Body Size & Shape [Archive]

TomOfSweden

06-29-2008, 01:09 AM

What I did was research different diets and then talked to my doc about which one is better and we came to the conclusion that the South Beach diet was the best one for me. You can research it if you would like. I have cut out all pop and most sweets and I have been losing the weight. I check in with my doc once a month but if things start going bad I won't hesistate to call my doc. Plus from the nice sunburn I have now I have been doing a lot of swimming which is exercise so its not all bad.

I hate to be a Mr complainy. But I don't think Claire was asking for diet tips. The fact that you assume all fat people do... well... just adds to the prejudice both you and Claire was expressing.

I think this subject is very interesting so I'd hate it turning into a diet tips session. But if that's what you want Claire, I'll apologise and go and sit down again.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

It's not a question of repelled. I just don't notice fat women. I can scan a room and my mind just erases them. But, no I can't say its anything that attracts me. And there's fat and fat. I don't fall for skinny women either. My mind erases them to. I used to be attracted to them when I was a kid. But as I got older my tastes got heavier and heavier. But I still wouldn't call my wife today over-weight/fat. Not even nearly. She's my ideal. I also don't notice young chicks, (16-19) any more. Which I think is interesting, because I used to think they were the hottest chicks. I still think they're pretty, but they've fallen completely off my sexual interest radar. I'm more, "get your feet off the seat!" when I'm on the subway. The parenty vibe.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

Thin is relative. I like athletic bodies. Just thin means there's no muscles. I think muscles are important.

What body type attracts you most?
It's a question of proportion. A girl with big breasts can get away with some fat on her belly. While a woman not as blessed with them can't.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
In my early teens I used to think I was ugly and nobody could be attracted to me for my looks. So I thought I'd have to compensate with a great personality and getting a reputation for being dangerous, (ha ha snicker... embarrassing memories). When I was 18 I was stopped in the street by a modelling scout and I ended up modelling for underwear. Yes, my own body image effected my love/sex life a lot. But my own body image was insane. I could see an ugliness nobody else could. My soul was in a lot of pain which made me think the outside was as ugly as on the inside. My modelling stint was a rude awakening which solved all my body issues in one quick stroke. And after that I became totally full of myself thinking I was gods gift to women. And I'm sure I had much higher views of my own looks than what was actually true.

The moral of the story was that you might as well think you're gorgeous. It's not as if its anything that can be measured. And Claire, the fact that you're boyfriends into you just proves I'm right. You've got a body image that makes you think you look worse than reality. The fact that you're boyfriend is as into you as he is proves it. All men might not share the view, but who cares? It's not the rest of the world you're trying to impress. Just your own love at home.

claire

06-29-2008, 02:07 AM

Thanks all for your replies. Tom is right I'm not looking for diet tips, but I do appreciate the honest answers.

I just don't notice fat women
Interesting, so, that feeling I get sometimes of being invisible is real. I always thought it was kind of weird - how could someone my size be invisible.... But thinking about it some more, it makes sense. We all have certain types of people that either catch our attention or go un-noticed.

ChainsOfGonzo

06-29-2008, 03:19 AM

I'll answer the first two together. I am attracted by health. I am not particularly attracted by either the thin or the fat. I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm repelled - in either case I look at the person more than their body. But to me, I feel it is best if someone is a healthy weight.

I am attracted to all body types if they appear normal and health. Short, tall, slender build, stalky builds, etc...

My body image is generally good, but at the moment I am having anxiety problems which are causing me to lose weight. At the moment, I actually wish I could put on a couple pounds to soften me a bit. My collarbones and hips are showing more than I like. But I am struggling to eat and keep food down at the moment, so I'm taking it a day at a time.

TomOfSweden

06-29-2008, 03:22 AM

Interesting, so, that feeling I get sometimes of being invisible is real. I always thought it was kind of weird - how could someone my size be invisible.... But thinking about it some more, it makes sense. We all have certain types of people that either catch our attention or go un-noticed.

I think the word "attraction" is the key. Being attracted to someone means they catch our eye. The other ones don't. So they're invisible.

We all think that everybody sees us and has an opinion. It's totally natural. Our minds are confined to our own bodies, and we create the entire universe inside our heads revolving around our own bodies. But so does everybody else. We are the most important person to ourselves. But only to us, no matter how much we'd wish they would care about us as much as we do.

Isn't that pretty much what growing up is about? Young kids are always upset about other people not understanding their specific problems, while they at the same time deny that other people might have different priorities that are relevant. Having a pimple on the nose for a young kid really can destroy their world.

Anyway. I think the trick isn't to be perfect to everyone, but to find a person to whom you're perfect to. Sure, having "ideal weight" might make that easier... but you don't want somebody to fall in love with your image, but to fall in love with you. And to those who thinks I'm saying, it's really the inside that counts... well I'm really not. I think the outside is just as important.

WyldWyl

06-29-2008, 05:42 AM

I'm attracted very much to larger ladies and gentlemen. Skinny people have always weirded me out a little. I think, at least with women (men I'm more flexible on, but even then no one too scrawny) that they would need to be at least 'curvy' in my mind to attract my attention. It's a little misleading from me, though, as bodies aren't so much a factor in the attraction for me.

Has my own size/body image had an affect? Sure. I'm a big guy- tall, broad, thick and chubby. To give you an inkling, I'm 20, 189cm and 125-odd kilos. My romantic and sexual life were held back by that- at school, especially, my size made me a target and I felt uncomfortable in my own body, which held back my development in this area. Since having grown into my body over the last year or so, and become more active in my romantic and sexual life, it's become less and less of a handicap. Confidence is key, I think.

Lady Hecate

06-29-2008, 08:29 AM

Claire:

I don't wish to say what my body proportions are, but that said, I am also not 100% happy with my body either, and I often do feel a little fat. Its probably an extremely common thing that most women feel.
I have wished for a long time that my abdominal area could be totally flat, but somehow I think that is probably never going to happen. I'm pretty sure I have a body type that naturally resists that. So, in a way, I can empathize with you.
Especially since some men actually do call me "fat" as well.

As for your questions:

Are you attracted to or repelled by a fat person? - I am not usually completely repelled by fat people. I had two ex girlfriends who were fat, and truthfully, I have always found them both extremely beautiful. That said, I think I also have to agree that I usually am not attracted to fat men.

Are you attracted to or repelled by thin people? - I am almost never attracted
to thin people. Almost any time I see people who are thin, my first thought is almost always, "he/she needs to eat more, seriously."
And I can never personally relate to the thing of "just forgetting to eat." I actually met one really thin guy once who told me the reason he was so small was because he simply got so busy doing other things he wouldn't remember to eat. Seriously, if I "forget" one meal I feel like I want to tear someone's head off.

What body type attracts you the most? - Truthfully, what I usually like the most is people who are muscular.

How have my own body issues affected my love life/sex life? - I have had men make disparaging comments about my body size/shape while I am naked in bed with them. There were at least a couple of guys who took one look at my naked body and said, "wow, you need more muscle tone."
And there was one particular ex who saw me naked, and just flat out told me that I am "huge." (Which I don't agree with, BTW, but whatever.)

Hime

06-29-2008, 09:34 AM

claire,

My girl is a BBW. I wouldn't have called myself a chubby chaser or BBW fetishist before I met her, although I've always liked curves, but when I got to know her I came to see her size as a big turn-on. There's something really exciting about dominating a woman who's more than twice my size, and I love that I can just sink my fingertips (or teeth, hehe) into just about any part of her. With her white skin and long, curly red hair, she looks like a woman in a pre-Raphaelite painting. Usually one of the ones where the women are being ravished. :D

Sometimes people are surprised that I'm attracted to plus-sized women because I'm on the athletic side myself (I wear a size 4 or 6 and am a bit of a gym rat). I think there's a really pervasive attitude, at least in Western culture, that being fat or thin says something major about who you are as a person, and that if you're thin it must be because you work really hard to be that way, or if you're fat it's because you just sit around on the couch all day and don't care about your health. I really don't believe in that -- I don't think that body type has anything to do with who you are or what your priorities are. I know that I don't work to be thin; I eat more than most heavy people I know. :D So it would be pretty lame for me to judge someone based on their weight. In fact, I think it's pretty lame for anyone to judge someone without knowing the first thing about them, which is how lots of people treat heavy folks all the time.

It sounds like you're lucky to have found someone who wants to make you feel better about yourself, but in my experience confidence really has to come from within. Seeing a therapist helped me when I was having some body-image problems, so it might help you, too. And if you do decide to lose weight, of course that's your choice, but please resist the pressure to do anything extreme or unhealthy. Starving your body can cause long-term damage; I know people who've had serious health problems caused by extreme diets. Remember that you are a person who is loved and valued, not some source of shame or "concern" that has to be "cured."

I hope that my response helps. :)

~Hime

Hime

06-29-2008, 09:36 AM

How have my own body issues affected my love life/sex life? - I have had men make disparaging comments about my body size/shape while I am naked in bed with them. There were at least a couple of guys who took one look at my naked body and said, "wow, you need more muscle tone."
And there was one particular ex who saw me naked, and just flat out told me that I am "huge." (Which I don't agree with, BTW, but whatever.)

Let me be the first person to offer to beat these guys up for you. I don't care if they're doms, subs, whatever: when you've got a woman naked in bed with you you'd better be grateful. :p

Logic1

06-30-2008, 09:57 AM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Well there is a difference between fat and chubby. I do like a woman with a little fat on her bones. Hips, waist and brests sure is part of the essence of femininity for me so.. No I am not attracted to fat women but some extra weight can be a good bonus for sure.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

What is thin? Like skinny like model thin? No that isnt exactly my cup of tea but I can appreciate beauty when I see it even if she happens to be skinny.

What body type attracts you most?

Medium I guess. Women who look like women and not boys. Not too big and not too thin either.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

No I cant say it has. I got a medium/thin body and I wish I could add some more muscle but no it doesnt really affect anything for me really.
:wave:

funtime37

06-30-2008, 11:35 AM

i feel that i must put my 2 cents in.
the bottom line for me is yes i am very attracted to bbw's i find them sexy to the point i have been married to two women that tip the scales at 300 pounds plus. but i for sure do not get hung up on a number. the thing is i find that women that are not a size 2 seem to me to be more real and more easy going. most to the "size 2" crowd come across as being uppy to me so do i look a a thin girl and get turned off no but, thin as a rail girls do nothing for me. as to my size affecting my sex life no it does not but personality seems to have more of an effect.

deigja

06-30-2008, 11:47 AM

Hi Claire

The question is not always the weight. There are heavily overweight people that still seem attractive to me, because they have charism. If people seem to be confident, seem to feel comfortable with themselves, this is part of the deal. Although this is nothing sexual for me, (I usually head for the average guy, not skinny but not fat also), it makes me see some people while, as Tom, seem to erase others which are much thinner/ better in shape.
An open smile and an air of confidence make me notice people, whatever their weight may be.

Concerning my own Body issues and sex.. I never saw myself really negative... I always felt pretty comfortable in my own skin, but always considered myself average. Still I had some people bullying me at school, telling me I was ugly, so I fought a lot with myself in that time, wether I saw myself wrongly or wether these were just idiots that wanted to hurt me. It cost me dearly to find back to my selfconfidence. And some really really good friends helped me to keep my wits in this time.
My first Master was the one who reassured me, when I was almost desperate. Since then it got better and better and I realized that, as Tom told you as well, You don´t need to be perfect, you just have to find one person to which you are perfect.

Deigja

deigja

06-30-2008, 11:47 AM

MissElizabeth87

06-30-2008, 02:32 PM

Hi Claire. I very much understand where you're coming from. I'm not plus size, but because I'm a very very short woman, being a little bit overweight means that I look quite umm... stocky.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
-For me... it kind of depends on gender. The few women who attract me, well most of them are heavier. I just think that on a woman, a curvier figure looks better. Big hips and butt, breasts, and a rounder tummy just look... RIGHT on a woman. But as for guys, I actually tend to be into skinnier guys. Wellbehaved, my guy, is pretty skinny for his height, and I think it's super attractive.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
-I kind of answered this in the last one. If they're male, yes. But, I don't mean this in a "so thin you'd think they don't eat" sort of thin. Just... "slender".

What body type attracts you most?
-a healthy one? I like curvy women, and that does NOT automatically make someone unhealthy. I like thinner men, but again, that does not automatically make him anorexic or something (You should see how much my guy eats. He always says he's a fat man in a thin man's body).

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
-well, in the beginning, they very much did. I was afraid to even let Wellbehaved take off my shirt (he's my first...). I was very worried about how he would find my body attractive. Now, it really only affects the fact that I don't like to wear the latex/pvc/leather clothing that I've seen in all those online pictures of Dommes and I know my guy really likes... I just know I'm not gonna look NEARLY as good as the women in the pictures, regardless of how Wellbehaved says I will look amazing.

eVile

06-30-2008, 03:43 PM

I'm a visual person, so I've attached two photos to demonstrate the range of my tastes. As you can see, I like em skinny. But, I'm also down with some chub.

The most important criteria is not weight per se, but facial prettiness and whether she's got an ass or not. I enjoy small, pert model's asses and big phat booties. What I don't like are flat or concave butts. These occur on slim and big girls alike. Breast size doesn't matter to me. Also, the fact that the chubby girl is tied up makes her much more attractive.

