sex

[moonlitsub]

I was wondering how you stand doms as well as subs when it comes to weather or not you like sex, with bondage, and also if you prefer it over bondage or the other way around.

[jeanne]

There's something about being bound and used...





Where am I? What was I saying? :D

It all goes together for me. S/m without any sexual component leaves me cold...and vanilla sex just isn't as satisfying as sex with a red bottom...sex with my wrists bound...taking His cock in my mouth and down my throat while His hands are wrapped tightly in my hair...





Where am I? What was I saying?

[Daes]

I like my cream whipped. XD

If I could I'd have bondage with sex Every time. Yummy. And when I cant be tied, Im always picturing it in my head while we're doing it >.> Bondage/S&M + Mind blowing sex + forced orgasms = best sex ever

[~faerie~]

^ agreed *weg*

[denuseri]

i definity prefer sex with bondage, but for a quickie regular bend over and do it is fine too, lol

[slave-280-102-422{eV}]

Sex without some type of power play is like crossing the street at the corner instead of jaywalking. You know there's nothing really wrong with it, but it's just a little bit more exciting each time. Unless you live in Montréal.

[Logic1]

Sex without some type of power play is like crossing the street at the corner instead of jaywalking. You know there's nothing really wrong with it, but it's just a little bit more exciting each time. Unless you live in Montréal.

lol
that is just brilliant and I couldnt agree more :)

[fetishdj]

I can take it either way. I can have sex without BDSM but prefer it with and I can take my BDSM without sex but prefer it with.

One question to add to this thread: Do any of you find it more difficult to have sex without a BDSM element to it? In terms of actual difficulty in achieving orgasm? I say this because that is the psychological definition of a fetish - something which the person who has the fetish cannot achieve sexual gratification without. Which of course differs from the more mainstream definition.

[TomOfSweden]

Bondage is just one of those fetishes I don't get. But I indulge my slave occasionally. I'm a giver.

[fetishdj]

Bondage and sex is all about the restriction and the struggle, the feeling of helplessness. Its power exchange of a sort. In my case it also gives something to strain against and that (through some means I do not fully understand) makes it somehow better. Its the same feelings for me and gags. Sex while gagged is just so much better.

[tessa]

~pokes jeanne~ You're right here, sweetie. But if I poke you again, in just the right place, you might be over there again. Unless he gets to you first. Then I'll just watch him get you all lost. ;)


Bondage is just one of those fetishes I don't get. But I indulge my slave occasionally. I'm a giver.

That Tom- he's damned near perfect, I say.

Well, damned near something. :blurp_ani

Bondage with or without sex, or sex with or without bondage, is only as good as the mind behind it ('it' being sex and/or bondage).

Or on top. Or beside. Or underneath. But I digress. It's jeanne's "influence". Blame her. :D

Anyway, whatever the act, kink-related or no, without that passionate, intense, power-exchanging, twistedly perverted mindset at work, it's just...well, it's not that much- like whipped cream, but without the whipped (borrowing Daes' food thought there).

So, my answer to the question...

"(do) you like sex, with bondage, and also if you prefer it over bondage or the other way around?"

...is "yes, but no". Or "no, but yes". Or maybe even "yes and yes, but it will depend on certain qualifiers being part of the bondage mix."

I'm confusing myself now. But...I'm bound to figure it out soon enough. :rolleyes:

(That groaner was for you, Oz, oh Purveyor of Puns)

:wave:

[gagged_Louise]

Yes, bondage is really good and to me it has effect even without any overt sex involved - though of course sex makes it that much more hot and horny. Being bound, silenced, hooded (the last of those is one I still have to try in real life) drives in the fact of submission, the gift of yourself. Did I mention it looks and feels great? :)

[jeanne]

Bondage is just one of those fetishes I don't get. But I indulge my slave occasionally. I'm a giver.

All Doms are really givers at heart, I think. Selfless, self-sacrificing...

:D


~pokes jeanne~ You're right here, sweetie. But if I poke you again, in just the right place, you might be over there again. Unless he gets to you first. Then I'll just watch him get you all lost. ;)

He does quite a thorough job of getting me lost, wouldn't you say? :)

But you, sweetie, have done a fine job a time or two yourself. ;)





Or on top. Or beside. Or underneath. But I digress. It's jeanne's "influence". Blame her. :D

Moi??? Non!!!




So, my answer to the question... [/COLOR]

"(do) you like sex, with bondage, and also if you prefer it over bondage or the other way around?"

...is "yes, but no". Or "no, but yes". Or maybe even "yes and yes, but it will depend on certain qualifiers being part of the bondage mix."

