Obedience training

[damyanti]

Obedience training...I have seen this expression a few times here...what is it exactly, how do you do it, how does it effect you...?

[NickosGreek]

Dear R...,
first of all you have to feel free, to let your self belong to your master/dom completely. You have to enjoy serving him, pleasing him. Then it comes natural. Taken commands, rules, roles. Enjoying the rules, the role playing, offering both your body and your mind. Do not say I am "embarassed, I am not doing this", but "I am following you" in our erotic journey. Of course training is part of the "procedure", obedience is the key to achieve the training goal. Training goal might be everything, from learning how to react when being punished or to having a specific behaviour under some circumstances, or many other things...

Hope that this is an impulse for others to write their opinions, too.
Regards,
M....

[Mastrovenice]

OK, I'll take a stab at this. Like most things BDSM, it means different things to different folks. In general, I feel, it is very similar to obedience training of a loved companion animal, where a few very firm gestures and seemingly endless repetitions help the Master to control the mind and body of the subject. Different actions and techniques are used to train for different things.

Training the subject to respond to voice commands and to react appropriately in various circumstances are often the objects of training. Subjects are trained to sit, stand, and adopt other poses on command. They are directed to fetch, service and do about any other thing a Dominant imagines. When the subject performs sub-standardly (slow, with attitude, incorrectly) they are often disciplined, verbally or physically or both. One would hope that this is a learning endeavor.

As for effects, as a Dom, I have specific goals in mind that the sub must attain (correct posture). I would let other subs address the internal changes inherent in their position.

M.

[Daumon]

damyanti,

As with everything else in the lifestyle 'Obedience training' has different means to differnt people. The level of agreed service and styles of the people involved. At the most basic level it involved the Dom/mie setting rules to be followed by their sub. The rules are learned by the sub and often reviewed by their Dom/mie. The review can be verbal or by preformance and review. As in anything praise for a job well done is expected in what ever form is in keeping with the relationship.

Corrections for incorrect actions, failure to follow rules or shy/hesitant behavior can be as simple as verbal correction and reinforcment of the rules to be followed. Repatition is the key to learning her as in all things. In stricter relationships the incorrect behavior often involves negative reinforcement. This can be stern looks, harsh words and raised vices or in more serious situations physcial correction.

What works for one sub may be completely incorrect for the next. For some a simple over the lap spanking brings tears and promises to be good. For others more sever punishment might be in line. Once you get to know a sub well you wil find there are often ways to correct that dont require spanking or flogging. If the sub said something incorrectyly or inappropriate try making them were a gag or simple ordering them not to speak again until allowed. Such actions can bring home the point as they have to live with the cost of their error and not dwell on how bad you treated them.

The best ideas are corrections that suit the transgressions. This works best once you actually know the sub and what affects them most. If you need ideas on specific situations im sure the creative people at this site can help with suggestions. <WG> I hope this has been more helpfulk than confusing.

[denuseri]

I respectfully agree with all of the above. (smiles).

To further your explorations i might sugest however in addition to the above :joining the Taskee tract of the "Tasking society" here. Its a great way to work on and explore "Obedience" first hand in a very ultra safe fashion.

[damyanti]

I am used to having to be in control. I am very good at it.

So I am trying to get my mind wrapped around the concept of obedience...and its correlation to submission.

Because I have no idea how to put this into words, I will try with an example:

I like the idea of "him" taking control. I like to be pleasing. For instance, he likes to control what I wear...now that is not a limit of mine and I obviously want to please him. But what if he has a lousy sense of fashion? Its fine for when we are alone, but what about going in public...what if he wants me to dress in a slutty fashion, think Cavalli and I am more of a Dior kind of girl, lol.

(In a situation where limits are essentially agreed upon, and parties are compatible) how do you obey, if its something you don't like (if its not your style)?

[MacGuffin]

Following on from Mastrovenice's animal training analagy, perhaps it helps to consider military basic training.

Recruits are broken down, underdesirable habits, thoughts and traits removed, then rebuilt the army way to become fully functional fighting machines. Training involves excercises, strict discipline, humiliation, punishments etc. Soldiers are taught to do every the army way; how to stand, what to wear, how to address an officer etc. When you join up you hand over power and authority and place your trust in your commanding officer. For his part the officer must take care of his men and be responsible for their safety, welfare and morale.

