subdrop..lets be honest

[icey]

ive noticed that while many people mention sub space sub drop and aftercare etc hardly anyone ever seems overly willing to admit to any bad experiences themselves other than a casual comment or two along the lines of ''its not very nice but my Dom/me looks after me'' or ''its never happened to me/my sub'' '' if you're looked after properly it wont happen'' and so on.

its like being on drugs you can be high as a kite and happy as larry but there are times coming down is literally just that..coming down,and sometimes with a big almighty crash.

people are happy to talk about the bliss of subspace and the highs etc and yes it is great im not disputing or belittling that, but it's like they dont like to admit that occasionally coming down can be a really horrible experience and can last quite sometime that things arnt always perfect,its not something to be ashamed of or to feel inadequate about,

ok its rare or at least it has been for me luckily but im quite happy to admit that i have had one or two horrible experiences of it.

surely im not the only one?

yes i have tried finding older threads here but they seem to be related to aftercare rather than the actual subject itsself

[The only friend]

I dont completly understand Icey.
I'm guessing I know what a "subdrop" means, but as "drop" is a worth that is not in my english vocabulary yet, I am afraid I might miss out on the question... :confused:

could you explain better, please...

"crawls away in corner..."

[icey]

sorry im not too good at explaining things sometimes.

i meant sometimes after being in 'sub space' (i'll keep the description basic,a sort of natural high and or drowsiness) when playing when or as you come back out of it ..imagine someone taking upper then downer meds .. instead of feeling really good it can have the opposite effect and make you feel very low, weepy, shaky confused for eg or all kinds of different feelings both physically and emotionally, many different things for many different people but none of them nice.

im not doing too good a job here lol im finding it difficult to explain sorry

[ghostgirl]

i'm not fond of the term "subdrop" because returning to "normal" awareness feels more to me like surfacing after a deep dive than coming down from a high place, but i think you've described it quite accurately, icey.

Sometimes it seems that there's reluctance to talk about drop because, maybe, there's a belief that "if we do everything *right* then there shouldn't be any problem with subdrop," but i just look at it as a possible outcome of play, and try to plan accordingly.

i've experienced severe drop when scening with someone i don't know well and also (rarely) after a heavy pain session.

Sometimes i can relate it to the "depth" of subspace i experience in a particular scene, other times to a general feeling of not having been in prime condition before the scene even began.

Since it can happen after a great scene or a less-than-satisfying one, with someone i'm very close to, or someone more or less anonymous, the experience of subdrop afterwards is no reflection on the scene or the connection players may have, IMHO.

At the risking of offending, i do think that subdrop and aftercare are at least as much the bottom's responsibility as the top's. IOW, i've found it pays to know myself and how i respond, and have tested coping strategies at hand that i know work for me.

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

Thank you to The only friend for asking the question that i prolly would have been to scared to ask. But now that i understand what sub drop is, i can say that i remember one truly bad case of it that occurred after a spanking that i received in a scene. As ghostgirl pointed out, i don't know if it was the condition that i was in prior to the scene, or what exactly brought up the feelings that i experienced, but the poor Dom ended up having to console me for quite some time!

i am truly thankful that He was there, and although i tried to explain the feelings that i was having at the time, i don't know that i clearly understood them myself. So as ghostgirl said, i am trying to learn myself and my responses to things so that i can be responsible for these things as they happen.

[cadence]

If you don't experience subspace, can you experience subdrop?

[icey]

theres been times i havnt been spaced out as such but have felt a little low afterwards.

i guess its like anything else,its just a matter of how both the body and mind reacts to, interprets and processes 'trauma' because really playing is a traumatic experience for the body, we're not made to be whipped,cut,burnt hung from the rafters really...even if it does feel like it at times lol

when you come back down with a bang its horrible no matter how good the 'high' and the play is.
and the first time for me was pretty scarey id heard of it and thought i knew what it might be like but i wasnt expecting it and im not ashamed to admit it.