I'm confusing myself now. But...I'm bound to figure it out soon enough. :rolleyes:

(That groaner was for you, Oz, oh Purveyor of Puns)

:wave:

Heeheeheeheehee! He'll love it...but you may pay for the "Purveyor of Puns" remark. Just a little warning, cause I love you! :blurp_ani

[tessa]

Heeheeheeheehee! He'll love it...but you may pay for the "Purveyor of Puns" remark. Just a little warning, cause I love you! :blurp_ani

Hey? Wanna play the part of the ATM?? :hubba:

Hopefully, any "payment" will be viciously and thoroughly extorted.

:bdsmsmile

[TomOfSweden]

All Doms are really givers at heart, I think. Selfless, self-sacrificing...

:D




ha ha ha ha.

[ashtonDs]

This question calls to mind a saying about sex I heard awile back, "Somes better than others but it's all good." Either way, I'll never turn it down.

[mandy77]

This question calls to mind a saying about sex I heard awile back, "Somes better than others but it's all good." Either way, I'll never turn it down.

Thats exactly right --depends on my mood --but the feeling of total submission when I'm bound and at the mercy of my partner is the best!

[newslave]

I can take it either way. I can have sex without BDSM but prefer it with and I can take my BDSM without sex but prefer it with.

One question to add to this thread: Do any of you find it more difficult to have sex without a BDSM element to it? In terms of actual difficulty in achieving orgasm? I say this because that is the psychological definition of a fetish - something which the person who has the fetish cannot achieve sexual gratification without. Which of course differs from the more mainstream definition.

I certainly agree with the common thread that sex is fine (boring, but fine) without the spices of BDSM...

To answer this second question, though...I'll say that I never had an orgasm until I began exploring BDSM (which isn't when I began having sexual adventures). I may add, though, that that isn't conclusive given the people that I was with and the situations in which....you get the idea.

But BDSM is one of those excellent things that really ups the ante in all sensations that I feel, hence my great joy with it + sex....

[rooshoe]

I can take it either way. I can have sex without BDSM but prefer it with and I can take my BDSM without sex but prefer it with.

Do any of you find it more difficult to have sex without a BDSM element to it? In terms of actual difficulty in achieving orgasm?

I can have sex without BDSM, but it's boring. It's like being hungry and eating a bag of chips and drinking a soda. Does it taste semi-decent? Yes. Does it fill me up? (no pun intended, i swear) Absolutely not.

I have a much more difficult time achieving orgasm if there isn't any power play or BDSM involved. It can be either physical or psychological, but it has to be there, otherwise there's nothing to push me over the peak.

Interestingly enough, my first orgasm (a looong time after I'd started having sex) was from my partner giving me oral sex, but it was a very submissive and vulnerable act for me. I felt embarrassed for anyone to see me naked and I was especially self conscious about my vagina/anal area. He really wanted to do it, but it was a struggle for me to say yes. Even from my first orgasm, my pleasure has been completely tied up in submission.

[kitara]

I find it not nearly as fulfilling to have sex without BDSM, but I can have BDSM without sex.
There's always a little bit of power hierarchy in our relationship, I always get him anything he wants, and it always only takes his one 'behave' look to get me to stop be cheeky or annoying :p

[pyxzie]

i can't seem to enjoy sex with out some kind of bdsm or role play. my Husband complains a lot how He want to make love not just have rough sex. Then when We do He says it's like i'm not there. i use to be fine with our vanilla relationship, yet the past few years BDSM has crept into my life and i don't feel the same without it.

[moonlitsub]

Such a nice wide range of answers, I was wondering as I have tried having sex many times and it hasn't been exciting to me, though I haven't been to lucky in experiencing real life bondage scene either.

[ineedneedles]

i can't seem to enjoy sex with out some kind of bdsm or role play. my Husband complains a lot how He want to make love not just have rough sex. Then when We do He says it's like i'm not there. i use to be fine with our vanilla relationship, yet the past few years BDSM has crept into my life and i don't feel the same without it.

I am lucky enough to have a hubby that understands that binding me, spanking me and fucking the hell out of me is making love. We haven't had vanilla sex since he collared me. God I love that man!

[Warbaby1943]

This is an interesting thread. For me sex without BDSM is my only option and I must say over the years it hasn't been bad at all. Actually my wife makes it very enjoyable. So what I'm saying is even though she has no interest in BDSM activities she is still great in bed.

I don't think I have ever had a bad piece of ass. Even the worst one was just wonderful.