Obedience is drilled into the recruit such that it becomes instictive, you don't question orders, you just follow them. The soldier is trained to follow orders without thinking so that when he is ordered to charge into the valley at the enemy he does not stop to think how well defended it is or that he will probably get killed, he just does it.

If you transfer this analagy to your clothes one. Never mind "a lousy sense of fashion" your Dom could order you to wear a short mini skirt, no panties and see thru blouse and, assuming you have been well trained, you would wear it without thinking and walk down the high street just the same as the soldier charges into the valley.

I can imagine your horror at the thought of this blind unquestioning obedience. But consider for a second how fondly ex-soldiers talk about their time in the army. Very few regret the experience, most speak with deep affection, proudly show their battle scars and exchange amusing stories of how they charged into the valley.

The military and bdsm are not for everyone. Many drop out during their first few weeks in boot camp just as, I'm sure, many drop out during their first few weeks here at this site. Some hate it and some spend their life in the army. The lesson here is to find out what it's all about before entering into the commitment to serve and if you're sure it's right for you then join up.


Yours is not to question why, yours is but to do or die - Tennyson - The Charge of the Light Brigade

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

[AdrianaAurora]

I am used to having to be in control. I am very good at it.

So I am trying to get my mind wrapped around the concept of obedience...and its correlation to submission.

Because I have no idea how to put this into words, I will try with an example:

I like the idea of "him" taking control. I like to be pleasing. For instance, he likes to control what I wear...now that is not a limit of mine and I obviously want to please him. But what if he has a lousy sense of fashion? Its fine for when we are alone, but what about going in public...what if he wants me to dress in a slutty fashion, think Cavalli and I am more of a Dior kind of girl, lol.

(In a situation where limits are essentially agreed upon, and parties are compatible) how do you obey, if its something you don't like (if its not your style)?


Well, when it comes to ordinary issues all couples face (like where to live, what school we send our son to) we usually try to reach some kind of compromise just like in a vanilla marriage.

When it comes to normal, mundane stuff where I have given Him control - is we first talk about it, what and why I want Him to control, and to which degree. Its ok to discuss parameters, in fact its a must - for instance, if you are vegetarian and you want him to control your food intake, he has to be aware of it and you have to trust that he will respect that. My husband doesn't control what I wear 24/7, but He does like to pick things out and give them to me saying, "Wear this tonight", or He sends me a message that I am to go groceries shopping without panties - but He would never order me to dress as a slut for work, since He knows that due to my line of work that would be unacceptable, instead He picks out the suit He wants me to wear or changes some little detail so I am always aware of His control.

Its all about parameters, and trusting He will do the right thing for you - if you cant trust him with that...

[acero]

Hii.. Well I'm so a rebel guy, so attracted to fight authority, likes to start a discussion about freedom, that I'd love to be submitted by someone a girl or a guy, and learn to obey him/her, to take out all of my antisocial self, and be a very strongly submissive slave, living just to please her/him, I think it would so sexy someone take out all of my liberty and freedom and used me for all of his/her desires... I'm so into submission hope there's is master/mistress who would take me ...

[jeanne]

Dear R...,
first of all you have to feel free, to let your self belong to your master/dom completely. You have to enjoy serving him, pleasing him. Then it comes natural. Taken commands, rules, roles. Enjoying the rules, the role playing, offering both your body and your mind.

This is very true. Then it comes naturally.



Do not say I am "embarassed, I am not doing this", but "I am following you" in our erotic journey. Of course training is part of the "procedure", obedience is the key to achieve the training goal. Training goal might be everything, from learning how to react when being punished or to having a specific behaviour under some circumstances, or many other things...


When I think specifically of 'obedience training', I think of submissives who, as part of their submissiveness, fight. You know, for many, there is a need to fight, to be subdued, to be taken before 'giving in'...and obedience training is very helpful and useful in helping them settle into their submissive place. If that's what they want and need eventually, of course. :)

[painslut4him]

OK, I'll take a stab at this. Like most things BDSM, it means different things to different folks. In general, I feel, it is very similar to obedience training of a loved companion animal, where a few very firm gestures and seemingly endless repetitions help the Master to control the mind and body of the subject. Different actions and techniques are used to train for different things.

