H&HSC Mentoring Program...

[butterflySlave4u]

Greetings Fellow Library Inhabitants...

By way of introduction, I am butterflySlave4u, but you can call me bfly for short...a lot of people do...

As you can see by my signature, i haven’t been here very long, a little over a year, but have bonded with many wonderful people. And I’m still learning my way around the forums. It’s all new stuff to me, kind of mind boggling sometimes...i’ve come to “The Life” late in life, only identifying my submissive side within the past 4 years....and the journey is ongoing...and that, dear reader, is the purpose of this post...


As I travel through the forums, i’ve seen the “Please Introduce Yourselves” threads...and many people do, it actually looks like MOST do, and that’s a good thing...but I’ve recently noticed an influx of “newbies” registering here. Mostly young people, new to “The Way”. And I have been approached by a few, asking advise, or just needing someone to talk to. And I’ve pointed them to the Hot & Horny Subs Club, but I feel that the Club isn’t enough. And so I’ve started this thread, so as to give those of us who are willing to invest the time, the opportunity to let the newer ones know that we're willing to take them under our wings and guide them through this new terrain.

Ideally, the only posts in this thread would be our wonderful bunch of subbies volunteering to help, and the subbies looking for mentoring would click on those names, and contact us by Pm....LOL!! I’ve been here long enough to know the THAT won’t work here
So it will be interesting to see how this pans out...

And if it ends up on page 477, it’ll still be here for someone searching...and maybe I’ll bump it every once in a while...

[butterflySlave4u]

....and so it only seems fair that i volunteer myself first...my name is Karen, and i'm 50 years old. Uncollared at the moment, but i have been in the past. Any questions?? PM me....

[lily27]

I am always willing to help where I can, but with a baby due in two months I can't take part in any kind of "official" mentoring relationship. I am always willing to throw out my opinion when it is asked for (and often when it isn't asked for).

I am 28 and have been in the lifestyle for the past three years or so. I have been living in a 24/7 relationship with my Master for the last year.

[icey]

i hope that anyone who is interested will take up on the offers, we've all had to start somewhere and felt nervous or foolish asking questions or talking about any concerns, i think its a lovely idea butterfly, thankyou :) i hope people appreciate it!

im happy to help out if i can, if anyone wants to they're more than welcome to send me a pm.

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I'll be glad to help any newbies in this lifestyle. I'm 47, have been in the lifestyle for almost 10 years and have been collared for the past 8 1/2 years. I started out online before it became real life. If anyone needs any help pr advice just send me a PM and I'll try all I can.

[~faerie~]

Hugs and hellos to everyone. I'm ShyGreenEyedGrl, but you can call me Shy. I am 30 and i am still relatively new to the lifestyle. This is my first Master and we have been together for 6 months. It started out here online and then on the phone, and now we are r/l. I am ever inquisitive and i would love to be a part of this. I may not have all the answers, but ask away!

[Tojo]

:supercool

[angelic.zest]

ive always liked the idea of a mentoring program...when i first joined the library they had a simular system in the chat and i was paired up with someone who was a doll and we are to this day still friends and best budes and she tells me when im fucking up and i do the same for her.. and i would so be willing to help out anyone who needs answers and if i dont know them then i will ask

Didra 25, owned female still new but learning as i go along feel free to Pm if u have questions

[butterflySlave4u]

:bump:

cuz it's important....... :11:

[thrall]

im always happy to help.......just give me a shout.

[Isabelle90]

Wow!! This is fantastic! Great idea bfly!!! We should all try to bump this one on occasion so that others will know who's out there offering mentorship!

[butterflySlave4u]

i agree totally, Isabelle....it's important for the newer ones to know we're here....

[thrall]

Wow!! This is fantastic! Great idea bfly!!! We should all try to bump this one on occasion so that others will know who's out there offering mentorship!



lol...........yes i agree......lol

[DowntownAmber]

Heck, I'm always willing to throw in my two cents... ;)

Amber, 29, in the Lifestyle r/l for just over a year now.

[bellelapine]

I'll probably ask a LOT more questions than I ever answer, but since I'm anything but shy or modest....if I ask maybe someone too shy to will get the answer? teeehee.

[butterflySlave4u]

bellelapine you need to come hang out at the H&HSC!! we have chocolate!

[bellelapine]

You said chocolate? :eek: I luffffffffffffffffsssssssssssssssss chocolate...it is my precious.

