Back to work???

[caligirl{Rob}]

I am trying so very hard not to get down in the dumps again. It has been months that I have been trying to get back to work. Everyone keeps telling me to not get down, but it is getting more and more difficult. I have a bachelors degree and a brain, work my ass off to do a great job, but have been home taking care of children and elderly parents for 15 years which therefore seems to make me unemployable. (as none of that takes any skill right???) I'm trying so hard to rely on the strength and belief MR has in me, that I just need to move forward, not worry about it, go on to the next interview, but it is getting so hard. It comes from years of low self-esteem, that each time I am passed over for these jobs I feel my future being pulled away, I feel worthless and just plain down. I'm basically just venting as I don't know what else to do. Thanks for letting me rant.
cali

[Rowen]

Caligirl, for what it's worth, I do understand you. People really underestimate how important work can be, not only for the income! It is indeed a sad fact that people who have devoted themselves to their family for some time are considered unemployable...
Don't know how this is in California, but over here we have some opprtunities for them to refresh their education, perhaps that can be of help?
Believe me I know how it feels..when I finished my education there was in fact mass unemployment for doctors...still have the boxes of all the applications. Just don't let them get you down!! by your bachelors degree you show you can be trained and educated. By taking care of your family you have shown your devotion to duty, by being your master's slave also, but I wouln't mention that, lol,
Take care girl...you will find your place..even if it may take a while.

[claire]

My sympathy. I was fired almost 2 years ago. Talk about a blow to an already fragile ego. I still haven't found a new job. It can be a rough world out there. It is really hard to keep trying in the face of so much failure, but it is all we can do. Don't ask the last time I put in an application. I really need to take my own advice.

[Warbaby1943]

You know you can always rant, as you call it, here among friends.



(615)

[gemmy]

I am trying so very hard not to get down in the dumps again. It has been months that I have been trying to get back to work. Everyone keeps telling me to not get down, but it is getting more and more difficult. I have a bachelors degree and a brain, work my ass off to do a great job, but have been home taking care of children and elderly parents for 15 years which therefore seems to make me unemployable. (as none of that takes any skill right???) I'm trying so hard to rely on the strength and belief MR has in me, that I just need to move forward, not worry about it, go on to the next interview, but it is getting so hard. It comes from years of low self-esteem, that each time I am passed over for these jobs I feel my future being pulled away, I feel worthless and just plain down. I'm basically just venting as I don't know what else to do. Thanks for letting me rant.
cali

Hi hunnie; I know it's easy to say don't let it get you down because simply put; it does!

It frustrates, upsets and gives a big blow to the ego.

Sadly I think the only thing you can do is to keep at it; maybe try different approaches? Different styles of resumes or have two or three different variations of it? Some look at one thing, others may look at it entirely different. Lastly, and this is hard - try for a job you are Completely overqualified for. It's a well known fact that it's easier to get a job if you are already gainfully employed ;)

I took two years off when I had my daughter and you would think that my brains were drained from giving birth but I couldn't get a job to save my life! "Oh, you haven't worked in two years?" (frown) "Oh, you're a single mom with a young child at home?" (frown) like it would matter if I was a single mother or not, generally when a child is sick, who get's the call regardless of marital status? The Mom!

It was so so frustrating; I too am educated and intelligent with many marketable skills so I finally took an office Reception position (when normally I would be the manager of a company). I only had to work as the Receptionist for a month before someone said "What the hell are you doing in this position?" and referred me to a better job, which I got ;). I am again and have been since back in Business Management. Sometimes it just takes getting back in the scene (hehe).

Just thought maybe letting you know a different angle might work *s*

Good luck hunnie and *hugs of support*

[caligirl{Rob}]

Rowen and claire, thank you so very much for the words of encouragement. It means a lot and I do so try to work at not letting it get the best of me. MR reminds me that there are so many people looking for work, and that I will find the right fit eventually...patience He says....puzzled look, what is that! LOL...so hugs and again I have no words for all the PM's and YIMS of support. HUGS HUGS HUGS


You know you can always rant, as you call it, here among friends.



(615)

big hugs! and yes I do feel as though I am among friends!

Hugs to you mastersgem too!

