deprivation

[princesss]

hiya E/everyone ,,,

i'm doing some research on deprivation and would like to hear of any experiences or links or knowledge that anyone here has on this topic ,,, both sexual deprivation ,,, emotional ,,, sensory ,,,

i know in the realm of BDSM it is sometimes used as a punishment ,,, but there r also T/those that enjoy it ,,, this is on both ends of the M/s relationship ,,,

looking forward to hearing all of the views from the members here ,,,

well wishes from

p :)

[Jennifer-Nylon]

Orgasm denial?;)

[princesss]

lol ,,, yes orgasm denial too ,,, would luv to hear some feedback on the deprivation topic E/everyone

[Finding_Fantasy]

I like the visual deprivation. You can feel everything more and the anticipation and expectation is so much higher, not knowing when or where it is going to come...and with what.

[Jennifer-Nylon]

I understand. I was blindolfed (mask) and restricted for candle wax. It was excellently wicked.:)

[BDSM_Tourguide]

... that sounds familiar for some reason.

Except I took pictures.

[Finding_Fantasy]

Yes...yes you did take those pictures. And then showed me how fat my butt really is *lol*

[YNHumiliator]

Do people really get off on orgasm denial? Seems a pretty lame form of punishment to me! Surely not as intense as a decent leather strap across the thighs?
What exactly is orgasm denial anyway? Are we talking here of making the recipient wait a while for their orgasm or denying it to them completely?

[BDSM_Tourguide]

... even done properly, I wouldn't consider orgasm denial a punishment. I would consider a warm enema held in place by a butt plug to be punishment, but orgasm denial hardly seems worth the time or the effort unless you have a lot of time and effort to put into it.

To answer your question: Orgasm denial is either repeatedly bringing someone to the point of orgasm and then not letting them have it, teasing them over and over again and working them into a higher and higher point of stimulation each time or it is simply denying them sexual gratification of any kind.

The problem I have with orgasm denial as a punishment is, in example one, the build-up is so nice and sexually pleasing that the orgasm becomes a secondary concern and is not motivational as a punishment at all. In example two, unless I have another outlet for my sexual drive, denying my partner her gratification is also denying myself mine. And to me, that is not punishment. At least not JUST to her.

[princesss]

interesting to hear the different views on the deprivation of sexual release ,,, it seems princesss and her Owner look at it in a different light ,,, in the beginning of the relationship it was used as a tool to teach her that her her purpose is to please Him ,,, to train her to control the need to release until allowed to do so ,,,

as far as sensory deprivation ,,, such as hoods or blindfolds ,,, it enhances and stimulates the other senses ,,, not to mention the apprehension ,,, the wondering and straining to hear and anticipate what is about to happen ,,,

as mentioned in the beginning of this thread ,,, princesss is writing an essay on this topic for a BDSM support website and is very interested in the views of A/all that would b willing to share them ,,,

and thanks to T/those for taking time to participate in this discussion ,,,

well wishes ,,,

p

[BDSM_Tourguide]

I'd like to know. I run one or two, too.

[princesss]

the url for the website is

http://www.msnusers.com/subsupport

[write4jetc]

We also use deprivation in our playtime. Usually when she is tied up, she is also blindfolded. It drives her nuts, because it really allows her no control over anything, even herself. Of course, even being tied up is deprivation in itself, because she can't touch me. Hmmm, that sounds rather arrogant, but you know what I mean!
And orgasm denial is simply the best! Tying her spread eagle on the bed, and teasing her almost to release, but not allowing her to cum, delicious! She twists and writhes so well; she's so beautiful.
Occasionally, I make her stand at the bottom of the bed, with her arms out along the top of the footboard, not tied, faving me on the bed.. And I will arouse myself to orgasm, not allowing her to touch me in any way. She also can't touch herself, of course. It's a real test of her obedience; if she moves her arms in any way, I make her stand in the corner so she can't see me. I leave her there as punishment; there is a set of cuffs there over her head, and she locks herself into them until I release her. The louder I moan and enjoy myself, the more she whimpers to join me.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

