The "Interview" Process!

[angelic.zest]

This one might be for the newbies (such as myself) who are looking for potiential Dominants as they make their search into the lifestyle... i believe it should be relax and calm, it shouldnt be alike a formal interview as if ur out on a job search.

what are some of the questions you would come up with? (anyone can answer this question, Domiinants, submissives, attached submissive, slaves attached Dominants, all replies welcome)

Well some that i came up with:


How long have you been into the lifestyle? How did your last relationship end? Are you active in the community(if its real time) or are you an avid poster in the forums( if its online)?
What do you feel makes a "proper" submissive? are you into protocol out right or do you go with the flow and let the submissive choice when she feels ready to call you Sir(or anything else he or she wants to be called)?

i'll post some of the questions ive read from other sites...

i think its a good thing when a Dominant encourages a submissive to ask questions, wanting to get a feel for them and not just jump right into their panties. We dont have a lie detector embedded into our brains but we have gut feelings, that we should listen to when something doesn't feel quiet right. We should listen to that feeling and step away from the situtation and call that a learning experience.

[orchidsoul]

I've read personals that sort of end with "submit your application" or "I'll review your application to determine if you're worthy of my attentions" and many more likened to those- and the ads are not presented as if a role play. I totally wonder if anyone writes to them, or rather if it's what some subs actually desire. None the less, it's always fascinated me.

Finding a compatible relationship, regardless of what style, is all about seeing if there's chemistry... and yes, through questions we discover answers and commonalities.

I'd keep the questions very broad. Much like you've presented. Personally, I wouldn't want someone asking me in a first conversation the details of my sexual proclivities. Whether seeking a dominant or a boyfriend, it just seems a little too much right out of the gates.
But how long I've been interested, my involvement within a community, my overall desires (as in 24/7 vs service oriented vs only in the bedroom vs etc) seem broad enough whilst still being able to determine levels of compatibility.

Mostly, I've just never approached seeking a d/s relationship any different than a traditional relationship.

Interesting topic.

[Ozme52]

I would suggest you just talk, have conversations, and let the topics come and go naturally. You'll both learn more that way...

And don't shy away from 'vanilla' topics. You should find each other interesting over and above your shared kinks.

[angelic.zest]

Finding a compatible relationship, regardless of what style, is all about seeing if there's chemistry... and yes, through questions we discover answers and commonalities.


totally agree, i try to come into all relationships be it d/s or vanilla with the same mind same, abit different for d/s but mostly there has to be a foundation of something there, and then we move on to the heavier quesitions.

its good to know where someone head is when ur trying to look for a S.O.
some submissive may not know the type of questions to ask, which is why i posted...found it on another forums, that someone started the thread and most of the replies have the same or simular questions posted above.


I would suggest you just talk, have conversations, and let the topics come and go naturally. You'll both learn more that way...

And don't shy away from 'vanilla' topics. You should find each other interesting over and above your shared kinks.

questions like "whats your favorite color?" :rolleyes: giggles

[Ozme52]

questions like "whats your favorite color?" :rolleyes: giggles

Depends on the canvas zesty.

This color as it turns to this color and eventually this color has a certain appeal. ;pank

[orchidsoul]

haha! Fantastic, Ozme.

And I must concur with your clever reply.

[angelic.zest]

Depends on the canvas zesty.

This color as it turns to this color and eventually this color has a certain appeal. ;pank

*smiles sweetly* Nice! lol

[Euryleia]

Here are some questions I collected for submissives:

1) What do you think are the most important characteristics & abilities a person must possess to become a successful submissive/slave?

2) How do you think that I match up with those traits?

3) Will you provide the necessary training to bring me up to your standards? What would my training schedule look like?

4) Whose responsibility is it to provide the toys for our sessions?

5) What are your sexual experiences as a Dominant? How many previous partners and how long did your relationships last?

6) Why did your last submissive leave? Do you stay in contact with them?

7) Everyone has strengths & weaknesses. What are yours?

8) How would your previous submissives evaluate your performance? What were some of the good points & bad points of your experience with them?

9) When you have been told, or discovered for yourself, a problem in the performance of your submissive, what do you typically do?

10) If you told me to do something which I have a problem with, how would you react?

11) Have you ever hit anyone in anger or been told that you have anger issues?

12) Have you ever been in a scene where things have gone too far or gotten out of control?

13) Do you have any emotional issues that I should know about? What about medical conditions that might affect your performance?

14) What were some of the things about your last experience that gave you the greatest satisfaction?

15) What things frustrate you the most? How do you usually cope with them?

16) Please share with me one of your fantasies?

17) Have you ever been convicted of anything or been a party to a lawsuit? Has anyone put out a restraining order on you?

18) How would you define if I were doing a good job as your submissive/slave? On what basis is your definition determined?

19) What do you like to do best?

20) What do you like to do least?

21) What level of control will you assert over my body, both inside and outside of our sessions? Will I be expected to cum on demand?

22) How active is your social life? Will I be expected to attend public events with you?
Will I be expected to meet/entertain your friends, colleagues, or family?

23) Have you been tested for STD’s since your last sexual encounter? How long ago was that? Would you go with me for us to get tested together?

24) What are some of the hobbies you have?

25) What are your educational and career goals? Will you support my educational and career goals (emotionally, financially)?

[Logic1]

great list there Euryleia. thank you :)

[angelic.zest]

Euryleia ty again, so glad u brought the list here!!