good aftercare can help to a degree but it doesnt matter how much you plan when it happens it happens and no amount of hugs,blankets and chocolate is going to stop it! but then im only going by my own experiences obviously i cant speak for anyone else.

i think its a matter of recognising when enoughs enough and its time to slow down or even stop play but sometimes even then its not always that simple even for the Dom/me to catch it in time,occasionally instead of it being a gradual thing i can go from fully alert to totally out of it,

like you ghostgirl im not really keen on giving names to things either in fact sometimes it just sounds cheesy but its the only way i could word it,im not the most articulate of people lol

[ghostgirl]

Wow, what an interesting question, cadence.

i guess my off-the-cuff answer would be no, since i understand subspace (in my more clinical, vs mystical mode) as an endorphin thing: pain + fear + arousal = happy subspace brain chemistry. At least, that's my personal formula...different for everyone. :)

Sometimes said endorphin levels drop below normal before returning to a comfortable baseline, and that's subdrop, as i define it. i feel all of the things icey described: weak, weepy, confused, trembly, depressed.

Standard aftercare ************s of food (pretty sure this is the true purpose of chocolate), sleep, wound care all help bring chemistry back into balance. A warm bath and a cold sports drink can work wonders.

From the emotional standpoint there's no substitute for a caring partner who knows you well.

Having said that...not always having this kind of partner doesn't necessarily keep me from playing. ;)

[ghostgirl]

Gotta disagree with you there, icey...you're quite articulate and i appreciate your starting this interesting thread.

Agree very much that it can't be "controlled" or stopped. It can happen very fast, and it can last for a day or two.

i'd be really interested in hearing if slowing or stopping play works for you, if you and your Dom experiment with it. i tend to want to push limits once i'm in subspace; i doubt i'd be able to slow myself down. :)

It does help me to know that it's a normal and expected consequence of the kind of play i like.

[ghostgirl]

ooops...triple post! how'd i do that?

[icey]

it seems to happen often lol

slowing it down or stopping can help but if you've got there pretty quickly or too far then its a bit too late,for me anyway.

but i think if you're still at the stage of wanting to push your limits then you're probably still alert enough to know you're 'getting there' more cheesy sayings lol if you're at a point where you wouldnt notice you've reached them thats when it's time your Dom would im guessing put a stop to it.

[crazy_grrluk]

sub drop doesnt nes have to occur after sub-space... it can occur at any time. for example when your Dominant partner has to go away.

I can remember experiancing "sub-drop" after S1 went back to AU the 1st christmas he came to stay with us here in the UK. Was awful having to drop him off at Heathrow Airport so he could catch his flight home. I cried all the way back up the motorway and then bawled again as soon as I got to work.
The worst part was coming back home to an empty house and also going to bed alone. I felt betrayed, alone and not wanted.
Only after he landed back in Melbourne and contacted me was I ok.
I never want to have that feeling ever again.

cg

[Tojo]

A great thread icey- this needs to be brought out in the open, so it's not so unexpected.

[~faerie~]

sub drop doesnt nes have to occur after sub-space... it can occur at any time. for example when your Dominant partner has to go away.

I can remember experiancing "sub-drop" after S1 went back to AU the 1st christmas he came to stay with us here in the UK. Was awful having to drop him off at Heathrow Airport so he could catch his flight home. I cried all the way back up the motorway and then bawled again as soon as I got to work.
The worst part was coming back home to an empty house and also going to bed alone. I felt betrayed, alone and not wanted.
Only after he landed back in Melbourne and contacted me was I ok.
I never want to have that feeling ever again.

cg

I know the first time i went to my Masters house it was the most wonderful, awesome, spectacular feeling/experience ever. When i got on the train to go home i cried most of the 6hr trip home. i was devastated. i thought for sure i would never see him again, or he had changed his mind about me, etc. it was emotionally exhausting to go from such a high to such a low. i was depressed and insecure for about a week. I questioned Him and i questioned myself. I was basically a mess. i hated the sleeping alone part as well. He was very understanding about the whole thing, we talked a great deal about how i was feeling. It was very comforting to have him explain things to me a little bit, as this was one of the first r/l play sessions with him. it's happened a few times, since then, but now i am more aware of why i feel this way and he is more aware that sometimes i need a little more care after. not sure if this is the answer you were looking for but this is just my experience.

