How to pick a Dom in a crowd??? [Archive]

BorderCollie

08-08-2008, 02:19 AM

AdrianaAurora

08-08-2008, 11:36 AM

I just know. I don't know how, it has nothing with me being attracted to them, I just do. Put me in a room with 100 men and I will pick the Dom ones out. Now, I don't guarantee that I will pick every single Dom in a room, but those I do pick will all definitely be Dom. I can sometimes spot them even before they become self ware.

Ozme52

08-08-2008, 12:36 PM

I just look for the arse who was hitting on the subs before I arrived.

LMAO

MstrJohnJ

08-08-2008, 01:40 PM

you mean I've been wearing this silly hat for nothing?

BorderCollie

08-08-2008, 09:52 PM

i just look for the arse who was hitting on the subs before i arrived.

Lmao

rotfl

Ozme52

08-08-2008, 10:02 PM

you mean I've been wearing this silly hat for nothing?

LOL,

Great avatar John.

denuseri

08-08-2008, 11:19 PM

first of all he will no look away when i am stealing glances in his direction, and i will feel like blushing

secondly my virginia will ussually let me know to check with munber one cuz i will be slopping wet

AdrianaAurora

08-09-2008, 06:46 AM

first of all he will no look away when i am stealing glances in his direction, and i will feel like blushing

Nice to know I am not only one. Its weird really (good weird?), after years together a look can still make me blush. (While not extrovert) I am far from shy, so then I blush out of embarrassment because He had made me blush.

MstrJohnJ

08-09-2008, 07:05 AM

LOL,

Great avatar John.

Thanks Ozme... the new south park character generator :)

funny thing? that is just about how I look too

Ozme52

08-09-2008, 10:12 AM

Thanks Ozme... the new south park character generator :)

This comment is worthless..... :rolleyes: without a link. ;)

MstrJohnJ

08-10-2008, 12:29 PM

http://www.sp-studio.de/

and what is it worth now?
LOL

Asmodeuss

08-16-2008, 12:06 AM

Well the human brain is an organic computer capable of processing thousands upon thousands
of bits of information per second. It will take everything from your posture,sent,speech to the
way someone walk's and calculate a percentage based on you knowledge and interest's. The
higher the percentage of certain traits the more likely that person is Dom/Sub Gay/Strait

I'm pretty good at picking people out whatever they may be
for the longest time I just figured i had a knack for it.

romanticx

08-27-2008, 04:08 AM

Ragoczy

08-27-2008, 10:41 AM

i think looking for men with dominent qualities can be diffucult, i think someone in the last one about subs someone said they display some qualities of women who end up in abusive relationships i think thats true also when trying to spot a dominent man theres a fine live between dominence and abuse i think the thing that makes it different is that there has to be respect for each other a deep loving respect.

That was me and I agree with your corollary.

The difference between dominant and abuser, in my opinion, is self-respect and self-awareness. The dominant knows what he is and what he wants, but his self-respect will not allow him to take and abuse, so it must be given willingly.

Self-control, as well -- the abuser responds to disobedience by losing control, while the dominant becomes more in control of himself to respond with firmness and discipline.

Sir Robert

08-27-2008, 03:51 PM

i think looking for men with dominent qualities can be diffucult, i think someone in the last one about subs someone said they display some qualities of women who end up in abusive relationships i think thats true also when trying to spot a dominent man theres a fine live between dominence and abuse i think the thing that makes it different is that there has to be respect for each other a deep loving respect.

Finding the right Dom is not much different from finding the right sub. We are all different and react differently to each situation. I try to learn what my sub wants and needs and then if she begns to act up try to understand why. if I can figure that out then generally I know how to handle the situation without making her feel misundertood and not appreciated.

Virulent

09-01-2008, 05:48 PM

In my experience with friends and lovers, both male and female doms talk significantly less than subs. I've known some great, strong men who I respect, who talk incessantly... but as a rule of thumb, silence is a sign of the kind of confidence necessary to bring others to submit.

MacGuffin

09-02-2008, 12:08 AM

Margaret Thatcher once said "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.”

I would suggest to spot a Dominant you must look for leadership qualities. When the crowd gathers he will be the quiet one at the back, like the lion watching, studying, planning. Then once he knows what he needs to, he will either slowly move to the fore or pounce suddenly and establish himself as the leader of the pack.