WyldWyl

06-30-2008, 06:26 PM

...and I love that I can just sink my fingertips (or teeth, hehe) into just about any part of her.
~Hime

Amen to that!

cadence

06-30-2008, 06:32 PM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

I'll answer both questions at the same time. I do look at body types to a degree, but I cannot say whether or not I am attracted or repelled by a thin or larger person. A person with an ugly attititude will definately repulse me. People who clearly do not take care of themselves because they don't care repulse me as well.

What body type attracts you most?

I am not attracted to obesity, thin bodies are fine, as are larger people as well. I do not like muscular bodies at at all, a little bit of muscle tone is nice, but not a lot.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

I have always had some meat on my bones, I have curves, but I have gained a bit of weight in the last few months. Anxiety caused me to become immobile for four months, and I never left the house. I am slowly starting to be more active and shed some pounds. I am still comfortable with my body, but uncomfortable with it at the same time as it is my fault for getting out of shape. To me it is not whether you are fat or thin, or who is attracted by it.
In the end it is your being able to be comfortable with your own body and if you are not, learning to be comfortable or if you can changing it so you are more comfortable.
As for sex, my boyfriend is a bit pissed I have gained the wieght, and we don't have sex anymore. That doesn't bother me though.

Chuckdom19

06-30-2008, 07:31 PM

I do my best not to let the person's body do the talking... the mind is what you fuck, what attracts you, what keeps you together.

There are many, many people who are good and sexy and loving who are not "the ideals", through no fault of their own sometimes. I refuse to let ANY outside feature stop my interests.

claire

06-30-2008, 07:32 PM

Thanks everyone for sharing. :) I have been feeling rather needy and insecure lately and very jealous of those of you with R/L partners. :o I guess what I'm getting out of this is what I've known all along. What people find attractive is a personal thing. The media doesn't seem to have biased people as much as I expected. I know some thin people suffer as much prejudice and harassment for their size as do heavy people. I was also wondering if the guys feel pressure to bulk up, as the media often portrays muscle bound hunks as the male ideal.

DowntownAmber

06-30-2008, 07:39 PM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

I'm answering these two together because I have the same answer for both: neither attracted nor repelled based simply on that criteria. I am attracted toward people that look like they take some time caring about their appearance, that are confident about themselves and have some pride in who there are. Folks like that come in all shapes and sizes. I do have a purely physical attraction toward men with muscular arms, broad shoulders and (oddly enough, perhaps) nice hands. Don't know where that last little asthetic quirk came from, but there you go. *shrugs*

What body type attracts you most?

Hmmm, guess I kinda' answered this one up above as well. I'm an over-achiever that way.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

I wouldn't say my issues have affected my love/sex life in any way, but I still do look in the mirror and wonder if my breats would look better larger or if I could stand a little more curve here and there. I doubt anyone is completely happy with who they are physically.

One thing that does bother me occasionally, however (and there's even a little of it going on in this thread), is the fact that very few people are even remotely sensitive to the weight related comments they make towards "skinny" people. Both my mother and I have extremely hyperactive metabolisms to the point where if we don't eat four or five times a day we feel sick or, at the very least, light headed. I cannot tell you how many times we have been called anorexic, bulemeic, accused of being drug users or have been told we "need to eat more." If, in response to that, we actually say it's a metabolic issue the response we often get is a very snide, "must be nice!" I have had complete strangers walk up and tell me I "make them sick" or tell me that skinny people "freak them out." What the Hell?

Okay, rant over now, please feel free to remove your seatbelts and move about the thread. :D

a1984944_isback

06-30-2008, 08:14 PM

Hi Claire,
You wrote " This is one of my biggest hang ups and a source of deep shame for me. I have a hard time believing a man could find me desirable. My Master continually astounds me as he loves large women. "

BELIEVE IT!! You are beautiful! He doesn't just love large women, he loves you and is w/ you! Feel no shame! You are who you are and have someone who loves who you are! :)

My wife is heavy and says these crazy things! I LOVE HER FOR HER! I LOVE BEING W/ HER!!

So...to answer your question, finally, I prefer a thick girl but appreciate all sizes.
I love the feel of a thick thigh and a plump rump - great to spank!

Take care and keep your head up - you are desired!

sisterhoney61 {RW}

06-30-2008, 09:50 PM

Claire, I am a BBW and have been a plus size since high school. I've always felt unattractive to men and in school would walk with my shoulders hunched and my head down, staring at the ground. I did my best to blend in with the woodwork and remain invisible to people. As a result, my self-esteem was nil and I remained a virgin and dateless until I was 25. My best friend and her boyfriend at the time hooked me up with a guy the boyfriend worked with. He became the first man who really noticed me. I thought that I would never find another man to pay any attention to me and I jumped at the chance to be with him (desperation is not a good reason to be with someone). As a result, I entered a marriage that was abusive and I spent more of my married years alone than I did with him.

I met Master two years after my divorce. W/we met online and got involved in a relationship there without Him knowing what I looked like. When I explained to Him that I was a BBW, He said that was fine with Him, because He liked big girls. And after I sent Him my picture He said that He was looking forward to being with me in person. W/we have now been together IRL almost nine years. But even though Master tells me He loves me and accepts me the way I am and loves the fact that I am a BBW, I still have my "fat days." I still have my days when I look in the mirror and all I see is a beached whale and a fat cow. However, those days are getting fewer and farther between than they used to be. I can hold my head up when I'm with Him. I can walk around naked with Him.

Master keeps saying that one day I will believe Him when He tells me that I'm beautiful and sexy. He also adds that I may be on my deathbed, but I'll believe Him. I know how hard it is to finally get it through your head that you are beautiful just the way you are at this very moment. You are beautiful and sexy and loved. Right now.

TomOfSweden

06-30-2008, 10:44 PM

Now, it really only affects the fact that I don't like to wear the latex/pvc/leather clothing that I've seen in all those online pictures of Dommes and I know my guy really likes... I just know I'm not gonna look NEARLY as good as the women in the pictures, regardless of how Wellbehaved says I will look amazing.

I think you've missed the point with latex completely. Or I should say rubber. Rubber is the thick material while latex is the thin, (below 0.3 mm and the cheap stuff). But people usually refer to both as latex. Its so strong that it pushes in your fat until it looks good.

A person with a firm body will always look, (and feel ;) ) better than a "wobbly" person. And its kind of hard to avoid wobbliness with age. The high shine and pro make-up adds to the illusion. Keep in mind that you haven't seen any before-and-after pics of those on-line beauties, have you? And it smells nice:exellent1

Latex also breaks easily, and is mostly often just wasted money. The rubber that amusingly "explodes" on the dance floor is always latex.

Leather's not my thing, so I can't really say. It feels more like clothes to hide behind than wear.... but maybe I just don't get it. Its probably a smell thing. And PVC is evil. I've yet to see anybody look better after wearing PVC than before.

Looking good isn't only a question of how your body looks, its mostly how you package it. It doesn't matter how good you look, if you've for example got bad hair... nobody cares. And to keep to the hair example, its not like one can't do anything about it. No hair is better than bad hair. There's always tweaks.

fetishdj

07-01-2008, 12:10 AM

fetishdj

07-01-2008, 12:10 AM

TomOfSweden

07-01-2008, 01:14 AM

One thing I have noticed in my time is that the majority of women are not happy with thier body. Media images of women are getting more and more unrealistic and many now feel that they are 'not ideal' - even those who are close to that artificial ideal. Whether it is weight or breast size or hip/waist shape most women have something they hate and none of them take 'no, really, you are beautifully sexy' as an answer to the question 'does my bum look big in this?'

This is a shame as body shape is something that is partly genetic. Ok, you can make yourself horribly obese by eating badly and not exercising and that is correctable with discipline but if you are 'a little chunky round the middle' then you may well be that shape because of genes.

I think you're touching on a very deep issue. The problem is basically that we're still just a breed of monkey. We want to be prettier/better than all the others. When we didn't have tools to fix ourselves, we had to accept ourselves. I'm not saying this was better, but just a fact of life.

So what's the problem with media? Well, now when we have the tools to fix ourselves and make ourselves pretty, we compare ourselves with those who look great in pictures. This is a source of pressure and guilt.

But its not a fair comparison because we all know that the pictures in media, (and I'm referring to all media, included your uploaded pictures here) is your best angle on a good day. But we're stupid monkeys. We can't handle this subconsciously.

*edit*
...and grainy pictures. We fill in gaps. Things we can't see accurately, we upgrade.
*end of edit*

I don't think the big media corporations are evil or creating unattainable ideals. We're just as guilty. I think models being radically photoshoped to a point where they barely look human is only positive because then its easier to see it for the fantasy it is. And have fun with it rather than being the source of guilt.

It's the anxiety and guilt that is bad, not the attempts to make yourself pretty. In the BDSM scene we have no taboos when it comes to making ourselves pretty. We can all of us take what we have and flaunt it. You know that if you're smart somebody will worship your body. If you don't like the way your face is.... put on a latex mask, and flash your tits.

I think the biggest danger here is to pretend like any ideal today isn't artificial. They all are. And they're all designed to be hard to attain, because that's what our monkey brains select for. You just want an ideal where you're the one that looks good. Pick that. There's always a style for you and your body type. If you've got an ideal that isn't right for you, then you've got a problem with reality. But this is a common issue women have, so I'm not going to play it down.

Once I went into a skateboard shop here in Stockholm and tried on some jeans. They where all designed for short and squat people. They looked great on the guys in the shop. But I looked like a clown in them.

We have certain genetic cues we look for when we're checking somebody out. People who have them are attractive. We don't care if we're being fooled or not. We are only looking for the cues. If we can see them... fake or not. We get horny. Pretending like we don't care about looks is not helpful.

This is the brain we've got and we can either accept it and work with it, or be unhappy and think nobody will love us for our bodies because we hate them.

fetishdj

07-01-2008, 01:43 AM

I think part of the problem is that computer 'airbrushing' is a lot cheaper and more realisitic that the old fashioned equivilent (when they literally airbrushed the photo). It is harder to spot as having been done unless you are good at looking for the signs and most of us don't bother to analyse every photo we see.

BTW, my avatar has not been airbrushed. Not even to remove the embarressing part which is visible if you look closely :) It is a good photo of me, though. In that position I have the illusion of musculature when really I am not as well toned as all that :)

I remember reading an interesting idea about evolution involving the natural development of most species being a divergence into 'robust' and 'gracile' forms which then develop into seperate species. It happened to elephants and to apes and it could now be happening to us (again, since we were the gracile form of the apes we descended from). The general pattern seems to be that the gracile form is more aggressive while the robust form is more passive and often vegetarian.

caligirl{Rob}

07-01-2008, 11:18 AM

I get very self-conscious of my body/appearance and would just as well "hide" behind something that pushes and pulls all the parts that need to be put back into place, however Sarge still prefers me bare, and enjoys working our sessions in front of a mirror with my eyes watching His work. I am slowly learning to relinquish my "horror" to His pride...it is a long road even for some in fine shape to see ourselves in a positive light.
cali

tessa

07-01-2008, 01:10 PM

I hate to be a Mr complainy.
That was a fun smile. :)

Several years ago now, I watched an interview with Cindy Crawford (supermodel in the 90's). In the interview, she mentioned that some designers called her a "cow" because of her size and how her pictures had been nipped/tucked and airbrushed to make them look better. I thought to myself, "well, hell, if Cindy Crawford is a "cow" that needs air-brushing, what am I trying so damned hard for??"

I think we all have body image issues at points of times in out lives. We're egocentric creatures with fragile egocentricities, so it's inevitable that even if you have an "I make this look good" attitude, one day sooner or later you'll look in the mirror and think, "ugh, no I don't", no matter your body shape.

Attraction involves so many complex facets that limiting it to one component hinders the mindfulness of it all, but since the question was asked, I'll be a participant in the answering.

As for what attracts or doesn't (on a strictly physical level, I must add), I'm attracted to a shape that is well-proportioned- big or small, if the overall package is balanced out, I'm looking. Now balanced out or otherwise, I am not attracted to the great extremes of skinny or obese. That probably has more to do with what I see as planned unhealthiness than it has to do with attractiveness, though.

TomOfSweden

07-01-2008, 01:32 PM

As for what attracts or doesn't (on a strictly physical level, I must add), I'm attracted to a shape that is well-proportioned- big or small, if the overall package is balanced out, I'm looking. Now balanced out or otherwise, I am not attracted to the great extremes of skinny or obese. That probably has more to do with what I see as planned unhealthiness than it has to do with attractiveness, though.[/COLOR]

"Planned unhealthiness" I thought was funny.

ashtonDs

07-01-2008, 03:41 PM

I find that since I've become more active in the forums that my tastes have changed. Although I never did like the skin and bones look, I find more and more that I am less interested in figures and more interested in the personality and especially the level of submissiveness or dominance.

Kate Moss was never high on my list of beauties. Never could find attraction in a woman who was so thin that when I hugged her I could tough my own shoulders (kinda like trying to hug her but ending up hugging myself).

As far as invisibility goes, I think we see what we key in on and ignore the rest, though I suppose there are some who key in on whatever is vertical.

Virulent

07-02-2008, 08:07 PM

I don't care much about physical appearance.

