sardis
07-23-2008, 07:54 PM
We joined this site a month ago and it feels like coming home.
So...to our new friends......
Help.
How do I know if it's in my nature to be a dom ?
I'm married to what I think is a submissive. She gives to me. I love that (who wouldn't). I want to give to her.
I would never emotionally hurt her. We played with the D/s scene before we married (8 yrs ago)...but up until recently had given up (why ???) on scene play.
If I was really dominant would I have given up on scene play ?
I feel like I now calculate what dominant behavior would most please my sub.....(is that submissive giving ?)
But the problem is..this works up to a point...and this was always so..to the point where in the scene something almost uncontrollable take over...and it's no longer what I want to give to make my sub happy..all I want to do is take from her..take total control..and I mean total control..I feel it's dangerous..I find it very hard to articulate..it;s a feeling of crushing her into me...to make us one..not two....I don't have the right words....but I know at this point I have the ability to hurt her physically..and we've takled about this...and we have our safe words...but.....
So I go from this feeling of (calculating) Dom to a feeling of total dominance.
Is that Dom nature...isn't a Dom always a Dom ? Can you pick and choose when/how/what ?
If I'm a Dom would' I already know the answers to my own questions..?
Or is the sub always in control...is it always the sub that allows the Dom to take control ?
Or is it a question of need... who needs it most ?
Who turns the cheek ?
Sardis
So...to our new friends......
Help.
How do I know if it's in my nature to be a dom ?
I'm married to what I think is a submissive. She gives to me. I love that (who wouldn't). I want to give to her.
I would never emotionally hurt her. We played with the D/s scene before we married (8 yrs ago)...but up until recently had given up (why ???) on scene play.
If I was really dominant would I have given up on scene play ?
I feel like I now calculate what dominant behavior would most please my sub.....(is that submissive giving ?)
But the problem is..this works up to a point...and this was always so..to the point where in the scene something almost uncontrollable take over...and it's no longer what I want to give to make my sub happy..all I want to do is take from her..take total control..and I mean total control..I feel it's dangerous..I find it very hard to articulate..it;s a feeling of crushing her into me...to make us one..not two....I don't have the right words....but I know at this point I have the ability to hurt her physically..and we've takled about this...and we have our safe words...but.....
So I go from this feeling of (calculating) Dom to a feeling of total dominance.
Is that Dom nature...isn't a Dom always a Dom ? Can you pick and choose when/how/what ?
If I'm a Dom would' I already know the answers to my own questions..?
Or is the sub always in control...is it always the sub that allows the Dom to take control ?
Or is it a question of need... who needs it most ?
Who turns the cheek ?
Sardis