[snowflake]

as a sub in a BDSM life style i feel sex is only to be with the one you are subbing under.. I love sex with bdsm but.. only with the person dear to me.. MY Master.. any other play is to be without sex.. and that i love to.. I love to serve and service without the worry of sex.. i truly believe that they are two separate issues.. and should only be combined when i am with the one i am intimate with..

i have been to many parties and believe me sex is a no no with the BDSM too me that is the best way..

I wouldn't want sex with anyone at a party even a private one .. and i don't like it in o/l at all..

Give me tasks and i am happy .. spank me tie me up and torture me .. i melt to .. but some person on the net tries to make it sexual and i walk away..

That is just me but i feel sex is personal and shouldn't be shared with all..

hugs
snow

[ineedneedles]

I agree with Snowflake. Even if the sex is BDSM in nature, it is only good if it is with someone you care deeply for. There are times my Master likes me to have sex with others for his enjoyment, and I would without question, but only if it makes him happy. My Master's happiness=my happiness.

[snowflake]

I agree with Snowflake. Even if the sex is BDSM in nature, it is only good if it is with someone you care deeply for. There are times my Master likes me to have sex with others for his enjoyment, and I would without question, but only if it makes him happy. My Master's happiness=my happiness.

i agree with that too hun.. If it were my Masters wishes then i would do it.. but only to please My Master..

My Master loves to drive the car and play with me as others watch.. not something i truly like but it makes him happy so i do it and give my best show just to please him

hugs
snow

[DowntownAmber]

To be cliched, variety is the spice of life. I enjoy sex with the BDSM element, I enjoy it without. I couldn't have an exclusively BDSM based sexual relationship, however, as sometimes I enjoy slow and sensual in the manner that some would call vanilla. In my head I know it's still with the man I call Master, but physically there are no crops or canes and no restraints. On the flipside of that same coin, just slow and sensual would leave me rather bored after awhile - bring on the cuffs and collar!

As for bondage without sex? I do adore it, whether it's a subtley concealed collar in public or my new favorite fantasy, a karada harness under the clothes or around the house. That feeling of being hed and owned, while erotic, need not always end in sex.

[rooshoe]

I've found that as time goes on, it gets more and more difficult for me to enjoy sex without some aspect of BDSM. If i'm with someone who is 100% vanilla, i try to enjoy it for what it is, but it's not what i prefer. And i can't orgasm without including some BDSM. If i'm masturbating, my fantasies are all about submission and pain. But i can enjoy a scene without sex; granted, i usually end up dripping, but i still enjoy it without sexual contact.

[rooshoe]

I've found that as time goes on, it gets more and more difficult for me to enjoy sex without some aspect of BDSM. If i'm with someone who is 100% vanilla, i try to enjoy it for what it is, but it's not what i prefer. And i can't orgasm without including some BDSM. If i'm masturbating, my fantasies are all about submission and pain. But i can enjoy a scene without sex; granted, i usually end up dripping, but i still enjoy it without sexual contact.

[moonlitsub]

Thanks rooshoe I too find that all of my fantasies have me being submissive in one way or another, I don't know if it was ever not like this even when it is something where I was looking at rough sex scenes where the women is the one taking it all i realized it is that I imagine myself as the women in those situations. I guess everyone is the unique little snow flakes they are when it comes to there preferences.

[ghanima{DM690}]

I can take it either way. I can have sex without BDSM but prefer it with and I can take my BDSM without sex but prefer it with.

One question to add to this thread: Do any of you find it more difficult to have sex without a BDSM element to it? In terms of actual difficulty in achieving orgasm? I say this because that is the psychological definition of a fetish - something which the person who has the fetish cannot achieve sexual gratification without. Which of course differs from the more mainstream definition.

I have found I can only orgasm during bondage and force. vanilla just wasnt me but its something i can to over time...it wasnt like a light switch allthough i wish it was..would have saved me years of vanilla ex's and there judgment

[desdemona]

I don't really enjoy vanilla sex. I have to make it more exciting in my head. I can take bondage without the sex, and I love them both together, but sex without bondage or force or SOME element of bdsm just doesn't do it for me...


One question to add to this thread: Do any of you find it more difficult to have sex without a BDSM element to it? In terms of actual difficulty in achieving orgasm? I say this because that is the psychological definition of a fetish - something which the person who has the fetish cannot achieve sexual gratification without. Which of course differs from the more mainstream definition.


That's an interesting question...and yes, the mainstream definition is very different, isn't it? Does that mean that many people who consider themselves to have fetishes don't actually have them?