How to ask

[SubmissiveDoll]

I need some advice on how to approach a conversation with my Master, and some possible suggestions on what it is I actually want to ask for.

My Master is very forthcoming with compliments, and praise when I do well. Which I most often do. I rarely do anything that would require discipline. I have few rules, and I'm quite comfortable following all of them.

However, recently I've felt that I need more structure in my life. I need that submissive feeling, when I know that I'm serving my Master. When I know that what I'm doing is because he wishes it to be so.

I haven't brought it up to him for several reasons. One, I don't actually know what to ask for. I can't just say, "Hey, Dominate me more!" That doesn't work. Also, I don't want to come across as needy, I know it's a silly feeling, but it's there.

I'd be happy with any suggestions or comments any of you have to offer.

[subcurious63]

Honestly, i am far from an expert, as i have very little real time experience, but i think that you should tell him exactly what you just told us. Explain to him that you love that he tells you when you are doing well, but that you wish that you had more structure, and maybe you could talk about some areas in your life, that you might like for him to take control over. You could also share with him that you would like to know some more ways that you could please him. While you cannot just say "hey, dominate me more", you can say that you are comfortable with the rules that are already established, and would love to have some new ones that you could follow, or maybe some rituals that could be added. Maybe things like a bedtime ritual, or a dinner ritual, or even a coming home from work ritual (Him, you, or both).

i do hope that you found some of this helpful. i wish you all the best. :D

[Euryleia]

You could also ask for some tasks from him, things you can do every day to remind you of your submission and his Dominance. The biggest thing to do is to talk to him. Communicate, communicate, communicate.

[Ozme52]

Do as advised by subcurious and Euryleia, but I propose you make your request naked, on your knees, butt and body down.

I call it begging for a boon. You get to ask, but in the most respectful way.

[badlyguidedlittlemis]

While you cannot just say "hey, dominate me more", you can say that you are comfortable with the rules that are already established, and would love to have some new ones that you could follow, or maybe some rituals that could be added. Maybe things like a bedtime ritual, or a dinner ritual, or even a coming home from work ritual (Him, you, or both).

I agree with the above, and was pretty much what I wanted to say. In my personal experience, my relationship with my dominant started with a few simple 'rules' which naturally developed into more rules with rituals as our relationship grew.

I even began doing an action which I enjoyed doing for him every night, and now it is my bedtime ritual which he loves as much as me.

I hope your conversations go well, let us all know what happens if you can.

[annie]

I full agree that you need to communicate with your Dominate. And not knowing what your current "rules" are I am going to toss this out there as well...

I know at times when i get to feeling that way, normally if i stop for a moment and think about the day and what happened, etc. i realize that i have served my dominate(s) in more ways then by just following the rules.

An example would be doing something that isn't a rule but doing it anyhow because you know he would like it... wearing a favorite color, working on a favorite position, etc. It is small but remembering why you are doing it may help to battle that feeling at times.

[SubmissiveDoll]

I did speak with Him just last night. He understands my feelings, and is happy to take more control over certain aspects of my life to help me feel a little better. Problem, I don't know what aspects to ask him to have more control over.

Annie, your right about thinking over my day. It's funny how many things I actually do that I don't realize I'm doing.

I think what I'm looking for is a bit more ritual, things I do all the time, to remind me of my submission. I know feeling that I belong to him, and I enjoy reminders of it. I'd be happy to hear any suggestions on what I could do for that.