Log in

View Full Version : A dark place



mighty_marc
08-07-2008, 01:09 PM
A place so dark, rock hard and cold,
Objects of steel, sharp and shiny unfold.
No voice to hear, the heart pounds loud,
It's time to feel, the mind blacks out.

You can not move, talk, nor decide,
Bound by a will that know' s what's right.
You can't defend, you can't foresee,
The flash defeated but the soul set free.

And in this width, this big dark hole
A body strong that takes control,
Who does not take but does all give,
A mind that rules, to feed your soul.

Commands that push you, make you go
They ask for much, their claim does flow.
Commands that let you steady grow,
The given course you never know.

The blows now of the whip do rain
On sweaty skin eager to take.
This pleasure I will not forsake
I give you love, through tears and pain.


Well, I do myself considder this poem which I have quickly written down for you after work as quite poor, but I can hardly produce anything better in English. Well, if it however gives only a little smile to one of you it has been worth posting it.

Shwenn
08-07-2008, 01:28 PM
I thought this was phenomenal.

The descriptions of the internal mirror the external setting and vice versa.

It makes reading it a pretty immersive experience.

I'd love to see what you do when you really work at it.

mighty_marc
08-07-2008, 11:14 PM
thank you very much for the beautiful, nice, however a little bit exaggerated comment Shwenn. :) If you have liked it, it was indeed worth to post it.