meeting Dom for first time

[milaura]

i have been talking online with a Dom for two months .and we get along great.
we have been taking it slow to see if it might work in RL. {he is already talking about sending me a plane ticket.}
how long should i wait until me meet in RL,and how do you know when the right time come?

[bip0lar]

oh i don't know, you just know. if you don't feel safe enough to travel alone to go visit, think it over, talk it over with him.--at least that's what i'd do. There's no answer to either questions, it's not like 'after 6 months you can meet and all will go great, but before that it won't.' that's nonsense; you could be talking for a month and feel that click, that connection.
but my advise would be if you have to ask yourself whether you're ready and even a part of you says 'no' then wait a bit.
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16150 amongst other threads might also be of interest to you

[Ozme52]

A plane ticket means his turf... and that's okay, I'm not against it per se, but you should have an escape route. A way to leave should you need to... someone to check in with... someone who knows where you'll be and will check in with you... and a word that if missing from a phone conversation means you need help regardless of how happy you claim to be. Like a 'safeword' but instead sometimes referred to as a 'duress' word.

So, where you'll be meeting... in a city where you can easily get a cab? or in the country... where you might want your own rental car?

A local contact you already know or can make the acquaintance of through this forum?

And of course your cell phone, fully charged and set up for quick dial to boot.

Doms with experience meeting new subs, especially those met online, will be familiar with the routine and won't object.

[Ozme52]

oh i don't know, you just know. if you don't feel safe enough to travel alone to go visit, think it over, talk it over with him.--at least that's what i'd do. There's no answer to either questions, it's not like 'after 6 months you can meet and all will go great, but before that it won't.' that's nonsense; you could be talking for a month and feel that click, that connection.
but my advise would be if you have to ask yourself whether you're ready and even a part of you says 'no' then wait a bit.
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16150 amongst other threads might also be of interest to you


Good points... but I'm not sure the one statement is valid. There will always be some small doubt about meeting someone... and if you don't have it... one might suggest one is naive.

Trust your instincts but don't give up on your commons sense either.

[milaura]

Good points... but I'm not sure the one statement is valid. There will always be some small doubt about meeting someone... and if you don't have it... one might suggest one is naive.

Trust your instincts but don't give up on your commons sense either.

thank you, after reading your post i feel a whole lot better.

[violett]

Good luck if you decide to go and meet your dom. I met my dom in r/l a couple of weeks ago. I chose the venue - a public place, had TWO safe contact calls in place one of whom was only 20 minutes away. Both safe contacts knew what time I was going to be there and also when I should be leaving and exactly where I was - ok I got told off for leaving late but I was having such a good time with him. My master made sure I was at ease all the time and did not put any pressure on me whatsoever. He also contacted my safe calls too to let them know i'd arrived safely and when I left the venue as the signal on my cell fone wasnt working. I know what a wonderful guy I have in my master now and trust him implicitly and cant wait to meet up again and will still have safe calls in place next time. Just remember if/when you do meet up with someone - safety first.