[cadence]

While I am not disputing that what ShyGreenEyedGrl and crazy_grrluk have felt is sub drop.
But wouldn't those feelings be a natural occurence when having to be apart from your significant other?
I am curious to have someone explain it to me so I can understand that better.

I am somewhat confused about sub drop in general. I do get those low feelings maybe two or three days later.
I have been told that sub drop is not possible in an online environment so I chalk up those feelings to being ill prepared to maintain a proper mindset.

I love humiliation, but I also have a hard time grasping the notion that it isn't bad to be treated badly.
Seeing that to me humiliation is a big rush, and I enjoy it immensely, I would have to assume that my low points are my insecurites coming through.
I try to combat the negative through exercise, practicing music, eating right, and getting enough sleep. Not that I am successful at doing those things all of the time.

So I can't distinguish whether or not I am feeling sub drop or just some conflict within myself.

[ghostgirl]

While I am not disputing that what ShyGreenEyedGrl and crazy_grrluk have felt is sub drop.
But wouldn't those feelings be a natural occurence when having to be apart from your significant other?
I am curious to have someone explain it to me so I can understand that better.

I am somewhat confused about sub drop in general. I do get those low feelings maybe two or three days later.
I have been told that sub drop is not possible in an online environment so I chalk up those feelings to being ill prepared to maintain a proper mindset.

I love humiliation, but I also have a hard time grasping the notion that it isn't bad to be treated badly.
Seeing that to me humiliation is a big rush, and I enjoy it immensely, I would have to assume that my low points are my insecurites coming through.
I try to combat the negative through exercise, practicing music, eating right, and getting enough sleep. Not that I am successful at doing those things all of the time.

So I can't distinguish whether or not I am feeling sub drop or just some conflict within myself.




Technically (and traditionally) speaking, subdrop refers specifically to a response that occurs at the end of, or immediately after, a scene.

If you wanna get really technical and specific: BDSM practices cause endorphin, oxytocin, and dopamine release in the body, which is why some of the most awful things can feel amazingly good. Those chemicals produce a rush or high.

They can be very addictive.

Unfortunately, prolactin and cortisol levels can also be significantly elevated, along with low blood glucose and dehydration after a physical scene, which can make you feel like crap.

It takes much longer for hormone levels to balance once they're dancing around in your bloodstream, which is why a few minutes of cuddling afterward isn't really going to take care of it (although it does promote continued oxytocin release).

i've heard the arguments that subdrop isn't possible online, or isn't possible outside of the context of heavy pain scening, but frankly, i don't buy it. If online play, or merely being in the presence of your Master, can cause those happy chemicals to flow for you, then you face the possibility of subdrop.


At the more emotional end of things, you're likely to be wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed for a week. After a good sleep it's a better idea to make contact with friends, even by phone or...um...internet :). Meditation and self-hypnosis can be good proactive ways to support yourself, as can journaling.

It seems natural that this sort of play would bring up fears and insecurities. You deserve a compassionate listener to share them with, whether that's your Dom, a playmate, or a friend. Just remember: nothing is "wrong," and you're not alone.

[crazy_grrluk]

While I am not disputing that what ShyGreenEyedGrl and crazy_grrluk have felt is sub drop.
But wouldn't those feelings be a natural occurence when having to be apart from your significant other?
I am curious to have someone explain it to me so I can understand that better.



Not really no.

I didnt experiance the feelings after Master left this year. This year I just dropped him off at Heathrow drove home a lot chirpier than i was the year before. was stll weird coming home to an empty house and going to bed alone but i didnt have thaat feeling of detatchment this time

cg

[fetishdj]

I think the problem is that there needs to be a precise definition of what subdrop actually is before we can discuss it in a lot of detail because in some cases we may be comparing apples to oranges or even oranges to sheep.

