Wondering, period.

[GreenDragonFly]

Yes, a lovely thread about periods. Not just anyone mind you, mine! Oh joy.

Just as a general question, and any answer is okay, is why I ask.

My boyfriend (dom) and I are new to the lifestyle and slowly creeping into adapting to it, but we've come across the problem of when i'm on my period. From everything as to me not being naked when he is around, being playful, to sex. I completely reject the idea of having sex while on my period. To me, it is just not pleasing and I'd rather be left alone. I also feel fat when i'm on my period, and being undressed just ruins it for me. Ick, what an awful time.

What do you guys (couples) do when it's that time and still keep that D/s atmosphere?

Just curious. Anything welcome.

<3 MUCH LOVE :wave:

[DowntownAmber]

We throw down a towel and go for it...lol Looks like we were slaughtering chickens in the bedroom when it's over, but that's what God created Wet Naps for! :D

Seriously though... Unless I have cramps to the point where I'm in pain it's not usually an issue. I used to be a little self conscious about the mess it can make, but as soon as I realized he didn't care, well, neither did I. I know the hormones and fatigue can make a girl a little wonky during this time so make sure you are taking iron, a multi-vitamin and are eating properly the week leading up to and during and see if that helps.

[Euryleia]

Welcome to the forums.

I had a girlfriend who saw that blood as life-giving and she insisted on us using it as fingerpaint as a way to reclaim it from thinking of it as bad or yucky. So, my advice is to try and have fun.

[damyanti]

I know the hormones and fatigue can make a girl a little wonky during this time so make sure you are taking iron, a multi-vitamin and are eating properly the week leading up to and during and see if that helps.


Sorry for disrupting the thread...but I have been wondering about what that means exactly. I even tried to Google information about what foods could help with hormones not going crazy, but I had no luck.

As far as multi-vitamins are concerned I never noticed them doing anything good, on the contrary they make my stomach sick. I much better tolerate taking supplements individually (like vitamin C,...but I am incorrigible about taking tablets at all, especially regularly and on time), so iron might be a good idea.

[icey]

you can be more sensitive to everything during your period including pain as well as emotions, dieuretics taken regularly 2 weeks before the start of your period makes a big difference as it helps reduce the water sustained during that time which causes the,sluggishness and bloated feelings, tissue salts are also supposed to be very good at relieving period problems as they restore the bodys natural balance of hormones mnerals etc, they're totally natural are safe and have no side effects, ive had them recommended to me by a few diferent women including my gp though ive not yet got round to trying them lol.


if you're not comfortable with sex during that time greendragonfly then to keep the D/s side going why not come to some compromise such as perform oral,be restrained, adopt certain positions, obey orders, dress a certain way etc while he or you masturbates him,
perhaps you could both try to experiment with various types of play maybe a role play type scene...a serving wench fetching his drinks..school girl doing homework..or whatever lol (you might be surprised and find there's some things you're happy with) that doesnt involve full on sexual activity or expose your body but still pleases him.
that way he's still 'controlling' the situation (to a degree) and you're not uncomfortable with having to have sex.

and if nothing works then i guess you both have to accept that and put it on hold for those particular days, it would be pointless being tense and uncomfortable as that will just build into frustration and resentment on both parts if its not handled carefully.

[lozzy]

Untill i met my current boyfriend I always had issues with sex and being clothesless when on my period, but my boyfriend now was just amazing about it, he sees nothing wrong with me or it, and like DowntownAmber we just go for it.

I find though, that because my hormones are *all* over the place when I'm on my period, we have to be especially careful during any scenes, because I sometimes find it hard to differentiate between whats in a scene and is just being said for my enjoyment, and whats actually being meant. eg humiliation, normally i can walk away from a scene after a cuddle and a chat and be fine with it, its not a knock to my self esteem, but when im on my period... i can really take it to heart.

Not that that was really relevant.

Why not have some rituals or do some roleplay which doesnt culminate in sex?

[jeanne]

Sorry for disrupting the thread...but I have been wondering about what that means exactly. I even tried to Google information about what foods could help with hormones not going crazy, but I had no luck.

As far as multi-vitamins are concerned I never noticed them doing anything good, on the contrary they make my stomach sick. I much better tolerate taking supplements individually (like vitamin C,...but I am incorrigible about taking tablets at all, especially regularly and on time), so iron might be a good idea.

The entire B vitamin family works wonders. My ob-gyn recommended this to me several years ago when I was about at my wit's end with premenstrual syndrome. Find a B-complex type of supplement and take it as directed. All the symptoms will lessen - even the hormonal craziness!