*is the fact I said that in gollum's voice a bad sign?*

[butterflySlave4u]

:bump:


:wave:

[Tojo]

If I may make a comment.....

This is a great idea IMO- I don't believe I or any Dom can 'train' someone to be a submissive. A D/s relationship is a special bond between two people, who make their own rules.

I can talk to a new sub, ask questions & listen to her thoughts- however, so can other subs. It makes perfect sense for new girls to talk to & listen to other subs.

They know just as much about it as any Dom, & are much less likely to be blowing their own trumpets, or wanting a good time before you're ready.

[butterflySlave4u]

i agree totally, Tojo, and thank You for weighing in, after all, this is a forum!!

While I know that the term “training” is appropriate, i think it’s more of setting limits, between two people. IMHO “submissive” can’t be taught, it’s felt. It’s “within” you. i know that i’m submissive, and have been from a very early age. But i wasn’t able to identify it as such until a wonderful man found me in a vanilla chatroom and opened up my world. NOW i have somewhere that i fit in, and i know my place, my station in life, and i’ll always be grateful to Him for that.

and it's true, there are many here that are new to the Life. Sometimes it scares me, knowing how many young subs are wandering around in here, falling for a line (in print) that they'd never consider listening to in a bar! And what they're looking for HERE is SO much more of a commitment than a one night stand.

also, the number of wannabes, ESPECIALLY in here, wanting to "try it out", and coming in to kick the tires. i had a young dom (note the lack of capitalization) ask me the other day if it would be ok to call me "mommy", because of my age....well, one, we were no where close to entering into a roleplay....two, this was about 4 minutes in, of our FIRST contact, and third, i knew NOTHING about the guy (and i'm assuming it was male, as IT wasn't terribly forthcoming with the info!) And as i laughed and walked away, leaving him with his “throbbing babyhood” in his hand, it occurred to me that if i was less experienced than i am at weeding out the the twits, if i hadn't known that something THAT stupid could happen, i'd be back there breastfeeding him right now! LOL!........but the truth is, it DOES happen, and our subbies need to be aware of it...this place is not a meat market, it's where like minded people meet to converse, share ideas, and possibly connect, and they need to know that.

[bellelapine]

I think that D/s relationships and interactions can be like any other type of attempt at finding "the one" ( or "the many" depending on your preference)...you're going to have those who think about one thing.
Not that Doms shouldn't think of themselves but to me part of being a collared sub is to have a Sir that looks after me, makes sure I am caring for myself so I can better serve Him. He makes sure I'm as well taken care of as He is (if not more because a happy pet is a good pet). A sub can be more demanding than a Dom in some cases because some of us have had such a rough go of life itself or have needs that "just any Dom" can't fulfill.
Like any lifestyle choice (be it religion, philosophy, BDSM, ect...) you'll have your share of snakes and your share of mongooses. It's finding the mongoose(s) that makes it all the better.


admittedly i'm on a rikki tikki tavi kick

[butterflySlave4u]

I think that D/s relationships and interactions can be like any other type of attempt at finding "the one" ( or "the many" depending on your preference)...you're going to have those who think about one thing.
Not that Doms shouldn't think of themselves but to me part of being a collared sub is to have a Sir that looks after me, makes sure I am caring for myself so I can better serve Him. He makes sure I'm as well taken care of as He is (if not more because a happy pet is a good pet). A sub can be more demanding than a Dom in some cases because some of us have had such a rough go of life itself or have needs that "just any Dom" can't fulfill.
Like any lifestyle choice (be it religion, philosophy, BDSM, ect...) you'll have your share of snakes and your share of mongooses. It's finding the mongoose(s) that makes it all the better.


i agree totally belle, and that's why the young ones need the mentoring to begin with....to weed out the snakes :)

[gemmy]

A long time ago when I was first new to letting my subbie side finally breath and have a life, it terrified me to talk to anyone. I sat back and read and read and read. I had a Domly type tell me I should go on the sites and meet other subbies and talk to them to learn.

Scared out of my mind, I freaked out at him - "Are you kidding!?! I have no experience, no knowledge, no basis, they'll just laugh me out of any chatroom or site. No way!!"

I had no idea that experienced subbies have been in a new subs shoes, remember all the trepidation, the fear, the doubt that a new sub goes through. I also had no idea how wonderfully kind they are and are happily willing to share their experiences with you to help teach you and keep you from harm of the wannabes.