Speaking as a physiologist and a psychologist, I would like to know what phsyiological processes occur during the process of subspace and sub drop. Not sure if anyone has done the research (could look it up...) beyond speculation and would be interesting to see what happens to endorphins etc...

[icey]

im with ghostgirl on this one and believe its the technical/chemical reaction of course everyone is different and i dont want to step out of line and offend you cazy_grrl but if it had been me i would have put it down to feeling upset and low because he'd had to go away and maybe next time around it wasnt quite so bad because i was more used to the idea of it,but thats just my take on it.

i remember a girl once saing to me that everytime her Master was out of her sight she was in subspace trying to see him and went into great detail of how she felt high, deamy etc.....personally i thought she was on another planet but there ya go lol
the mind plays wonderful tricks and that i think does play a part in subspace/drop too, although with that particular girl i dont think there was a mind to play tricks in the first place.

online play is something that ive never done other than a few little games when we wernt together so i cant say its something ive ever experienced and i dont think it would work for me i like the one on one more intense type of play by that i mean edgier, for want of a better word more pain etc and unless its with rope i just dont get spacey from any other kind but people say it works for them and im not going to knock it.

im glad to see that you are all able to admit to it its very rare that people do,mostly out of misplaced shame or a feeling of failure i suspect and people do need to be aware it can happen both sub and Dom/me because its a hell of a shock as it is and even more confusing when you havnt a clue as to what or why it happened.

[ghostgirl]

I think the problem is that there needs to be a precise definition of what subdrop actually is before we can discuss it in a lot of detail because in some cases we may be comparing apples to oranges or even oranges to sheep.

Speaking as a physiologist and a psychologist, I would like to know what phsyiological processes occur during the process of subspace and sub drop. Not sure if anyone has done the research (could look it up...) beyond speculation and would be interesting to see what happens to endorphins etc...




Good luck finding volunteers for _that_ study. ;)

[icey]

im happy to volunteer :)
its a hard one to define really everyone experiences things differently you mentioned apples to oranges i guess its a bit like having a cold..you have the symptons and you know for cetain you have one but you may sneeze and others may have a cough or a sore throat.

im not sure how research could be done phsyically you'd have to be there in person ready with syinges and eeg and ecg equipment pobably lol.

i doubt it helps much but a young boy i know was stabbed, his description of how he felt both during and afterwards was very much like describing to a milder degree subspace (as ive experienced it) and then the drop that we've been talking of.
pehaps reading up about something medical like that would give you some idea

not much help sorry.

[icey]

....

[fetishdj]

There are ways to conduct the research. Samples can be taken before, during and after and EEGs etc can be done. Trouble would be getting ethical approval and funding for it. Consent issues would be a nightmare legally (and, yes, I'd volunteer as well :) )

I have been in subspace, apparently. At least the Mistress who was working on me said she recognised the symptoms - can't say I noticed myself. But I was able, it seems, to take a lot more pain than normally I would. I'll know more when I actually watch the video. I didn't get subdrop, though...

I think one confusing aspect would be the similarity between subdrop and love - when you love someone it is the same feeling when they leave you.

[ghostgirl]

There are ways to conduct the research. Samples can be taken before, during and after and EEGs etc can be done. Trouble would be getting ethical approval and funding for it. Consent issues would be a nightmare legally (and, yes, I'd volunteer as well :) )

I have been in subspace, apparently. At least the Mistress who was working on me said she recognised the symptoms - can't say I noticed myself. But I was able, it seems, to take a lot more pain than normally I would. I'll know more when I actually watch the video. I didn't get subdrop, though...

I think one confusing aspect would be the similarity between subdrop and love - when you love someone it is the same feeling when they leave you.


Yeah, i'd say one aspect of my experience of subspace is...pain signals translated as pleasure.

i'll happily volunteer for that portion of the study. :)



Since subdrop is unpredictable, not sure how you'd study it...?

[fetishdj]

The point would be to see what factors are present when subspace occurs. So, measure various factors (blood serum factors, EEG responses, visual symptoms and so on) and the follow with a questionairre to ask the sub if they experienced what they call subspace. Though questions would have to be carefully worded to be objective and not lead the subject. i.e. asking 'did you experience subspace?' is a subjective question that leads the subject into saying a particular response.

