View Full Version : Seeking a mentor
Guest011909
04-25-2008, 11:47 PM
Do any of you ladies know of a good Dom who you trust who might be interested in mentoring me? I feel like I'm kind of freefalling/floating out here as I search for a master. Someone suggested on one of my other posts that I ask subs around here for recommendations....
lily27
04-26-2008, 07:20 AM
I would take some time to read through some older threads, and see if there is anyone that catches your eye. Then PM them and get to know them.
Everyone's opinions are going to be different. There are some Doms on here that many people think are jerks, and I find them insightful and willing to speak their minds..... whereas other Doms that people think are fantastic, and I see them as asshats. What matters is your opinion of their ability to mentor you.
Beware of anyone who jumps on this thread to offer their own services. A mentor will give you advice and guidance... not try to get into your pants.
Good luck.
butterflySlave4u
04-26-2008, 07:26 AM
there are many here, pettobecaged...lily gives you good advise here....also come to the H&HSC, it's a safe place for you to wait as you "freefall/float"...and i know that feeling well....
DowntownAmber
04-26-2008, 08:45 AM
I have to agree with lily in that everyone will have differing opinions on who is fantastic and who is an asshat... (I'm so happy I got to use the word "asshat" today! ;) )
You've posted several threads so far, keep an eye out for those who responses you consider thoughtful and helpful. PM them, ask them to expand on their thoughts and if they are wiling to help ask them for further mentoring. I would also add that it might not be a bad idea to ask one or two of the subs to mentor. I am fairly new to the Lifestyle myself, and I have had just as much luck and benefit listening to the submissives out there as I have the Doms. Good luck!
Ozme52
04-26-2008, 03:56 PM
Though you're not specifically asking us gents....the best advice I could give is to take your time.
And treat online the way you would a real life encounter. If soeone comes on srong and pushy, you'd think twice in real life. Ultimately, you can be as easily emotionally hurt online as in real life... and even though you think you have full control physically, a strong-willed but inexperienced dom/me can get you injured online too.
So use your good sense in judging and picking someone who you will, for all intents and purposes, be giving yourself to. I would venture the biggest reason we "lose" members is because of bad results from online relationships.
cadence
04-26-2008, 04:12 PM
It depends on what kind of advice you are seeking from a mentor.
Dominants make good mentors for some advice, but I would also seek out other submissives who can offer up thier own words of wisdom.
They have more than likely already been there and are better equipped with information on how to handle difficult situations.
I won't reiterate what everyone else has already said, but I would follow up on lily's advice.
Only you will know by talking to others how comfortable you feel with them.
Also don’t just find one mentor, ask as many as you feel comfortable with. Everyone views things differently and it is better to have varying opinions that just one individual one.
Guest011909
04-27-2008, 08:33 PM
Asshat...nice!
Guest011909
04-27-2008, 08:34 PM
there are many here, pettobecaged...lily gives you good advise here....also come to the H&HSC, it's a safe place for you to wait as you "freefall/float"...and i know that feeling well....
What is H S & C?
there are a lot of decent Doms out there who can make good mentors i know of a couple here who i would trust and recommend though im not going to presume and post their names..but as cadence mentioned, have you thought about a sub? one with a bit of experience under their belt sometimes that can make it easier,you'll probably feel less nervous,more likely to speak about and question anything you might be worried to ask a Dom and not only can a sub give the 'practical' advice but a different perspective ....from the subs side so to speak.
if you do find a Dom mentor.. watch out for anyone who tries to persuade you that you need to be actively playing with him unfortunately there are a few out there that will take advantage, perhaps you could ask around see if he is 'known' at all ? his character ...if he has a good reputation etc
you also cant be 'trained' as such.. its generally more of a guidance and support thing than 'lessons'
TomOfSweden
04-29-2008, 05:09 AM
I suspect that posting questions out into the open will:
1) get you better answers
2) be more fun for us
I'm not saying that you shouldn't have a mentor.
What is H S & C?
It's the Hot & Horny Subs Club, petto- http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7663
Never been there myself- too scared to look! :eek:
Logic1
04-29-2008, 07:03 AM
I suspect that posting questions out into the open will:
1) get you better answers
2) be more fun for us
I'm not saying that you shouldn't have a mentor.
haha
that answer is just the greatest!
and I agree to the fullest extent for sure.
that and the both a Dom and sub as mentors is definitely a great idea.
Guest011909
04-30-2008, 03:30 PM
i like the idea of a sub mentor. Know anyone you could recommend?
Guest011909
04-30-2008, 03:32 PM
Well, i don't have any specific questions...other than the ones i've already posted...it's more the general support i was looking for...oh, heck...i don't know!
jeanne
04-30-2008, 07:44 PM
Since you've been here, you've probably read lots of posts by experienced submissives. One or two probably consistently have stood out to you - you've found yourself agreeing with what they wrote or thinking that they sound a lot like you. PM them and ask if they'd be willing to be a guide/mentor/sounding board for you. (Same thing with the Doms.) I'm sure you'll get at least one positive response. Good luck!