It still took me about a year to come around and start talking to these 'wonderous' subs who live the life and know well what it's all about and how hard it really can be. I have since mentored a few and am happy I've been able to contribute back what was once given to me.

All of these ladies posting and offering their help are amazing and worth taking up on their offer ;)

[butterflySlave4u]

:bump: .......... :wave:

[stripedangel]

OK, so we all know where i stand at this moment...mentor me, if you like, in what you see i'm lacking...

otherwise, i'm willing to add to the perspective if i can. i'm 35, and have been round the lifestyle for about 4 years. in r/l M/s relationship for about 6 months.

just PM.....

[stripedangel]

A long time ago when I was first new to letting my subbie side finally breath and have a life, it terrified me to talk to anyone. I sat back and read and read and read. I had a Domly type tell me I should go on the sites and meet other subbies and talk to them to learn.

Scared out of my mind, I freaked out at him - "Are you kidding!?! I have no experience, no knowledge, no basis, they'll just laugh me out of any chatroom or site. No way!!"

I had no idea that experienced subbies have been in a new subs shoes, remember all the trepidation, the fear, the doubt that a new sub goes through. I also had no idea how wonderfully kind they are and are happily willing to share their experiences with you to help teach you and keep you from harm of the wannabes.

It still took me about a year to come around and start talking to these 'wonderous' subs who live the life and know well what it's all about and how hard it really can be. I have since mentored a few and am happy I've been able to contribute back what was once given to me.

All of these ladies posting and offering their help are amazing and worth taking up on their offer ;)


LOL! ...and here you are, giving some of the best advice i've seen. i've said it before and i'll say it again, you're a gem!:wave:

[Alessa]

in r/l M/s relationship for about 6 months.

just PM.....

Hello! My name is Alessa, I am 21 and a noob as it were to the bdsm scene.

Firstly, what does r/l mean?:confused:

And secondly, because I am new I am not really all that up to snuff with protocol or certain daily things a submissive does so if anyone can give me any pointers, it would be much appreciated.

[~faerie~]

Hello! My name is Alessa, I am 21 and a noob as it were to the bdsm scene.

Firstly, what does r/l mean?:confused:

And secondly, because I am new I am not really all that up to snuff with protocol or certain daily things a submissive does so if anyone can give me any pointers, it would be much appreciated.

r/l is real life...as opposed to o/l online.
As for daily things...it all depends on you and your Master/Mistress if you have one, or the one you will find. Figure out what you like and go from there.

Check out the rest of the forums there is so much info on here it can be a little overwhelming. Take your time to explore. Check out the chat room...don't be shy no one will bite...or maybe they will. *grins*

Don't be afaid to pm (private message) any one of us or any one of the moderators. we are all here to learn and grow.

Welcome! :wave:

Shy

[denuseri]

so true so true, if any sub ever needs anything they need but ask, i am allways willing to help, heck a couple times i even train some doms,, though ive noticed dommes ussually dont seem to need any pointers funny huh?, anyway, i hope yu find the answers yur looking for, and remember , yur fellow sub sistas, are here to help,
wellcum to the site

[butterflySlave4u]

r/l is real life...as opposed to o/l online.
As for daily things...it all depends on you and your Master/Mistress if you have one, or the one you will find. Figure out what you like and go from there.

Check out the rest of the forums there is so much info on here it can be a little overwhelming. Take your time to explore. Check out the chat room...don't be shy no one will bite...or maybe they will. *grins*

Don't be afaid to pm (private message) any one of us or any one of the moderators. we are all here to learn and grow.

Welcome! :wave:

Shy


*grins*

Look at you bein' all "not shy" and stuff!! Good for you, sweetie!!!

and absolutely, denuseri, i'd forgotten all about the moderators!! it's their jobs to guide ALL of us, and Alessa, if THEY can't help, they can find someone who can!

Karen

[Borgs_slave]

I have been a slave for 14 years and by no means know it all but am always happy to help someone. I think mentoring is a great way to help others maybe avoid some of the hard lessons we had to learn or a way to share experiences and give friendly advice.

The only stupid questions or the ones not asked. We all had to start somewhere.

[Borgs_slave]

AScared out of my mind, I freaked out at him - "Are you kidding!?! I have no experience, no knowledge, no basis, they'll just laugh me out of any chatroom or site. No way!!"