The pain resistance does seem to be a common aspect... apparently at one point my nipples were hanging really low with a lot of weight on them and I didn't notice. Well, I felt something but not 'pain' and not really pleasure. It was odd...

[icey]

I think one confusing aspect would be the similarity between subdrop and love - when you love someone it is the same feeling when they leave you.

im not sure about this i cant honestly say ive felt it that way.

as an eg this is how it affected me one time its the worst most prolonged 'drop' ive ever had.although admittedly it is hard to describe.

i was high as a kite for a while after playing,giddy laughing and wobbling all over the place,and Icehawk watched me carefully like always hugging me giving me a drink etc it was just the same as other times nothing out of the ordinary.
but then i started feeling really down really miserable as though something was not right.


i had a sleep a little later and struggled the rest of the day but Icehawk kept an eye on me,we knew it was from dropping ,but then all through that night i didnt sleep well and had some really bad dreams and nightsweats and the next morning i thought i was ok just tired and a bit disasociated but that it would pass which sometimes can happen with me so i didnt think that much of it.
but when we went shopping which in hindsight we shouldnt have, i was feeling shaky,nauseous and miserable on and off even irritated, over sensitive,

Icehawk left me just for a minute to get something and i got really paranoid it seemed like everyone was staring and talking about me,my vision was a little blurred i started feeling panicky and was convinced he had just abandoned me and started to cry and shake was hot and cold and i really thought i was going to vomit and at one point actually felt like i was going to pass out.
the guy at the checkout asked me if i wanted to sit down and have a sip of water but tbh while i heard him it was like from a distance i didnt even really take in what he was saying o that he was talking to me.

Icehawk had to hold me steady while we got back to the car keeping me constantly occupied and alert without overstimulating me or the minute my concentration went i was back to feeling dazed and weepy.

he gave me icecream tucked me up in bed and read to me until i fell asleep and didnt leave my side,it wasnt until a day or so later that fully stopped all the time he kept a close eye on me.

ive had the odd drop since then with some similar 'symptoms' but never as intense as that.
Even though we were aware of it and id had lows before,Icehawk had seen others drop too he'd never seen anyone react quite that badly luckily he's sensible and doesnt get stressed out but he admitted afterwards he'd been worried at one point it had unnerved him a bit too.

thats just something that happened to me and some have no doubt had it much worse and some much less but i think its something people do need to be aware of there isnt just the physical risks from playing but the emotional too and while people mention playing can be emotional and advise people on aftercare and what subspace can be like, how to do this how not to do that etc you can never really find much out there its a subject thats never really touched upon.
there's no stigma attached to it its not a failure and i think people should recognise that and be more open,it could be very helpful to others.

*jumps off the soap box* :)

[fetishdj]

Interesting abstract which is linked sort of to this topic... its just an abstract (not seen the full paper so I can't evaluate the evidence though not sure of the reliability of 'phone interviews') but it seems to suggest that BDSM is healthier for you than normal sex. Go us! :) Well, no apparent links with abuse, no anxiety, less depression anyway :)

Demographic and Psychosocial Features of Participants in Bondage and Discipline, "Sadomasochism" or Dominance and Submission (BDSM): Data from a National Survey.Richters J, de Visser RO, Rissel CE, Grulich AE, Smith AM.
School of Public Health and Community Medicine, University of New South Wales, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia.

