Sadly Missing Master :-(

[His_blizzard]

I was writing this in response to a kind PM I received from a friend and I decided I should probably share it all with you as well.
With my Master gone, I have been feeling very lost lately. I didn't realize how very deep my connection was to him, in a way I have never felt before until he died. I knew it was very special, and I knew my need to serve him and have him take care of me was strong, but I never expected it to be as strong and binding as it was. I don't fit anywhere anymore. I am not vanilla, my submissive soul is too deeply ingrained now for that. But yet, the idea of serving another dominant is repugnant to me. I was a one Master submissive. And then, to ever know another "Gorean lite" man who would understand me the way that Dragon did? Well, that is just not going to happen. So, if I have been quiet and MIA, that is why. It is time to find my new place in this world and I have a lot of healing to do before that happens.
I miss Dragon so much I want to scream and cry and pound my fists and writhe in agony in a ball on the floor...and I have. But Master taught me to be strong and wise and independent. He had me learn these lessons well before he said good bye. When the raw wounds have begun to heal, I will be fine and love life again. But for now if I am quiet or not around much, I am sure you can understand.
I love you, my friends. You are always here for me and I am so very grateful. Thank you all................... ***HUGS*** ~bliss~

[Aussiegirl1]

Oh, I feel your loss so much through your words. It is only natural for you to feel lost and upset ( and any other emotion you might feel). It is important to feel those emotions - and to cry, scream, yell - to do whatever you need to do.

It will take time, and while you will always miss him, you will also remember the good times too. You will know you were loved and the love will remain with you always.

[fetishdj]

*hug*

[crazy_grrluk]

My dearest blizz,

I am so sorry I have only just found out about Dragon. Both mine and S1's heart reaches out to you and his family.

But stay strong and know that he is always watching over you and still loving you

big hugs

cg and S1

[suchaminx]

blizz - ~HUGS~

take your time, don't put yourself under any pressure- just be you and I know we will all be here for you to laugh, cry, sob, vent whatever you want

~hugs~ minxy xx

[denuseri]

what delia said x infinity

hugs and kissess blizz, we who are your friends are here to support you any way we can

my prayers go forth with you every day

your place in our hearts and minds will allways shine with brillance

the place for you here at our table is allways set and ready for you

[thrall]

Big Hugs

thrall

[Warbaby1943]

I feel so badly for you. Stay close to all here. Hugs

[caligirl{Rob}]

My dearest blizz,
You continue to be such a strong force even in your silence. The bond you two shared was undeniable, in the least it was ever evident in the way you carry yourself and your constant and truthful respect you showed your Dragon and your relationship. I find the tears well up again as they have so often, yes time is a great healer, but it shall never erase the part of your soul perhaps your very core that was and will always be His. In rereading your signature I have no doubt you my dear, strong friend will again find your place, it will be different as you are forever changed by the gift of your Dragon...He would never have chosen to leave but I know as He reluctantly said goodbye He did so knowing that He was not leaving you entirely, that His wisdom and strength, His laughter, His guidance and support would always be in your heart. In your absence you are always here, in your silence we hear your pain, in your grief we join to comfort you. Your place in this world will always, no matter what you discover on your journey, be one of a wonderful, strong, example to us all. My prayers and thoughts are for your wounds to heal, and that the scars left behind bring you joy in knowing that He is always with you and standing with you in your place.
loving hugs!
cali and MR

[tessa]

Thinking of you as you search for your place in the world...

tessa

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

Blizzard, please take as much time as you need to grieve and mourn your loss. Everyone grieves in his/her own way. W/we are A/all here for you whenever you need U/us. I wish that I had been able to meet Dragon before He left on His last journey. He sounded like such a wonderful, caring person. W/we A/all understand that you need time alone and will be MIA for awhile. Take all the time that you need. W/we will be waiting for your return to U/us, however long that will take. I'm sending you lots of hugs and good vibes your way.

[Euryleia]

My heart goes out to you during this time.

You may not be ready to hear this but please don't shutter yourself away, thinking that you will never find another Master. You are right--you can't replace someone so unique. However, that doesn't mean that someday, when your heart and mind are ready, that you won't find someone else who can master you in a different, yet fullfilling way. The best thing you can do is live your life as Dragon would have wanted you to do.

