Have You Ever Wanted To Give Your Slave To Some One Else?

[Sir James]

I have a question the I am sure some of you have experience with.

My wife is also my slave (BDSM). She submitted to me when we were dating, and our M/s relationship has flourished during the ten years of our marraige. I love this woman, and she is a marvelous slave. Anything is possible with her. Recently I have harboured thoughts of giving her to a friend of mine, letting him, on occasion, dominate, bind, torment, and have sex with her. I have told her of my thinking, and that I plan to do this. We talked about it, and she said she would submit and do what I wanted. She does not know who I want to give her to. I am keeping that secret for a while.

I know my friend is also a Dom. Him and his former wife (she was killed in a car wreck, with a damned drunk in the other car) had a similar relationshp (BDSM). He would be a good candidiate for this type of thing.

Since I have never done anything like this (letting someone else have her), I thought I might check in her, and learn what your experiences were in this area. Obviously, I don't want to ruin a good thing. I don't want to give her to a stranger, because of the obvious reasons.

Sir James

[Hime]

It's a pretty frequent fantasy of mine to be "loaned" to a friend or acquaintance for an evening. I get the feeling that a lot of submissive women have the same fantasy. I'm kind of uncomfortable with the idea of doing it in RL, though, and I will explain why in many extremely pretentious pseudo-scholarly words:

I don't know if a lot of dominant guys fantasize about getting to borrow the wife of another man, though -- I've never really heard one mention it, as opposed to the fantasy of loaning out one's own spouse. Which sounds bizarre at first --men fantasize about GIVING UP SEX? And these are DOMS? -- but it actually makes sense. Historically, powerful men in a lot of cultures have used giving as a way to show off power and force others to recognize their status. While giving someone an expensive or high-status gift (such as inviting people to a fancy restaurant or giving away fabulous gift bags at a party) seems like an act of generosity, it is actually an act of dominance. It is a way of putting someone in your debt, obligating them to repay you in some unspecified way.

So of course "giving away" or "loaning out" a woman is an ultimate maledom fantasy -- it allows the dom to dominate his submissive in an extremely intimate and humiliating way, as well as allowing him to pull a major coup by dominating a fellow dom. However, while the submissive presumably enjoys the experience, I doubt that the dom who received this "gift" is going to feel really good about it afterwards, even if he enjoys the sexual encounter.

Recently, D. made a big deal of "showing me off" to a male friend of ours, inviting him to watch me try on different clothes and bras. I enjoyed the mild humiliation, but I felt a little bit uncomfortable on the behalf of the friend, who seemed to enjoy the display but then feel insecure and competitive (for instance, bringing up his prestigious job and high salary several times, which isn't normal behavior for him) for the rest of the day. I don't think that D. intended to make his friend unhappy, but I do think that he wanted to enjoy the feeling of being the big man in the room. You doms can't help it -- you like dominating us, but you really like dominating each other. :)

I would talk to your friend and see how *he* feels about this, and whether he is okay with getting back into BDSM after losing his wife. I'm concerned that he could see this as a pity gesture, or as a suggestion that he can't get a woman on his own. If you have the kind of friendship where you can honestly talk about this kind of feelings, that would be a big help. If not, um, do whatever it is that men do when they have feelings. :p If all three of you are really on the same page, go for it!

[Sir_Russell]

I never felt that having mine service another man at my direction was anything more then her proving that she will do what I ask of her. Each time the friend didn't seem to feel that he had been dominated by me. He and she had an experience both enjoyed.

I have also shared a slave with a friend me giving her a pleasure spanking to start things off and when she is about to cum have her suck on his cock. The night takes off from there but the other male had to follow my rules and my lead.

[Sir James]

I think like you. I have known of another Dom who has done this, and they enjoyed themselves. The friend enjoyed having access to another's slave.

Like you, I would be in control of my slave, and what is done to her. Yes, I can see allowing her to be bound, tormented, and even whipped by the man I give her to. I would expect him being allowed to do anything to her I would do. I suppose the time might come when I would allow him the loan of her, by himself. Having said that, at first, I would always be there, and even participitating with him.

This is one of those subjects that you read about, but the actuallity is something that must be considered from all aspects. Thank you for your comments on what you did. Sounds like you enjoyed your decision, and would do it again.

JK

[Sir James]

Well, I thought about a couple of suggestions, and decided to talk to my friend about what I want to do. He is of the same mind set, but as I said his slave was killed by a drunk driver, some time back. When she was alive, him and I had talked about getting together, and have a slave swap (wife swap) party, just the two couples. For a variety of reasons, it did not happen, then she was killed. Really bothered all of us. She has been gone for over three years.

Him and I have remained the best of friends, and we still talk about BDSM, and my personal life with my wife/slave.

Last evening we talked about my idea. He liked the idea, and agrees to my conditions. Contrary to what Hime said, I don't think he sees himself being dominated by me. It appears like his mind set is that he is going to have BDSM sex with a pretty lady, whom he has wanted to have BDSM sex in the past. He sees this as me sharing my slave with him.

Any thoughts?

Sir James