What attracts me to a woman is more things like... how far she'll go to please me, a lack of limits, and to some degree naivete. Its been a long time since 'vanilla' sex could make me cum without a tremendous amount of concentration. I generally just find it unappealing.

To some degree, when I fuck a woman, its less the sensation of her holes or shape of her body that brings me to orgasm... and more the state of her mind. I don't know if that's clear; if anyone else understands what I mean.

livy

07-02-2008, 08:21 PM

I dont think it should be based on what a person looks like, it should be how they act and treat you. you could be so hot but so ugly, sure i dont want some one super skiny or very over weight, but it should be about respect.

Coventina

07-03-2008, 10:24 AM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person? I myself could lose some weight and I am working on it, but one of my girls would be considered a plus size girl and I find her down right beautiful and sexy. All of the women on my mother's side of the family are/were larger women, so it's what I grew up around. So yes I am attracted to overweight people.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
I like curves and something to grab on to, I am turned off by someone that is "thin", muscles are sexy, skin and bones is not sexy too me at all.

What body type attracts you most?
Healthy attracts me the most, someone fit, someone that exercises and has some muscles definition. I have been with all sorts of body types, and it also depends on the situation what attracts me the most.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life? That is a good question....I have always been super outgoing and never really let any doubts about my body hold me back from going after what I want.

submissive_1

07-06-2008, 08:06 PM

I too understand where you are coming from... I am a plus size myself.

Here is what my husdand told me..

"I don't want a really thin person. Thats nasty. But I don't want to be with someone who is really large either."

I have spoken with him a lot on what a large person is. To him, it is some one who parks close to a store, so that they don't have to walk. Or someone who can't walk. Or gets out of breath walking a short distance. To him, HEALTH is attractive. He says he loves me, but wants me to lose weight, not becuase he feels I am fat, he loves my size, but he wants me to be healthy. For our future children, and for myself.

He also said though that regardless of size, confidence is key. He gets so mad at me for putting myself down. He says that if I am confident, and happy with myself, that you are beautiful at any size.

Now rereading this, I got annoyed with myself with all of the he said stuff, but its true!

I have seen so many times where a large women has a hotter guy, or goes on more dates, or just radiates with happiness! And that is confidence my friend. And confidence, and being happy with you, is key.

I am still overweight, but I am happy with myself. I love me! And when I keep that in mind, I get so much more attention from men and my husband.

Snark

07-06-2008, 09:32 PM

Claire:

I've been very heavy and I've been fairly thin. I've fought the weight battle my entire life. Right now I'm heavier than I want.. but have some health issues that have to be dealt with to get back to where I want to be.
I feel better if I'm a "normal" weight. Yes, there is a bias against heavy people. Peronally, I recall (transfer myself into) my own history when I see someone who is heavy. High school was hell. Since you have someone who loves you as you are...WONDERFUL!!!

I am attracted to someone who is proportional. They can be heavy or not, but proportion is a key. My wife is now heavy. She also has BC. After all the shit is over, then we can start to change our lives. Has body size affected my/our love/sex life? Yes. But we manage. Not as well as I would like...but we manage.

My daughter is a BBW. But she has both the confidence and personality to be both sexy and gorgeous. (yeah, I'm her father. No, I don't have pedo tendancies. )

But a more important issue is your health. You can be large and still be healthy....or not. If you are having health issues...hypertension, type II Diabetes, edema or other quality of life problems, then you you might want to examine what you might do to correct them. All these things revolve around choices. It's simply a matter of: do you want to make the choice? NOTE: I didn't say it was an EASY choice! My expectation is that you might be experiencing clinical depression. I'd be surprised if you weren't. It's a bitch. It also compounds the very things you've brought up. You have my wishes and prayers for your struggle to find a comfortable solution. Not just been there...still there.

the Snark

BorderCollie

07-07-2008, 03:21 AM

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Please allow me to answer this as a couple not as one or the other. First and formost, NOBODY is perfect and I mean NOBODY.
Secondly most, if not all of the "GLAMOURS" are models and not really into our lifestyle and scream high maintainance.

Now my sub is shall we say "Packing Some Emergency Skin" yet she is the most sensational person I know, and wouldn't swap her for anything.
I on the other hand, am 6 years her junior and being an ex-footballer am typical of that build and at 46, the doctor gave me a major check up and stated that I'm as fit and healthy as any 26 yo. However I'm bald!
Rest assured, I am not going out and getting a wig, hair transplant or whatever.
In my opinion you get dealt your hand when you are born and you deal with it.
Clair, KUDOS for having the guts (honest, no pun intended) for bring this topic up, it's incredibly brave of you, as this topic is very prominant to us.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person? I personally find the person attractive, and in this case my sub is also attractive. See a pic at alt.com BorderCollie. I much prefer when surfing porn to look at amature sites 'cause they are REAL people. Take a look around a shopping centre one day and see exactly how many people, be it male of female are incredebly attractive or thin???
Most larger girls for some reason have incredible skin, and usually very pretty face.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person? It depends, usually attractive/thin people get around like a POX DOCTORS CLERK. They think they are just the best, when in reality they are a shitty person of shallow substance.

What body type attracts you most? I really like a real body shape, the kid of shape that will have a beer with you, be able to eat desert at a night out, and will also be comfortable nude and bound or whatever.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life? Hell Yeah! I'm totally bald on top, I'm not hung like a donkey (Mr Average if ever there was some) which my sub likes as she loves anal, but not with a huge gadget. Where all my muscles used to be when I was playing football, gravity it well and truley doing it's thing.

What are my subs major high points??? She is a kind, generous, happy person.
She loves bondage, has the cutes feet and I'm not a foot fetishest. A killer smile. Hands down my best mate ever!

Again, a brilliant topic. My sub does not think she is worthy and has low seld asteam, the fool woman is dillusional and thinks that every woman wants me LOL

Arria

07-09-2008, 11:30 AM

Having been really skinny until I had my son, I´d like to comment on this, too.

Being skinny does not automatically mean you are confident and happy with your figure.
Being skinny does not automatically mean you are a member of the "I only had half a leaf of salad for lunch and want to be praised for it" club.
Being skinny does not automatically mean you are drug-addicted.
Being skinny does not automatically mean you look down on people who weigh half a pound more than yourself.
Being skinny does not automatically mean you have a bad personality or no character. For the ones who can´t refrain from making such utterances: I have been attacked by fat women more times I can count. Women I did not know and who had literally no way to know if I was a diet freak, suffered from Mega-Ego, or spent two thirds of my day in the gym.
To these women: Start working on your attitude, stop screaming you don´t want to be judged by your looks, start NOT TO jugde other people by THEIR looks, and maybe most important: Realize that you´ll get what you give. Be that positive or negative.
If you are not happy with your body, and can do something about that, stop the fucking whining, and do it, rather than bitching at thinner women, because that will NOT help your self-esteem. It will not make thinner women treat you friendly, and with respect, either - do you have a clue why that might be so? Yes? Good.

So, end of rant for that fraction of fat women I met.
I also met bigger ladies who were loved by literally everyone, who could get every man they wanted into bed (even if he claimed to be a skinny-girls-fan), and were great company and lots of fun.
They were confident. They knew they were not skinny, but they did not give a fuck. They felt comfortable within themselves. If they wished to be skinnier, they did not show it. Certainly they did not let it spoil their life or self-esteem.

I also met NORMAL sized girls (by normal I mean what a woman should look like in my opinion, with curves, and by curves I do not mean to euphemize too much fat. I mean a woman that looks like a woman without being overweight, period) who for some reason thought they were too fat, which was in the overwhelming majority of cases not the case.
Shockingly, these girls are the average, the absolute majority of the women I know.
I don´t see why women do this to themselves - look into magazines and feel bad because they are not the super-perfect models they can see there.
I know of not a single man who is that stupid. Neither do the men I know fret all fucking day about not looking like underwear models. NEITHER do the men I know expect the women they are with, or see on the street everyday, to look like the models in magazines.
Ladies - this troubling ourselves with not-looking-like-the-chicks-in-the-magazines is really, and truly, a habit we should get rid of. It spoils all the fun.

As for my own experiences: I hated being thin and had huge complexes until I was 19. Being skinny as a kid also means you have no big tits, and get your fair share of ugly treatment from your classmates or other teenagers for it. (Again, I cannot emphasize enough, not only the fat girls get to be the object of jokes.) In such a state, you do not take a compliment as a compliment - you only think people still wish to make fun of you, or they just say it to be nice.
For the greatest part of my puberty I also had glasses, and brackets on my teeth - do you get the picture? *lol*

I had my only serious relationship before the one I have now with a guy I greatly loved and who was smitten with my looks and figure (I had gotten rid of the glasses and brackets by that time, mind. *lol*). He would not stop telling me how good I looked. I did not believe it. I thought he just thought so because he loved me, so he was blind to the stick-like reality...
I later learned the greater part of my male friends during that time thought me hot... I never knew at the time.

If you wish to know what changed my self-perception overnight: I slept with my tattooist. A guy I was totally smitten with, and who had LOTS of beautiful women (models among them). I knew him well, I knew his tastes, and I knew he would not sleep with me unless he truly found me delicious, because he could have had simply anyone.
After that night, I thought "ok, I CANNOT be that crappy if he wanted me!".
No, I do not recommend sleeping with a tattooist if you have self-esteem troubles :-)
What I would like to point out is that this is the reason why all the reassurance an insecure woman gets from her loved one might not be helping - she will believe he only says it to be nice, or because he´s blind to reality.

All my life until my pregnancy, I wanted big tits. When I was pregnant, I got big tits, and after loving it for maybe 2 months, I came to hate them, and was glad when they were gone again. Men STARE at them before looking at your face (an experience totally new for me, and I hated it). Moreover, they are uncomfortable when sleeping on the belly, and they bounce painfully when you act as if you still had no tits worth speaking of, and jump down the stairs with no bra (I had not known this, either).

For now, since childbirth I have hips (before my pregnancy, I had no recognizable waist..) and a breast size I am very comfortable with.

As for the optical things that attract me:

I have always been optically enticed by women who look like women, meaning not like me, not sticky/skinny/bony/whatever you want to call it.
I tend to think women, no matter what they look like, think what they don´t have is what´s beautiful. (After all, same goes with hair. Curly women want straight hair, straight-haired women want curly hair, you get my point.)
I am not properly bi, though, I only like women´s upper halves... and of 100 people I look after, 98 are women, because I simply think women are more beautiful than men (to me).

As for men: My "type", as I used to have, was very tall and very skinny, preferably dark-haired and dark-eyed.
My hubby, on the other hand, is a tall, broad-shouldered giant who is described by one of my gay friends as "her hubby who looks like a bloody Viking".
Yes, I like long hair in men. Very much so.
I never fancied the hard-bellied, over-trained, slim, muscle-packaged sort of man which is used in fashion photos for men. To me, they always seemed artificial - like Ken, like Barbie, nothing I´d feel the urge to touch.

Valid for both sexes: I totally go for the eyes. If I don´t like these, I won´t fancy the rest, either, no matter how "perfect".

These were the optical things only.
But what triggers me truly is the radiance of a person. I cannot put a name to it otherwise, and I find it hard to describe. It´s not sex-appeal. It´s not simple confidence. I cannot name it, but I can say very few people have it. So I am not overly prone to cheating on hubby *lol*.
Apart from this, it´s voices that get me. Deep, raspy voices. The sort that usually belongs to tiny, ANCIENT men. *G* I would never do anything with them, but I go for these voices.

This was way more than what I had intended to write, but maybe one or the other among you finds something helpful.

Arria

07-09-2008, 12:12 PM

@ Claire specifically: I don´t know why you posted this thread, except for finding out if there are men/women who fancy thick ladies.
Of course there are. Not even few. There are even webforums specially dedicated to BBW, at least that´s what I heard.

Nevertheless: If you don´t feel comfortable in your own body, 1,000,000 people telling you you look great won´t help.
It´s your own image that matters. Not anybody else´s.

My teenage female friends were always on about how they would love to be as skinny as me. I did not get it. To me, they were beautiful, I wanted to look like them. They had curvy breasts, recognizable hips, they looked like women.

The right thing to do for you would be to work on your self-esteem, or on your weight, or both. Stop looking to other people for approval. They don´t matter.
You matter. Enough said.

Nixxi_Chaos

08-13-2008, 11:56 PM

Trust me, the prejudice against fat people is a pain in the fucking ass. No one takes you seriously, it seems, at least for me..

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person? Very, VERY attracted to heavy girls. I love big butts, but stomach pudge is like gah..The ubersexy to me. Don't ask why either, I got no clue.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person? Almost disgusted, to be honest. Especially those skeletal-looking things. I do, however, have this constant urge to break their ribs..

What body type attracts you most? Curvy, big hipped girls (preferably) with smaller breast.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life? Back when I was still trying to be "normal" (feminine, straight, so on) Yeah, no one looked at me twice. Ironically, now that I'm my own damn person, I'm known as a "gay of demonic charm" in that, there've been multiple straight girls who've had these weird little crushes on me. It's funny.

