A question for the female dommes

[woodsman'sgame]

"Normal" human intercourse (as I have stated somewhere else in this forum) requires the woman to assume a submissive position and the act itself has a semblance of violence. For the male to achieve orgasm he must thrust hard and fast into the female. For me it is very hard to feel dominant when I am on the receiving end of this thrusting. How do you deal with intercourse with your sub? How do you maintain the dominance during this submissive act other than being on top (it balances it out some for the female to be on top but you are still being penetrated)?

I am a sub and have thought about switching. Woodsman has never let me try for longer than a few minutes (5 at the most), so I don't have any real experience. I am interested, however, and may write a story in this vein in the future. It will have to be strictly fantasy though.

PS. I meant to post this in the forum "My BDSM life." This is my first new thread, and I didn't do it correctly obviously. Help, please, moderators. :confused:

[Lord Douche]

Thread moved from General Talk to My BDSM Life

LD

[woodsman'sgame]

Thank you, Lord Douche.

[ValKyrie]

For me, Dominance during intercourse has little to do with the physical connection between our bodies, but rather, is all about that mental connection.

I remain in control as it is up to me if he cums, when he cums, how he cums and where he cums. I also determine the rythm speed and intensity of our intercourse. Further, I may give him directions, use some of my "pet" names for him or otherwise remind him about who is in control.

[drake7]

The missionary position, which I think is what you are talking about, is no more 'normal' than any other position- and quite a bit less normal than some. So if I were you I wouldn't get hung up on that position.

Allow me to offer you some advice, however, that is universal for either male or female dominants; the orgasm- or lack thereof, is totally immaterial to the pleasure of the dominant. A good dominant, regardless of gender, uses their submissive for their own pleasure. This is how most submissives want it.

The second bit of advice I want to give you was a technique told to me by a domme friend. I am not sure if it is applicable for you but if nothing else you might find it intriguing. While having sex with her submissive she imagined she was the one who had the penis and he the vagina. So in her mind she was the one doing all the thrusting and such :D

I am not sure if that might help, but she seemed pretty happy with it.

Drake.

[Lord Thomas]

I know the question posed is to Dommes not Doms, but game have you ever considered that the vagina actually consumes the penis?

Seriously, look at sex as a violent act, yes; however, lets just turn the perspective around a bit. In the perspective you have gave us game, the male is the aggressor and the act is perpetrated by the invading penis upon and into the vagina. Which is of course true.

;) *evil grin* ;)

But "the truth is a three edged sword" (couldn't resist I love that Bab5 quote), If you just change perspective as one of an act of violence, utter violence actually. As the vagina takes and consumes the penis. The penis begins full of life, at the top of its form and power of masculinity; erect and undauntable. Then the vagina covers it, surrounds it, swallows it whole. Then the violence truly commences, the penis struggles for life and is drowned. Crushed, buried, and sucked dry as if by a vampire drawing out the very root of its male life force. The vagina departs leaving a shrinking, crippled and dying phallus in its wake.

Not that I am a Domme, but I have always had that bit of perspectives on penetration itself. I wonder if any of the Dommes out there actually would concur or deny My vision of from the other side as it were.

~LT~

[Barton]

As the vagina takes and consumes the penis. The penis begins full of life, at the top of its form and power of masculinity; erect and undauntable. Then the vagina covers it, surrounds it, swallows it whole. Then the violence truly commences, the penis struggles for life and is drowned. Crushed, buried, and sucked dry as if by a vampire drawing out the very root of its male life force. The vagina departs leaving a shrinking, crippled and dying phallus in its wake.

~LT~

:eek: That sent shudders down my spine. I may not think about having sex for the rest of my life. :eek:

Talk about a graphic image. Those words were used like a bludgeon.

Being a male I have never thought about intercourse in quite that way. But that is one way to look at it.
Barton.

[ValKyrie]

I like that perspective, Lord Thomas!

Bwahaaahaaa haaa!

:D

I have to agree with drake, also. Intercourse is about serving and pleasing me. His orgasm is an incidental happenstance and occurs only when it please Me. We like it that way.

:[

[Pickety Witch]

I have never thought of intercourse in quite that way before but it can so be true!

Thanks Lord T for that interesting turn of normal opinion!