;)


It is a shame that some sites foster that kind of no learning environment. I think as a community we have a duty to help those new and not admonish them for trying to learn. People forget that they were new once too. When I was 22 I went to a munch and a submissive that supposedly "mentored" told me to bring a note pad because she only answered stupid questions once. I failed to see how that fostered learning and growth and vowed to never be like that.

[gemmy]

It is a shame that some sites foster that kind of no learning environment. I think as a community we have a duty to help those new and not admonish them for trying to learn. People forget that they were new once too. When I was 22 I went to a munch and a submissive that supposedly "mentored" told me to bring a note pad because she only answered stupid questions once. I failed to see how that fostered learning and growth and vowed to never be like that.

Hi hun, I think you've taken my quote a bit out of context there lol - that's only what I thought would happen, being so new and all but never did happen. In all honesty, on all the sites I've been on, I've only found gentle help and guidance from those that are true at least ;)

[butterflySlave4u]

*smiles looking above*

two different voices saying the same thing, and that's the passion that we carry with us about this program...Hugggggggs to you both.....Thank You...


Karen

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

*huggles butterfly* you did it!!! great thread sis.......and hello all. i'm 41, currently under consideration (awaiting my collar with heartfelt joy), and have been in the lifestyle for about 15 years.......i too started online before my real time experience. I would like to insert a little caution here that those of you who are new and think that online is just "play", please talk to someone with experience so that you learn just how deeply an online relationship can affect you.

Again, as many have said, ,the only dumb question is the one not asked. Trust me, in this lifestyle......not asking can also be dangerous *soft smile*. Feel free to PM me or yell out in chat. Look forward to meeting everyone.

Tyd

[slaveangel{HM}]

*smiles* Wonderful thread love hugssss xx I too am around if anyone needs me x

[ragdoll]

Umm well here it is. I'm a 22 year old bi femme, I've lived with my Dom for three and a half years now. Throughout that time we've wavered back and forth between casual and hardcore with our play, since he was going to Grad school when I moved in and I work full time and go to college we have little time to devote to the more carnal pleasures, so we found ways to express our... relationship in our everday life. Nothing so base as I cook and clean and do the whole fifties housewife thing... but just little things, asking permission, and doing something to please him. When I've done something well that moment of pure pleasure at seeing his satisfaction is nearly as good as well... you know.

Anyhow, I've always leaned towards being submissive, some of my first fantasies as I was growing revolved around bondage, although I doubt I would have called it that at the time. I grew interested and fiddled about in the Yahoo chats, it's actually where I met Sir, about 8 years ago. Then I moved here under the pretense of just being friends and he had a couch I could crash on and well... I never slept on the couch. *wink* Anyways... I'm rambling and unfocused so I will just stop now.

[butterflySlave4u]

*smiles*

"I'm rambling and unfocused"

that, my dear, is the effect of the full moon...


welcome....you're safe here....

[Ownedfyre (mm1)]

Thank you for this thread. Most of you know me from seeing me around. I am relatively new to the lifestyle. I am 35. I am with a Master here who is teaching me a lot about submission, and we are also learning a lot from each other. I look forward to meeting with him in R/L in the near future. Reading the forums has been extremely educational for me. The knowledge and experiences of others have helped answer a lot of my initial questions. The more I learn the more I WANT to learn. I look forward to getting to know you all more and hope that I can contribute in some way to the H&HSC.

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

*huggles butterfly* you did it!!! great thread sis.......and hello all. i'm 41, currently under consideration (awaiting my collar with heartfelt joy), and have been in the lifestyle for about 15 years.......i too started online before my real time experience. I would like to insert a little caution here that those of you who are new and think that online is just "play", please talk to someone with experience so that you learn just how deeply an online relationship can affect you.

Again, as many have said, ,the only dumb question is the one not asked. Trust me, in this lifestyle......not asking can also be dangerous *soft smile*. Feel free to PM me or yell out in chat. Look forward to meeting everyone.

Tyd

I absolutely agree with you here, tyd. Because of the fact that online play isn't face to face, people assume that it isn't real, in the sense that it's only "pretend." That isn't true at all. There is a real, live person in front of each of those computer screens. Online play can very quickly become very real, though sometimes (a lot of the times, actually) it becomes real to only one of the people involved. I can remember many times when my online Doms said or did something that deeply affected me and I would sit in front of my screen with tears running down my face.