[annie]

Yes, a lovely thread about periods. Not just anyone mind you, mine! Oh joy.

Just as a general question, and any answer is okay, is why I ask.

My boyfriend (dom) and I are new to the lifestyle and slowly creeping into adapting to it, but we've come across the problem of when i'm on my period. From everything as to me not being naked when he is around, being playful, to sex. I completely reject the idea of having sex while on my period. To me, it is just not pleasing and I'd rather be left alone. I also feel fat when i'm on my period, and being undressed just ruins it for me. Ick, what an awful time.

What do you guys (couples) do when it's that time and still keep that D/s atmosphere?

Just curious. Anything welcome.

<3 MUCH LOVE :wave:

I full understand and agree. I once over heard a guy tell his girl friend at the time that she was "broken" because she was on her period and didn't wish to have sex. *grrrrrrrrrrr* (Made me want to break a few things but that discussion is for another thread!)

I basically dislike anything even mildly sexually related during my period. Plus, to be very blunt, sex at that point doesn't really have any sensation for me, especially vaginal penetration and the chances of my orgasming during a cycle are about 1,000 to 1 under the best of circumstances. Plus vaginal penetration, when my cycle is almost over actually seems to set it off again so instead of it being 2 or 3 days it can be a week to 10 days. (So, I like to point out that there is a benefit in waiting just a couple of days normally because it will result in less lost time.)

And that doesn't even get into the fact that my breasts can normally take a fairly strong amount of torture but at that point even leaning against something lightly can cause tears of pain... the cramping... the back ache... the hormones... the memory loss... hell at that point it even seems as though my clit is numb and unattentive. *grrrrrrrr*

So i understand. I basically refuse anything at that point. Or let me state it this way, i prefer not to do anything of a sexual nature at that point and have discussed in detail why and luckily an blessed with Dommes who understand! (One large advantage to serving women... they get it! ;) )

How do we get around it... well, oral or anal is an option. But, my mind/heart isn't even into that normally then either. The best way that i have found to maintain my submission during that time is to take the sexuality out of it and focus on the service. Write something creative, do a little something special, pay extra attention to the other ways that i can be of service. It requires a lot on the partner too though... more understanding and patience. Assigning tasks that work with my period instead of against. Like alone meditation time, quiet baths, personal time. Things that are pampering to me and yet ordered so that 1. I still feel like i am being of service. 2. I am able to get back to full service quicker.

And honestly if they aren't willing to understand and be patient with me during that time then my tolerance for them being "off" when something physical is up with them (be it male or female) is lower. It's all about partnership and managing it in a way that's best for the relationship.

[DowntownAmber]

Sorry for disrupting the thread...but I have been wondering about what that means exactly. I even tried to Google information about what foods could help with hormones not going crazy, but I had no luck.

As far as multi-vitamins are concerned I never noticed them doing anything good, on the contrary they make my stomach sick. I much better tolerate taking supplements individually (like vitamin C,...but I am incorrigible about taking tablets at all, especially regularly and on time), so iron might be a good idea.

Derail away... ;)

In the food department it is more what you stay away from than what you actually eat. This doesn't mean skipping meals, of course, but avoid foods with a ton of sodium (they will only enhance water retention) and foods with a high sugar content, especially synthetic sugars.

Multi-vitamins are only as good as the brand, so if what you're taking doesn't work for you either shop around, have an individual mix designed and bottled up for you, or individual ***** are also an option. Grossly enough, fish oil is great (allows for your body to actually absorb and use many of the vitamins you take in pill form or from your food), B vitamins, and iron. Iron is essential for me because I am enemic to begin with and the loss of blood during my period only enhances that.

Hope that helps!

**Quickie Add On** Most diet and vitamin changes don't actually cause hormonal changes, they simply allow your body to deal with the fluctuations better. I have heard that certain types of birth control ***** can help out of hormone swings are out of hand, but that's up to you and your doctor.

[SubmissiveDoll]

Yep, I'm with Amber. Less salt will help with the water retention, thus making you slightly less bloated and more comfortable. And fish oils.. yes they help. There are several studies being done right now to test the qualities on mood vs. omega 3 fatty acids (fish oil). They are good for you!

As for the play while on your period. I certainly have no problems with it, as long as He doesn't. As long as I'm not in too much pain from cramping anyway. I used to worry a lot about how I looked. Bloating makes you feel horrible, and it's hard to feel sexy when on your period. It took some work, but, I'm mainly over that. I still have my slips, but for the most part I'm ok with it. So long as he still wants me, I"m happy!