[His_blizzard]

Your posts give me comfort and I thank you all for you love and support. *HUG* blizz

[Alex Bragi]

*hugs* I'm so very sorry.

[ashtonDs]

Nothing I say can add anything of substance to what already has been said, so I won't try.

I can only send my thoughts and prayers.

[WyldWyl]

We'll miss you, sweetie. But I think I speak for all of us when we say we have every hope and faith you'll need to steer you safe through this- you are and ever have been a strong and amazing woman.

All the best, blizz. -hugs-

[~faerie~]

"love is a tear that falls from the eye
it is a memory that will never die"

Im just sending my hugs and love.

[alpha_Straye]

... im so sorry for your loss...*sigh*

[Pertez]

Big Hugs
Thinking of you !

[Widget]

I am so sorry to hear this, my thoughts are with you

[Logic1]

Loss of a dear one hurts badly. All I can do is offer my shoulder for a big warm comforting hug and that is what Ill do.
*HUUG*!

[Arria]

*hugs*
I think Pro Dom´s idea is wonderful.
I understand what you say about being a "one-master-sub" very well. My hubby is my first and only BDSM relationship, and since I got together with him, all other men I met either disgust or just bore me. I would not know what to do if I lost him, either. Even if I ever went looking again (and I doubt it very much), it would take a huge amount of time, I think.
*hugs again*

[denuseri]

it was simply wonderful seeing yu in chat today blizz, hugs and kissess,

i completely understand how you can never have another like your Dragon

they broke the mold when they made both of you

[Rowen]

it was simply wonderful seeing yu in chat today blizz, hugs and kissess,

i completely understand how you can never have another like your Dragon

they broke the mold when they made both of you

Just reading this, after your post in my thread..
Denu, wonderfull said..

[His_blizzard]

You know if I were you I would sit down with a journal and write down all of the wonderful memories about Him. .

Thank goodness that I have journaled since the day Master and I met in real life. A sub friend suggested it, and later on Master ordered it. I did not journal after he was diagnosed, but those months are inbedded in my mind forever anyway.
The problem is that I think it is too soon to read them now. But your suggestion is excellent and someday they will give me great confort, many smiles, and yes, tears along the way as well. But isn't that what true love is all about? Thank you for your advice and support. "Peace" ~blizz~

[cadence]

You know I seriously avoided this thread because it brought up too many bad memories for me.
I know that my brother and your Master are two separate entities and we both have had different experiences from our losses, but it was too painful to even respond to you.
I know what you are going through to a certain degree, I think that while we both have different pains, the pain is still the same regardless.
I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you, I feel very badly for your loss.
I know how it feels, even though it is different for you than it is for me.
I would love nothing more than to move on and lessen the pain I feel, but it is so very difficult to do.
When my sister passed away, someone recommended a book "The Pain of Bereavement, You'll Get Over It", I didn't purchase it then, but I have now. It is supposed to be a good book to learn how to get over the raw painful anger that you might be feeling.

We all greive at different times, in different ways, I am glad you can find solace here.
I wish you only the best of things to come, you deserve that.

[John56{vg}]

Blizz my dear,

I am SOOO sorry and I am so sorry I am just hearing about it. I wish for you peace and contentment.

You have my prayers, my thoughts and my condolences. I know you have so many that love you and will be there for you, But if you want another shoulder to cry on you have it. And I feel that Dragon is watching over you as well.

Peace and Love,

John

[Dea Menrfa]

Blizz... I have no words... but you know I am here for you. (((Hugs)))

[Borgs_slave]

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the feelings you have right now. Take time for yourself to grieve, scream and cry.

[angelic.zest]

HUGSSS blizzzz

[dewran59]

^ Huggss^

[Ronn]

I read your post and had a tear roll down my cheek. My heart goes out to you blizz in all that you do and I hope that you know how much your friends will always care for and love you. Though it is hard please be strong. A soft kiss for your beautiful cheek and a very strong huggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

[Warbaby1943]

I wish you well bliz. I understand it has to be rough but know you are in the prayers of many.

