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Lonely Puppet
05-13-2008, 08:11 AM
(Author's notes: I already submitted this to the Library proper but as I haven't seen an update on it since April, I figured I'd post it here.

This is actually a 'warm-up' for my next project, which I'm planning to make a multi-parter)


The first thought I had was that I should have seen it coming.

I woke up chained to a chair, dressed in grey slacks and a shirt, what I can only assume is some kind of prisoner’s uniform. They took my watch, where I would have had a small pin that I could have used to pick the lock. But unfortunately, I had to rely on my own body to free myself. I was still trying to wriggle out of my chains when I heard a door opening behind me.

A large, muscular woman, obviously Ruskie stepped in front of me, looking me up and down. “So, you are American idiot caught sneaking into the Kremlin.” I knew it wasn’t a question, so denying it would have done no good. “Did you honestly think the KGB would have made it that easy to break inside?” I didn’t reply either, and she backhanded me. Any more force behind it and she would have broken my jaw. And I was willing to bet she held back for that reason.

“When I ask you question, you will answer. Understood?” I nodded. “Good. Now, what exactly did you find before we captured you?”

“Nothing” I replied. “Nothing at all.”

She punched me again, only this time, it was in the groin. “Again,” she asked. “What did you find?”

“Nothing!” I earned another punch in the groin, and it was much harder. I tried to free my hands to cover myself as I moaned in pain.

“What is wrong, American? Did I hurt you? Does your balls hurt?” She grabbed my hair and pulled my head, forcing me to look into her hazel eyes. “ANSWER ME.”

“Y-yes, they hurt....” I said, and she smiled as she punched me again in the balls. As I moaned she walked behind me and shut the door, then released my chains. I fell over, clutching my aching balls, tears welled up in my eyes.

“Honestly, American, I was hoping you wouldn’t answer me. It’s been too long for me since I got to interrogate someone who didn’t break immediately. It’s more interesting when they resist.” She grabbed the collar of my shirt and ripped it open, then pulled off the pants as well. She walked over to a corner near the door of the room, and I heard the sound of rummaging as I started to recompose myself. I charged after her and jumped on her back, trying to put my arms around her to choke her, but she simply turned away from whatever she was doing and threw me over her head like I was nothing, making me land on the cold floor. I got to my feet and took a swing at her but she caught my punch, forced my arm open, and with little effort broke my index finger.

I screamed in pain as I grabbed my broken finger, and she kneed me in the nose, and I rolled over on the ground, as I checked to confirm that she did indeed break it. “Pathetic. My grandmother is stronger than you.” She said as she went back to her rummaging. Soon I felt a stinging lash behind my back. Before I could even arch my back and cry out she whipped me again, and I made the mistake of rolling over to protect my back. She directed her whip this time to my exposed balls, and this promted me to roll back on my stomach clutching my sore balls as she continued to whip me. It was then that I shouted.

“Please stop! I’ll tell you! I found the location of a nucl...”

She continued whipping me, then stepped on the back of my neck.

“I dont want to hear you speak. I dont want your answers. It’s too late for that. You got me started, American, and now I’m horny. So we’re not going to stop no matter what you say.”

She walked over to the corner again, and did some more rummaging. I had recomposed myself and started to get to my feet as she promptly punted me again in my balls and I dropped on all fours. I felt her clamping something on my ankles. I tried struggling, but there was no give either pulling apart or pushing together. She walked around and I saw her attaching a device to my wrists. It looked like a shackle of some kind, but instead of a chain there was a steel bar. She sat on top of me as I tried to crawl away, but she clamped her legs around my waist. I felt something odd coming from where she sat on me. If I didn’t know better I would have said it was a cock. She reached to my nipples and put razor-sharp clams on both of them.

“Why are you...” before I could even finish, she squeezed my balls hard.

“I said I didn’t want to hear you speak, American.”

She got up from me and I heard her walking behind me, then shifting downwards. I tried crawling away but she grabbed a hold of my cock.

“Normally, nipple clamps with chains with them are attached to each other. Mine, however...” I heard the sound of chains jingling then I felt my nipples being pulled sideways as if she was trying to rip my chest open with them. I screamed in pain and tilted my head back, then I felt something invading my asshole. She actually had a cock?!

“Ah fuck... I thought you were a woman....” I said aloud. That earned me an even harder tug.