Alternatively, he's the one with a crop in his hand:)

MacGuffin

09-02-2008, 12:13 AM

Self-control, as well -- the abuser responds to disobedience by losing control, while the dominant becomes more in control of himself to respond with firmness and discipline.

Agreed. Before you can control others you must first learn how to control yourself!

LadyAznTiger13

09-03-2008, 12:20 AM

you mean I've been wearing this silly hat for nothing?

Amazing.. lol

LadyAznTiger13

09-03-2008, 12:24 AM

I think I will have to agree w/ macGuffin on that one.. well said.
Finding a male like that is easy... finding a female like that looking for a female is hard... or maybe I'm not being sharp enough in the crowd...

Wickedlust

09-06-2008, 03:30 PM

hmm.. good posture, quick witt, eye contact, firm handshake, slighty conceited -or 'convinced'- dark humor sometimes, twinkling eyes, and charasmatic mysterious smile. :)

MasochisticAngel

09-18-2008, 01:24 PM

I would suggest to spot a Dominant you must look for leadership qualities. When the crowd gathers he will be the quiet one at the back, like the lion watching, studying, planning. Then once he knows what he needs to, he will either slowly move to the fore or pounce suddenly and establish himself as the leader of the pack.

I completly agree with that
my master is exactly like that.
thats how he spotted me, he was the quit strong one at the back of the room studying me, when he knew I was a sub he established himself as my leader.

SilvieA

09-18-2008, 01:38 PM

I just look for the arse who was hitting on the subs before I arrived.

LMAO

Lol, that's great! :-D

Ozme52

09-18-2008, 06:38 PM

;)

emmagirl18

09-28-2008, 10:39 PM

i also just seem to know, subconsciously. i act differently unintentionally around Doms, and it makes it easy for me to tell.

damyanti

09-29-2008, 12:42 AM

You can have your suspicions about some people, yes...but I find all the answers above just wishful thinking and too much buying into fiction (movies, trashy romance novels, bdsm porn)....I have a really truly shocking and novel idea --- if you like him, how about asking him?

And if I sound like a smartass,...thats because I am, :blurp_ani.

lucy

09-29-2008, 06:53 AM

[COLOR="Magenta"]I have a really truly shocking and novel idea --- if you like him, how about asking him?
Sounds like a very good idea. However, i think i would either drop dead while approaching him or just stammer some utter nonsense and leave him with the impression that i'm a complete idiot.

hopperboo

09-29-2008, 12:12 PM

Sounds like a very good idea. However, i think i would either drop dead while approaching him or just stammer some utter nonsense and leave him with the impression that i'm a complete idiot.
My life just flashed before my eyes.

I think we might be twins! :D lolol.

Socrates

10-18-2008, 04:16 AM

Great question, and I hope by responding I'm not intruding on what is so far a sub-only thread, but I've always believed that the best way to get to know someone is to be a genuine listener so I've been genuinely listening to you all here. Hopefully when you spot a Dom he won't look like he's trying too hard, but he won't look like he didn't try at all. He'll dress like he meant it. He'll be comfortable with himself and with others - all others. He won't be trying to prove anything, or look rich, because both are very pointless ways to keep score. Hopefully he'll come across as an interested and practised observer; surveying the room and lingering on what interests him. The best Doms are those who know their possessions well through considered observation and relentless learning. Yes he'll probably hold your gaze, out of confidence, that observant nature, but also because looking away immediately would be impolite. A man in control of himself and his ego never needs to be impolite just to show he has the balls to make that choice. When you talk to him he won't tell you about his fancy car in the third sentence, and he'll remember your name the first time. He'll notice your shoes, your earrings, when you look down, what makes you smile, and he'll look forward to the first of a thousand kisses just as much as you will.

