View Full Version : unsure
it's a bit of a dumb and probably pointless question lol but do you ever feel as though you shouldnt post? not neccassarily because you're a sub (maybe you're a Dom/me or switch) but because you feel like you're acting like a know all? even though you know that in the scheme of things you know that you're not important or that what you have to say or offer probably means nothing at all.
because i feel like that every time i post and im always a bit unsure and i often either dont fully say what i want to say or get kind of muddled up waffle on or try to justify what im saying and end up talking crap, but i have a big mouth and cant help wanting to say something lol
SubmissiveDoll
10-06-2008, 02:00 PM
LMAO Icey you are too funny. But, yeah I do that from time to time.
But, this board is for people to express themselves and opinions. There are a lot of BDSM 'experts' out there. But, when it comes down to it, we are all different. And when someone posts a question, they are asking for advice and opinions. When I start a thread I want as many different responses as I can get. Maybe I'll try what you say, maybe I won't. But, it's always nice to have options.
So you post girl! Post as much as you want/need to. It's all subjective anyway. Besides, it wouldn't be the same library without your blunt opinions! lol
leah06
10-06-2008, 02:39 PM
I really value your posts, Icey. Please keep posting. Yes, I hesitate before every post and then feel bad immediately after I hit the "post" button.
blythe spirit
10-06-2008, 02:53 PM
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!! Icey, icey, icey. Really, Isee - what you mean that is. I have written lengthy posts and then "poof" deleted them for fear people would take them the wrong way, or wouldn't understand what I was trying to say, or could give a crap what I was saying.
I neither have the intellect or the knowledge to give advice so, I state my opinion mostly and figure that's what most posters are doing. I, for one, always enjoy your muddled posts lol and find them very enlightening.
thrall
10-06-2008, 10:37 PM
Icey honey.....everything you say has value....just as what others have to say has value. You are just as important as everyone else......just as everyone else is as important as you.
I like what you post. I like what you have to say.....and i like it that you dont think you are the live all end all of .......just my two cents.
big hugs icey....and please keep posting
claire
10-07-2008, 02:51 AM
You have abundant experience, which many of us don't. I always appreciate your posts, even if I don't always agree with what you say. Besides if we ramble enough, we may occasionally offer a bit of wisdom.
damyanti
10-07-2008, 03:11 AM
it's a bit of a dumb and probably pointless question lol but do you ever feel as though you shouldnt post? not neccassarily because you're a sub (maybe you're a Dom/me or switch) but because you feel like you're acting like a know all? even though you know that in the scheme of things you know that you're not important or that what you have to say or offer probably means nothing at all.
because i feel like that every time i post and im always a bit unsure and i often either dont fully say what i want to say or get kind of muddled up waffle on or try to justify what im saying and end up talking crap, but i have a big mouth and cant help wanting to say something lol
Are you kidding? Come on tell it truthfully, this post is about me, ;) ... ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!
Every time, little ol innocent me, posts something it always ends in...:dunno: ... :faint: ... :284: ... :wtf ... :clubme: ... :rtfm: ... :aol_golde ...LOL, but if I have an opinion...I mean, what good is it having it if I dont share and practice it. ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!
Your posts on the other hand,....I LOVE your posts, they are educational and fun and you are brilliant. :D
*sends a big hug*
love,
D.
phew! im glad im not the only one, i was beginning to think i should retire gracefully ..or perhaps in my case with the blunt ramblings not so gracefully lol
it is hard though sometimes when you've posted, especially with some posts and then wonder and worry if you've maybe pissed everyone off and then later you see someones posted after you and think oh oh :( even when i put this OP post up i was thinking god this is such a dumb post people will think who is she to ask a question/start a thread.
oh the joys of insecurity and self-flagellation ;) hehe
fetishdj
10-10-2008, 02:27 AM
This would be a very boring and not at all useful board if everyone thought they should not post (for whatever reason). And it is true that every one has opinions that are valid and need to be shared. What I would hate to see (apart from no posts at all) are:
- Posts that are nothing more than 'I agree' with no explanation as to why you agree
- People getting angry or upset because their opinions are being challenged
A forum is a place where ideas can be shared and that is the opinion of everyone who joins, regardless of experience. The dark side of that is that not everyone agrees with you and has the right to say so. Good advice comes from a combinaiton of all the information and advice presented in response to a question that has been discussed, verified from numerous sources, questioned, debated and then filtered through a common sense filter (you can buy them from all good shoe shops). It is also what you, as an individual, think of the information presented and how much of it you want to take on board based on the collaborative debate. For this to work properly, everyone has to have a say and everyone has to be aware that what they say will be put up for scrutiny by people who may have a different opinion and more experience. The ability to modify your opinions based on new evidence is a useful one to have...
i like the 'dark side' and enjoy it when people disagree and want to dispute what you've said :) even though i do feel insecure about it all lol
i also like to take on board what other people say,it's not necassarily that i'll suddenly change my beliefs in fact i rarely do lol but it's always good to look at something from other perspectives,
but i disagree that more experience makes anything someone says more meaningfull or right (if thats what you're saying?) i remember once a very well known and respected Domme of many years experience who ive always admired and almost always disagreed with on just about everything lol saying to me in another forum that just when she thinks she has everything sussed i say something and she suddenly finds herself looking at things all over again and finds me very ''refreshing'' lol and im still not sure if thats a compliment or not!
but anyway no matter how experienced or inexperienced people might be all are as valid other than perhaps the more technical side of things, then 90% of the time i would probably go with experienced IF my instinct told me to (i do have some brains lol)
the unfortunate thing is is when people like the others who have posted here and myself dont always have the confidence to fully say what we want to or are nervous of the outcome and some especially the female subs who tend to be the more cautious probably have more to offer than anyone else...now im totally wandering way off, your fault fetish you sidetracked me!!!
Pearlgem
10-11-2008, 05:48 AM
I'm new to the community and not hugely experienced, having only had one very private BDSM relationship and never being part of the 'lifestyle, so yes, I wondered what on earth I could possibly contribute to anyone's comments on here. But you know what, someone wrote with a problem that I just so happened to have direct experience of so I wrote what I knew and from the subsequent replies I could see that I hadn't been ignorant or foolish and had even been helpful. That was very gratifying. I don't expect always to be so 'smart' - I feel like my experience is about used up - but it gave me confidence to at least contribute. If you're the one posing the problem or query or thought, it's brilliant when folk are thoughtful enough to respond and you can judge for yourself how useful the replies are. I enjoy the humour, intelligence and personalities of the people on here, as well as appreciating the help, so I would urge anyone to get involved, respond to your instinct and post with confidence.