[Katmandu]

I read something similar to that, Lord Douche, oh, about 20 or so years ago.
*laughing* I took that theory to heart, unfortunately for my male lovers. Now that I am subbing, I feel sorry for my Dom when these old thoughts permeate my brain again. I lose all discipline, and he loses control. Not good! :mad:

(However, we are both new at this; maybe someday I'll get the hang of it and trade in my training collar for a real one! -
As the vagina takes and consumes the penis.-must keep evil ideas away......!)

[Alex Bragi]

I agree completely with Valkirie, dominance is more often a state of mind than a physical force. Just because he's on top doesn't necessarily mean he's in charge, and visa versa.


"Normal" human intercourse (as I have stated somewhere else in this forum) requires the woman to assume a submissive position and the act itself has a semblance of violence. For the male to achieve orgasm he must thrust hard and fast into the female.

Well, Game, this is where I don't feel you're entirely correct.

The simplest way I've found to 'dominate' sexually is to be literally on top. Sitting astride my partner, thrusting myself down onto his penis. It's put me in complete control of how fast and hard things get, and it's not at all difficult for us both to achieve a climax. It's fun for change too -- for me to 'take him'.

Among femdom circles, I believe anal sex and/or 'milking' is what's often practiced. My understanding is anal sex is a huge turn on for a many heterosexual men -- apparently it's got something to do with the pressure it exerts on the prostate. Milking, is just what the name suggests. Usually, the male would be down on all fours, and the woman behind him, but obviously it could be fun in any position. Again, it's the attitude of the players, and not necessarily the play, that makes her the 'dominant'.

So, Woodsman might be seeing another side to you soon? :)

Alex.

[woodsman'sgame]

drake7:The missionary position, which I think is what you are talking about, is no more 'normal' than any other position- and quite a bit less normal than some. So if I were you I wouldn't get hung up on that position.

That's why i put "normal" in quotes, drake7, because it is considered normal by most people, but like you, I don't agree that it is more normal than others.

Thank you all for your most interesting replies. They give me much food for thought. I do want to remind some of you though that I was talking only about intercourse. It is easy for me to see how a female can be dominant in other ways. It is the act of having the vagina engulfing the penis (to use LT's wonderful description) that I saw as being entirely submissive.

I am sure that the fact that woodsman is almost twice my size has a lot to do with my submissive mind set too, but I see other ways of looking at the act now.

[ValKyrie]

If it helps, my input is essentially that I never feel as though I am submitting to my sub during intercourse.

As a side note, he is ten inches taller than me and has more than a few lucious pounds on me. I must admit that Dominating such a powerful man, rendering her powerless is an incredible asset to our relationship!

:[

[chameleon]

I've played both ends of the spectrum - and somewhere in the middle. I have to agree with those that pointed out that it's not about position - it's about pleasure and control. I tend to think of having intercourse as 'riding his cock' rather than 'being penetrated'.

And yes, I've heard the analogy of the penis being consumed by the vagina -- where do you think the myth of the vagina dentata came from?

Now /there/ an image to inspire shivers.... of either horror, or delight, depending on your kink.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Whether for the content of the discussion, or just for LT's startlingly descriptive humor, this thread is a must-see.

[abitbent]

This is a good read TG...

Sex (in/out/repeat) has always been a bit of a hang up for me. I have very little desire for it and i've always thought that i was sexually flawed in this way. I mean what woman would want a relationship with me if i didn't desire sex.

Looking at what Valkyrie has going on with her husband though is extremely exciting to me and i'd definitely desire that. I guess it has a lot to do with the dynamic, because i find sex itself very boring. Can you imagine being made to have sex, and at the end of it all not even knowing if you were allowed to orgasm or not? (Good Lord!) *ahem*

I guess the missionary position, for a man, does sort of put him in control, and for a hardwired malesub, control is something we not often desire. Maybe that's where my hang up is. Seems to be all about the dynamic.

That said, and i hope this thread isn't too old, but I'd love to ask, if sex took on that kind of dynamic every time, such as in Valkyrie's case, would this be sexually satisfying enough for you? I mean would you miss the man taking charge and being in control, to be sexually happy?

(Nice to see these old threads living TG, thanx for bringing them to the top)

bent