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Rubberwolf
08-03-2008, 04:43 PM
Atonement
Chapter 2
By
Rubberwolf
2008

Story codes: f-self, bdsm, pony, reluct, cons.

Kim sat in the rear of the helicopter that the solicitors had arranged for her, trying not to be sick. She had travelled in aeroplanes before, but there was something about the motion of this juddering, loud machine, that her stomach rebelled at. Time stretched endlessly before the pilot reported into her headset that they were approaching the island. They had been flying for about an hour across a featureless ocean.


“When Jim finds an out of the way retreat, he doesn’t do it by half,” Kim mused to herself as she peered through the glass at the grey smudge indicated by the pilot.

After about five minutes Kim began to make out detail until, eventually, she could make out the features. It was a small island, perhaps two miles square. A small beach offered a landing site and Kim could make out a dock, as well as stairs leading up a steep cliff. As the helicopter banked and rose, Kim was able to take in more detail.

The island, as far as she could tell, was covered with woodland and sported a large, colonial style house, several outbuildings around a courtyard, as well as a larger, more modern building towards the back of the house. She could also make out features that made her enforced seclusion seem more bearable. A swimming pool, tennis courts, not that she had time or inclination to invite other people at this stage. However, that would change once she had settled in. A footpath disappeared into the woods and she imagined herself jogging around the island as part of her morning regime.

The helicopter banked nauseatingly before settling at a helipad on the lawns in front of the main house and outbuildings. She stepped out of the helicopter as the rotors wound down and the pilot took her hand, advising her to watch her head, before taking her bags, at the solicitors, who she now knew to be Mr Prentice, instruction as she walked with him to the main house.

Once he had shown her the main features of the house, the remote controls for setting the pool temperature, curtains, lights, television and all the other boy toys which Jim would have insisted on and having established that the radio worked and that the compound had power, he said his farewells before heading back to the helicopter with the pilot.

The first thing that Kim did was to check the kitchen. Sure enough, there were sufficient foods to feed an army, both fresh and the longer lasting, tinned and dried varieties. A person could hide for quite some time here, Kim mused.

Kim checked the radio again and was satisfied to here a response from the girl at Mr Prentices office. Although he would call in once a week to ensure that all was well, it was still comforting to know that she could do so herself.

Having found the spacious and well appointed master bedroom that the pilot had piled her bags in, she set out to explore the house. If she had nothing else to say out Jim Star, he definitely knew how to indulge himself. A spacious gym, with all of the latest equipment, sauna, Jacuzzi, oh yes and of course fully equipped dungeon.

Kim shuddered as a memory burst into her mind as she stepped into Jims playroom. They had not been married long and, despite what he had said on the tape, it was her introduction to bondage and the person who Jim became when she was helpless, that had started to erode their relationship. She shuddered as she remembered the tight constraint of the strange leather body harness he insist she wear, along with the four inch healed stilettos, before chaining her arms above her head, so that she was stretched to the full extent that her shoes would allow. Nipple clamps and a ball gag completed the ensemble.

“Crack.”

Kim jumped as an audio memory so real caused her to feel the whip again as it snaked across her back, buttocks and legs again and again. Kims hands wandered subconsciously to her body as she mentally recounted the sudden pain that she had screamed, protesting into her gag.

Kim withdrew quickly and closed the door, choosing to loose herself in an exploratory jog around the island track that she had seen from the air, finishing up with a workout in the gym and relaxing in the Jacuzzi.

The next day, having explored the main house, Kim set out to explore some of the other buildings.

Two hours later, she discovered that they were dedicated maintenance of the grounds and building, as well as more tinned food, dried food and the like. Another building, Kim took for a stables, but closer inspection of the tack soon revealed that this was another facet of his perversions. Strange boots with no heal and horse shoes on the soles, leather body harnesses, bits and bridals, obviously designed for human use, forced her to retreat from the building.

After this, Kim returned to the house and changed into jogging bottoms and sports bra before heading off for the track. However, her run was spoilt as images of women carrying riders or pulling carriages along the track interfered with her normal calm. Kim was also surprised to find that these thoughts made her wet and excited.

Returning to the gym, Kim tried to go through her workout, but failed as images of ponygirls, the word erupted into her self conscious and, after trying it out a few times, decided that it fit the situation, continued to flash into he mind.

Admitting defeat, Kim hit the showers, cleaned off the sweat, dried, threw on a cotton dress and sandals and walked over to the stables. Picking up various items, Kim eventually found her sizes. Twenty minutes later, Kim was dressed in a leather harness which, while surrounding her bust, offered little support. A leather strap ran uncomfortably between her legs and straps at her waist, even at their smallest setting, pinched her waist uncomfortably. The boots were worse, but after several minutes, she was able to walk around comfortably in them. She also found a bit and bridle that fitted her reasonably well, as well. She also, found, after some consideration, what she thought were hoof gloves. The Velcro straps around the sides looked easy to fit and after trying with one glove fitted, decided that as long as she could make get her hands up to her mouth, even with the bit in, she could bite enough of the Velcro to take them off.