I remember doing things simlilar to that before all my stuff went into storage. I miss having all my bondage accessories, especially the big dildo, the butt plug and the spreader bars. Maybe I need to see about having them shipped here. How does one go about asking one's mother for those things, though? LOL

[write4jetc]

Hmmm, that could pose a problem!
In our case, lack of equipment has been a problem, since she absolutely refuses to go into anykind of play store and buy things. I have threatened to punish her if she doesn't, but she gets really upset at even the thought of it, so we make do with things we find around the house, or that were originally intended for other uses. Obviously, scarves and things make great cuffs/ties, instead of overhead bars I tie her to the shower rod in the bathroom, a slipper makes an adequate paddle, as does a ruler. Clothes pins make interesting clamps. I made her a 'chastity belt' out of a long narrow strip of fabric; tied around the waist, and then pulled down her ass crease, and up through her pussy lips to be tied again in front of her; it causes just enough friction when she walks around that she remembers who she belongs to. She used to only wear it when we were together, but when I tell her to, she wears it to work.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Half of the stuff, well, more like 80% of the stuff I own I bought online at ebay. It's easy, convenient and you don't have to worry about going into those "embarrassing" adult stores to get your items. Just go to the adult audiences section of ebay and type in BDSM, bondage, paddle, flogger, gag, etc. Whatever you're looking for and you will get way more results than you can shop through, I'm sure.

Have fun!

[write4jetc]

Actually, we have managed to collect quite a nice little collection of 'stuff'.
We took an old pair of fleece-lined suede gloves, and cut off the hand part. They make wonderful cuffs that don't bite into her skin too much. Then we bought a D shaped bolt from the hardware store, and threaded it through 2 small holes in each cuff. Add a 2 foot length of chain, and padlocks to make the chain any length I want, and hey!presto! magic.
The same worked for ankle cuffs.
The blindfold was easy to come by; we use a sleep mask. Comfortable to wear for long times, but completely obliverates her sight without getting in the way of her breathing. The blindfold was hard for her to get used to; in took quite a long time before she didn't get very upset if I left the room she was in. And the first time I left her flat/apartment while she was tied and blindfolded - that turned into quite a lesson for both of us!! Talk about a loss of her control :)
A paddle - we tend to use a slipper. It is very easy for me to hold (my hands are not very big), and when it lost its effectiveness, I reinforced it with a thin piece of wood inside it. Very nice, but not used too often. In fact, I had pretty much forgotten about it. Hmmm ...
We made a flogger out of some nice suede we found. It was about 16" long, so we wrapped the top of it around a wooden dowel several times, and stapled & nailed it in place. Then we cut the rest of the length into strips. It works quite well, I must say. My favorite position for this is over the coffee table in the living room. I cuff her wrists near her shoulders, cuff her feet up close to her ass, lay her face down straddling the low table, and flog her. The flogger reaches her hands and the soles of her feet too this way.
Quite creative, eh?
She is going to be spanked quite hard tonight; she has been with her family for a week over the holidays, and has fallen back into her role as hardassed, hardheaded bitch. She needs taking down a peg or two; any suggestions?

[Finding_Fantasy]

Western shops can have a lot to offer in the way of BDSM equipment and you don't have to be embarassed to go there. They sell good quality crops as well as other things one might not think of such as lunging whips. They also sell hobbles, which are usually lined and connected with chains. A good substitute for hand cuffs and much more comfortable. Also, one can usually buy lengths of good quality leather of different thickness and width for reasonable prices for whatever little toys you might want to make.

[Kallie Thomas]

So many look at me like I'm a complete loon when I recommend going to western shops/farm supply/tack shops for fun gear. Breeding hobbles, pawing hobbles, a wonderful array of ropes, connectors, leather straps, bits. Even cages ;) Amazing stuff, and usually a good bit cheaper than BDSM specialty shops.

Okay, okay, so I probably AM a loon, but I'm happy to know that others are aware of the wonderful world of western shops.

Kallie

[Finding_Fantasy]

The ideas came from the fact that I used to do a lot in the rodeo scene and, coming from a small town with no shops available and little money, I thought about it and western shops came to mind. Heck, even a good set of spurs could entertaining if you got the right kinds and they were used right. :p