Introduction. People with sexual interests in bondage and discipline, "sadomasochism" or dominance and submission (BDSM) have been seen by many professionals as damaged or dangerous. Aim. To examine sexual behavior correlates of involvement in BDSM and test the hypothesis that BDSM is practiced by people with a history of sexual coercion, sexual difficulties, and/or psychological problems. Methods. In Australia in 2001-2002, a representative sample of 19,307 respondents aged 16-59 years was interviewed by telephone. Weighted data analysis used univariate logistic regression. Main Outcome Measures. Self-reported demographic and psychosocial factors; sexual behavior and identity; sexual difficulties. Results. In total, 1.8% of sexually active people (2.2% of men, 1.3% of women) said they had been involved in BDSM in the previous year. This was more common among gay/lesbian and bisexual people. People who had engaged in BDSM were more likely to have experienced oral sex and/or anal sex, to have had more than one partner in the past year, to have had sex with someone other than their regular partner, and to have: taken part in phone sex, visited an Internet sex site, viewed an X-rated (pornographic) film or video, used a sex toy, had group sex, or taken part in manual stimulation of the anus, fisting or rimming. However, they were no more likely to have been coerced into sexual activity, and were not significantly more likely to be unhappy or anxious-indeed, men who had engaged in BDSM scored significantly lower on a scale of psychological distress than other men. Engagement in BDSM was not significantly related to any sexual difficulties. Conclusion. Our findings support the idea that BDSM is simply a sexual interest or subculture attractive to a minority, and for most participants not a pathological symptom of past abuse or difficulty with "normal" sex.

[gemmy]

All very cool reading - thank you icey for the post :D

I've not offered anything on this as I've never experienced sub-space and wouldn't know *pouts* hehe

Thanks to all for the information though :D

[Arria]

I´d like to add my 2 cents here.

During the beginning of my actual relationship (which is my first S/M relationship), this happened quite a few times. I would not blame my Dom for it. It did not happen immediately after a scene, either - it surfaced slowly during the next couple of days, and the more I had enjoyed the scene, the more intense the inner fight was later on.

The main reasons/causes were, as I would see it now:
1. I was not aware that I liked certain things. Even more, the idea that I could like certain things shocked and disgusted me.
The realisation that I not only liked some things that had happened, but that those in turn made me want to dive even further into submission, was also scary for me.
2. No man except him had ever before had such influence over me. I let go of my self-control, I let go of some principles, I allowed facets of myself to appear which I used to hide even from myself pretty much.

So, it could happen that I transformed my insecurities and fears into rage, which I then directed against him.
He, having had years of BDSM experience (and I don´t mean online...), understood all that - he even pointed it out to me later, when I had calmed down again.
We have been together for more than 10 years now, and I learned my own feelings/desires better now, though there still are surprises. But if those surface now, I try and talk about them much sooner - without letting my feelings scare me so much, and without directing anger at him.

This is the only "subdrop" experience I had, and I would say this is prone to happen at the beginning of a new BDSM relationship - which is one of the reasons why I so strongly recommend that one new to the lifestyle should take his first steps with someone experienced, if at all possible.

I am sure there are other subdrop varieties, maybe caused by a scene gone wrong etc., but I havent´had those, so I cannot contribute anything helpful, except that it is important to communicate after such an experience; but I trust most people are already aware of this.

Kind regards
Arria

[Hime]

Wanted to come back to this thread now, since this past week I had my first really bad sub drop experience. It kind of felt like the feeling I have right before a panic attack. And yes, we did aftercare and everything -- I think the thing that was different from usual was that the scene was really clearly demarcated from "real life", so as opposed to continuously dealing with the emotions as I moved back into a regular level of consciousness, it was kind of like this:

during: oh shit this is intense. I'm really gone here. I'm in trouble...
immediately after: okay, that wasn't real... everything's okay... we're all hugging and laughing and eating chinese food. Let's just not think about that for a while...
the next day: wait, that really happened, didn't it? I was really vulnerable back there. How did I let that happen?! Is it going to happen again?!

and I, um, went out and drank wine until it went away. Remember, kids, I'm not a role model. :p

[Ownedfyre (mm1)]

I had something similar to this recently. I was doing some learning about pain with a Dom. I was performing tasks. The more I got into it the more I got into a drowsy aroused state where I felt 'high' off of it. I was completely out of it. But when we moved on to something else that wasn't pleasant, I began to come around. I found that I was not happy. Then I wanted to cry. I was so down. I was miserable. I felt like I had failed horribly. It was really awful. And it took me some time to get over it. I was so sad. I just remember I wanted to cry.