“I am a woman, American. This is what is called a ‘strap on cock’. She thrusted the cock deeper into my ass as I found myself moaning, and, much to my confusion, I felt my cock getting harder. “Ah, I see. American likes it in the ass. How does it feel American? To be raped by a Soviet woman?” I started to answer her but she pulled on my nipple clamps again, and I almost thought my nipples were going to be torn apart. “It’s humiliating, isn’t it? To be under the heel of your enemy, to have your body violated by a Communist? You deserve it, American. You and your whole country need to be fucked like the whores you are.” I felt my hole loosening up, and eventually I stopped struggling hoping she would stop pulling on the chains. I was, of course, mistaken. “To be honest, American, I think this is how it should be not just for our countries, but our sexes. Women are genetically superior to men. We are more intelligent, live longer, and we are capable of thinking without our hormones. Men are the cause of all war and strife. If women were to rule, world would be a much better and peaceful place.” Eventually, she thrust the cock... it must have been a foot long... all the way into my hole, and pulled on my hair. “Do you agree?”

I wanted to shake my head... but, for whatever reason, maybe I was afraid of what would happen... or maybe I was beginning to see the crazy bitch’s point... but I nodded. “Ah, another pathetic American man learning his place. Now I’m very, very horny....” She pulled the cock out of my ass, and after some rustling, she walked over me and showed me the strapon that she had fucked me with, with her not wearing it. “Open your mouth.” I complied, and she put the cock in my mouth and reached around, attaching the strapon to my head as she unlocked my bonds. I decided this was my last chance, and tried to once again overpower her. But she easily managed to shove me back down, so I was on my back. She took her pants off, showing me her dripping wet shaved cunt. “You do not deserve to taste my juices, American, so I guess I will have to fuck you the old fashioned way.” She mounted me, pinning my arms down as she forced my cock into her cunt, pressing her hips up and down, looking into my eyes, which had fresh tears. She bent over and licked the tears, then pushed herself back so she could look at me, with the strapon in my mouth like some kind of gag, riding me. She moaned in pleasure, and while I would have normally enjoyed getting laid like this, I was struggling in vain until I was finally too tired to fight back. Eventually I just decided there was nothing I could do but let her fuck me. She rode me harder and deeper, and let go of my left arm so she could grope her own breast. I couldn’t find the strength to try and even strike her, and soon she reached her orgasm. I found myself still aroused by this, and another minuite and I would be blowing my load. Soon she reached into her jacket and pulled out a pistol, pointing it to my face.

“I already knew what you found,” she said right before she pulled the trigger.

Venom
05-13-2008, 02:51 PM
Ehhh...well...a somewhat strange interrogation. Since it isn't my cup of tea, I don't say "good" or "bad". But I doubt that a raped man's first words are “Ah fuck... I thought you were a woman....”! :)

theladystouch
05-13-2008, 08:03 PM
Dear Puppet,

Since you posted it here, I am assuming you are looking for feedback on how to make the story better, rather than just a review. If that is not what you were looking for, read no further. :)

If you were looking for feedback on what works with the piece, and what might benefit from some tweaking, I'll give it a shot.

The opening line almost grabs me. Right idea, but it could use some more punch. Maybe shorten it to "I should have seen it coming."

It's an interesting piece and an interesting premise. For the most part, I thought the broken Russian was fairly well done. You set yourself a difficult task there, and I applaud the effort.

There are a couple of places, however, where it doesn't quite ring true. For example: the article "the" is usually omitted by Russians beginning to learn English, because (I believe) it doesn't exist in the Russian language. Thus, "So, you are American idiot caught sneaking into Kremlin" sounds more accurate than "...sneaking into the Kremlin."

I also found a few grammatical errors, mostly having to do with tenses, and such. Reading your story out loud usually helps you catch things like that.

I don't have a problem with the premise, but there needs to be more emotion--on both sides. You want to make the reader care enough to turn the page (use the scroll bar, etc.). The Russian interrogator does not seem to be really into her job, despite her words. You might try describing her responses to his reactions.

And, I can't imagine an American male getting casually tossed across a room by a woman and not having some feelings about it (other than pain). Astonishment, maybe?

As a certain writing instructor recently taught me, just cataloging what is happening in terms of torture is not as impactful as also describing the thoughts/feelings/reactions of the victim.

Just my personal opinion here, but I also think you short-changed the rape scene--in both directions. Is he horrified? Humiliated? Turned on against his will?

Does she use rape regularly as a(n) interrogation technique, or does she save it only for guys she is attracted to? Is she reveling in her power over him? Well, you get the idea.

All that said, I think this was a pretty ambitious story line. You have a good start, and some tweaking should make it quite a good read. Good luck!

Lady C