Flaming_Redhead

08-14-2008, 06:46 AM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

I'm repelled by fat people. I had some fat in-laws who would only eat at all-you-can-eat buffets, and watching them eat was positively disgusting. I've had fat friends that I've had to listen to them whine about being fat while doing absolutely nothing about it, except continue to overeat and not get up off their fat asses and take a walk. These same so-called friends would then feel the need to criticize MY weight, making all the comments listed above (i.e. you look like a heroin addict, you're too skinny, you need to eat, you make me sick, you look sick, men like a little meat on them bones) in order to make themselves feel better. I never once told them "you look like Shamu the whale, you're too fat, you shouldn't eat, watching you eat makes me sick, men like to be able to find the wet spot without having to roll you in flour first." That being said, all of my friends are overweight to some degree, and their weight didn't factor into my decision to be friends with them, which makes all those comments about "size 2s" being uppity and shallow extremely offensive to me since I am, in fact, a size 2.

While I'm on a rant, I'm sick of hearing "it's so easy for you" to lose weight, shop for clothes, etc. There's nothing easy about shopping for clothes! Since all the stores/designers have resorted to vanity sizing due to the majority of people being overweight, I now have to shop in the juniors' department because most stores don't carry many or any size 2 items. Luckily, I think the juniors' department has cute shit, and I don't like to dress like a stuffy old lady. Even then, I still have to try on 20 pairs of jeans to find 2-3 pairs that fit because the same size in the same brand doesn't necessarily mean anything.

Also, there's nothing easy about loosing weight! I have to stop overeating just like everyone else when I'm at the upper limit for my height. Just so you know, I'm 5' 2" with a small bone structure. My weight range, according to the Centers for Disease Control, is from 100 to 120. Over 120 is considered "overweight." I watch what I eat when I need to. I have walked 5 miles 3-4 days a week to burn calories because I have an extremely sedentary job. The point is I don't sit around whining about being overweight for too long before doing something about it. I'm not one of the lucky ones who can eat like a hog all day and not gain an ounce. I make an effort to stay at a healthy weight because it affects my self-esteem, and if I become obese, it will affect my health since type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart disease run in the family.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

I'm repelled by thin, bony, frail-appearing men. It's just not attractive when a man is as skinny as I am.

What body type attracts you most?

Muscular male bodies with broad shoulders and chest, tight abs, thick arms and thighs. *drools* That being said, I've been with slightly thin men, athletic men with a body to die for, and chubby men. In fact, both my current partner and the one just before are chubby. As soon as we started dating, they began worrying about their weight. They want(ed) to "look good" for me. I assured them that this "size 2" isn't quite the uppity, shallow person y'all have made her out to be. I value what's on the inside more than the outside because no one is perfect, least of all me. But if Daddy wants to drop 20 lb to look buff for me.....I say yay for me!

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

My body issues have never affected my love/sex life. I don't have to do it with the lights off or under the covers. My partners generally don't complain about the way I look, although I had one of the hunky athletic types tell me even though he knew he wasn't supposed to say so that I actually look good with a little more weight. I'm conscious of the white stretch marks on my hips and breasts from pregnancy and the once-full C cups now flaccid As, but I don't let them stop me from having a good time.

ponytrainer12

08-14-2008, 08:51 AM

I tend to the "chunky" myself. Adore women on of like caliber. To me there is something absolutely stunning about a "Reubenesque' slave in restraint, either leather or chains.

Shwenn

08-14-2008, 09:24 AM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

What body type attracts you most?

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

I used to think I was only attracted to tall, athletic men. This is true of men I don't know. But I came to understand that the right personality always overwhelms everything else. I've dated short and I've dated fat. And, at the time, I was bemused with myself that I didn't actually care. It seemed odd even to me how hot I thought they were but that didn't change how hot I thought they were.

My own body issues have affected my love/sex life. I became less wanton about sex until I took the weight off. I was too self-conscious.

Do you exercise? I really can't recommend it enough. And I don't mean it as a weight loss tip. Regular exercise might make you lose weight if your weight is the result of a sedentary life but not if you have a food issue. What it will do is improve your confidence, your energy level and your self-esteem. Even if you remain overweight.

I couldn't care less about your weight. But there is no reason for you to be so full of self-doubt. Especially since you're with a guy who finds you hot.

Exercise.

It probably won't make you thin but it will make you happier. Also, try to add omega-3 fatty acids to your diet. That should improve your attitude as well. Walnuts, avocados, oily fish like Salmon and Tuna and Halibut.

hopperboo

08-14-2008, 11:51 AM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
I am attracted to fit men. I am not repelled by bigger people. I am turned off if they don't take care of their body image. (Same with thin people. i.e. Wearing decent clothing, matching socks...that kind of thing). I personally wouldn't have a relationship with a bigger person because I need someone who pushes me to be healthier. I am a curvy girl, I could stand to lose 20lbs and both my parents are very overweight. I really need to keep myself healthy and I want a healthy partner because I know my parents don't do some things they would like to do because of their weight. (Not to mention health issues - my mom had two hip replacements before she was 50yrs). I would never be disrespectful to people who are overweight because I have multiple close family memebers who are bigger and no one ever really knows what is going on with someone. People who are bigger aren't always bigger because they are lazy...and I truly hate it when people think that.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
I would not use the word repelled at all...but I am not physically attracted to them.

What body type attracts you most?
Athletic. (But they can do their running alone). Haha.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
I don't have one of those. Drat.

But I would try not to let my weight affect my sex life...which is one reason I want to lose a few pounds. I need to be more comfortable with myself if I want someone to be comfortable with me.

Walker_In_The_Wild

08-15-2008, 05:36 PM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
What I consider repulsive is lack of hygiene. For instance: An obviously large women who is clean is worth a second look.

And yes, I am physically attracted to "fat" women.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
Weakness is not attractive in the least. There's a fine line between weakness and submission - Only the best women walk the later.

What body type attracts you most?
Round in the hips, thick legs, bright in the head.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
No. It hasn't. So I can't possibly relate to what you're feeling, Claire.

I will however say that I saw the pictures you posted in the self portrait section. . . very nice.

wingsofanangel

08-17-2008, 08:03 PM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

No

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

No

What body type attracts you most?

I have never had a type. When I was in my teens... I liked a guy who was 5'10 and a 38 waist and I also liked a guy who was 6'3 and a size 29 waist. I am not bi, but if I find a woman attractive, often times its her face that I look at. Anybody size can be attractive to me.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
When I was a teen, I'd always want to be like my thinner friends. But they were always saying they wanted to be like me. I realized that no one is ever 100% happy. And there is not a perfect body size or shape. What looks great on one may look awful on another. I think ideally I find women who are a size 8 - 12 attractive (As to what size I would like to be) and men about a 34-36 waist. But I certainly do not have limits at to what I find attractive or not.

For me, people have always told me that I radiate confidence. I laugh loudly. I walk into a room with my head up. I try to never pre-judge and befriends with anyone. I have fat days.. ugly days.. crappy days.. like everyone. But, I know over all, I am really pretty to some people. Other perhaps not, but to each their own, I am not attracted to every person.

I love being naked in my own home and am completley comfortable around my husband being so. He loves me, although he is not a BBW lover or chuBby chaser, but he fell in love with me. He said for him it all stops at the face. Thats what really attracts him in a womans face, so even if her body is amazing, if her face is not, its all over.

I do want to lose weight, but for my own health. I don't care about fitting into anyone elses mold of what they think I should be.

And I do agree, that slamming slender people is not appropriate. My best friend is 5'7 and a size 1 and she eats non stop and cannot put on weight. She cries because she wants to put on weight and cannot and used to beg to have an arse like mine ( while I begged to have a waist like hers) .. Just like being called fat can be hurtful, so can being called skinny or boyish. In my opinion, it really does have to do with whats on the inside. I can find something attractive in nearly any person I meet..

good_girl

08-17-2008, 08:44 PM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
I tend to notice a persons face before anything although I will admit, someone who is overweight to the point of unhealthy is a definite turn off for me.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
Really the same answer as above.

What body type attracts you most?
This is a tough one for me to answer because I do tend to notice the face first, I have been in a position where I have seen pics or talked to someone and have only been able to see their face...i decide than if I find them attractive or not, before even knowing what their body type is. Again I have to admit, I do enjoy having a peek at the yearly firefighter calendar LOL but in reality I can't imagine ever wanting to be with someone who looked like that, to me they seem so fake...I like real.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
I was always overweight until after my divorce (amazing what getting happy did for me) I began losing weight without any effort and my confidence soared and more weight came off....I felt great, not only physically but also emotionally, friends complimented me, guys started to notice me (or I started to notice them noticing me) I had about 20 more pounds to go to reach my goal (I'm only 5'3 so 20 pounds is a lot I think) and noticed that male friends of mine began offering me treats...food, I though this quite odd until one day a male friend of mine told me "do NOT lose any more!" I couldn't believe it and started looking around and talking to guys, noticing what they seem to like....and what I noticed is that many are just like me...they like the calendar pics but they don't want one of their own. I did lose about 5 more pounds and stopped there....I'm happy now with how I look :) and I think the confidence on my face is often what gets me noticed more than anything else.

denuseri

08-17-2008, 09:19 PM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
I believe its whats "inside" a person that really counts

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
see question one

What body type attracts you most?
On men it would have to be thier jaw line and shoulders, also the eyes i love the beast behind thier eyes (and a good sized dick doesnt hurt lol), with sapphotic encounters i am most attracted to a sensuous "giving" mouth, slim wrists, nice tasting toes and bueatiful necks, in any case the rest of the body can be varied to a rather large extent, if anything i marginalize over specific features not the overall shape
How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
yes i am allways affriad that i look too skinney, but my eating disorder would make more sence to me if i was worried that i was to big instead, mabey i dont eat enough becuase i am a masocist, but i have lots of body image issues, i have had a lot of corrective surgeries to repair cosmetic damage that i endured a few years ago

.x.Cole.x.

08-18-2008, 06:57 AM

i have been "big" as far back as i can remember... from when i was a lil girl... my mother says i started gaining weight when they put me on meds for my asthma which was really bad. pregnazon or something like that...

so being big is something i have had to deal with and i hate it. i wish i could be like these other chick ya know... blah... its whatever.... but onto more serious stuff...

when i first got with my Sir i was so self concious... i wore two shirts and pants all the time. Sir then started ordering me to wear a skirt unless i asked not to. so i slowly started to like my body more to where shorts and skirts... and now Sir is working on me being naked infront of Him without any problems... thats hard but slowly im becoming secure in my body... dont get me wrong i wish i could lose weight and it will be a long time before i can stand in front of Sir completely naked... He isnt going to like that but i cant help it. i have hid myself for 18 years now... and its weird showing my body to people....

i myself like thick people. my first girlfriend was thick... but she was beautiful. when she passed away i knew no one else could be as beautiful as her. never dated and never dated and then i met Sir. everything changed....

girl dont worry. im sure you are beautiful... better to be thick and beautiful than skinny enough your ribs show... Sir always says He doesnt want a skinny girl cuz He feels He has to feed Her.. plus with D/s... she'd break.. lol.. kidding but dont worry. your Sir took you as you are and He knew how you looked.. so let Him have what He "signed up" for....

much love///

.x.Cole.x.

leo9

08-18-2008, 04:41 PM

I'm attracted to people's minds. Everyone says it but I can prove it: my partners have ranged from tiny to tall and from skinny to huge, and I thought they were all beautiful.

I first contacted my late slave-wife by post, back in the ancient days when we exchanged bits of dead tree and it took a week to get a reply, and she told me she was fat but I just said "so much more to enjoy". And when she finally sent me a photo she must have chosen the most unflattering one she could find as a test, because it made her look like a weather balloon with a tennis ball on top. (At that time she used to wear her hair militant-feminist short, which suited her like high heels on a duck; I changed that right away.) And I looked at it and thought "That's different, but I can learn to love it." And I did.

I don't know about the US, but in England there seem to be more XXXL women in the BDSM community than I meet anywhere else, and without exception they are proud and confident as well as sexy. (A remarkable number of them are running our clubs and munches and the like.) Maybe it's because most BDSM people don't measure sexual attractiveness by how closely you fit the media body models, but by more personal tests like how well you project dominance or submission, or whether you can take or give pain creatively and effectively. Size is a practical detail, not a deal-breaker.

Say it loud, you're big and proud!

SilvieA

08-18-2008, 06:01 PM

Hey:-)
I think that every body type has its perks and downfalls. I personally don't really notice weight all that much. For me cleansliness and health are much more important. It is also important to me that you love yourself and rise above your phyiscal shape. I think that the only reason weight should ever become an issue is when it become physically debilitating or medically dangerous.
Of course my body issues affect my relationships. I am not fat, but I am not really skinny either. I guess I have what can best be described as an hour-glass figure. I have big boobs a thin waist and big butt. I am really athletic, so really i don't have all any medical body problems. I am really insecure about my figure though. When I wear a dress that looks sophisticated on my sister (she has a model type figure), I end up looking like a slut. Since I like to wear pretty dresses, I end up getting a lot of rude stares and inappropriate comments from people that make me feel really insecure at times. I try to rise above it though and just wear what I like. I guess what I'm saying is that every body type has its own stigma attached to it.
That by the way includes the popular model figure. I know becuase my sister, who is practically perfect by today's standards, also has body issues. If you let your life be dictated my your figure you will never be happy. No matter what you look like, there will always be something that makes you feel insecure if you let it.

orchidsoul

08-18-2008, 10:12 PM

I'm a little baffled by the folks bashing the thin people... and this is coming from someone who envies their metabolisms, but also understands it's usually harder for thin people to gain weight than it is for overweight people to lose weight (excluding any medical conditions)

I'm not skinny, will never be, and have to work really hard to be a size 6 or 8 (which I'm working on again! haha) on a 5' tall frame. But I love my body when it's in shape. The key being in shape and healthy. I'll never weigh 110 lbs- in fact, I would look unhealthy and very underweight since my frame is petite, yet quite curvy and hourglass-like. (SyvieA- I know what you mean. A simple dress on a less curvy female looks downright slutty on me!)