[icey]

ive had that sadness and failure feeling a few times lol and im sure others have too so dont worry or feel bad about it need2please :) you havnt failed at all, and if you think about it as with anything one minute you're feeling great then the next you're doing something you dont like you're not going to be too happy lol

but if you dont like something especially when its some form of play where it is making you unhappy or you're not comfortable with then you should alway say so!
people talk of pushing limits, subs often feel they should do somethiing and worry about displeasing their Dom/me which is all well and good and everybody does it at some point but when its making you unhappy then your partner should learn to recognise that and make sure you are ok,
as always discuss discuss discuss! find out what went wrong, and if you cant come up with an alternative or way around it, then dont do that particular activity again...it's just not for you that all



during: ioh shit this is intense. I'm really gone here. I'm in trouble...
this always feels a bit strange to me, you always know deep down that you are ok and ar'nt in trouble (if you dont then perhaps playing isnt such a good idea lol) but yet it still wont go away that ..oh shit feeling lol
i think some bdsm play is a bit of a headf**k and its not just the pain that causes the high,

maybe that thats one of the reason the drop occurs afterwards you've gone from being (sometimes) s**t scared, and then all of a sudden back to hugging reassurance ..chinese food ;) kind of weird when you think about it.

immediately after: okay, that wasn't real... everything's okay... we're all hugging and laughing and eating chinese food.
Let's just not think about that for a while...
the next day: wait, that really happened, didn't it? I was really vulnerable back there. How did I let that happen?! Is it going to happen again?
thinking about it is probably a good idea, you need to put your feelings into perspective both befoe duing (when thats possible) and most important of all afterwards.
when you've experienced such a 'trauma' which in a way is what it is,like anything else you need to deal with it and see if thee's a way of prevent it from happening again or at least a way of trying to minimise the effects rather than just tuck it away.

the eg i gave when a few days later i was back to 'normal' we discussed it and came up with the conclusion that for that particular type of play (ahell of lot of needles and blood letting was involved too lol) we would build up slowly rather than with other games where we like to jump straight in so to speak.
and we've done that each time since and even though the needles always without fail get me high it's never caused me to drop so badly again...maybe its coincidence but it does seem to work :)

[bloodtigress]

i do have a question.... what should a sub do when he/or she has been left in subspace after a scene and the Dom has literaly left the vacinity and left the sub there what are the dangers of this and what should a submissive to in this situation?

i was in a scene with my Master and it was a very intense scene and after words i was very deeply into subspace He unbound me then left me be no words besides i am tired i am going home then left me there in subspace i did experience a harsh subdrop at this and am very confused as to why He would do this to me and i need to know what i should do besides talk to Master about it what should i do if He isnt responsive to it or if He does it again. what can i do to bring myself down from subspace if it should happen and what are the dangers most importantly of being left alone in subspace?

[blythe spirit]

Just my two cents here, tigress, but if he's not responsive when you communicate how awful you felt, I'd dump his sorry ass.

In reading this thread, I realize now that I've experienced subdrop twice. Once from an onliner and once in r/l. Once immediately after and once the next day.

When I called the onliner, in near hysterics, he said, "I can't talk now, I'll call you later." (he was busy having coffee) Needless to say, when he called I told him to eff off and slammed the receiver in his ear. I never wanted to experience anything like that again - especially sans support.

In the r/l relationship, it had been the first time and was an intense five days (although it wasn't a BDSM relationship, more daddy/lg, it involved some of the kink, that I won't even allow myself to remember). When he left after five days I felt myself seriously dropping emotionally. And I truly thought it was just his absence at first. But it became a physical thing as well (i.e. shaking all over, feeling dizzy, a pounding headache, a racing heart - yeah, kinda like a panic attack)

When he called, I was still experiencing this and he was able to talk me through it - even though he had no idea what subdrop was.

So, yes, in retrospect, I do believe I've experienced subdrop - and it's damn scary. But, tigress, I don't think it'll kill you to go through it alone.