craven
08-02-2008, 02:42 PM
Domming from the bottom or topping from below
Well I never thought that I would be posting so soon after my last thread, “Craven’s Shopping Trip”. But then I suppose I have a tolerance to Cravens Smart Ass mouth, so am used to his smart backchat, read into that what you will…….
First off I have to apologise to Violett whom I lunched with today, about 30 minutes later than perhaps she had planned.
For those that know Craven well you will know that out of working hours, time and he are but distant strangers, I work on the principal that if it is not work related then the minute hand is really not that important in time keeping, in fact this has been know to drift over into hour hand territory!
I realised that as I climbed out of the shower at 12:25 the chances of me making it to Violett some 15 miles and several windy road connected villages away by 12:30, were pretty slim, well my only chance depended on there having been a flux capacitor fitted to my car during the night, alas this was not so, my car remained unmodified.
So sorry Violett, hope you enjoyed the lunch when we did finally got to eat it.
Now I know you will be eager to get to the meat of my post so to speak, well to be fair to my Miss it was more a generic assignment, hence the decision to post publicly (Hers obviously not mine, although I of course feel that it is a very, very good decision, goes without saying, I might have a smart ass mouth but I “aint” stupid!)
To set the scene, My Miss was discussing some recent good news, I was congratulating her on her success, she then as only women seem able (realises that this is sweeping statement and likely to cause uproar, however in the interests of equality craven will address this later so read on) we went from back slapping and congratulations to “of course it will end in failure at the next step”, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory so to speak, as only women seem truly adept at doing, there seems to be a love of most things negative, which maybe explains there love os us men, who knows, I will throw it out there?
Well craven felt that it was his duty, as well as his desire to boost Miss’s moral, to provide her with that often welcomed (so he thought, oh how wrong he was to be proven!) boost and reassurance.
Now I hasten to add here, in the sake of fairness as well as in an attempt to mitigate any future resulting punishments coming my way. I was in the wrong here, this is not an attempt to provide any excuses for my actions, My message was it could be argued a well timed one and more than justified, however my method of delivery was well let’s just say less than appropriate, in fact it is harder to think of anything less inappropriate in fact, other than maybe Freddie Kruger taking up child minding perhaps. Nothing could have been more inappropriate, ill judged or simply flawed.
Rather than offering her my body to beat so as to lift her from her gloom, or offering kindly words of encouragement (and here comes the redress ladies) craven did as most men often do and operated his mouth before fully engaging brain and promptly managed to insert his foot straight into his wide open gob, scoring a spectacular own goal in the process. (Balance restored me thinks there)
As I have said being a sub is not natural to me, I am a switch, although I am a very poor sub within a Ds relationship, my Miss is very patient and I appreciate this greatly. She has taught me a lot and I have grown as a person and also a prospective Dom from her tutelage.
So rather that seeking to please and reassure my Miss as a good sub would do, craven’s old Dom tendencies surfaced and I attempted to Dom my Miss from beneath, how, well this is irrelevant, as is really the intent, or my awareness of this action.
My Miss was very quick to identify what I had done, well attempted to do really, perhaps even before I did and she soon restored the balance of power (I say balance I mean obviously as in back towards her favour)
A severe reprimand was soon issued and craven was left in no doubt as to the error of his ways, and the possible ramifications of allowing such behaviour to continue. A suitable punishment was also meted out, as you will see from reading this post, as this is indeed the said punishment.
You see not only is it disrespectful to your Dom (me) to attempt to or even unintentionally Dom from beneath/top from the bottom but it is also potential very dangerous if not corrosive and ruinous to your overall relationship with your Dom(me).
We all of us I am sure agree that there is a need to test boundary’s, to push against our limits and the imposed parameters of our relationships. I know of many subs that do so as the resulting enforcing of these limits and parameters results in them finding reassurance in the knowledge of their existence.
From this they obtain comfort and subsequently their joy in their submission, to allow these limits to be eroded or pushed back will in effect result in the Dom losing his or her control of the relationship, the balance of power will be redistributed, and the submissive who had found reassurance and happiness in knowing that their boundary’s were still being enforced will find them selves less and less comfortable in taking back their power, and in not knowing where the boundary’s and parameters of the relationship now exist.
You see, that it is in both party’s interests to maintain the power ratio, to retain the Dom(me)s control and respect. If this is lost, it is not only the Dom(me) who loses out, the sub will also eventually find them self without the control that they need and seek.
In this the needs of the relationship are equally matched, it is the same with tasks and instructions from one’s Dom(me) failure to do as instructed is in effect only cheating oneself, once this respect begins to become eroded the fabric of the power balance starts to unravel.
Yes the Dom(me) expects/demands respect and adherence to this and their control of the relationship, however it is in the self-interest of the sub to adhere, and not seek to undermine.
My Miss was well within her rights to quickly address my behaviour, I wrote this in this way so as to help you see that although some may have seen my infringement as well meaning, or minor, the potential repercussions for our ongoing relationship could have been seriously undermined had my actions first of all not been identified by My Domma, and then subsequently, however well meaning they might have been addressed and punished.
As with all of craven’s posts I would welcome your thoughts, comments and feedback.
To summarise I am now aware that whilst I always knew that Domming from beneath was potentially not a positive thing, failure to address this instantly WILL have longer lasting negative impact upon the Ds dynamic.