Socrates

10-18-2008, 04:20 AM

I just realised I've simultaneously ignored about 5 Doms here by calling this a sub-only thread. This was of course evidence of my great observational skills. Love the irony. My apologies people. :-)

icey

10-18-2008, 10:22 AM

they tend to spot me lol ...i really cant say how i can just tell, maybe its because they're that tiny bit more confident and sure than the people surrounding them that my sub-concious notes, the way they interact with other people is generally a dead give away once you've spotted them.

sinderella

11-10-2008, 06:34 PM

After reding what I feel was/is an interesting post on how to spot a sub? I feel that the subs should point out how they spot a a Dom, and what they look for in a Dom. What features do you look for in a Dom???

i know this sounds odd, but they usually have the same eyes...and the eyes have a direct, clear gaze and they don't just look at you, they look into you. Doms carry themselves differently than other men...they are extremely confident but it is something more that i can't even express...the submissive in you just instinctively responds to it like a magnet to steel.

did you ever have a kitten and enjoy watching it gambol about? that is the same look they have sometimes when they watch you. it's kind of like quiet amusement mixed with being very taken with you, enjoying watching you flutter. oh boy...

jeanne

11-10-2008, 06:52 PM

i know this sounds odd, but they usually have the same eyes...and the eyes have a direct, clear gaze and they don't just look at you, they look into you.
.
.
.
did you ever have a kitten and enjoy watching it gambol about? that is the same look they have sometimes when they watch you. it's kind of like quiet amusement mixed with being very taken with you, enjoying watching you flutter. oh boy...

That's an excellent description. Thanks! :wave:

aussiesubgirl

11-16-2008, 11:56 AM

i know this sounds odd, but they usually have the same eyes...and the eyes have a direct, clear gaze and they don't just look at you, they look into you. Doms carry themselves differently than other men...they are extremely confident but it is something more that i can't even express...the submissive in you just instinctively responds to it like a magnet to steel.

did you ever have a kitten and enjoy watching it gambol about? that is the same look they have sometimes when they watch you. it's kind of like quiet amusement mixed with being very taken with you, enjoying watching you flutter. oh boy...

That is exactly it!!!

SauvagePouline

11-17-2008, 10:16 AM

Some of this all seems true... but others IDK. I don't think its universally applicable. Sometimes its just... a vibe. Not a certain look or way of acting. Sometimes it takes a couple weeks to pick up and then you're just like ooohhhhhh...

Or at least, I've found that. I have one friend who fits the amused look, quietly controlling norm... but another is just a goof ball, but just has, well, a vibe that gives him away.

Quenthel

11-19-2008, 03:10 PM

It is easy to spot a Dom when they walk in the room, they are the ones who are measuring up everyone else to see who they can take and who will be a challenge. You know the look, *oh that one looks edible* or *I bet I can take that one without breaking a sweat*.

icey

11-19-2008, 04:29 PM

im sorry but i really have to disagree with that! just because someone is Dominant it doesnt mean they strut around with a confidant cocky he/she's a challenge air, (that sounds soo internety!) in fact if anything it's very often the opposite they dont even feel the need to strut around or put on the whole ''i can have that one'' act,(thats more of a 20 yr olds im on a lads night out pulling act) they just are who they are and if anything generally more relaxed, casual, laid back and not out to impress.

blythe spirit

11-19-2008, 05:05 PM

~Thinks, Mr. Big~ *swoons*

uncollared-katie

11-21-2008, 06:36 PM

I would suggest to spot a Dominant you must look for leadership qualities. When the crowd gathers he will be the quiet one at the back, like the lion watching, studying, planning. Then once he knows what he needs to, he will either slowly move to the fore or pounce suddenly and establish himself as the leader of the pack.

You are spot on Master... just one suggestion to add - A Dom is always confident

SeX-FiENd

01-14-2009, 11:45 AM

I noticed that a few people mentioned silence ...someone that was more of the quiet type then the talker type. I suppose this could be true for most. At the same time I believe more SUBS to be the quiet types then Dom/Dommes type. subs tend to be the passive, shy, quiet types. I have NEVER really been shy and no one would EVER accuse me of being quiet. I have always had a presence about me that demanded people's attention ....not that I think this is a part of my Domme quality, I'm almost positive most people paid attention just because they just couldn't help but wonder what shocking thing would come out of my mouth next. LOL

satisfied

01-14-2009, 01:20 PM

I'm almost positive most people paid attention just because they just couldn't help but wonder what shocking thing would come out of my mouth next. LOL

Wow! you're right, this isn't a Domly quality. I do that exact same thing. and I don't have a domly bone in my body.......well......only when Silver puts one there........but that's not really a bone is it? Fuck got distracted again.....what were we talking about?