bdsm checklist

[samm]

I don't know whether someone may have suggested this before, but asking doesn't hurt, right? :rolleyes:

Adding an optional bdsm-checklist could be a nice addition. That way people can fill it in as an extended bdsm profile or something.

I think it can show a bit more about people's interests and limits and it can be a good conversation piece when talking to someone ;)
It can also be helpful to those who meet eachoter here and start playing together.

But that's just my opinion :)
what do you all think?

[fetishdj]

I agree and think it would be a great thing to have on the profiles.

[annie]

It also sounds like a troll magnet waiting to happen I fear...

And there is a thread here somewhere that has BDSM checklists that you can fill out and post on the thread and refer people to if you wish too.

[DIXIE LASS]

The ones I've seen on other sites are way too long. They are also very, very repetitive. Additionally, either the scoring system or the explanation for it is confusing.
I think it might be helpful but I also think a new one should be composed for here. It should also have a link to a glossary.

[fetishdj]

I don't think it is likely to be any more of a troll magnet than an entire forum labelled 'personals' which we already have. I feel that most trolls are likely to not bother with any long and complex forms and just dive in with the trolling.

I agree it needs to be one written by the site for the site. As for the terms being confusing - well, the addition of a 'do not know what this is' option is an idea for this. Not everyone in the lifestyle knows everything (though some claim to) and indicating something you are not knowledgeable of is one way to learn from others. It wa from asking about an option in a checklist that I learnt what Bastardino and Poppers were and decided I didn't fancy experimenting with either... :)

A checklist can be as long or as short as you want it to be.

[samm]

It also sounds like a troll magnet waiting to happen I fear...

And there is a thread here somewhere that has BDSM checklists that you can fill out and post on the thread and refer people to if you wish too.

Didn't know that, I'll have to look it up then. Thanks for telling :)

I don't know whether it would be a troll magnet or not, I never heard of things like Bastardino and Poppers :confused: but as some of you are saying, a checklist appears in very different shapes and sizes.
Probably because it is something personal and everyone is different, and that's a good thing right?
I agree that the scoring systems and explanations are sometimes confusing or just plain bad, but I am not sure whether creating a new one will solve that problem.

If there already is a checklist topic, as annie said, then it may be a good idea to just keep using that topic. Checklists are just a means of communicating preferences and limits to eachother anyway, so if anything is unclear or you want to know more, then you just talk to eachother about it.
Communicating seems to be the key to everything ^^

Anyway, it still could be a nice addition, because you wouldn't need to leave the site for it, just click through to someone's checklist. Plus there would be some consistency in it and you wouldn't have to look too far for the sections that interest you.

Keep coming with those opinions ;)

[samm]

I think I found the topic annie referred to.

link (http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9385)

[Ozme52]

That's the one.

[cbtme2]

I agree it should be easier to find people into what your into, I am a straight sub lookiing to be bound and forced bi orally through cbt where do I go for this conversation?

[cadence]

I agree it should be easier to find people into what your into, I am a straight sub lookiing to be bound and forced bi orally through cbt where do I go for this conversation?

There is a place in your profile to list your BDSM likes or activities. I don't know how many words you can post within that space, but most people have only two or three main interests. And regardless if you have a long list or a very short one, people will still have to view your profile anyway.
I personally would rather see a short summation of BDSM activities rather than a long one, I don't know who would take the time to read it all through.
I would think a few lines are better than a long list, when you are initially meeting someone.
Sure a checklist would be good to have, but as Annie pointed out, there is one available here in the forums.
You could fill it out and post a link to that in your profile.



If you are specifically looking for someone to meet, than the personals are the best way to find like minded people.



If you are looking to discuss certain ideas, questions, etc... than post in any appropriate thread.

[craven]

It also sounds like a troll magnet waiting to happen I fear...