Leaving the gloves for a moment, Kim explored the back of the stable block and found what she knew to be there, a small, lightweight cart. After several moments, she saw how this could be attached to the strange D rings at her waist which had puzzled her earlier.

Returning to the stall which she had dressed in earlier, she eventually got up the courage to place the strange bit in her mouth and fasten the bridal around her head. This was a little claustrophobic at first, as blinkers limited her world to straight ahead. The bit was also a little uncomfortable, but she should be all right. Next she struggled with the clips on the reigns. A second set puzzled her, until she saw how the reigns hung to below jaw, touching her breasts. On an impulse and before she could dissuade herself, she clipped the second pair of clips, the butterfly, rather than dog style used to attach the reigns to the head harness, onto her nipples. Gritting her teeth into the bit, she the pain, initially sharp, settled down to a dull throb.

Kim stopped to puzzle why she was doing this. Had Jim been right about her after all? He would never know and id didn’t hurt for her to have a little kinky fun. After all, she was in control this time and she trusted herself a damn site more that she had trusted Jim.

Grabbing the hoof gloves she walked over to the cart, tied the reigns around one of the rails behind the seat of the small, one man craft, before testing the length and then finally clipping the carts two wooden shafts onto her body harness. Finally she attached the hoof gloves, using her limited jaw movement to pull the Velcro strap tight and fasten it around the glove. Satisfied, she set off into the war afternoon sun and, starting gradually, increased her pace until she was running along the track, pulling the carriage with more ease than she had initially thought possible.

Eventually, she returned having jogged for about six miles around the track. Only one incident marred the jog. She had taken the corner too fast and, due to the momentum of the cart, had been pushed forward before she could correct. Fortunately, she had only had to reverse herself out of some shrubs on the side of the track, but it had taught her that there was more to pulling a cart than she had considered, especially with a person on board.

Releasing her nipples from the reigns had proved painful, but she was glad that she had overcome her reservations and, she could admit it, fear. It had been like taking control again. She felt that she could now stand in the dungeon without running away screaming. In her own way, she had buried Jims more unsavoury aspects and she had actually found the experience liberating.

That night, glass at wine in hand, she eventually dared his DVD collection. As she had expected, it showed videos of his bondage sessions with his various wives, including her. There were even a few women who she didn’t recognise and had wished she had owned during divorce proceedings.

Kim slept better than she had for some time that night and got up refreshed and alive.

Venom
10-31-2008, 04:16 PM
Once more an interesting setting; I have a good feeling about the following chapters...:)

Clevernick
11-04-2008, 06:32 AM
Wow, this confused me. Kim is obsessed with visions of bondage and being bound. She puts on the ponygirl outfit and pulls the cart on her own. Okay, fine. Yet she found Jim disturbing because he becomes someone else when she's helpless. So, okay, fair enough, she likes bdsm but doesn't trust Jim as a Master.

So, logically, she accepts an invitation from Jim to an out-of-the-way place she can't escape from alone, and then walks around, alone and at his mercy, trying on bondage outfits, while she waits for him to show up?

No this is not logical. Something is very wrong here. She claims she's in control and trusting some "damned site", but this is Jim's retreat. Who else should we expect to show up?

From the editing viewpoint -- you need to go over this a few times and proofread. It looks like you've run a spellcheck, but homonyms like feat/feet, reins/reigns, and confusion of lose and loose, show that you haven't checked these things yourself yet.

When using lots of flashbacks for backstory as you do, remember that the flashbacks must be in the right tense -- not just past, but pluperfect. And similarly, when recounting the story itself, simple past is appropriate. You have them mixed up at times.

Try reading the story aloud and you'll hear the tense confusion. You may also hear overused words like "shuddered". Try it.

Keep up the good work!

Rubberwolf
11-06-2008, 01:43 PM
Thanks Clevernick,

I have, since posting, re-proofed this. Unfortunately, when I finish a story, my first instict is to post it, rather than proof it. I know, premature publication is a common complaint, but mental imagery does not seem to be working. :)

Yes the plot is obvious and, like all of the best slasher movies, if it weren't for overly trusting "Gee, I wander what that noise was, I will just go outside and investigate," type of central charactors, I feel that many of the situations posted on these sites would not come to fruition.

Anyway, I am torn between a continuation of this story, to it's obviouse conclusion, or another story line with the "Among the Missing" charactors.

Will have a play about with this story for the present. Thanks for the advice, I will attempt to step back from my work before submitting again.

Rubberwolf