Someone said earlier (Tessa maybe?) about being healthy. I concur. For some folks overweight, they are on medicine that no matter how healthy they are, they'll still be overweight... But yeah, if you're eating 4 plates at the all-you-can-eat buffet... you're not being healthy. And I wouldn't be attracted to a man that did that. We owe it to our bodies and psyches to treat them properly, which doesn't necessarily mean one has to be perfectly in shape and ripped. Personally I prefer a little meat on the bones.

What I'm attracted to: personality first, but physical appearance is important... though that comes in many forms. Often personality makes an "average" looking person super hot in my mind. Body-wise, I like a man that looks like he could throw me up against the wall... and hold me there whilst he defiles me :)

If you don't want to be bashed for being pudgy/chubby/overweight/obese, don't bash someone for being thin/skinny/svelte. I'm feeling bad for the thinner crowd. Such stereotypes and presumptions are being made of their personalities and values which seems really unfair.

Most importantly, you do need to be happy with yourself. If you're not happy with your weight, do something about it. If you're happy, rock on.

bip0lar

08-21-2008, 11:43 PM

I've been fat for the past 12 years or so. It started out with finding emotional refuge in the fridge and then the hormones during puberty kicking in. All in all, I've hated my body and felt embarassed by it ever since i can remember. It's the only thing i can't stand discussed, I can't stand shopping for clothes, I have never allowed anybody to see me naked! Sex has always been a no-lights-on-whatsoever experience for me.
Nonetheless, I've attracted people which I always found odd seeing that 'for crying out loud, you honestly shouldn't like me and get hard!'
Slowly I'm coming to terms with it--but very, very slowly. My mother told me something that i think i'll share and maybe it may mean something to you too: 'your body is your safe haven. it's what protects your feelings, your brain, it's what allows you to act and to show who you are. it's NOT who you are. you're a cucoon where a butterfly is waiting to be hatched. but maybe you're one of those special butteflies that doesn't need nor want to hatch in order to show its true colours'

On another topic, i've never been attracted to thin men, even though i've been with a few. I'm attracted by dominant men, and, most of the times, kinda BIG dominant men, partially because it gives me the safe feeling that they can actually handle me, they can move me and they can hold me if i fall!
I don't want to sound fake, but because i've had my share of rejection because of my body, i've stopped looking at other people's bodies. I now tend to focus more on how the person makes me feel inside, that nice knot in my not-so-flat-stomach and the urge to look at my feet or stare at the ceiling rather than how much he weighs and how often he works out!
:) xx

xXfuckdollXx

08-22-2008, 11:58 AM

Ooh, interesting topic.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

As long as they are physically able and active, I am happy.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

See above.

What body type attracts you most?

Anywhere from slender to muscular to chubby.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

I am in the middle. I am at the smaller end of bbw, but too chubby to be in the thin group, buff legs and arms, chubby middle, wide hips and bust. I have my days where I feel insecure, but generally, I am just horny and don't think of my body type too much.

I used to be on medication for an illness and I gained a LOT of weight (more than 80 lbs within 2 months!!!). People assumed that I never exercised, or sat around eating McDonald's all the time. After getting off the meds, I lost most of that weight, but that experience taught me to mind my own business because I may not know what is going on in a person's life.

bambina

08-22-2008, 02:02 PM

I'm actually with Arria on this one.

Are you just feeling self conscious about your own body because there are people out there who don't like the way you look? If you are having problems with the way you look, a hundred people saying that you look fine isn't going to make you feel any different. Perhaps you should seek support somewhere that specifically caters to people like you who look a certain way that is commonly considered as 'ugly' in todays day and age.

"The prejudice against fat seems to be deeply embedded in our society"

If you know this then why are you asking us such a question? Does our opinion really matter? We're only with you online. You have to 'live' with 'our society'. 100 people saying fat is okay doesn't hold a candle to the billions of people who says it's not. If you don't like the way you look either change it or get over it. This is a personal problem or yours and it's yours alone. I'm sorry but this kind of subject is the kind I cannot stand. It's best to keep neutral people out of it because no one likes hearing about how someone is having body image issues. You have to solve this problem on your own or with a support group. You shouldn't drag others into it.

~Snake~

08-22-2008, 02:53 PM

Claire, *Big Hug*

You sound like you want and deserve the truth....so here goes!

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Attracted to fat person: NO.
Repelled by fat person: Sometimes...but that's not there fault, it's my fault for forgetting... from time to time... that they have feeling too and may have
a reason for being the way they are.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

Attracted to thin person: I used to think i was because that's what everyone told me was right....but No...not really....some thin women can be a bit obsessed with being thin....and yes...i know there is a name for it....but it don't mean i have to like it.

Repelled by thin person: NO.

What body type attracts you most?

I like natural women with curves in all the right places, not affair to go out without make-up on, happy in her skin, not scared to laugh out loud and joy to be with. Have you see any lately?....or are they all trying to look like the top models in the mags?

Thin want to be fatter, Fat want to be thinner, Tall want to be shorter, Short want to be taller, Brunette want to be Blond, Blond wants a Brain!!!!

I don't think anyone is happy in the skin anymore, everyone wants to change something, when the only thing they have to change.....is there attitude to themselves and others around them.

Be happy in your skin Claire. :wave:

love & hugs
Snake

AdrianaAurora

08-22-2008, 03:12 PM

Thin want to be fatter, Fat want to be thinner, Tall want to be shorter, Short want to be taller, Brunette want to be Blond, Blond wants a Brain!!!!

That is so not funny, :p. Just because this blonde who wishes she is taller (and to have smaller boobs, since we are at it - because then her life would be perfect, :rolleyes:) has lower levels of eumelanin than some people means... :blurp_ani.

~Snake~

08-22-2008, 03:16 PM

^^^ See Claire..... ^^^^ no one is happy in their skin...
always trying to get into someone else! *WEG* :rolleyes:

AdrianaAurora

08-22-2008, 04:34 PM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Repelled by them as people - no, I have plenty of friends, family and colleagues ranging from merely fat to super size whom I judge solely on their personality and intellect, just like everybody else.

Repelled by them sexually - repelled seems like such a strong and mean word, but yes. Its not them its me - I am a bit of a hygiene freak and I just cant get over those folds of flesh, large fatty stomachs, their navels, and for some reason I associate it with sweatiness.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

I don't think there is anything attractive about an anorexic, unnaturally skinny, gaunt looking women - all I see is the disease.

But again, as people - no, sexually/aesthetically - yes.

What body type attracts you most?

With men, strictly physically, for some reason I am affected by men who look like Jerry Seinfeld/David Copperfield/Ben Stiller - not too tall, darker skin, dark hair, medium build.
But I married a man who is a total opposite and am totally smitten by Him and enamored of His body, so that goes to show its all :icon176:.

With women - as long as they take care of themselves - its primarily their attitude and their personality. I am horrendously strict when judging myself, but with other women you could say I am (unintentionally/naturally) benevolent, I think they all look beautiful and its their character/charisma that determents their attractiveness.

If I like the aura/chemistry of the person...I find slim, medium, normal, overweight and those on the slimmer side of fat equally attractive.

I understand that illness and hormonal treatments cause gaining weight, but that accounts for what, maybe 1 to 10% tops of overweight people.

The majority of people are overweight because they don't do anything to try to change - they don't exercise, they eat wrong and they eat too much - instead they prefer to dream about one morning magically waking up skinny.

I am also not impressed with the "slap the skinny" b**ch fast some people have indulged here to make themselves feel better. I cant count how many times I have caught fat women starring at me with an acrimonious gaze, like its my fault. And I am not even skinny, I am a normal weight for my height and toned due to exercise.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

If my husband only thinks I am getting into my "ugly day" mood, He thinks its His duty to spank it out of me - thats how, lol.

I wish I was a little taller so I could hug and kiss Him when I feel like it, instead of having to ask Him to bend over. He's 6.4 and I'm 5.3.

Sometimes I obsess about the size of my breasts; they look great now, but I shudder to think where they will be in another five years, :eek:. And, a bit of an oxymoron, while I find fake breasts unattractive, I still :eek: because mine aren't gravity deifying, ball like monstrosities, lol.

With everything else, I'm pretty happy to be me. I have great skin, great hair and huge eyes, so I think it all balances each other out. I have never wanted to be anyone else, just to look my own best.

What bothers me is the uniformity of how models look. For instance I have been buying Cosmopolitan since I was 14 i.e. more than 10 years and I have yet to see a brown eyed model demonstrating eyeshadow for brown eyed women (!), the best they can do is hazel/green. Is that insane or what?

And why do all make up "advisers" think that brown eyes automatically means dark hair/dark-er skin? Pale people have brown eyes too.

And airbrushing is my pet peeve and weakness. It should be considered a criminal activity, at best its deceit. And yet, its how I think I should look 24/7/365. Intellectually I know that those women have no armpits, no knees, no freckles, no scars and that its completely unattainable - but still its what I have gotten into my head that men expect and want. My husbands answer to this rationale is a raised eyebrow.

It has no effect on my sex life, but it does effect on how I think people perceive me.

jelly88

08-25-2008, 06:41 AM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
This might sound bad or whatever but I am the a fan of the truth. I have never hooked up with a fat guy and I have no interest in doing so. Big guys are great who are built stocky but if they have a gut that like hangs or whatever it just repells me.

I'm not really into girls (most of the time) but in art I love the women with a bit of wobble on them they seem more real and more loved and more loveable. A flat toned stomache is a big turn on though *shrugs*.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

The only time I find a really thin chick attractive is in porn. Like because they just seem so breakable and vunrable. But then the rest of the time they just kind of look unwell.

And thin men. At the moment its not a go for thing but I used to dig it in my late teens.

What body type attracts you most?

Powerful musclar tanned. Taken care of in a rough way.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

Great now I have to talk about myself... So currently I am over weight. I weigh about 10kgs more then I think I should and it use to be more like 18kgs over. So I used to be a lights on girl. And now I am a hide under the blankets lights off girl. But that being said I am getting much more comfortable bringing myself back to were I think my body should be. All that said I will always (unless I get some eating disorder) have a big ass and chunky legs, a flat tummy and small boobs... but thats me and I found that everythings better when I go with what I've got instead of staring at someone else.

alpha_Straye

08-26-2008, 04:10 PM

I have had men make disparaging comments about my body size/shape while I am naked in bed with them. There were at least a couple of guys who took one look at my naked body and said, "wow, you need more muscle tone."
And there was one particular ex who saw me naked, and just flat out told me that I am "huge." (Which I don't agree with, BTW, but whatever.)

Wow.. way 101 for a guy to get chucked out of the house stark naked. Or hog tied with his underwear and left on the lawn, but perhaps im in a mood today *wry smile*.

Please, Madam, if there were anything they honestly thought was so wrong with You, then they wouldnt have bothered to make the effort to get into Your bed. i hope You didnt take any bit of that BS to heart because even if whatever flaw were real (which i sincerely doubt) there would be no reason or exscuse to be so impolite as to say so like that. It sounds to me like a trick to damage your selfesteem by someone with his own sexual problems (and typical abuser stuff by the way). Anybody else who found some suprise detail too objectionable would just make some exscuse and leave... which means this stuff wasnt You. It was them and their own problems with themselves. It's not my place to say but i think You're well rid of them, even though im sure it hurt You anyways which im sorry for *sigh*.

bip0lar

08-26-2008, 04:25 PM

yeh, right on to what alpha_Straye is saying, i've thought of that a million times: if you can get hard then you don't get to complain. </rant>

Ragoczy

08-26-2008, 04:50 PM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

What body type attracts you most?

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

I'm more prone to be attracted to someone who isn't overweight (truly overweight, not over the ridiculous standard set by models). If someone is overweight, then my level of attraction is affected by how they carry it -- I've known some who are very overweight but carry it in such a way that they're also very attractive ... I suppose it's a subjective thing.

SnickerKitten

09-08-2008, 06:56 PM

I tend to be much harder on myself as far as appearances go than on what appeals to me in other people. Ragoczy never lost his desire for me when I topped out at a size 14 but I was not happy with myself and felt less attractive to him in my own mind. Oddly enough, I did experience the sensation of feeling invisible in public.

I am now down to a size 4 and I feel extremely attractive. I am not entirely certain that it is being thinner that causes me to attract so much more attention in public as that I *feel* much more attractive and project a lot more self confidence. I think *that* is what attracts attention to me and keeps me far from invisible.

As far as how body type affects my view of other people... I prefer men to be thin but muscled and definately defined. Women I like soft and balanced; well-proportioned. If she's big on top then she needs to be big on the bottom, too.