And there is a thread here somewhere that has BDSM checklists that you can fill out and post on the thread and refer people to if you wish too.

alas i fear annie could well be right on this one, the checklist is very comprehensive and a great tool, but i feel should only be used between people that have established some form of trust and understanding

the easiest way is to ask questions and get to know people by chatting to them, all are very friendly and open here, as annie says there is a need to ensure that the fine line between openness and protection is policed

thanks annie for highlighting the dangers of posting too much open info

not sure if people have been able to find the check list, and apologies now for the length of it, but it is worth it it trust me, here it is, oh and one last tip (this one comes from experience, take your time in filing it in, dont do as some do (me) and start skipping through to complete and return the thing, this can lead to a whole new set of problems for you with your potential Dom(me) !! trust me

very self explanatory, just copy and paste it to word or an email and fill in your responses to the elements listed, no, 1,2,3,4 and 5 etc

No – hard Limit
1 Really not keen on soft limit
2 Not keen on/borderline soft limit
3 Consider normal and acceptable
4 like, and into
5 very keen and want to do

Abrasion:
Age play:
Anal sex:
Anal plugs (small):
Anal plugs (large):
Anal plug (public, under clothes):
Animal roles:
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders):
Asphyxiation:
Auctioned for charity:
Bathroom use control:
Bestiality:
Beating (soft):
Beating (hard):
Blindfolds:
Being serviced (sexual):
Being bitten:
Breast/chest bondage:
Breath control:
Branding:
Boot worship:
Bondage (light):
Bondage (heavy):
Bondage (multi-day):
Bondage (public, under clothing):
Bondage and Sex:
Breast whipping:
Brown showers (scat):
Cages (locked inside of):
Caning:
Catheterization:
Cells/Closets (locked inside of):
Chastity belts:
Choking:
Clothespins breast/nipples:
Clothespins labia lips/clit:
Clothespins body:
Cock worship:
Collars (worn in private):
Collars (worn in public):
Competitions (with other Subs):
Corsets (wearing):
Cuffs:
Cuffs (metal):
Cutting:
Double penetration:
Electricity:
Enemas:
Enforced chastity:
Examinations (physical):
Exercise (forced/required):
Exhibitionism (friends):
Exhibitionism (strangers):
Eye contact restrictions:
Face slapping:
Fantasy abandonment:
Fantasy rape:
Fantasy forced deep throat:
Fantasy forced cunt licking:
Fantasy forced rape anal:
Fantasy gang-rape:
Fisting (anal):
Fisting (vaginal):
Flogging:
Following orders:
Foot worship:
Forced dressing:
Forced homosexuality:
Forced masturbation:
Forced nudity (private):
Forced nudity (around others):
Forced servitude:
Full head hoods:
Gags (cloth):
Gags (penis shaped):
Gags (rubber):
Gags (tape):
Gates of Hell:
Genital sex:
Given away to another Dom (temp):
Given away to another Domme (temp):
Given away to another Dom (perm):
Given away to another Domme (perm):
Golden showers:
Greetings rituals:
Hairbrush spankings:
Hair pulling:
Hand jobs (giving):
Hand jobs (receiving):
Harems (serving w/other subs):
Harnessing (leather):
Harnessing (rope):
Having food chosen for you:
Having clothing chosen for you:
Head (giving cunnilingus):
Head (giving fellatio):
Head (receiving cunnilingus female only):
Head (receiving fellatio male only):
High heel worship:
Homage with tongue (non-sexual):
Hot oils (on genitals):
Hot waxing:
Housework (doing):
Human puppy dog:
Humiliation (private):
Humiliation (public):
Hypnotism:
Ice cubes:
Infantilism:
Initiation rites:
Injections:
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage:
Interrogations:
Kidnapping:
Kneeling:
Leather clothing:
restraints chains:
restraints leather:
restraints rope:
Lectures for misbehavior:
Licking (non-sexual):
Manacles & Irons:
Manicures (giving):
Massage (giving):
Massage (receiving):
Medical scenes:
Modeling for erotic photos:
Modeling for erotic videos:
Mouth bits:
Mummification:
Nipple clamps:
Nipple cloths pins:
Nipple weights:
Oral/anal play (rimming):
Over-the-knee spanking:
Orgasm denial:
Orgasm control:
Outdoor scenes:
Outdoor sex:
Phone sex (serving Domme):
Phone sex (serving Domme's friends):
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce):
Piercing (permanent):
Prison scenes:
Pony slave:
Public exposure:
Public tasks:
Pussy/cock whipping:
Pussy worship:
Riding crops:
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort.):
Rituals:
Religious scenes:
Restrictive rules on behavior:
Rubber/latex clothing:
Rope body harness:
Saran wrapping:
Scratching – getting:
Scratching – giving:
Sensory deprivation:
Serving:
Serving as art:
Serving as ashtray:
Serving as furniture:
Serving as a maid:
Serving as toilet:
Serving as waitress/waiter:
Serving orally (sexual):
Serving other Doms (supervised):
Serving other Doms (unsupervised):
Sexual deprivation (short term):
Sexual deprivation (long term):
Shaving (body hair):
Shaving (head hair):
Shaving (pubic hair):
Sleep deprivation:
Sleep-sacks:
Slutty clothing (private):
Slutty clothing (public):
Spanking in private:
Spanking in public:
Spanking in bdsm parties:
Spanking pleasure:
Spandex clothing:
Speech restrictions:
Speculums (Anal):
Speculums (vaginal):
Spreader bars:
Standing in corner:
Stocks (adjustable):
Stocks (fixed):
Straight jackets:
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on):
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by):
Strap-on-dildos (wearing):
Strapping (full body beating):
Suspension (upright);
Suspension (inverted):
Suspension (horizontal):
Supplying new partners for Dom:
Swallowing semen:
Swallowing urine:
Swapping (with one other couple):
Swinging (multiple couples):
Tattooing:
Teasing:
Tickling:
Triple penetration:
Triple penetration by 3 males:
Including others:
Vaginal dildo:
Verbal humiliation:
Vibrator on genitals:
Voyeurism (watching others):
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others):
Video (watching others):
Video (recordings of you):
Water torture:
Wearing symbolic jewelry:
Whipping:
Wooden paddles:
Wrestling:
Roleplay:

[thrall]

It also sounds like a troll magnet waiting to happen I fear...

And there is a thread here somewhere that has BDSM checklists that you can fill out and post on the thread and refer people to if you wish too.


Im with you here annie...


More so now........since the forum is open to all unregistered guests to look in as see...


If someone wants to know something about you....the can ask....

[Skyybird]

Call me old fashioned but....surely all of this is where you should be having conversations and getting to know each other?

I suppose if you were engaging in activities with a paid professional it would be sensible to have a contract in order to eliminate any misunderstandings, but in a relationship/friendship etc, I think, one should always discuss and experience things before deciding if you like it...

for example...anal fisting could be great fun with one partner, but totally awfull with another depending on proportion and technique.:278:

I'm afraid I dont believe, with regard to a checklist, that one size fits all, if you pardon the pun!

:)

[rosebud]

i have used this list before and found it quite helpful when the questions arise on likes, dislikes, wants, and needs...and over time the answers/interests do tend to change and it is updated. One of the things not listed however, that i did add, was 'Safewords'. As fetishdj said...it can be as long or short as you want it...Nice thread...Thanks

[Kahlann]

You guys just saved me so much time searching for that checklist. Thank you so much. It's really a great base to work off of.

[SUBtly_shy]

Personally I end up refilling out that thing every 3 to 4 months depending on how life and my path into submission are going. My master uses it as a way to track my growth and see what direction my interests are heading in. At the very least as things change it gives him a good idea of topics that need to be rediscussed.

[MasterBaron1945]

lists! people dont know what they want
people don't know things until they are in an interactive situation.
there are things I can do to only certain people, and there are things that can only be done be done to special others.

This has to have a componant of personality and feelings.

MB

[Twisted32]

Additionally, either the scoring system or the explanation for it is confusing.


as far as a list that Ive found, I just printed it and checked off what I am willing to do and deleted or whited out the stuff ( like scat and water sports...SOOOOOOO NOT into that...) that i am ABSOLUTELY against and will NOT do. the scoring system for me seemed to be mostly all 5's so i just said f it and started checking off the stuff Id do. lol.

[Arria]

I oppose putting such a list as part of the profile as well.

We have something like that on a German forum.

If you use it is optional. But it turned out that using it attracts dumb come-ons from people who don´t give a fuck about you as a person, just because you happen to like the same things.

The list should be used between two people who have in some way "connected". I also agree that it changes regularly. That is because people develop (hopefully).

I don´t see as much trouble with simply stating your hard limits/complete no-gos in your profile, though.

[ShadePayne]

I feel a checklist should only be completed between two people that have agreed and commited themselevs to each other for short or long term periods of time. For if your someone serious (I will even go as far to say "The One") you will know my limits hard and soft and they will not have to posted on the site for every.....Hairy, Dick, and Tom to read....ohhh sorry........Tom, Dick and Harry to perv...like not enough of that doesn't all ready happen.