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Venom
03-31-2008, 11:44 AM
YAMAMOTO TOWER







Kazuo Ishikawa looked through the glass wall of his office on the 112. floor of the Yamamoto Tower. Far below him the rush hour traffic was jamming up the streets of Atro City, while an unhealthy mixture of early morning fog and all-day smog hung, grey and motionless, between the uncounted skyscrapers.

Born in Tokyo, Ishikawa was no stranger to the various extremes of mega cities. But this fifty-million-metropolis was painfully different to his home town. Sterile, with no jungles of neon lights, no old buildings between the monuments of futuristic architecture. And no high-class eastern prostitutes, just cheap 2000 € -whores.

Not just his homesickness but also his strong sense of duty connected the Japanese top manager with Tokyo. The headquarters of Yamamoto Inc. were located in Edo, as this city had been called in former times. And his superiors there were expecting results relating to the industrial espionage in the Yamamoto Tower.




The blonde slut had appeared to everybody to be a naive, dumb fuck-me-silly, but it had required VERY intense interrogation during the whole night to finally press the spy's name and location out of her.




The intercom on his desk emitted a signal, then Ishikawa's secretary could be heard. The Asian listened, then said:




"Let her in."




The double-winged door at the far wall of the huge room opened, and a young European woman walked in with long steps. Her trim, athletic body was wrapped in a tight, dark-red leather outfit and her pretty face could be called beautiful without its hard expression. Even without the four-inch heels of her stiletto boots the hot female with the long jet black hair would stand almost 1.8 metres.




Lilith strode through the lane of ancient weapons and Samurai armours towards the massive desk and stopped two metres before it's

dark marble front. She bow respectfully.




"You have sent for me, Ishikawa-san?"




The high-ranked manager eyed her. Many times the sexy gaijin had solved delicate problems for the Incorporation, and never she had failed.




"Forty minutes ago I was informed about the identity and whereabouts of an industrial spy. After he noticed that he was about to be caught he disappeared with a disc full of highly sensible files. That was, as I know now, two and a half hours ago.

At this moment Danny Durn", he turned the flat screen monitor on his desk, showing a picture of Durn to her, "and his loot is located somewhere inside the Garver Building. Eliminate Danny Durn and bring back the disc. For verifying the disc's authenticity: the file package's title is 'HardSkill'; the word 'today' occurs fourteen times overall. Soichiro will give you details about the target. Go now!"




She bowed again: "Hai!"

Venom
03-31-2008, 11:49 AM
This is the first paragraph (the second, counting the INTRO) of my latest story submitted to this site. If you like what you've just read, grab the whole narration at the Library, title: "HardSkill".

Rubberwolf
04-26-2008, 01:02 PM
Yep, thought so. (See prev speculation)

Nice build up. The intro lets us know that something wicked this way comes and the pace is now stepped down. Again, would like to see where you go with this.

Venom
04-26-2008, 04:02 PM
Again, would like to see where you go with this.

The whole story is already submitted to the Library.

I'm still undecided about posting more passages in The Authors' Garret.
Sure, here I get a feedback + we are able to discuss it. On the other hand, an ultimate rating for the whole story at the Library would be fine, too (hint hint wink wink nudge nudge).

Rubberwolf
04-28-2008, 03:19 PM
Subtle, very subtle. Will have a look at the weekend.

However, you do get useful feedback from this section, which helps with future projects, since you can find out what works and what doesn't corecting as you go.

deigja
05-01-2008, 01:38 AM
Well written but I won´t vote on it in the library section as due to my taste, and only because of that, I´d have to give bad marks: too far from my taste ... too brutal and as far as i read none of the "victims" liked even a little bit what happened to him/her and I generally don´t like the female to take the dominant part in stories . As i don´t want your fist rating to be a bad one for a well written story that may be to others taste.. you see my dilemma?
I liked the description of Liliths steel bondage though and the way you build your story.. just not enough romance and emotion for me little girl *friendly grin (doesn´t always have to be mean)*



besides i found a little mistake.
"her right foot shot forwards and crushed the guard's face.
"Damn!", she thought while she waved her long hair back over her shoulders.
"I'm leaving too much bodies behind."" -> too many!


*very nasty and evil grin because now again you get no chance to get your evil laugh rated higher than rubberwolves*


hugs, deigja

Venom
05-01-2008, 04:54 AM
Thank you for your honest words, deigja!

Of course I know that my narrations are on the hard side. The fact that you read the story though it isn't your cup of tea makes me proud. You are indeed a nice little girl and own the most evil laugh among all of us.:)

Not to rate a story instead of giving a low rate due to its content is the absolutely right way. (not only for my stories; I'm talking in general). To often you can read comments in which the storyline itself is cursed instead of giving constructive criticism.

After all I'm happy that you still found some details you like. Though I'm the owner of the patent, you are free to rebuild or let rebuild the steel bondage for your usage.;)

PS.: much & many - that shouldn't happen to me...:32: