SirsCatsneaky
09-16-2008, 07:45 AM
I am a 31 year old submissive. I think I've always been submissive, only I called it codependent. I thought something was wrong with me because I wanted to take care of the person I was dating completely. Only recently did I realize that I've been a submissive all this time.
I first got interested in the BDSM lifestyle with my very first boyfriend at 17 years old. He would have fantasies of tying me to a tree naked outside and having his way with me, or just leaving me there to be nervous for a while. And it turned me on too! The bondage has always been a part of my life. It is the submission that is new.
Luckily I am in a very safe relationship with a man that I will be with for quite some time. I have been married, divorced, and now in this six year relationship that feels pretty permanent to me. So, I sat Sir down one day to explain to him about 24/7 total power exchange relationships and how they work. We ordered a couple of books and talked about it constantly. Just the fact that he wouldn't freak out on me for such a seemingly large change in the dynamic of our relationship speaks volumes of our communication level and comfort and trust in each other.
In reality we've been practicing a 24/7 TPE for about three months. I am very much still in training and so is he. He's having to learn HOW to tell me how he wants things, and also get used to TELLING me instead of asking. I am still learning to do what he says quickly without falling into my own habit of "I'll get to it."
We have grown so much closer in these months, I am so grateful to have someone who loves me for all my kink I feel so much stronger now because Sir has given me more confidence in my ability to take charge.
I don't really have anyone in my life I can talk about all of this to so I'm looking forward to making friends.
Whew, that was long winded :D
I first got interested in the BDSM lifestyle with my very first boyfriend at 17 years old. He would have fantasies of tying me to a tree naked outside and having his way with me, or just leaving me there to be nervous for a while. And it turned me on too! The bondage has always been a part of my life. It is the submission that is new.
Luckily I am in a very safe relationship with a man that I will be with for quite some time. I have been married, divorced, and now in this six year relationship that feels pretty permanent to me. So, I sat Sir down one day to explain to him about 24/7 total power exchange relationships and how they work. We ordered a couple of books and talked about it constantly. Just the fact that he wouldn't freak out on me for such a seemingly large change in the dynamic of our relationship speaks volumes of our communication level and comfort and trust in each other.
In reality we've been practicing a 24/7 TPE for about three months. I am very much still in training and so is he. He's having to learn HOW to tell me how he wants things, and also get used to TELLING me instead of asking. I am still learning to do what he says quickly without falling into my own habit of "I'll get to it."
We have grown so much closer in these months, I am so grateful to have someone who loves me for all my kink I feel so much stronger now because Sir has given me more confidence in my ability to take charge.
I don't really have anyone in my life I can talk about all of this to so I'm looking forward to making friends.
Whew, that was long winded :D