After I earned my bachelors degree, I worked as an assistant for one of the top researchers doing AIDS and drug abuse research at a top university, before I made the mistake of trying to stay home and raise my children (yep takes no brains or skills for that! lol); with very little help from my husband, managed to get us through losing our home in the northridge earthquake, two years of dealing with lawyers, *m o rt ga ge companies, insurance companies, FEMA....managed to coordinate my dad's dialysis and other treatments, make sure hospitals and insurance companies got all their shit straight, saw my daughter through a long battle with anorexia and panic attacks, managed to keep things moving smoothly when my father passed away, when after 56 years of marriage my mother was faced with dealing with so much she had never had to give a second thought, (not because she wasn't capable but because He handled it all so well for us) have seen her through colon surgeries, abdominal hernia surgeries, again managed all of the home nursing care arrangements, insurance, banking issues, developed and helped run a successful marketing campaign for an insurance agent, worked recently part time seasonal to bring one of only two offices in the district to 100% compliance in office procedures during the end of season audits...but they look at the time without punching a time clock as though I have had my thumbs up my ass, and I am not capable of answering a phone or filing a folder.

HUGS so I am just in this god what do I do now phase I suppose. I appreciate everyone's kind and supportive words, and the intellectual part of my brain knows to keep going, but emotionally I feel like I it would be nice if the world would swallow me up.

cali

[Thorne]

try for a job you are Completely overqualified for. It's a well known fact that it's easier to get a job if you are already gainfully employed ;)

Great advice here! My dad did the same thing: applied for a factory job but was told repeatedly that he was overqualified. Kept bugging them until they finally took him on just to shut him up! Within six months he was managing a department.

Perseverance is the key. Try to establish some kind of relationship with a personnel department for a place where you would like to work and let them know, repeatedly, that you'll take any job they have, even if you're overqualified.

[caligirl{Rob}]

Great advice here! My dad did the same thing: applied for a factory job but was told repeatedly that he was overqualified. Kept bugging them until they finally took him on just to shut him up! Within six months he was managing a department.

Perseverance is the key. Try to establish some kind of relationship with a personnel department for a place where you would like to work and let them know, repeatedly, that you'll take any job they have, even if you're overqualified.

Hugs and thanks but is pretty much my point, would take a job sweeping floors basically...gave up awhile ago applying for what I was qualified or new I could do if given the opportunity...but thanks anyhow

[Arria]

Caligirl, do not worry, it´s not a matter of 15 years. I faced the same shitty questions after staying home for 2 years with my new kid (and I had very good marks at school before that, except in Maths *coughs*).
One question I heard when I was looking for an apprenticeship: "Do you believe you are still able to learn, after 2 years at home?" At this interview, I gave the guy a piece of my mind, and left. HONEST!

My advice would be: Do not apply straight away for a regular work contract. Go to the temporary agencies, and do 2 or 3 temp jobs. If you do them well, it will be a LOT easier to find a regular contract again! Just _show_ and _prove_ you are still able to work - it works so much better than _telling_ them.

Sad as it is, potential employers don´t ask for what you have once been, but what you _are_ at present...

And the idea that stay-at-home people go braindead within weeks or at best months is a stereotype that sadly does not die.

Keep trying!

Oh, and something very important which also proved very helpful to me: Seek out a professional and show him your application papers. Let him advise you on how to better present yourself. It can make a HUGE difference if people like your papers!
In fact - if the application letter sucks, the potential employers will not even bother to look at your qualifications.

Apart from that, I agree 100 % with everything that mastersgem said!

And, in my present position (PA to the Managing Directors at a Real Estate company), I get to see and reply to a huge load of job applications. Here is some advice I retrieved from this:
1. Apply for jobs in which you have already had some (no matter how short!) experience. Hardly anyone is willing to hire an employee who is completely foreign to the business. Part of this is because the employee may find out the business is NOT what he had imagined it to be, and leaves, which makes the whole hiring process start over again...
2. NEVER apply for several positions at the same company at the same time! It makes you look desperate.
Which leads to:
3. NEVER appear to be desperate / in need of money! (Duhhh, everyone works for the money, it´s just not a good idea to show it.) At best, that keeps your chances low; at worst, it might get you a job with a shitty salary because your employer thinks you will be so glad to have a job that you will accept any contract, no matter how bad.
4. I cannot emphasize enough what mastersgem said: It is far easier to get a better job if you are already employed!
And at least around here, everybody will understand that you want to get out of temporary assignments and have a real / longer contract - at least here, the temporary agency gets half your salary!

[Rowen]

After I earned my bachelors degree, I worked as an assistant for one of the top researchers doing AIDS and drug abuse research at a top university, before I made the mistake of trying to stay home and raise my children (yep takes no brains or skills for that! lol); with very little help from my husband, managed to get us through losing our home in the northridge earthquake, two years of dealing with lawyers, *m o rt ga ge companies, insurance companies, FEMA....managed to coordinate my dad's dialysis and other treatments, make sure hospitals and insurance companies got all their shit straight, saw my daughter through a long battle with anorexia and panic attacks, managed to keep things moving smoothly when my father passed away, when after 56 years of marriage my mother was faced with dealing with so much she had never had to give a second thought, (not because she wasn't capable but because He handled it all so well for us) have seen her through colon surgeries, abdominal hernia surgeries, again managed all of the home nursing care arrangements, insurance, banking issues, developed and helped run a successful marketing campaign for an insurance agent, worked recently part time seasonal to bring one of only two offices in the district to 100% compliance in office procedures during the end of season audits...but they look at the time without punching a time clock as though I have had my thumbs up my ass, and I am not capable of answering a phone or filing a folder.