What is really interesting about this site is that we have so many people of varying ages and years of experience, so we all have something to offer. I myself am 47 with 10 years experience (which includes both online and r/l). Like others have said here, we all start at the beginning; we were all newbies at one point and we all have to keep that in mind when dealing with newcomers to the site. I'm in chat quite often, but I also post a lot and there is always PM. So I'm available when needed by others.

[mandy77]

When I first joined I was totally inexperienced, just looking for some fun times and some information (not that I consider myself experienced now - but would love to talk to other newbies). I had the attitude it's only OL and felt that it could not be a real relationship. Then I met a wonderful man called Moonraker who, after about 6 weeks of getting to know each other well, was to become my first and only OL dom. He helped me explore my submissiveness, learn about bdsm and um yes about cyber too. He has taught me so many other things as well - from computers to history to politics. Often the things he tells me remain with me throughout the day and I look forward to chatting with him every day. In addition to unscheduled meetings we have planned weekly e-dates, which are absolutely wonderful - wink wink. We like to refer to our relationship as TTWD - This Thing We Do - to remind us that every D/s couple is different with a special relationship which works for them and satisfies both partners needs and desires.
Now, six months later, I can't imagine life without this man, my dom, my friend and my lover:) The point I want to make is that my attitude has changed completely from when I first joined - I no longer think its not real because it's OL. My feelings are real, deep and very much a part of my everyday real life.
If anyone would like to chat or ask any questions about OL D/s relationships or how mine works so well -please feel free to PM me. I think I will be posting some questions of my own as well. Thank you Butterfly for starting this thread, I love to make new friends and share views.

[Tojo]

There's some excellent posts on this thread- the point is well made that an online relationship is very real indeed. It can hurt just as much as a face to face one if things go wrong.

I'm in the process of buying an Eternity Collar for a girl who lives far across the sea. I've never met her, but we've chatted a few times a day for 2 1/2 years now & she's very special to me.

[Ownedfyre (mm1)]

I have been in an online D/s relationship for a little over a month now. I have learned a lot about myself in the process. Things I never imagined I would deal with in a situation that has no physical contact. Self doubt, neediness, emotional extremes, happiness, sadness, pleasure, pain. I have run the gamut in regards to my emotions. I have also learned patience, discipline, self respect, respect for others and how to communicate more effectively. I fully believe that this is a real relationship. What kind of relationship? Well it is too early to tell. But I have never for one moment thought of it as a game. When you let someone into your most secret places you have to trust them. Trust always involves some level of emotion and commitment. I could never share the things I have with Him if I did not trust him. I honestly cannot imagine going into some sort of relationship with a Dom online or in real life with the attitude that it is just a game and feelings have no place. Not only is it unhealthy, it is a complete waste of time for everyone involved. I can honestly say that when I first joined this site I too was offered many times to be someone's slave. And there were a few I actually considered. But I think that the right combination has to be there. You can't just hook up with the any Dom you meet just to be dominated. We all have our own unique tastes and you have to find a Dom that fits that mold. Sometimes through trial and error, but eventually when you do get there it is so worth the wait. I am new and learning, so I am not a voice of experience, but I feel that what little I do know is worth sharing! :)

[denuseri]

i think thats one of the things that makesthis site great , we do mentor each other here, i am allways willing to learn and grow, and allways willing to help out my fellow sistas in bondage,, heck sometimes ive even mentored some doms, even rehibilitated some wanna be's, but toot toot on my horn does nuthing, its actions that make the difference, keep at it everyone and fyre u are so right to hold out for the "right" dom, or domme,it will be so much more worth the effort, ive seen too many subs limit thier options to learn becuase they glommed unto the first dominate that came thier way and then stopped learning from or having contact with any others (ussually over territory issues) brought on by a jealous dom not wanting to see his sub talk to anyone but him etc, mentorship is the responsibility of u all, its called keeping the faith

[Borgs_slave]

Here is a nice article by Jack Rinella. It gives some basic good advice for those new starting out.




http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/Lifestyle/overcoming_fears.htm

[butterflySlave4u]

Thank you, Borgs_slave, the advice in this article is priceless, and this is exactly where it should be included!

