure our neighbors heard it all.....oh well it was worth it LOL!

[thedominthehat]

I caused a very small fracture in my wrist when I smacked a girls ass really hard over her jeans. I am not sure what happened but I suspect I hit a snap on her jeans or something, it did not hurt at the time but I was sore the next day and had to get some X-rays and an MRI when it still hurt weeks later. Ended up with a little brace and I wore it for about a week and it felt better.

Doctor: What happened?
Me: uhmm fell down some stairs :)

This story is a lot better when heavily exaggerated and embellished by a friend of mine who likes to retell my stories with all the details changed to be more interesting.

[WyldWyl]

I have a new one, yay! Well, more...ow.

So, my present squeeze has a very large and....eccentric cat. It has that annoying habit of hopping up on the bed at inopportune times to watch us. I think he just wants to join in, really. Anyway...

So my guy is doing fairly obscene things to me with a buttplug, and my mind is somewhere out beyond the rings of saturn, as it usually is at these moments. I should mention that I have a tendency to kick and twitch during this kind of play if not restrained. So as he does that thing he does where he just flicks the end and taps it against my prostate and my right leg kicks back, and of course, nails the kitty square in the face.

The cat falls off the bed, yowling. The cat leaps back onto the bed, still yowling. The cat sinks its teeth into my foot, adding some claws for good measure. Now it's my turn to yowl, and his turn to grab the cat, through it out, and call his ambulance officer friend around to take a look at my foot. Fun night.

[Ozme52]

I have a new one, yay! Well, more...ow.

So, my present squeeze has a very large and....eccentric cat. It has that annoying habit of hopping up on the bed at inopportune times to watch us. I think he just wants to join in, really. Anyway...

So my guy is doing fairly obscene things to me with a buttplug, and my mind is somewhere out beyond the rings of saturn, as it usually is at these moments. I should mention that I have a tendency to kick and twitch during this kind of play if not restrained. So as he does that thing he does where he just flicks the end and taps it against my prostate and my right leg kicks back, and of course, nails the kitty square in the face.

The cat falls off the bed, yowling. The cat leaps back onto the bed, still yowling. The cat sinks its teeth into my foot, adding some claws for good measure. Now it's my turn to yowl, and his turn to grab the cat, through it out, and call his ambulance officer friend around to take a look at my foot. Fun night.


Out beyond Saturn... you mean in Uranus?

[WyldWyl]

And here was I using politely euphemistic terms...

[Ozme52]

:d

[snowflake]

I have a new one, yay! Well, more...ow.

So, my present squeeze has a very large and....eccentric cat. It has that annoying habit of hopping up on the bed at inopportune times to watch us. I think he just wants to join in, really. Anyway...

So my guy is doing fairly obscene things to me with a buttplug, and my mind is somewhere out beyond the rings of saturn, as it usually is at these moments. I should mention that I have a tendency to kick and twitch during this kind of play if not restrained. So as he does that thing he does where he just flicks the end and taps it against my prostate and my right leg kicks back, and of course, nails the kitty square in the face.

The cat falls off the bed, yowling. The cat leaps back onto the bed, still yowling. The cat sinks its teeth into my foot, adding some claws for good measure. Now it's my turn to yowl, and his turn to grab the cat, through it out, and call his ambulance officer friend around to take a look at my foot. Fun night.

giggles and purrs .. decides the foot needs more attention and pussy foots all over it through care and concern of course then ROTFLMAO..

good kitty is the words is it not..??

Sorry Sir but knowing it is ok i just had to add my two cents..

hugs
kitten
aka
littleone

[sassy75]

Sex in cars/trucks/SUV is pretty fun but can lead to some nasty bruises. My tailbone gets pretty sore. The latest was actually pretty good. I was balancing on the edge of his 4 Runner and he was really getting into pounding me. Too bad he was also looking around to see if anyone was gonna come around the edge of the storage units we were occupying. The next thing I know I'm being pushed back and he's using the seat belts as leverage to really give it to me good. So much fun but I had a hard time sitting at work for 3 days due to the bruises on my back and back side.

[leo9]

This could have happened anywhere, but it did actually happen as I was sweeping my honey off her feet preparatory to throwing her onto the bed and so on... except that instead I ended up crumpled on the bed screaming softly and trying not to throw up with the pain. Aescepulus only knows why - she's not THAT heavy - but I had ripped a tendon in my elbow. So instead of going to heaven we went to A&E, and it was months before I was up to doing anything interesting with that arm.

[SUBtly_shy]

he he just found this thread LOVE IT. m SRI is kinda minor but good for a laugh.
my significant other and I were staying at my moms until we had enough cash to get our own place. We were in right in the middle of starting some hot and heavy petting. Well right about that time a corner of the bed just dropped... we said screw it we broke the bed (oh well). We proceeded to have a good time anyway. When we got up after our fun we decided to try and fix the bed..... lo and behold we didn't break the bed... the leg of the bed had gone though the floor :eek:

[DowntownAmber]

Oh! Points to shy for not injuring herself but puncturing the actual sctructure of a home!

Anyone else cause expensive damage to inanimate objects or loacations?