[Polaris]

You can try lots of soy in whatever form you enjoy, too. Personally, I like the soy drinks and soy pudding stuff. Soy contains phytohormones (that's herbal hormones) which to a certain amount may help fix minor issues with your period (helps me to keep it nice and regular). As far as food supplements are concerned, almost nobody lacks Vitamin C, and almost everbody doesn't have enough iron. Very common are also lacks in Vitamin D (because it is only absorbed in combination with fatty acids) and B. If you feel down at times I would recommend a high quality combination of all common vitamins. If it doesn't help, it won't harm. For access water you can also try nettle tea, works wonders and is entirely natural.

To return to the original question -- I'm on the same page with Amber, my period is usually no issue for me and neither is it for him, so if we (he) feel like it we go for it. I don't think, however, that sex, nakedness or anything between these lines is required to have a D/s dynamic going. There are other things that you can do, I for example like simply sitting at his feet, or running him a bath, or...I don't know, just little things -- he says, I do, and while this is possibly not the most orgasmic thing to do, it nonetheless reminds me of the way things work between us, even if life intervenes and we don't get to play as much as we would like. So maybe something like that might work when you are on your period and not feeling up to any purely sexual escapades? Just a thought :)

[damyanti]

Thank you all.

Fish oil is a no-no, since I am vegetarian, but I do drink flex seed oil instead. It isn't gross, but isn't tasteful either.
I don't eat junk food (ok, rarely, lol), or much salt - which is why I tried to research it, because I seemed to be doing everything right, and yet, for a day or two, my hormones go completely crazy.

On topic - as long as I am not dying from pain,...if he ain't grossed, neither am I.

[GreenDragonFly]

Thank you Annie and Lozzy, you gave me some great ideas on how to manage this. During the course of asking about this I talked about it with Him and he thinks they are all really good ideas and we will try some of them. So far, so good, and it's improving. For everyone else, I know we got off subject but those were actually just good to knows! A lot of things I didn't know that I will certainly look into as far as vitamins and certain foods beforehand. All really helpful, thank you guys a lot.

with <3,
gdf

[LilJennyLynn]

I've found that I'm more receptive to stimulation during that time of the month. Things down there are tighter and more pleasurable for both me and my man. When we're done, we joke about the "murder scene" and we both take a shower together. All said and done it's well worth it. We also tend to have more shower sex during my period, and I promise him Anal during that time frame too. Yeah I may feel bloated and icky in general, but if he ask me to be naked, I just wear a thong, and suck it up, cuz that's what he wants. If he wants to see me naked, then that means he's turned on, and that in turn....turns me on!
Good luck darlin! :wave:

[Kaitlyn]

I hate sex during that period,I just feel icky,no where sexy at all,i dont even want to wear anything sexy or think about sex.Just the way I feel and I hope if I ever have a Master/Dom that he/she understands.:dont:

[~faerie~]

We are both in agreement that no actual sex takes place. Neither of us are really into it, so it does nothing for us. However, we take this time to explore other options. We do waxing and flogging and some bondage. Mostly me on my knees (with a small pair of panties..this is the only time i am allowed to wear them. lol) serving him in what ever aspect he wants. Losts of cock worship is involvd. :D. We also take this time to practice and perfect my training. Hope this helps. :)

p.s. i am really moody and sassy. lol. gets me in trouble later ;)

[Flaming_Redhead]

Umm...how about not having a period?!?! That's what I do. There are a few contraceptive methods available that can significantly decrease or eliminate periods. I have a Mirena IUD and typically only spot if I've been on antibiotics which weaken the hormones. Depo-Provera works for some people but can cause weight gain. With Seasonale, you only have a period 4 times a year. When I was on Loestrin FE 1.5/30, my periods were only 3 light days with 1 day of "cleanout." If you can't take birth control, I feel for you. Otherwise, I really don't see any need to suffer.

Jus' sayin'.

[claire]

Just a note about multi-vitamins & minerals. If you are not anemic, then the extra iron can cause problems. It is usually what causes the stomach pain when you take them.

Also for me an orgasm is about the best cure for menstrual cramps that I know of, except for maybe heavy duty pain killers.

[shayna{L_D}]

When i was with my girlfrind, she was the frist and only girl i have ever been with, she didnt mind my period at all. I didnt want to not have sex on my period, i still get horny, and yes i feel fat and dont think the blood is something she wanted to see/feel. But like Downtown Amber said, we just threw down a towel and went for it. Now let me clear it up, she didnt go down on me while i was on my period, she just did other things. I never really looked at the mess i made (er sounds gross) we would just hop in the shower afterwards and clean up.

[lozzy]

or of course... theres sex IN the shower... which is always fun!

and if all else fails - its called blowjob week for a reason!