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Duetta
05-02-2004, 02:30 PM
Hope I've placed this thread the right place....

I've just come of the phone with a man, a Dom, I've been chatting with and talking on the phone with for some time. This time we more or less decided to meet next week. I'm all giddy with excitement, but at the same time really nervous, bordering on afraid. (Though in a good way ;) )

He seems like an experienced, thoughtful man, he's very concerned about my safety, well-being and that I feel good about, what's going to happen. About the meeting he wants me to give his address to a friend, arrange phone-calls etc. so I feel like he's one to trust...

I've been wanting to have my first experience with BDSM for a LONG time now, but I still don't want to rush into things, so I guess, what I'm asking here, is confirmation, that I'm doing the right thing, that I'm not running into something dangerous (which I hear about all the time, and that's certainly not a big help, when I'm a little nervous about it already).

Can I take more precautions than giving a friend his address, meeting in public, arrange to phone a friend after meeting him etc???
Just please reassure me, that what I'm about to do, is not all wrong... I want this SO much... I'm practically panting here :o

Hope this doesn't seem too confusing...

Duetta

redEva
05-02-2004, 03:44 PM
First off – congrats to you for finding someone you are comfortable with.

I would offer couple advices here :

Sounds like you never met this person in real life before – physically. It would be good to organize first meeting without planning a session. To actually be able to sit and talk to Him in public place (find some really quiet public place where you can be relaxed and talk uninterrupted – hotel bars / lounges are usually mostly empty and quiet)
When you do plan for a scene – set fixed time for the phone check-up like every 2 or 3 hours. Even if you are still in the scene – have him dial and just tell her “I’m fine, talk later.” Set with her the code that will tell her you are not OK without him knowing about it, like “Girl! I’m having a blast!” (that is really paranoid measure of precaution, but all will tell you better safe than sorry)

Than, relax and enjoy – and trust your gut! If it does not feel right – it most likely is not right!

drake7
05-02-2004, 04:47 PM
Your arrangements seem thorough and well thought out.

It speaks well of your friend that he seems to have suggested some of the precautions.

I hope the experience is a good and memorable one.

Drake.

BDSM_Tourguide
05-02-2004, 04:51 PM
The Guide to Online Relationships at the BDSM Library Dungeon (http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/dungeon/) provides a section on meeting safety. Maybe you'd like to pop on over there and see if you might not have thought of anything?

Duetta
05-04-2004, 01:53 AM
Just wanted to thank you for your suggestions, which I will consider carefully...
My intution says he's reliable, but no reason not to take every measure possible to feel safe.

Duetta