[Kerridwen]

*giggles* This was a while ago. We had a similar experience with our bed, we were correct that we did bend/break the leg (it was a heavy metal frame and we had to replace it, the sales guy kept asking how we managed to bend the first one *blushing*). However, we were having so much fun we ignored it. Well now there is a HUGE gouge in our wood floor. Oops!!

Let's see I have ended up with a black eye (turned at the wrong moment and there was his elbow, ouch!) Many many bite marks (yum) oh and I once badly sprained my ankle on the steps going up to our room (total mood killer). The worst was when I bit my tongue so hard that it wouldn't stop bleeding. I Thought that I was going to have to go to the ER for that one. Thankfully it stopped, but I couldn't eat much for a few days.

Nothing life threatening, we laugh about it all now.

[Ragoczy]

A few years ago, I had my kitten strapped down on the bed and things had progressed to the point where she was doing her Exorcist-thing, that being to try to levitate off the bed. She'd managed to get all but the top of her head and her heels in the air. I was kneeling beside her, facing her feet with one arm around her waist and the other hand inside her to keep things going.

This time I had only attached her arms to straps, spread to the top corners of the bed-frame, so her feet were free and she was inching her way farther up the bed as things went on. There's typically a lot of thrashing and screaming and kicking going on at this point -- in fact, with her legs free she'll often try to wrap them around something of mine (she's not usually particular) and squeeze, so I was simultaneously concentrating on keeping things going, not getting hurt and keeping her in the center of the bed. I mention this only to make it clear that I had a lot on my mind.

Imagine my surprise when I turned to see her face and found that my kitten had no head.

She had pulled herself (and me) so far toward the top of the bed that her head had slid down between the mattress and headboard. Now I figure I need to get her head out of there before she either suffocates or dislocates a shoulder, so I let go of her waist and reach down between the headboard and mattress to grab her shoulder, keeping my other hand occupied inside her, because the problem isn't serious enough to warrant interrupting what she's got going.

I start to gently but firmly pull her back up onto the bed.

Now, what I didn't realize is that her head had gone pretty far down -- far enough that she'd passed the bottom edge of the headboard and her head was turned to the side so she had one side of her face against the mattress and one against the headboard. As I pulled her up, her ear on the headboard side, which had gone down past that edge fine, now caught coming back up.

So, yes, I gently but firmly tried to rip my kitten's ear off.

Needless to say, this brought about an abrupt and rather rude end to what she was experiencing ... although the screaming did continue ...

[Mastrovenice]

What's more romantic than a candle lit dungeon, right? My sub's arms were bound behind her, and sitting on a table. I was rather busy 'round front when the smell and the sizzle hit me. Her beautiful long hair had made contact with the open flame thankfully I acted quickly and saved the day... Now the candles stay FAR away!

[Laila]

Wow lol I suddenly am more scared of the lifetsyle again *gg*

I never had anything bad happen to me - well the vomiting thanks to my gag reflex and my ex Master loving to play with that trigger is kinda something I'm used to.

Oh does a fungus count? ;) yuck. Ok this is only funny when you're in my head.

[Oak]

I have 2 incidents I want to share with you. 1 very funny and the other very unfunny.
The funny, My wife/slave and I, were down in the dungeon in our local club, together with a couple of our friends. It's wasn't much space in the dungeon, So even the subs were tied towards each their wall, we were very close together. I pulled my multitongwhip back and was ready to whip her. But I never came so far, as the whip simply were pulled out of my hand. Beside the same happened to our frind, The thongs of our whips was simply twisted together. Do I need to say, that we all 4 got a good laugh. :4:
The other wasn't funny at all. It was the day after a "fun" night and my her backside had a very nice colour and stripes. She had an accident and was taked to hospital. When they saw her backside, they called the cops and did her best to persuade her to charge me for wife battering. They wouldn't even allow me to visit her, it took her several days to make them understand that she really liked being spanked.:mad:

[lucy]

hihihi, this is a great thread :d
The worst thing that ever happened to me during sex was at my boyfriends 20th birthday party. He prepared a chili for dinner and i helped him to get everything ready. Well, unfortunately we were much too fast and had some time left, which we used to fool around.
So he started to play with me and it was getting real hot down there. I don't mind if things get real hot, but getting hot because your mate forgot to thoroughly wash his hands after chopping chilies is definitely too hot.
The scene ended with me running screaming to the bathroom and frantically dousing my pussy with cold water.
However, i still love spicy food :)

[LilJennyLynn]

:yahoo:I just came home from an "October fest" (lots of drinking) and proceeded to read this thread. Seriously, I nearly spit on my Computer Screen it was so funny. Thank you all for sharing!

[bpqueen]

Unfortunately, my injuries are pretty tame compared to everyone else's, but as I tend to buck and fight a lot in bed, I do give my fair share of facial bumps and bruises.

However, last week I was fooling around with a friend that I hope will introduce me more to BDSM irl, and he had grabbed me by the right shoulder/pectoral, dug his nails in and forced my back to his chest. While I was squirming in this position he changed positions to grab the back of my neck and I wound up flying through the air off of the bed onto the floor, rolling at least once. As I am trained in martial arts and some stage combat I didn't sprain or break anything, but the feeling of being thrown was exhilirating. However, the wounds and subsequent scabs from the nails were VERY hard to explain at work and the hairdresser's, as I have very short and spiky hair :eek: