Training

[AdrianaAurora]

I have a question (I know what a shocker to those who know me, :p). :)

The term training refers to the acquisition of knowledge, skills, and competencies as a result of the teaching of vocational or practical skills and knowledge that relate to specific useful competencies.

How did you go about realization of your Dominant tendencies?

Where did you learn technicalities of being a Dominant - like caning, rope binding, flogging, orgasms on command...?

Have you done apprenticeship with a senior Dom/sub or are you self taught?

How have your real life experiences contributed - military, boy scouts, hobbies...?

How much thought have you given to psychological aspects?


I am eternally fascinated by the workings of Dominant minds and commitment and work and thought it takes to be a good Master/Dom.

My husband apparently always had that quiet menace about Him. Before transferring to business studies He studied Psychology for two years and still keeps up with current publications/books. He got into it before the time of Internet and was instantly thrown into the r/l scene. The crux of His training comes from apprenticeship He did with a senior Master and Mistress. He subbed for Her (I would pay good money to see that on tape, lmao) and was in return mentored by Him. He is also a martial arts practitioner of more than 25 years so there was never anything wrong with His canning aim and He likes to sail so He knows His way around the ropes.

[_ID_]

I learned what I do through several different venues. I learned how to flog from my former sub, as well as a Dominant friend that taught me about different leathers. I learned how to cane being self taught. I learned about bondage through lots of reading and going to play parties to watch someone good at rope. I learned about Domination through lots of discussion with others, as well as reading online.

With all that in mind, I am a curious person who gives lots of thought and reflection on how a person reacts to certain situations, and so try tid bits of ideas here and there to see how they work out. Sometimes very well, sometimes not so well.

[Dr_BuzzCzar]

I go way back before internet. Hell, I go back before TV, I'm 62, lol.
Anyway to the point.
Realizing Dominant tendencies: I always was the leader in games, etc. Loved playing games that involved tying up or otherwise controlling another person.

Learn the "technicalities" ( I love that description) I was lucky enough to connect with a man that taught me a great, great deal. I owe him a tremendous debt. This was 1969, so we were not public at all.

Apprenticeship? Nothing formal. Took initial teachings from my friend David and started experimenting, reading, etc. Discovered the internet around 1993. Wow..whole new world of information opened up.

Real life experiences helped? Military especially. I did interrogations for Uncle Sam back in the mid to late 60's so that was very useful. I learned knots in Boy Scouts, later Army, and even later on my own.

Psychological aspects? I've given it little thought actually. I used early military training plus some reading to refine techniques but I'm more of a physical person and the psychological part is an aspect that enhances the physical. The psychological part is never an end to itself.

Lol, now on to reading the rape stories as that's why I came here in the first place.

Note: Edited for spelling.

[Emerson]

I was more self-taught than anything. I've picked up a lot of information from reading stories and tutorials online, but for the most part I've learned by doing, and then talking things over with my sub. I'm probably fairly specialized in that regard, since I've adapted most of my internal whims to fit her interests and boundaries.

As far as life experiences, I think nothing helped nurture my dominant mentality quite like conducting an orchestra in college. The orchestra contained professors as well as students, and at first I was a little overwhelmed by its size and the combined experience of the musicians therein. But in the long run, I realized that if I acted with authority and confidence, they would respond to me by both putting on a good, artistic show, and also by showing up on time for rehearsals, paying attention when I gave instructions, and so on. It certainly is a different venue than bdsm, but the frame of mind is not as foreign as it may seem.

[Gandalf4301]

Like Dr_BuzzCsar > have been in the lifestyle for many years ... also 62. I Met a Gentleman from England back in the 70's ... He was the person that spotted My Dominant characteristics ... I just thought I was "sick" ... not alone in that I know.
At any rate, He became My friend, My Mentor and My teacher. He provide a great deal of literature and was open in replying to every question I ever asked. Taught Me how to make many of the things we now can go out a buy ( no stores stocked BDSM
material in those days). He also made Me read The Joy of Sex and an anatony book ... learn the female anattony ... so I would understand the areas that can be "enjoyed" and how to enjoy them more fully, and what areas to be "careful" about during "play.
Also was most helpful in helping Me develop skills in identification of submissives. And, since He had brought two slaves with Him from the UK, allowed Me to develop skills through the use of His girls, under His supervision.
Any way, that is the short version.