The whole site, IMHO, was excellent, especially the section entitled
"submissive or slave (http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/sub_or_slave1.htm)", a popular, and often misleading concept...and while it is only one persons opinion, it gives one food for thought....

[Aussiegirl1]

Great idea butterfly! I am also happy to mentor and or answer any questions.

I have experience with o/l mostly, and can certainly agree it is very, very real! I also have been very fortunate to have avoided the "snakes" at the start of my journey a few years ago. I am lucky to have two wonderful men, Tojo and Warbaby, in my life who have guided me and allowed me to explore my sub side in a safe and loving environment.

[butterflySlave4u]

:bump:


:wave:

[mandy77]

:icon176: Hi everyone!!

[denuseri]

hugs and wellcum to the thread mandy

[stripedangel]

Well, y'all have certainly been mentoring me!

i would like to spread the word to the H&HSC about a meeting that we are planning in order to support survivors of abuse...

It will be held in the chats, in a separate room, on Friday night, June 13. Please PM Denuseri or me with a time that you can be there, if you wish to attend, and we will announce a time for the meeting on the "victums of abuse support for submissives" thread before Friday.

Sorry for jacking the thread, go back to your conversation! LOL

[gemmy]

Good luck to all on the meeting, I'm sure it will help many :)

[butterflySlave4u]

Well, y'all have certainly been mentoring me!

i would like to spread the word to the H&HSC about a meeting that we are planning in order to support survivors of abuse...

It will be held in the chats, in a separate room, on Friday night, June 13. Please PM Denuseri or me with a time that you can be there, if you wish to attend, and we will announce a time for the meeting on the "victums of abuse support for submissives" thread before Friday.

Sorry for jacking the thread, go back to your conversation! LOL


absolutely, stripey, this is info that needs to get out too :)

[butterflySlave4u]

:bump:

[denuseri]

lol yu be bumpin yu be bumpin , thats so cute,, hey psst, whispers in your ear, thanks for all the support for the submissive support group butterfly, the only reason i didnt post that thread in here is because this section is not open to the public and i wanted all the subs on the site to see it,, hope this catches yu with lots of hugs and kissess

[stripedangel]

OK, y'all, denu and i will just be available in the chats off and on from 12 noon till midnight, if need be. We plan to just let it flow, so bring your talkin fingers!!

ty for letting me jack the thread once more...huggles!

And that will be tomorrow, Friday the 13th...
xxx

[butterflySlave4u]

Um....stripey? Noon to Midnight in what time zone, dear?? :d

[stripedangel]

errrr...sorry...i think denu is eastern lol, i'm central here, so noon central i will be online!

Thanks for pointing that out butterfly!!


xxxxx

[Jallure]

Hello all, I am 46yo female, hetero, and have recently realized that I have been a sexual submissive all my life. In the past year I have really gotten into to learning more, reading, viewing the internet etc. This is what I am meant to be. I have no qualms, hesitation, or concerns about why it is so, it just is. But for years I was in a cloud, not knowing what/who I really was, I was living the most vanilla of lives; I don't even like vanilla ice cream! I married a wonderful, but a very, v e r y vanilla man. He is trying to give me what I would like, but the trying is obvious, and therefore unsatisfying. I am into humiliation, submission and not being in control as opposed to being in pain. But try as he may, he is not into it, so I remain frustrated, and stunted. And add to this that in our day to day lives I am the dominant one. He relies on me so much for so many things and decisions, and often I cannot trust him to do as he said he would. There is no respite, even in bed, where I feel that I need/want it most. I have developed a fantasy Dom. This fantasy or imaginary Dom will tell me how to be, what to do, when to submit to the vanilla missionary position, etc. It helps sometimes, but at other times the frustration turns to anger, and I will lash out at my poor unwitting husband. I am committed to this marriage, but sometimes…I wish it were different.

[butterflySlave4u]

:bump:

[butterflySlave4u]

:bump:

[denuseri]

hugs and kissess all,, i really feel as if mentorship is as much a privilage as a duty for we sisters in servitude and or submission to reach back and help those not so far down the road as we may be
we also can lend an ear or comfort to those beside us on the path

and i really would like to thank those special ones in who's footsteps i follow
without the trail they leave for me i would surely be lost indeed.

[butterflySlave4u]

:bump:

[stripedangel]

y'all, i gotta tell ya i've been a member of other sites and they don't have groups like this. Sure, everybody is willing to help, they're all friendly and stuff, but it's not an organized setup for mentoring newbies.