HUGS so I am just in this god what do I do now phase I suppose. I appreciate everyone's kind and supportive words, and the intellectual part of my brain knows to keep going, but emotionally I feel like I it would be nice if the world would swallow me up.

cali


Somehow that sounds like an excellent CV to me!! But I know...it can get to you. Knowing you have skills and can prove it, yet nobody seems to notice.

[Flaming_Redhead]

After I earned my bachelors degree, I worked as an assistant for one of the top researchers doing AIDS and drug abuse research at a top university, before I made the mistake of trying to stay home and raise my children (yep takes no brains or skills for that! lol); with very little help from my husband, managed to get us through losing our home in the northridge earthquake, two years of dealing with lawyers, *m o rt ga ge companies, insurance companies, FEMA....managed to coordinate my dad's dialysis and other treatments, make sure hospitals and insurance companies got all their shit straight, saw my daughter through a long battle with anorexia and panic attacks, managed to keep things moving smoothly when my father passed away, when after 56 years of marriage my mother was faced with dealing with so much she had never had to give a second thought, (not because she wasn't capable but because He handled it all so well for us) have seen her through colon surgeries, abdominal hernia surgeries, again managed all of the home nursing care arrangements, insurance, banking issues, developed and helped run a successful marketing campaign for an insurance agent, worked recently part time seasonal to bring one of only two offices in the district to 100% compliance in office procedures during the end of season audits...but they look at the time without punching a time clock as though I have had my thumbs up my ass, and I am not capable of answering a phone or filing a folder.

What's wrong with saying you have experience as a child care provider, legal aide, medical assistant, accountant, campaign manager, compliance officer....?

[caligirl{Rob}]

Nothing wrong at all, and believe me I do my best to showcase my skills, but seems if there has not been a paycheck and a timeclock they don't consider it experience....sighs.

[annie]

I run into that all the time as well Cali. Because i managed hotels for years and then had a family i apparently lost my brain when i gave birth to the twins. While i admit the brain is a bit slow some days it isn't because i can't do something it's because of all of the information crammed into it! And I think Red's point was to give the years you stayed home official "job" names. Such as I am not a stay at home mom... but a domestic engineer, event coordinator, marketing manager, etc.

Actually a few years ago when asked for salary requirements for a position i listed everything i had been paid and when i got to the time with my family i listed "Stay at home parent.... priceless." Actually got a good job for my honesty and sense of humor because that comment showed the value I placed on what i did and not the value that OTHERS placed on it. It is all the perception. My husband thought i was insane when i listed my time as a stay at home parent on my resume and clearly stated in my cover letter that i wanted to go back to work for ABC after having raised the kids but i wanted people to know that i valued that time and even if they didn't that didn't make me "less" of a person but more so for sticking to my values, principals, etc. I also addressed the issue of why i was applying for a job i was overqualified for then too, so everyone knew. If you are dealing with an old fashioned boy's club atmosphere then that won't help but if you are working with a progressive company who knows. I have actually been surprised at some of the interviews i have gotten due to that.

Also, as a way to get to know more people past an interview.... join the local chamber of commerce or something and go to their meetings and socials. As you meet people let them know you are looking, what your skills are, etc. A friend of mine got a job that way and basically that is how i got my last two jobs. Through friends i had at the CoC that knew me and my skills.

Now a days it is all about networking... from volunteering on high end boards to joining the CoC. Making the contacts that you need for an application. Nothing makes a better impression, even it is volunteer work, then to have someone say "Oh yeah I know her... she just headed up ABC (or helped with ABC or did ABC) and it was a great project. I would definitely hire her."

And it might help boost the self esteem in the process. I know it did for me.

And Cali... one final thing. If you are getting to the interview process and that is where it ends. Don't necessarily assume, unless you have asked, that it is about experience that you weren't hired. All the rejection letters say that but it could be something else. Call and ask them for specifics as to why and how they feel you could improve. Maybe your interview skills are just a bit rusty.

[jeanne]

Oh cali - I'm sorry I missed this thread when you first posted! I have no new advice - everyone has given you great ideas - I only want to say good luck and that no matter what, I think you're awesome. :)