[Vavoooom]

I knew about BDSM from a few years back, but didn't really know that it was what I needed until this year...

My experience and training:
I am self-taught and am a natural at dominating people. I was always in the role of a disciplinarian, even to my (now deceased) father and mother, who never really emotionally matured. My attitude is "just add water" BDSM. My main ingredient being mind control and behavioral modification (which is comes from my years of disciplining everyone around me as well as myself).

My techniques and philosophy:
I integrate the core with, let's say, pain, humiliation and behavioral modification, torture, role play, toys, gear, mood and setting. All the while I consider what I want to do to my chosen victim as in what he/she really enjoys as well as what I enjoy. I also add the element of surprise to spice things up by having them use something totally new or do something totally new. That way something that was a "been there done that" task or activity gets redefined, renovated, and reinterpreted. I also try to figure ahead of time how to conclude the session...which is with a coup de grace. That is my formula. It's simple but can be scaled to any level of complexity.

There is always room for growth and learning. I'm befriending Doms and Dommes have provided lots of advice, knowledge, and experience. There are classes/seminars I plan to take because there certainly are things that you cannot teach yourself to do.

[AdrianaAurora]

Feel free to share a long version Gandalf4301, it sounds as if you have some very interesting stories to tell. :)

Welcome to the Library,

Adriana
:wave:

[Mr Sazabi]

My official history is very short, but I think, I can see small fragments from my childhood which led to want and more understand about life as a dominant person. I have always been leader/captain in most of sports I have played and as a teenager I loved summer scout camps where I become fascinated by ropes and the whole living with nature thing.

I’m very punctual and love to be organized and prepared. I have been working whole my life in hospitality and that gives you pretty much every day new inspiration for role play. There is loads of frustration either from staff and costumers.

As my training; I’m actually looking for experienced sub to help me in discovering myself.

And last thing I have realized; whole my life I had slight problems with expressing my feelings (frustration/love/excitement) in correct way to my partners. You see English is not my first language, even though I think is on good level, sometimes I’d rather use my hand or rope to express myself. :)

[FatherTimejr]

Im actually quite interested in this topic as ive never really been involved R/l with the BDSM community or in sex, so its something im quite interested in learning myself. But as for the knowedge I have ive learned alot from several doms and subs ive had interactions with over the web, along with stories and so on

[aussiesubgirl]

Great question AA...I too am always fascinated by what drives and makes a Dom a Dom and how they 'learned' that part of themselves, as much as I am about learning who I am as a sub

Thanks again for a great post and I would welcome any more perspectives from real Dom's

Aussiesubgirl

[AdrianaAurora]

what drives and makes a Dom a Dom and how they 'learned' that part of themselves, as much as I am about learning who I am as a sub



ROTFLMAO

When I read that part for the first time, what I saw is "what makes Demon Dom..."
Yes, I have a one track mind, LOL

p.s. you might want to also check out this thread What makes you... (http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16673)

:wave:
Adriana

[voxelectronica]

I learned from being a sub. I learned from doing. That's not to say that I don't have tricks up my own sleeves.

When i was very much younger my Domme at the time would have me sit around thinking of ways she could hurt me. Oh a belt or a dowel rod? not creative enough, not pretty enough, not stylish enough. So i would spend my day a lone in my room braiding thin strips of electrical wire for whips. I would design methods of being tied up. I read anything I could get my hands on which ended up mostly as De Sade.

When I was younger it was all pain and my tastes have changed a lot, thank god for the internet!

The internet has really expanded my kink. I don't sit around and thinking of how awesome it would be to force lactate a sub and wonder how that would be done... oh no I know how it would be done. Now I think of how to make it even more uncomfortable for her.

[Misschief]

At the risk of exposing Myself as the garrulous-type, I will contribute My personal experience..

I figured out masturbation at 8, in school, thanks to a diagram on flower reproduction.. Specifically, how some flowers with both stamens and a pistil are capable of self-fertilization.. (The first time I came I thought that I risked getting Myself pregnant.. *blush*)

Anyway, My first masturbation material was about a blonde woman who was tied to a St. Andrew's cross, horizontally, and a terrible grey haired Man who tortured her.. He would mess her make-up, spit in her hair.. Urinate on her.. I could never envision Myself, though..