[angelic.zest]

More hugs Blizz hUggggssss

[sardis]

You don't cry unless you've been happy first.

Tears always mean something envious......

[cookiecat]

I have been struggling with some issues in my life and reading your post has put them in perspective. Please know that sharing your thoughts have touched others in a profound way. Thank you for sharing in such a difficult time.

I'm waving my magic wand to take away your pain and heartache, leaving only the wonderful memories. Take the very best care.

[His_blizzard]

I have been struggling with some issues in my life and reading your post has put them in perspective. Please know that sharing your thoughts have touched others in a profound way. Thank you for sharing in such a difficult time.

I'm waving my magic wand to take away your pain and heartache, leaving only the wonderful memories. Take the very best care.

That was awesome and a great comfort. Thank You ~blizz~

[Chuckdom19]

Blizz, dear lady;

You are going through one of the toughest things anyone has to face, and it sounds as though you have made a wonderful start.

Someday, you may find your feelings may change. Until and if, be patient and try to keep an open mind.

All my love to you in your time of distress... and hopeful of continuing recovery.

Hugs!

[Flaming_Redhead]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Blizz. I've always admired you for being as strong and determined as you are to follow your heart no matter where it leads. *BIG HUGE HUG*

[_ID_]

This may not seem like it applies to you now, but I will tell you for later.


Time and the heart are two things that are impossible to nail down in how they will effect you later. You may need a year, you may need ten before you are healed enough to even consider a relationship of any kind once again. It may happen never. What I do know is that as you heal, and as you let the lessons your Master taught you guide you, you will find happiness once again. With someone or not, who knows.

Let time show your heart the path to healing, and eventual happiness. Till then, remember the good times you had with him. Remember everything, the smells, the touch, the laughs, the tears.

I wish you all the best, and I have faith that you will find what your heart will seek.

[Diablo]

I am so sorry for your lose. Knowing a pain like this, I lost my 2 year old son 6 years ago, feel free to PM if you want to chat.

[wingsofanangel]

Blizz,

I've gone away as I tend to do (because I never stay in one place long) but I do stop by and check things out. I read of the news of Dragon and I feel so terrible for your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through, so I won't tell you I understand. I did want to give you something though. I'm not exactly witty or great with words, hey, I'm not a hallmark card, BUT, I do love music.

Music has always been my greatest comfort and my crutch. So I've recorded you a song. Maybe this is uncalled for or you may hate it, but I wanted to do it, so I hope you do not mind. I am not trained in singing and don't claim to be great, but I am going to be brave and post it, even though there are quite a few cracks and some nasally bits because I was a little emotional...

I hope that in some way you may find the comfort you so need.

Know that you are loved .

-A

http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/642941

(p.s. please if you do want to leave a comment do not do so on that page, as vanilla people (family) read it and well.. yeah... )

[His_blizzard]

[QUOTE=wingsofanangel;694758]Blizz,
Music has always been my greatest comfort and my crutch. So I've recorded you a song. Maybe this is uncalled for or you may hate it, but I wanted to do it, so I hope you do not mind. I am not trained in singing and don't claim to be great, but I am going to be brave and post it, even though there are quite a few cracks and some nasally bits because I was a little emotional...

I hope that in some way you may find the comfort you so need.

Know that you are loved .

-A
QUOTE]

Thank you so much for the gift of your beautiful song! I cannot believe that you took the time to do something so amazing for a stranger. You have a lovely voice and the song gave me comfort. I just returned from our home in Minnesota after 2 weeks of packing up what I wanted to keep, estate selling what I couldn't keep and getting the house on the market. It was a sad time, but it had to be done. Coming home to these posts and particularly your song was wonderful. Thank you sweetie. *HUG* ~blizz~

[wingsofanangel]

Wasn't sure if it was even wanted, but music is my comfort, so there you have it.

Anyway, I'm again sorry to hear of the pain you're going through. I wish I had something more to say. I'm not sure if you're religious or not, but in my heart I truely believe you'll have the chance to see him again someday. Until then, I hope your heart finds a way to atleast patch up a bit.

Much love Blizz and compassion, you deserve nothing less, you have always been an amazing and sweet person to everyone here.

-Wings