-kitten

icey

09-12-2008, 05:12 AM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
not repelled but definately not attracted, i do have a huge fear of fat though
Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
im straight but thin ...very thin women attract me, but men just of an average size not fat or thin.

What body type attracts you most?
average, i dont like fat thin or muscly 6 packs

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
at times very badly, its never easy for me to be seen naked and never has been,i have an ED and when it's in full blown mode im terrified of anyone seeing or touching my body i dont even look at it myself lol which needless to say does not make sex easy or much fun :(
when you're visually and physically repelled by your own body its very difficult to be,feel or act sexual all you want to do is hide yourself away or cower in a corner and cry, and im embarrased to admit i have been known to do that.
and in D/s r/ships its even worse as you're not supposed to say no,or refuse to accept that your Dom/me thinks you're sexy attractive or whatever which then often leads to arguements or 'tellings off', so each time becomes more and more tense; for both parties.

DirtyAmericanEcchi

09-14-2008, 08:51 AM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
I am not attracted to those that are over weight, and for the overly obese I am somewhat repulsed physically - but this does not make them a bad person.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
I am very attracted to women who are thin, or with slight curves. This is somewhat bias as I am a 6ft male with 150lbs that I carry around in body weight.

What body type attracts you most?
Skinny to curvy, as along as it is well proportion I am content.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
I am very confident in my love and sex life far as physical appearance. I tend not to dwell on my own level of physical attractiveness. I assume that if a tall skinny and mysterious man such as myself can get girls with out much effort on my part that I am doing well, and why question it? I realize that not every woman is attracted to by demeanor or body type, but I do have a niche market, and I am more then happy to shop there as well.

PropertyOfMasterJoey

09-14-2008, 10:14 AM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
i don't mind a little extra padding. i think it depends on their frame. Some people can pull off being bigger than others. i guess it just depends on how they work it :-P

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
once again, depends on how they work it. if it's a girl i prefer them curvy and a guy i like to have enough meat on his bones so i feel like he could overpower me and protect me but once again it depends

What body type attracts you most?
i'm not attracted to a specific body type it just depends.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
very much so. i was emotionally abused by my mom which drove me to bullemia. my low self-esteem made me aim for guys who treated me like crap. Master was the first to treat me good and make me see myself the same way He does

Wyked Bytch

09-14-2008, 12:22 PM

Thank you Claire for asking these questions.I guess I should start by saying I am BIG..*grin very BIG* and never fully felt comfortable with being big in the vanilla world. When I found BDSM I found ME. I found that most in the BDSM community care less for society imposed body norm and more for the ability and attitude of the person. One of my first ever public play sessions was at 2 of NYCs infamous BDSM clubs, and there I felt like a Goddess, I have never had so many men and women so openly desiring me it was an amazing rush. It will be so wonderful when vanilla meets BDSMsopeness and acceptance of any and all.

IAmCanadian

09-18-2008, 12:41 AM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Physically, I am repelled by a fat person (though that terms seems harsh). From time immemorial human beings have been conditioned by nature to pursue and attempt to mate with the most "fertile looking" females. This insures that good genes get passed on down the line. I understand that this is a very pragmatic view but it jibes with how I feel and how my body tends to respond. When I see an hourglass shape, the swell of breasts, glowing skin, luxurious hair and other qualities indicative of beauty and good genes, I am very attracted. I know it sounds cruel, but...there is a lot of science behind this. Human beings are like any other creatures. As much as we can claim to be programmed by magazines like Maxim to accept one female body type as the gold standard for desirability, the truth is that Maxim is the proof of our programming rather than the cause of it. If the human race were inclined to be attracted to overweight people, we would be a race of extremely overweight beings by now, after a thousand generations of that bias.

I have had burgeoning online relationships end quite painfully because I wasn't attracted once the time came to take the next step and see what the other looked like. Painful, yes- but trying to supress tens of thousands of years of instinct is even more painful. In such cases I'm always careful to let them down as gently as possible. Though the question wasn't phrased to include this, I can't help but offer the caveat that a huge percentage of so-called attractive women tend to have unworkable amounts of self-esteem, rendering them very poor submissives, at least for my purposes. On the flip side of the coin, I have found that many women with body issues lack self-esteem and so are more natural submissives.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

If by thin you mean shapely and attractive, then yes. If by thin you mean as unreasonably thin as the fat person from the above question is unreasonably fat, the answer is no, for the same reason discussed above.

What body type attracts you most?

The fertile-looking female type that my mind is programmed to pursue.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

I think it's only pragmatic to judge oneself partially by the attractiveness of one's mate. This sounds like something out of National Geographic, but part of me feels like getting into a relationship with an overweight woman is akin to giving up- admitting that I don't have what it takes to attract a mate (preferably a submissive) who is attractive to me. As a result, though, I'm still single- so I guess I paid the price. On at least three occasions I've turned down chances to delve further into relationships because of the body type of a prospective partner. But that wasn't the question.

My own body issues have sometimes hindered my love and sex life as well. I'm not overweight, but my inability to find the perfect woman for me has sometimes made me wonder if, for some reason, I'm just not attractive to the opposite sex.

The last word I want to say on the subject is that there's a sort of sliding scale in play here, at least for me. The more perfect a woman is in terms of wit, kindness, uninhibitedness and sexual compatibility, the more physical flaws I'm willing to overlook. For perfect sexual compatibility I'd be willing to overlook quite a lot. Not that I expect to ever find that.

- FS

medusa

09-20-2008, 02:19 PM

I'm big, but not just in the overweight sense. I'm ridiculously tall and really very muscular too, which means that I'm a true example of a BBW!

My partner is overweight, but that's not why I'm with him. I am not repelled by either overweight or thin and I've been out with both, but I'm pretty repulsed by a bigot (it's far more to do with the mind for me).

If picking eye candy, I tend to pick very tall, muscular and Scandinavian (think Magnus Samuelsson, the world's strongest man competitor).

Ironically my body image has improved dramatically as I've aged, bearing in mind that as I've aged I've gained weight (from being a model in late teens) and gained significant disabilities too. When I was younger and thinner I was desperately insecure and would never have worn a mini skirt or swimsuit unless it was for a job. These days I wear what I want to and people can either look or not look, as they see fit.

I'm not sure whether my no longer giving a toss about other people's opinions of me is due to aging or a product of having been seriously ill- either way round I'm quite pleased that it's happened because these days I'm free not to fret about whether I'm conforming to any sort of social norm.

long_x9

10-01-2008, 07:48 PM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

Im going to answer both at the same time. I am not particularly attracted to fat or thin women more then I am the other. The most important thing is that they are healthy and happy. I find someone who is happy much more attractive then one that is unhappy. The part of the answer that will probably answer what u wanted as a answer is that I think that women should be proportional. A bigger girl with no tits or ass is just not very attractive to me and a twig with DD+ just are unnatural and also not very attractive to me.

What body type attracts you most?

well lets start from the top down, I like long black hair with a cute face. The face is one of the most important areas to me if Im not attracted to your face it just isnt going to work out for me. I like big boobs ( but proportional so to go with the rest of what Im going to say well just say anywhere between Large C and F) torso,arms and legs should have meat on them but not over doing it.. something u can grab but I dont want it to feel like its the same consistency as there boobs all over there body.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

it doesn't I dont think about how I look when Im with my girl even though I wish I was skinnier and more attractive I dont let it bother me when me and her are having our alone time

skp2bear

10-02-2008, 06:57 AM

The only thing I find utterly is the tall men and women who are very thin as in less than size 8. For one thing their thin stature ensures future health and memory problems. There is no way their bodies can store enough protein to protect their bodies and joints. My weight has been about the same for thirty years at least never varying more than 20 pounds. At my age i'm the same as every woman in the family and all have lived well into their eighties. It was only towards the end when they lost their weight the started breaking hips and things.Right now I'm size 16 side of size 18. Sure I find it hard to believe someone would find me attractive but the when I colored my hair a reddish brown to attend the annual reenlistment as a substitute teacher I looked at myself in the webcam and found a very cute woman looking almost twenty years younger than she actually is.

his_girl_l

10-13-2008, 06:54 PM

First comment: Almost without exception the women who have posted here saying they are bigger and proud of it have chosen an avatar of a thin woman. Why? i don't have an avatar because i haven't uploaded a photo yet, but if i was going to choose one that wasn't a picof me i would want it to represent me and what i believe. So if being a bbw and proud of it is important to you, why are you girls choosing avatars with thin idealised bodies?

In my opinion an attractive body is all about proportion. i have a friend who is 5 foot 10. She is carrying a fair bit of extra weight but it is spread evenly over her body and she looks fabulous, like a goddess. i'm only 5foot 3 so every extra kilo really shows. Again though, up to a point it goes on evenly and i still look good. At the moment though i am carrying extra weight around my belly, still there after my last child, and i won't really be happy with my body till i move it.

i was actually a bit heavier than i am now when my Master first saw me. We then lost contact, i had another baby and when we got back in touch i was smaller than i had been, although still not back to where my body was before having kids.

i have been trying to lose the last of the weight, He knows this and has been encouraging it. But the other night He asked me if i was trying to lose it for Him and told me that if that was the case i shouldn't, that he loves my body as it is (and i think He is worried that if i lose more weight more will come off my breasts - he is so greedy, they are dd, they can afford to lose a little!).

But i thought about it and i'm not trying to lose it for Him. i just don't feel like me while i'm carrying it.

So i told Him that and He's going to keep encouraging me and use His influence to make me stick at it - because He knows it is important to my happiness.

Body shape is important to me but body size really isn't - although once you pass a certain size it is hard to stay in proportion unless you are 7 foot tall!

MacGuffin

10-13-2008, 08:13 PM

I agree with I_27 that proportion is a critical factor in beauty. There was an excellent documentary presented by John Cleese "The Human Face" which went into the importance of proportion very well.

That said, for me big or small, tall or short is in itself unimportant but it does affect the body parts that get more attention and the activities I like to do with that particular gal - if a gal's got a big meaty ass then spanking is on the menu - if it's hard and bony then I will simply refocus elsewhere. I guess my ideal would be one of each size then I get to have a variety!

FrozenGrapes

10-17-2008, 12:11 PM

I feel as if i should at least say a few words. My entire life i have struggled with my weight. through bouts of anorexia and bulimia through school. even now i am not a small girl however i came to decide a few years ago that regardless that i dont look like the actresses on the big screen it was ok.
now i am very comfortable with my not so perfect but very sexy self and know now that while there are different ideals, your mind is the most sexy thing you possess, all others will fade with time.
Now that being said, i have been with the most beautiful athletic girls and guys to guys that my friends have said "why?"... and the answer was always the same.. it is how they treat me. weather they were fine or not so fine, the way i was treated was always the deciding factor. and from that stemmed all other emotions, sexual or otherwise.

but to answer the questions more directly: i am not repelled by a larger person (unless we are speaking "cannot get out of bed type large) but i am a little repulsed by the ones that allow themselves to become nothing more than a skin covered skeleton.
I am most attracted to healthy or a little heavy men (thick) and the same for women (but really really, is there such thing as a non-sexy woman? just my opinion) i like curves, and i like athletisism but a little weight is nice too (bigger boobs *wink*)
and myself? i am not small and i am not enormous, i am thick, curvy and sexy as hell! could i lose a few lbs? sure.. do i feel it would make me more confident in the bedroom? i sure as hell hope not! because someone is liable to get hurt!! hehe!! kisses and hugs to all you sexy ass people!!

shayna{L_D}

10-17-2008, 12:58 PM

Im going to chim in here.

I wasnt big all my life, i started to struggle with my weight when i was about 19. Ill be 24 in a few weeks. The weight struggle came from being teased about how "big" i was. Now let me give you an example of what i look like. I have big boobs *proud*, im 5'4ish, i have nice toned legs, and very skinny arms, so a lot of people would mistake my big boobs for being fat. It happened to me a lot. I mean A LOT.

I was in a bad relationship that left me feeling ugly and fat. I left that life and traded it for a new one, in a new city, with new people. *best desicion i ever made* With this change came a want to change the way i looked. I cut all my hair off, changed my style of clothing, and started to diet. *i was around 200 lbs at that point, and this was only back in January 08* Actually my work started the diet. It was a idea brought on by my bosses drive to lose weight. He made the "Chub club" 16 weeks, 5 dollars a week, lose 10% body weight, you win the money at the end, if 13 people did it the pot would be 1040, only one person lost 10% that one person would get all the money, more then one person wins, divey it up. I joined and won. I lost way more then my ten percent. I went from 200 lbs to 165. In 16 weeks. I cut out almost all carbs, i count calories, cut what i would normally eat in half, dont eat when im not hungry, work out twice a day..some people think im obesssed i just think its s drive to want to look and feel better.

Yes i lost a lot of weight but with that came more teasing, since i have big boobs *which are shrinking* people say i look like a steleton with boobs, or that i will just topple over, or that i am turning to dust. My best friend even calls me Ski N. AndBones, and or skeletor, or Bones. Not funny, and not cool. Hurts my feelings actually. So i guess u cant win if u are big or skinny. Most of the people that say theses are..big.

I hate the word fat, i really do. I think thats a cut down and makes the other person feel horrible. I never liked being called fat, so i wouldnt say it to someone else.

