Alex Bragi
08-31-2008, 11:54 PM
"Love is never having to say you're sorry", sure, you've all seen those sappy words dripping from posters and cards bearing those even sappier images--it's like pure saccharine for your sole! I guess the insinuation is that if someone really and truly loves you then they'll put up with you no matter what. Love is never having to say you're sorry my ass, if you've fucked it up with someone you care about those are the exact words that should be spilling out of your mouth.
I remember this guy I used to date, no matter how he fucked up, and believe me he was one hell of a fucked up bastard, he always remained unrepentant: “How can I say sorry for something I didn’t do?" Ironically the problem was he thought being a perfectionist make him perfect. Let me tell you, he had a very short shelve life with me.
When I fuck up, I own up.
Rather interestingly, studies reveal that generally women have a tendency to apologise more easily than men.
Tannen, PhD, author of "I Only Say This Because I love You" :"Men often worry about being seen as weak, so they don't like admitting fault. They see apologizing as a form of public humiliation and a move that makes them more vulnerable to criticism. Plus, they just don't see the point. For many men, words don't count as much as actions, which is why if they've done something wrong, they'd rather show their remorse by not doing it again."
So, I guess the bottom line here is, ladies, when he does fuck up (and he will) don't expect him to always apologise but do look for some other form of peace offering.
Ah, but I digress...
I think it's a good character trait to be able to admit when you're wrong and apologise because, as sure as I'm never going to have big tits, we're all going to fuck up at some time in our lives, so why not at least try to do it with a little bit style and grace?
We've all heard it before "we learn by our mistakes". I guess what that really means is that it's the cleaning up and not necessarily the fucking up that's important. I kind of like that idea. Me? I fuck all the time so I get plenty of practice.
I think the faster you can address the fuck up the easier it is to clean up. I also believe it’s not as important to explain why you're sorry as much as just simply acknowledging that you're sorry; that you regret your words or actions, and you're wanting acceptance of and forgiveness for what ever it was that you fucked up in the first place.
Having someone accept an apology can feel kind of good; like washing away the guilt and remorse. It's an acknowledgement that you can fuck up and they'll still care enough to forgive you, but then for fuck sake don't do it again!
An honest apology can mend relationships, dissolve anger, soothe shattered pride or heal a broken heart. Just like the words, "I love you", "I'm sorry" can be equally as powerful. Yet we so often just get so caught up in our own way of seeing things that we find it difficult, and occasionally even impossible, to muster an apology for simple errors of judgement or poor choices that we later regret. We allow our over blown egos and stubbornness to rule our lives.
Life is just too short for gripes, grudges, and resentments.
So, if you're sorry, I say, say it, mean it, and move on.
I remember this guy I used to date, no matter how he fucked up, and believe me he was one hell of a fucked up bastard, he always remained unrepentant: “How can I say sorry for something I didn’t do?" Ironically the problem was he thought being a perfectionist make him perfect. Let me tell you, he had a very short shelve life with me.
When I fuck up, I own up.
Rather interestingly, studies reveal that generally women have a tendency to apologise more easily than men.
Tannen, PhD, author of "I Only Say This Because I love You" :"Men often worry about being seen as weak, so they don't like admitting fault. They see apologizing as a form of public humiliation and a move that makes them more vulnerable to criticism. Plus, they just don't see the point. For many men, words don't count as much as actions, which is why if they've done something wrong, they'd rather show their remorse by not doing it again."
So, I guess the bottom line here is, ladies, when he does fuck up (and he will) don't expect him to always apologise but do look for some other form of peace offering.
Ah, but I digress...
I think it's a good character trait to be able to admit when you're wrong and apologise because, as sure as I'm never going to have big tits, we're all going to fuck up at some time in our lives, so why not at least try to do it with a little bit style and grace?
We've all heard it before "we learn by our mistakes". I guess what that really means is that it's the cleaning up and not necessarily the fucking up that's important. I kind of like that idea. Me? I fuck all the time so I get plenty of practice.
I think the faster you can address the fuck up the easier it is to clean up. I also believe it’s not as important to explain why you're sorry as much as just simply acknowledging that you're sorry; that you regret your words or actions, and you're wanting acceptance of and forgiveness for what ever it was that you fucked up in the first place.
Having someone accept an apology can feel kind of good; like washing away the guilt and remorse. It's an acknowledgement that you can fuck up and they'll still care enough to forgive you, but then for fuck sake don't do it again!
An honest apology can mend relationships, dissolve anger, soothe shattered pride or heal a broken heart. Just like the words, "I love you", "I'm sorry" can be equally as powerful. Yet we so often just get so caught up in our own way of seeing things that we find it difficult, and occasionally even impossible, to muster an apology for simple errors of judgement or poor choices that we later regret. We allow our over blown egos and stubbornness to rule our lives.
Life is just too short for gripes, grudges, and resentments.
So, if you're sorry, I say, say it, mean it, and move on.