Training the subject to respond to voice commands and to react appropriately in various circumstances are often the objects of training. Subjects are trained to sit, stand, and adopt other poses on command. They are directed to fetch, service and do about any other thing a Dominant imagines. When the subject performs sub-standardly (slow, with attitude, incorrectly) they are often disciplined, verbally or physically or both. One would hope that this is a learning endeavor.

As for effects, as a Dom, I have specific goals in mind that the sub must attain (correct posture). I would let other subs address the internal changes inherent in their position.

M.

This slave had to smile when she saw this post. She has experienced this firsthand. Mastrovenice is a creative, strict, and firm yet understanding and patient Master.

Obedience training began for this slave from the first moment W/we started O/our relationship. What obedience training has done for His slave is twofold; 1. she feels more submissive by learning what is expected of her, and 2. she realizes she brings Him even more pleasure by behaving/doing as He wants His slave to be/do.

[lucy]

Obedience is drilled into the recruit such that it becomes instictive, you don't question orders, you just follow them. The soldier is trained to follow orders without thinking so that when he is ordered to charge into the valley at the enemy he does not stop to think how well defended it is or that he will probably get killed, he just does it.

If you transfer this analagy to your clothes one. Never mind "a lousy sense of fashion" your Dom could order you to wear a short mini skirt, no panties and see thru blouse and, assuming you have been well trained, you would wear it without thinking and walk down the high street just the same as the soldier charges into the valley. [/I]
I'm perfectly fine with all that, but does it mean i have to switch off my brain and forget ssc?
And if not, how should a obedience training that takes into account the aspects of ssc look like?

[leah06]

I'm perfectly fine with all that, but does it mean i have to switch off my brain and forget ssc?
And if not, how should a obedience training that takes into account the aspects of ssc look like?

Even in the military, people are not supposed to follow illegal orders, so they must maintain enough awareness of the situation to evaluate their orders on that basis. I would think that obedience training would be similar - in real life, and not fantasy or stories, one would want to maintain enough sense of the situation and one's own limits to be sure that an order was not "illegal" so to speak. I struggle with this, BTW, because I'm not sure I trust myself enough to monitor properly, so I personally would stay far away from obedience training.

[~faerie~]

Following on from Mastrovenice's animal training analagy, perhaps it helps to consider military basic training.

Recruits are broken down, underdesirable habits, thoughts and traits removed, then rebuilt the army way to become fully functional fighting machines. Training involves excercises, strict discipline, humiliation, punishments etc. Soldiers are taught to do every the army way; how to stand, what to wear, how to address an officer etc. When you join up you hand over power and authority and place your trust in your commanding officer. For his part the officer must take care of his men and be responsible for their safety, welfare and morale.

Obedience is drilled into the recruit such that it becomes instictive, you don't question orders, you just follow them. The soldier is trained to follow orders without thinking so that when he is ordered to charge into the valley at the enemy he does not stop to think how well defended it is or that he will probably get killed, he just does it.

If you transfer this analagy to your clothes one. Never mind "a lousy sense of fashion" your Dom could order you to wear a short mini skirt, no panties and see thru blouse and, assuming you have been well trained, you would wear it without thinking and walk down the high street just the same as the soldier charges into the valley.

I can imagine your horror at the thought of this blind unquestioning obedience. But consider for a second how fondly ex-soldiers talk about their time in the army. Very few regret the experience, most speak with deep affection, proudly show their battle scars and exchange amusing stories of how they charged into the valley.

The military and bdsm are not for everyone. Many drop out during their first few weeks in boot camp just as, I'm sure, many drop out during their first few weeks here at this site. Some hate it and some spend their life in the army. The lesson here is to find out what it's all about before entering into the commitment to serve and if you're sure it's right for you then join up.


Yours is not to question why, yours is but to do or die - Tennyson - The Charge of the Light Brigade

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.


Cannon to the right of them,
Cannon to the left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
while horse and hero fell,
That they had rode so well
Came through the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell.
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wonder'd.
Honor the charge they made!
Honor the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred!

sorry didnt mean to hijack the thread i just couldnt help myself. that is one of my favorite poems.

*clears throat* back to topic.

Quoted by painslut4him: Obedience training began for this slave from the first moment W/we started O/our relationship. What obedience training has done for His slave is twofold; 1. she feels more submissive by learning what is expected of her, and 2. she realizes she brings Him even more pleasure by behaving/doing as He wants His slave to be/do.

I have to agree with this.

But my Master having been former Military, i can see
MacGuffin's point as well