Thanks.

xxxx

[Borgs_slave]

OK I have an issue and Master has given me his take and now I need more. I am helping a friend start a bdsm site. It is doing well and membership is growing, however, not many post on the forums or blogs as of it. So a few weeks ago a couple joined and were active, which was great. I added them to my friends list and so on. Well then they started posting sarcastic and condescending comments on my blogs and profile. He has become very snarky on others too. I am a mod too. I addressed it then his sub sent me this nasty, defensive message. So I let it go and when they did this again I addressed it. They are very passive aggressive and play innocent. I don't find it amusing at all.

It seems that he always has to one up someone and prove how wonderful he is. I am not the administrator so I can spank but not delete. I have gone to her several times and she is reluctant to kick them off because of "numbers". So I decided to ignore them I took them off my friends list and try not to interact them with them anymore than I have to but the snarkiness and passive aggressiveness towards me keeps on going. I am not leaving the site, two nasty people are not going to make me do that. How do I deal with them any differently and just let it go? ;ha

[Lady Hecate]

I am completely brand new to this lifestyle, and I have found a sub Trainer on this forum, and I do like Him very much.

But, that said, I do occasionally feel a little awkward about learning to behave in a 100% submissive way.

Like you, Bfly, I do realize that I have always been submissive. It has always taken an enormous effort for me to act like I am "in charge", and even then sometimes I have been told by others that I am not very convincing in that role.
For example, a few years ago I went to college and studied Early Childhood Education for a brief period. One of the teachers actually made the observation (ie.,she told me) that I always seemed more like a student than a teacher when I was working with my group of children. She never elaborated on that, but I know it was a general observation about me having a more submissive personality type.
But anyway, I digress lol! My point was, I do naturally lean toward being more submissive, but regardless of that, I still find it a bit of an adjustment to get used to the demands of a Dom/Domme.

So I am very happy to see that there are lots of other female subs out here who are willing to offer emotional support.
Thanks Bfly, and everyone, if I ever feel like I need to talk about sub-related issues again, I will make sure to get in touch with one of you.
Again, thanks, this is greatly appreciated. :)

[denuseri]

Borgs slave: i bet delia could help you in that department she has a lot of experience in that sort of thing i am sure

[butterflySlave4u]

:bump:

[butterflySlave4u]

:bump:

[skittles]

This is so wonderful. Being a newbie I am going to take advantage of all the help. So be prepared I will be PMing soon.

[butterflySlave4u]

:bump:

[Flaming_Redhead]

Hey, y'all! *smiles* I'm not incredibly experienced, having been in the lifestyle for only 2 years, but I'll volunteer my PM box. I'm a 32-year-old hetero female switch. I was in a D/s relationship for a year and have been in an M/s relationship for 2 months. I love to talk, so feel free to drop me a line!

[moco]

wonders how such a good idea got forgotten about...

[denuseri]

It hasnt been forgoten at all moco.

The Womb is just one of many examples of how mentorship is carried on here, not to mention all the individual efforts of others.

[summerBreeze{EDQ}]

Butterfly I really appreciate the offer of help being very new to this all round. I am also a 50 year old and am hoping to educate myself here. I have already been aproached by some interesting men of various ages here offering to "help" train me etc or ask me very personal questions which I dont feel able to or even want to discuss with strangers and so far I have stood my ground and said no. I dont have the highest self esteem which is my problem and Im working on it but Im wondering if older subs have more of an issue because of the way we were brought up perhaps as well.
Anyway I just want to thank you for starting this thread and thank all the lovely helpful women here like Denuseri and others Ive met in chatwho have been very patient and kind to me here.

[ditzyblondegirl]

Hi Ladies, I am 38 and recently a o/l friend has introduced me to BDSM. He has recently become my Dom.

What makes a good submissive??

Tonight he asked me how much I weigh.. and I said no. I weigh too much.. lol then he said are you telling me no? and I said oh fine.. then i told him how much I weigh. I think I made a mistake.. I should have takin my punishment. :) I'm a curvy girl that is insecure around white males... now black males drool all over me. what makes my insecurity even worse is my Dom. is really hot!! and I would do just about anything to please him.

[moco]

Hi Ladies, I am 38 and recently a o/l friend has introduced me to BDSM. He has recently become my Dom.

What makes a good submissive??