When I like someone, friendship or relationship, i like them for there mind, Like what Grapes said. Beaty fades the mind is ... til forever, (or until you die). I am not a shallow person. Ive been with big guys, small skinny guys, buff guys, medium guys, huge guys, and one skinny mini girl, they all turned me on in different ways. I am not turned off of bigger people, not one bit. I am not with someone, or someones friend bc they are skinny.

Am repelled by someone who is skinny, Not at all! Read above.

just my two cents.;)

correction: its not a diet i am on, its a lifestyle change.

hopperboo

10-17-2008, 01:43 PM

Nice post. I agree. I hate the word "fat" and when I hear someone making mean remarks about someone being "fat" my respect and opinion about is shot down big time.

The club thing sounds like a great idea!

I am working on losing 20-30lbs. This summer was not good and I gained way too much weight. We had some family issues come up and I stopped working out (I did Pilates and 20-30 minutes on my elliptical machine) and because we did so much traveling there was a LOT of fast food going on.

I'm '5"2 so 10lbs shows quite enough. Thankfully I have a pretty even weight on my body so I always look 10lbs or more less than I am...but it still doesn't make it any better when I am looking at the scale. Or in the mirror.

(I think we should have a thread where anyone wanting to lose weight or is trying to be healthy can cheer each other on!)

shayna{L_D}

10-17-2008, 02:09 PM

(I think we should have a thread where anyone wanting to lose weight or is trying to be healthy can cheer each other on!)

thank you Hopper :) I agree!! I know i wouldnt have won the chub club *chub club 3 started today also! here i go again!!* without the support of my friends and my co-workers. It was great. Youd hear people yelling "whats up skinny!!?" down the hallway at me, it made me feel rather good. :)

blythe spirit

10-17-2008, 03:37 PM

Okay, here I go. *giggles* In my opinion, society has placed too much emphasis on weight - both over and under. When the government can go into schools and dictate what a child's BMI has to be in order to move on to the next grade - ummmm starts too many children, who may have some baby fat, to obsess and I don't think that's mentally healthy at all.

I was never skinny, but curvey, with rounded hips and full-sized breasts. I was proportionate, but more importantly, I was healthy and that's what mattered to me. I exercised regularly (just so I could eat the foods I loved lol) and, therefore, was solid.

To me, this form is quite sexy; however, I know men who like the flat-chested, thin as a rail girls and I wonder if they wouldn't be happier with a little boy. lol. Okay, don't get your panties in a twist, it was a joke.

Still, when I wrap my arms around someone to give a hug, I want something to wrap my arms around and can't stand being jabbed by bones. I have a friend just that skinny and everytime I hug her, I feel she's gonna break lol

Too skinny, too fat. Neither are healthy. But I question how anyone can determine what a particular weight should be for a particular height. We're all different and if we're healthy, dammit, that's all that matters.

FatherTimejr

10-18-2008, 05:06 AM

Im not sure how right I should feel about how I think on this, but as a whole im a larger fellow, 275 lbs at the moment aiming to be about 250, but ive never really been attracted to large or larger woman....which something about me feels a little awkward about, like im not being fair, but what can I say...anyways to the questions...

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a large person?

I wouldnt say im physically attracted to them, and theirs a point where large is just too large for me. I like curvaceous women, and even if they are on the heavier side, as long as they carry it wel its great. But as it stands I've yet to be attracted to a woman heavier then I am.

I know this is a strange thing but for me...if a woman (or man, im not bi or gay but as for weight this applys the asme way) straightens their arm and you can no longer see their elbow...something deep inside of me flinches. And im not saying that to be mean, its just a truth with me...Now thats not to say alot of my friends ahvent been that heavy, ive had a number of friends of very large stature but yeah.

now that being said, blythe has said it as have a couple others, health is important, and is something I struggle with even with my body, and struggle to improve upon.

I wont place numbers to a weight because everyone holds it differently

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

I think it really depends...I think my opinion here is similair to my opinion on overweight...is that the extreme rail thin doesnt work for me...now again their are skinny woman that skinny who can attract me by basis of personality.

when you get to the point where its uncomfortable to sit in your lap or hug them due to them being just that skinny, I probably wouldnt be attracted to them.

--

As a note, with both skinny and overweight, neither one would I go "oh im so repelled im disgusted get away from me." its just that im not attracted if that makes sense. I know how it is to be overweight and ive had my share of difficulties which i'll make mention to in erm two questions?

What body type attracts you most?

Body type that most attracts me...as I stated I like curvaceous woman who hold themselves wel, and really it goes either way, I like petite woman smaller then i am in height (im 6 foot) or I like the same in woman taller then I am. But either way I like them to have enough weight to give them curves.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

Id give that a signifficant YES. Ive never really given off an external sense of self-confidence problems, but deep down for a very long time, I had alot of confidence issues, and still do, but they are getting better as I sort myself out in my head.

For a long time, middle school and high school, I came to develope a sort of "oh well, I seriously doubt im going to find someone for me..." yadda yadada mentality, which I still manage to dredge up from time to time, which was strange because as time went on, I got used to that mentality and I think to a point it helped me become more Okay with my weight because I didnt worry about it as much. But at the same time it created a stumbling block in me finding someone. Nasty vicious little circle.

Ive worked through alot of that, though and have basically kept the confidence I have built up and thats just growing, while im working on dwindling the negative attitude.

Also in high school I wasnt necessarily wrong, my school was a very preppy high school, and looks was a large factor and while I wasnt bad looking, the fact that I was a large "nerd", well liked by the guys but well...., didnt help my love life.

To sum it up, yes it has effected things, but I think more then anything it was my mind that made me faulter -shrugs and grins-

Anyways in the end, none of these are SET rules, but just how things have appeared to me up until now. Is some of how I feel fair? probably not and I often myself dissapointed with my thoughts when I think one way or another about someone but well...cant make someone attractived to me, fortunately or unfortunately.

But for everyone, rail thin, or bbw, or anywhere in between, hold to yourself, change if you feel, if not be who you are, and it'll all work out.

edit- wow only after posting did I realize how much I wrote -coughs-

blythe spirit

10-19-2008, 07:58 AM

FTjr, you stated your case well. In the end, you have to be happy with yourself. The fact that you're losing weight, not to please someone else, but yourself is a good thing.

If that's you in the avi, you're just a cutie. *winks* Are you overweight? hehehe Maybe you're just too short?

Strangely, there's an advantage to online, we get to know people from the inside out. And there's some really spectacular people out there both unweight and overweight.

DiablosLittleOne

10-19-2008, 08:13 AM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

What body type attracts you most?

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

1. I can and have been attracted to "fat" people. My husband is not a small man by any means and I've always liked bigger girls as well. I like a nice bust and ass; something to grab on to. ;)

2. Hhmmmm...emaciated people, yes they repel me. *shudders* I think we all need a little meat on our bones, but thin people in general....I can be attracted to them and then again I may not be. All depends on the person themselves; they can have that "perfect" body but be so ugly inside that I wouldn't give them a second look.

3. This is hard for me to answer, as looking back I realize that none of the people I've been with have any physical characteristics in common. I like a big burly man, something about it makes me feel safe and at home. I like a woman with curves, something soft and warm to cuddle up with.

4. My issues don't effect me that much anymore. I can get up and walk around stark ass naked in front of Master with no problem. However, when it comes to others seeing me in the buff, I'm scared to death. I've had four children, I'm not a small woman and I feel that I'm flabby and fat. I would be scared to death that someone would look at me and go "eww...gross". It damned near gave me a heart attack to post a relatively tame picture of myself on here yesterday.

All that being said.....it's really not how a person looks on the outside. Well, it shouldn't matter anyway. The world would be a much better place if we all realized that.

blythe spirit

10-19-2008, 09:15 AM

All that being said.....it's really not how a person looks on the outside. Well, it shouldn't matter anyway. The world would be a much better place if we all realized that.

Thank you for reiterating what I said.

FatherTimejr

10-19-2008, 10:14 AM

thank you blythe. And hehe yes that is me, but its only from shoulders up and yeah i am overweight, im 6"1 or so and about 275 lbs. Working on getting to be about 250 I like being larger, but yeah...health issues ya know.

MissConfused

10-19-2008, 10:32 AM

DowntownAmber

10-19-2008, 10:56 AM

I am sorry if this has already been mentioned
This thread is long and I may have missed a reply

Does anyone here have a body that approaches their avatar?
Does everyone here seek pleasure and has an attitude that exceeds their avatar?

I believe the answer to body size lay not with the body but the mind
Will your master remember your body size after a session or will he remember your submission and pleasure from his domination?

Perhaps if I had a team of Photoshop experts and airbrushers following me around 24/7 we could discuss approaching the avatar...lol

But you are correct in suggesting that attitude etc. overrides what our bodies may or may not look like. There is a significant difference to looking beautiful and being beautiful. My preference is a nice balance between the two. There's no way I would walk out on J if he put on a few pounds, I love who he is far too much for that. However, I am very pleased and more than a little turned on when he comes back from running or working out.

It's normal and healthy to love and appreciate both the physical and the mental aspects of our partners.

goldendawn

10-19-2008, 08:15 PM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person? i personally am not repelled by a person who is overweight at all. i am more attracted to their confidence level, their personality, if i feel safe with them, their strength of mind and spirit, if they are generous and loving...all these things and more add up to whether i find them physically attractive or not. At first glance i may or may not be attracted to someone who is overweight but it has to do with how they carry themselves, not with their weight.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person? Same answer as above, though when intimate, i do tend to like a little meat on the Mans bones. i like hugs and i like to "feel" well hugged, not saying a thin person doesn't give good hugs but i don't like to get bruised when being hugged either.

What body type attracts you most? If i had my way, stocky/muscular, any height above my own, however if i love the person, their body becomes my ideal as love tends to bring perfection to my eyes.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life? my body issues do not affect my love life at all. However, being a bit self conscious of my body, it has affected my sex life some. i tend to shy away from having the lights on or being in the open. i'm not an exhibitionist to begin with and am very shy as well but i think i would be less inhibited if i were to see in the mirror what i envision in my head.

What i have come to realize (just by answering these questions really) is that weight is just a small factor in the scheme of things. And it really should have no part in the lifestyle as it is changeable and offers a Dominant many opportunities to "be" Dominant and at the same time assisting the submissive to develop a good sense of health and body image, trust and self esteem etc. Attraction comes in many forms and most have nothing to do with a persons weight. So why do we sometimes feel that THAT is the one thing that may prevent us from becoming everything we wish to become?

Very few people i know are at their ideal weight. i am working towards mine, for my own confidence, my own health. It's not easy and it has taken me years to find a method that will work and be healthy at the same time. i've finally found the right combo for me. Am i losing the weight because i thought there was something wrong with me? Yes, i wasn't as healthy as i could have been and it was hurting my confidence because i let it. So i decided to do something about it. For no one else, but for me. If i had a Dominant in my home to lead me and push me towards my goal it would be easier but through the years i've not been with a Dominant who wanted that kind of control of me. It wasn't a jazzy enough topic in our lives to warrant the strength or attention needed.

Should you lose weight for someone else ? No, should you allow someone to help you if they care about you? Yes

icey

10-20-2008, 02:24 AM

Nice post. I agree. I hate the word "fat" and when I hear someone making mean remarks about someone being "fat" my respect and opinion about is shot down big time.

i dont want to change the thread and i agree with this comment, but why is it that people dont think it mean to make mean remarks about skinny people! it should work both ways.
i didnt post as bluntly as i could have in regards to my feelings re ''fat'' because i didnt want to offend anyone but i noticed that many dont have a problem with referring to people as bony skinny twigs,thin as a rail etc

damyanti

10-20-2008, 03:11 AM

What is thin?

What is fat?

I have been called both anorexic and fat...while I was the same weight.

lucy

10-20-2008, 03:17 AM

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
Very overweight persons are not appealing to me.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
My Master is 1.93 m and just 83 kg. So, yes, i guess i'm attracted to thin persons. Or at least not repelled.
However, i found out that calling him "Spargeltarzan" and then telling him that this means asparagus Tarzan is a very stupid idea :D

What body type attracts you most?
Every from thin to moderately overweight. And although i guess that very large persons can just be as sexy and beautiful and nice to have sex with i think i won't ever date someone massively overweight. Just because there's that thing called "first impression" and i'm afraid those people won't make a very good one on me.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
When i realized that i started to gain weight i took up going everywhere by bike and took up jogging. Being in shape and comfortable with my body is also good for my sex life. But then again, being comfortable with ones body is probably a very good thing for most aspects of ones life.

Originally Posted by MissConfused View Post
Does anyone here have a body that approaches their avatar?

It's not too far off, however my butt isn't that boyish ;)

When the government can go into schools and dictate what a child's BMI has to be in order to move on to the next grade - ...
Now that was quite some shocker. Which government does something as stupid as that?

FatherTimejr

10-20-2008, 05:11 AM

Icey: You've got a point on that, I personally am not overly upset by the use of the term "Fat" when applied to me. Kinda how I dealt with being called fat in the past is I kinda just went, yep im overweight, i'll adopt fat -pats fat-. However for alot of other people fat was a traumatizing word like in highschool and in middle school, movies and so forth for that matter. Not to say super skinny people didnt get similair grief because I know they did, but...