Anyway, after 2 sexually unsatisfying relationships, at the age of 20, I typed "bondage.com" into My address bar.. Hoping info there would help Me salvage My sex-life..

It is power-exchange that does it for Me.. Roleplay, humiliation, etiquette training.. Corsets, stilettos, thigh high cuban heeled stockings and opera
length gloves..

In regard to My training repertoire, I read a lot.. Books on BDSM, psychology, social engineering.. And I am always browing the internet, investigating the view of My peers.. This site has been entertaining, of late..

[numenor]

I have a question (I know what a shocker to those who know me, :p). :)

The term training refers to the acquisition of knowledge, skills, and competencies as a result of the teaching of vocational or practical skills and knowledge that relate to specific useful competencies.

How did you go about realization of your Dominant tendencies?

Where did you learn technicalities of being a Dominant - like caning, rope binding, flogging, orgasms on command...?

Have you done apprenticeship with a senior Dom/sub or are you self taught?

How have your real life experiences contributed - military, boy scouts, hobbies...?

How much thought have you given to psychological aspects?


I am eternally fascinated by the workings of Dominant minds and commitment and work and thought it takes to be a good Master/Dom.

My husband apparently always had that quiet menace about Him. Before transferring to business studies He studied Psychology for two years and still keeps up with current publications/books. He got into it before the time of Internet and was instantly thrown into the r/l scene. The crux of His training comes from apprenticeship He did with a senior Master and Mistress. He subbed for Her (I would pay good money to see that on tape, lmao) and was in return mentored by Him. He is also a martial arts practitioner of more than 25 years so there was never anything wrong with His canning aim and He likes to sail so He knows His way around the ropes.


I realized ... as I matured and met people who just wanted me to dominate them.

I learned from listening to my sub- they are all different and like different things.

I think about the psychological aspects all the time since that is what in my perception the scene is all about... Sharing trust and listening.


It sounds like your husband is your perfect match.
Mazel tov

[Miner]

similar to your husband's experience combined with that of BuzzCzar and Gandalf - a little ad hoc, some formal training and apprenticeship and dominant since I slapped the nurse back when I was born. I really enjoy seminars/displays...learned firework from a friend who is damned good at it - he did a training display two years ago...it was superb (pity he is a boring public speaker though).

and yes - I think about the psych aspects all the time :)

[sweet2tease]

I've realized I am a Dominant in the internet, and as my work I enjoy being the boss, I like to be in charge, even way before in school I was most of the time the leader.

Technicalities... Hmmm. Try to check out kink.com they have this episode on basic rope bondage and basic cbt, that is where i started. In terms of orgasm denial etc most were practice with a submissive during play time.

And of course I can't thank enough my Dom friend who is helping me out right now, teaching me the ropes, he even let me tie him up for practice. I think it helps alot learning from a another Dom/Domme.

Yes I think there is effect on being trained to be a leader, with girl scout and military training.

A lot of thought about psychological, in my opinion its very important.

[thedominthehat]

In general I am a pragmatist. I like playing with the more commanding side of myself. It seems like the older I get the more that side of me is expected in the rest of my life as well. I also have a keen interest in getting a reaction from people and generally playing with things so ya know strip and lie down I'll be back with something fun from the kitchen or closet or garage.

I've recently been to some events and learned some cool stuff about whips and floggers and electricity. Spanking and riding crops I basically figured out myself with an old acquaintance who got off on it. I'd love to try more things. I really need a partner I click with though. Until then I'll go to the occasional event and mostly just chat and entertain myself.

[The Outlaw]

I realized my dominant tendencies when I began working in the prison system at 18. Until then I had only had regular "High school" sex in which I had no pleasure.

Something about giving orders and commands gave me a thrill. I also realized I was very good at vocalization and getting people to do what I wanted simply by telling them. It wasn't until meeting my current girlfriend that i was truly allowed to explore this further and I realized I was actually good at it in a sexual sense too. I am training myself to be a better master, and joined this site for that reason. Any advice for training my slave is greatly appreciated.