Tonight he asked me how much I weigh.. and I said no. I weigh too much.. lol then he said are you telling me no? and I said oh fine.. then i told him how much I weigh. I think I made a mistake.. I should have takin my punishment. :) I'm a curvy girl that is insecure around white males... now black males drool all over me. what makes my insecurity even worse is my Dom. is really hot!! and I would do just about anything to please him.

In my opinion a good submissive is one who finds that they want to please another with their service, their actions.

also just my opinion...there is no such thing as ..too old, too fat, not submissive enough...etc.

Ok so you arent a "runway model" not many people are...and if your dom cant see the beauty that you are ...then he misses out. There are plenty of people in the world who will love you for who you are ...and not your measurements. There is more to you then just how much you weigh or how big your breasts are. Please believe that.

[summerBreeze{EDQ}]

Ditzyblondegirl I am 50, I am fat although Ive lost 40 pounds,I have saggy bits and my tits are going south fast and I am short and no oil painting I assure you. Yet I have a Mr who is 37 and says he doesnt care because I have other qualities he loves and I am in his words a" natural sub". Not that I know much but I am willing to please. So its quite honestly horses for courses.

[summerBreeze{EDQ}]

ok things have moved on and im no longer with my master but have another who wishes to train me and he is old school. He has given me a list of tasks but i need to know where to find a subs list can you help me?
Also where can I find out more about old school? I barely understand the here and now.

[denuseri]

First off is this some online person calling themselves a dom or someone you know in real life manou?

[summerBreeze{EDQ}]

I sent you a pm as I cant say on here just yet.

[angelic.zest]

Hi Ladies, I am 38 and recently a o/l friend has introduced me to BDSM. He has recently become my Dom.

What makes a good submissive??

Tonight he asked me how much I weigh.. and I said no. I weigh too much.. lol then he said are you telling me no? and I said oh fine.. then i told him how much I weigh. I think I made a mistake.. I should have takin my punishment. :) I'm a curvy girl that is insecure around white males... now black males drool all over me. what makes my insecurity even worse is my Dom. is really hot!! and I would do just about anything to please him.
him

What makes a good submissive? One that's true to herself/himself and appericate herself and knows that she is worth having a good dominant/top/master to help her, guide her/him.etc...If you felt abit uncomfortable with your weight, theres nothing wrong with that I am a plus size girl myself and I enjoy myself and so do men. Not everyone has the same level of self esteem as me and I know this so i dont expect you to just go right out and say it. You can always tell them from the there that you are curvy, plus size, luscious, thick..whatever word you want to choose! I dont think you did wrong, maybe the manner in which you told him "no...and oh fine" Theres always ways to still show respect and say no. It can be done..

[raineyswench]

This is a great part to this site, I have recently allowed myself to be awakened and it has started to answer questions that i've been asking all my life!! but I still have so much more to learn...god I don't even know what all the questions are but if anyone wants to share their experiences with me especially on starting out....i would appreciate them. I have started a blog to share my experiences, my feelings..... felt like I needed to get them out of my head to make any sense out of them!! and better on here than some other hide away!!

First question.....should I share blog with Him??

[denuseri]

That would depend on exactly who and what "Him" is to me if I were in your shoes.

Is he someone you know and trust in real life for a number of years...or someone you only know from online for the past few weeks?

[raineyswench]

That would depend on exactly who and what "Him" is to me if I were in your shoes.

Is he someone you know and trust in real life for a number of years...or someone you only know from online for the past few weeks?

He is some one I have known in real life for a few years but only recently in the last 6 months got a little closer sharing thoughts and stories and discoveries

[denuseri]

Do you cohabitate?

Are you dating or married?

See weather or not to share some things with him can depend on a wide variety of factors...factors only you know where and who you stand upon them.

Myself...meh, I dont do blogs, though I will share my thoughts on a forums, and as for diaries and writting assignments...well its better imho to just talk to him directly, but thats me.

Ultimately your the one who must decide for yourself how much if anything to share, or not with another.

[wyldrose]

Volunteering my PM inbox, i'm always available to listen or have a chat with anybody about anything at all. i'm rose, 20, and i've been involved with the Lifestyle in some way shape or form for over 5 years now. i'm a 24/7 collared slave in real life, so i can try to answer any questions anybody has. i know it's hard for young newbies to have somebody to talk to, so here i am!