Come on guy’s feedback?
Well I never thought that I would be posting so soon after my last thread, “Craven’s Shopping Trip”. But then I suppose I have a tolerance to Cravens Smart Ass mouth, so am used to his smart backchat, read into that what you will…….
First off I have to apologise to Violett whom I lunched with today, about 30 minutes later than perhaps she had planned.
For those that know Craven well you will know that out of working hours, time and he are but distant strangers, I work on the principal that if it is not work related then the minute hand is really not that important in time keeping, in fact this has been know to drift over into hour hand territory!
I realised that as I climbed out of the shower at 12:25 the chances of me making it to Violett some 15 miles and several windy road connected villages away by 12:30, were pretty slim, well my only chance depended on there having been a flux capacitor fitted to my car during the night, alas this was not so, my car remained unmodified.
So sorry Violett, hope you enjoyed the lunch when we did finally got to eat it.
Now I know you will be eager to get to the meat of my post so to speak, well to be fair to my Miss it was more a generic assignment, hence the decision to post publicly (Hers obviously not mine, although I of course feel that it is a very, very good decision, goes without saying, I might have a smart ass mouth but I “aint” stupid!)
To set the scene, My Miss was discussing some recent good news, I was congratulating her on her success, she then as only women seem able (realises that this is sweeping statement and likely to cause uproar, however in the interests of equality craven will address this later so read on) we went from back slapping and congratulations to “of course it will end in failure at the next step”, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory so to speak, as only women seem truly adept at doing, there seems to be a love of most things negative, which maybe explains there love os us men, who knows, I will throw it out there?
Well craven felt that it was his duty, as well as his desire to boost Miss’s moral, to provide her with that often welcomed (so he thought, oh how wrong he was to be proven!) boost and reassurance.
Now I hasten to add here, in the sake of fairness as well as in an attempt to mitigate any future resulting punishments coming my way. I was in the wrong here, this is not an attempt to provide any excuses for my actions, My message was it could be argued a well timed one and more than justified, however my method of delivery was well let’s just say less than appropriate, in fact it is harder to think of anything less inappropriate in fact, other than maybe Freddie Kruger taking up child minding perhaps. Nothing could have been more inappropriate, ill judged or simply flawed.
Rather than offering her my body to beat so as to lift her from her gloom, or offering kindly words of encouragement (and here comes the redress ladies) craven did as most men often do and operated his mouth before fully engaging brain and promptly managed to insert his foot straight into his wide open gob, scoring a spectacular own goal in the process. (Balance restored me thinks there)
As I have said being a sub is not natural to me, I am a switch, although I am a very poor sub within a Ds relationship, my Miss is very patient and I appreciate this greatly. She has taught me a lot and I have grown as a person and also a prospective Dom from her tutelage.
So rather that seeking to please and reassure my Miss as a good sub would do, craven’s old Dom tendencies surfaced and I attempted to Dom my Miss from beneath, how, well this is irrelevant, as is really the intent, or my awareness of this action.
My Miss was very quick to identify what I had done, well attempted to do really, perhaps even before I did and she soon restored the balance of power (I say balance I mean obviously as in back towards her favour)
A severe reprimand was soon issued and craven was left in no doubt as to the error of his ways, and the possible ramifications of allowing such behaviour to continue. A suitable punishment was also meted out, as you will see from reading this post, as this is indeed the said punishment.
You see not only is it disrespectful to your Dom (me) to attempt to or even unintentionally Dom from beneath/top from the bottom but it is also potential very dangerous if not corrosive and ruinous to your overall relationship with your Dom(me).
We all of us I am sure agree that there is a need to test boundary’s, to push against our limits and the imposed parameters of our relationships. I know of many subs that do so as the resulting enforcing of these limits and parameters results in them finding reassurance in the knowledge of their existence.
From this they obtain comfort and subsequently their joy in their submission, to allow these limits to be eroded or pushed back will in effect result in the Dom losing his or her control of the relationship, the balance of power will be redistributed, and the submissive who had found reassurance and happiness in knowing that their boundary’s were still being enforced will find them selves less and less comfortable in taking back their power, and in not knowing where the boundary’s and parameters of the relationship now exist.
You see, that it is in both party’s interests to maintain the power ratio, to retain the Dom(me)s control and respect. If this is lost, it is not only the Dom(me) who loses out, the sub will also eventually find them self without the control that they need and seek.
In this the needs of the relationship are equally matched, it is the same with tasks and instructions from one’s Dom(me) failure to do as instructed is in effect only cheating oneself, once this respect begins to become eroded the fabric of the power balance starts to unravel.
Yes the Dom(me) expects/demands respect and adherence to this and their control of the relationship, however it is in the self-interest of the sub to adhere, and not seek to undermine.
My Miss was well within her rights to quickly address my behaviour, I wrote this in this way so as to help you see that although some may have seen my infringement as well meaning, or minor, the potential repercussions for our ongoing relationship could have been seriously undermined had my actions first of all not been identified by My Domma, and then subsequently, however well meaning they might have been addressed and punished.
As with all of craven’s posts I would welcome your thoughts, comments and feedback.
To summarise I am now aware that whilst I always knew that Domming from beneath was potentially not a positive thing, failure to address this instantly WILL have longer lasting negative impact upon the Ds dynamic.
Come on guy’s feedback?