Where skinny and thin were often compliments at least where I went, admittedly rail thin might not be the best descriptive term but for me, its one of the only ones I can think of to describe like realllllly skinny people.

But I have seen instances where people with really skinny legs or such did get ragged on, often times though they were made fun of using other words then skinny like, chicken legs or so on.

Thats not to say someone shouldnt be offended by the term skinny, if someone is im sure they have a perfectly good reason to be, but skinny and/or thin (which would thin be better?) are the only words I can think well, plus respective adjectives, that would be the most friendly I suppose.

jezabel

10-20-2008, 05:28 AM

What has amazed me is the prejudice ive seen on this thread against fat people, some of the words used like disgust, appalling are words ive had to deal with all my life....yes Im fat...but as far as Im concerned if u cant see past the fat and see the person within then youre not WORTH my knowing you.
Sorry it may seem a little harsh, but noone who comes on here would be considered "normal" in society and i had hoped that here i would be accepted for who i am not what i look like.....perhaps i was naive...looks like i was

blythe spirit

10-20-2008, 06:57 AM

i dont want to change the thread and i agree with this comment, but why is it that people dont think it mean to make mean remarks about skinny people! it should work both ways.
i didnt post as bluntly as i could have in regards to my feelings re ''fat'' because i didnt want to offend anyone but i noticed that many dont have a problem with referring to people as bony skinny twigs,thin as a rail etc

That's you, icey, just being you. However, I have seen the terrible ridicule and abuse that obese people have to go through. And it's not too nice. Programs have been produced that show how people who are overweight are terrorized by others.

On the other hand, most people, who are extremely thin are not subject to that same ridicule. A glance or an omg might be expressed, but it's more discreet. Meaning they don't throw garbage and rocks at them, whilst name-calling.

lol and even if unspoken, you're still thinking it.

jezabel

10-20-2008, 07:02 AM

ive had this abuse, from many people, even on here believe it or not, just goes to prove that prejudice will rear its ugly head anywhere

icey

10-20-2008, 10:54 AM

yea and its so f****g wrong! i have a friend who is the same height as me weighs over 12 stone more than me ...yes she's a very big girl.. and you know surprisingly she gets less remarks about her size than i do! all the time she goes on at me about being skinny etc (i wish lol) and believe me she can be very nasty about it friend or no friend! yet never ever have i once said anything about her body size and never would, i have other friends and relations who do the same too but i never say anything to them, i wouldnt want to hurt them.

to answer your question missconfused my avatar is me (unfortunately lol) and i think some other peoples are too, so i guess their body does approach their avatar :)

MissConfused

10-20-2008, 11:13 AM

The only people who "talk" to me about my size are my sisters and my mother.
No one else seems to be concerned about it, not even my hubby.
As everyone has said thus far it is what you think and do with your body that determines your beauty.
My godmother weighs over 200 lbs and is only five feet tall yet she is one of the most beautiful women I know.

MissConfused

10-20-2008, 11:15 AM

p.s. to icey
you look like such a cute little girl I think any other avatar you would have would not be as appealing

FatherTimejr

10-20-2008, 11:32 AM

I do understand Jezabel, I hope I didn't offend by what I said, but it is how I feel and I cant apologize for it, if its fair or not. For me, very overweight people dont attract me, I cant make my body feel something it doesn't.... as for friends, colleagues and so forth? I have no problems, as people, there's no problem, as a sexual mate...well I cant help but not feel that way.

The same way that I can understand women not being attracted to me for the extra weight I carry and I cant hold that against them either.

In the end though insults throne as in really skinny or really heavy make me sick and such, is incredibly insensitive and I don t condone that by any means. But i've also learned to take those opinions and feelings with a grain of salt.

Anyways in the end with anything ive written I mean no offense to anyone, my feelings on it are ones I fee I cant help, my body feels as it does and well -shrugs- its not like I can take a wrench to a screw in my brain and tighten it to fix things.

edit: and to Icy, I'm sorry you have to go through that and it blows, stigma one way or another is unfortunates, and its amazing how many people just let the opinions built on that stigma just GO with out any moment of pause of if it makes sense

But you are who you are, there will be the assholes out there and just treat them as a grain of sand on a beach, and the ones who are the good ones treat as a gorgeous shell or a piece of beach glass. -shrugs- This goes to jezabel too.

MissConfused

10-20-2008, 11:38 AM

FathertimeJr do you think perhaps the body image you have of yourself is in your head?
I find a man sexy when he knows he is sexy and knows how to carry himself
A man trying to wear a pair of slacks several sizes too small looks like a fool
But a man who loves himself for himself and carries that with pride in his appearance and attitude is ALWAYS HOT!

FatherTimejr

10-20-2008, 11:40 AM

okay...ah well to a point it used to be, for a long time I said self-confidence issues that ive been breaking through by working on it on my own. And while im trying to lose weight thats merely for purposes of health, I like being a large man and I think of myself as a fairly handsome man, I like myself. I take pride in the clothing I wear, taking care of my hair and hygiene so on and so forth.

But at the same note I also understand that not everyone is the same, and their are people like you missconfused -smiles- who see things like that, and I love it. But I also know there are many who don't, which is fine. And I understand that, just as i'm not attracted to everyone woman I see or speak with I dont expect everyone to feel the same about me.

But I do agree that in whether I find someone attractive or not I think, now that you mention it, would be a lot of how they present themselves, and how they take care of themselves and appearance so on and so forth. An overweight woman who dresses herself like a woman half her size, i'm sorry, but will never work well with me. But yeah.

MissConfused

10-20-2008, 11:53 AM

FatherTimejr

10-20-2008, 11:55 AM

oh ive been working on that, unfortunately I have a bit of an issue as it stands that I need to seek out physical therapy for my ankle but my school schedule doesnt quite agree with that -wryly- So my working out has been put on hold. I think i'm going to get some hand held weights for at home.

As it stands im naturally fairly strong as is however.

Laila

10-20-2008, 01:39 PM

Oh cominjg in so late! But I wanna put in my two cents as well:

I am overweight myself so that is probably my own little bias.

Do I feel repelled by 'fat' or 'skinny' people?
Repelled is such a strong word, really. I thought about this and for me its not just a question of weight but of proportion. I was at the swimming pool today (lol I may be fat but I do work out) and I saw a girl that I would guess has a healthy bmi but she had odd proportions, short legs, super narrow hips, quite a stomach in comparison to the rest of her body and wide shoulders. I would never call her fat but she just had boy proportions that don't turn me on.
On the other hand there was a girl weighing considerably more but with a nice bum, beautiful round breasts a little bit of stomach... nice curves and I thought she was really beautiful.

I have to say though that this only goes up to a certain amount of weight for me - mostly because I am someone who likes pretty faces. And at some point the face tends to suffer. What I really don't like is when overweight gives a person that sluggish look, when everything about them seems slow - movement, intellect etc.

Being 'fat' myself, I am pretty conscious of how my weight affects the impression I make on people. And I always had to work against that first impression. I dress smart, I wear heels, make-up, nice hair. I just try to make a point of not letting myself go and stay sharp. Lol sub-pride.

As to skinny people - its basically the same. I cannot say that I don't like it - I personally think Keira Knightely is one of the most beautiful women in the world. To be honest I do think she is too skinny but her face is just so damn beautiful.

It's the same in men. My Master is actually a bit too skinny for my taste - if I saw him like any man on the street. But well, I don't. I love him and he's the most handsome man to me. :)

Its all about face and eyes and charisma and how one thinks about themselves. Yes, that's a clichee but its so true. I may be fat but I am confident and I know I'm pretty anyway and when I go out with friends (all skinny and pretty) I never fail to attract at least one cute guy's attention...

Having said that I do want to loose weight. For myself and because I want my Master to be proud of me. Even if he says I'm beautiful, I want to feel worthy of him. And I want to stop feeling like I always have to fight the first impression and live up to my potential - health reasons play into it as well.

jezabel

10-20-2008, 02:43 PM

jezabel

10-20-2008, 02:52 PM

ok , sorry bout my rant, but as u may have guessed i feel very strongly about this issue, all my life ive been put down by people who were supposed to support me (my mothers way to motivate me to lose weight was to call me a fat cow and stupid bitch).

we r all different and we should all accept each other as we r, in an ideal world of course, but as we dont live in an ideal world i suppose i will just have to get used to it.

a few years ago it was fine to make homophobic jokes, now its not (thank God), hopefully, people will learn to adapt their views and will realsie that fat jokes r as insensitive, especially as more and more people become obese.

sorry again

Laila

10-20-2008, 02:54 PM

"What I really don't like is when overweight gives a person that sluggish look, when everything about them seems slow - movement, intellect etc. "

And this is the type of prejudice im on about, just because im fat does NOT mean im stupid, i have a 2:1 degree in history, i have run my own business and im raising a child singlehanded, life is hectic at times but im more than capable of doing it, despite being fat.
weight does not have to be a disability, and yes i do feel strongly about this, just because im fat does not mean that a skinny person is better than me, theyre not, we r all equals in Gods eyes

Did you read my post? I never said an overweight person is stupid - ever. And I would never. I said I have a problem with it when overweight people let themselves go - intellectually and physically. Of course I have the same problem when skinny people do but when its overweight people I notice more because I AM, and I hate when this strengthens the prejudices, I know exist.

I am sorry if my post offended you but it certainly wasn't meant the way you seem to have picked it up.
I am fat myself, I am smart, too.

jezabel

10-20-2008, 03:08 PM

I am sorry if my post offended you but it certainly wasn't meant the way you seem to have picked it up.
I am fat myself, I am smart, too.

no laila, i have to apologise, i read ur comment and saw red, and i apologise if anyone else was offended

love2serve

10-20-2008, 10:37 PM

I am overweight and i suppose i give out a false impression by my avvie. However, i didnt see any on there that reflected me accurately. I always tell people if asked about my body shape, size that i am ample and certainly not skinny and surprisingly have never been ridiculed or turned away because of it - on the contrary usually guys on here say its nice for a girl to have meat on their bones. Of course that doesnt make me happy with my own body, i long to go back to the days before kids where i could turn guys heads when i walk in a room, but age is a worse enemy there than body size - lol. I am trying to do something about my size at the moment, slimming and walking alot, but that is mostly because i want to be as healthy as i can be, i owe that to my boys and husband, but having lost over 2stone since the summer, i realise that my all round happiness has improved by doing this. Dont really know how i got here in this thread, i have digressed im afraid, but as a kind of postscript to the original thread, i think personally a well covered, curvy and sexily dressed woman is infinately preferable to most men to a bag of bones who looks like she needs a good meal, thats what i have usually found anyway. Love the body you're in gals, and if you dont then change it!!

icey

10-23-2008, 12:07 PM

Iand to Icy, I'm sorry you have to go through that and it blows, stigma one way or another is unfortunates, .
thankyou, although it doesnt bother me personally it just bothers me that i have seen quite a few people hurt by those kind of comments and it makes me angry that people are so one-sided and blind sometimes.
i truly do feel bad for people who are mocked because of their body size and shape..whether they are big or small, its wrong, and something ive noticed on this thread...people are still dismissing it and saying oh but its worse cos ive seen more ''fat'' people get jeered at than thin! its not numbers that count, it's feelings!

to answer the original question this time i'll be totally honest instead of trying to be inoffensive...YES i am repelled by fat (not the people themselves which is a huge difference) ,i hate it and it scares the shit outta me...BUT before you all get on your high horses thats all i see in myself! my own fat! i have a phobia of it, and if it wasnt for the fact that people have been quite happy to post about skinny people bones being uncomfortable etc then no i wouldnt have posted.

Veridical

10-23-2008, 01:07 PM

So I'm slightly late on the topic, but I like to think it's fashionable. ;D

I'm neither repelled nor attracted to any particular body type as far as weight goes. What I am attracted to is a man who carries himself with an air of pride, something that seems to be lacking in many people. If you feel good about you, and to hell with what everyone else thinks, that's what matters. According to most BMI charts, I am overweight, and to be in my BMI for my height, you would be able to count all my ribs and I'd look sick a lot. My bone structure does not allow for BMI to be accurate for me, so instead of worrying with pounds, I worry with inches. As the old saying goes, muscle weighs more than fat by double, and to be muscled, you have to be overweight, simply because of the density of the tissue for muscle.

I do not hold prejudice for anyone, be it weight, nationality, race, or anything of the such. Do I see myself sexually being with a very obese individual? I've done it once, and it wasn't horrible. But he did not have the stamina to keep up with me. Nor could I suck his cock without being at an odd angle. So I don't suppose an obese individual is right for me, simply due to the fact that I ran circles around the individual I was with, nothing against anyone else who is obese. It's a personal preference. I do not hold it against him, either, it was just something that simply could not be helped without him working out, and he refused to do it. -Sighs.-

My avatar cannot represent me as it's two men, however, I have numerous pictures of myself in my album. I'm not afraid to admit I need to lose inches. Nor am I afraid to do something about it. 40 crunches, 20 leg lifts, 10 girly push ups, 50 toe ups(if you don't know what this is I can offer you that information), 1 mile walk, and a multitude of DDR a day, has brought my -inches- under control, but I've gained weight due to muscle. At the end of the day, though...I don't do these things for other people. I do them for me, because it's what I -want- to do.